When A Former Coworker turns up with an ad

[jeezifonly]

We’ve not been in touch since beginning of lockdown. But we were definitely work friends - we had (with “hurry up and wait” a big part of the work) a lot of time to chat. Never flirted, but he was a smart and fun colleague whom I still miss.

Stumbled on a profile on FriendBoy while checking a link from this site - phone number matches, full face shown, clearly him. Still a pleasure to see him from behind…If he was a stranger to me, I bet a session would be fun! I asked myself what to do, and I answered “nothing”

Has anyone encountered a similar situation?  
Actually made contact thru the ad?  
Hired?  
Gave a winking nod when social circumstances brought you together?  
Actually talked about it? 

I may text him for an overdue coffee, but would not be bringing it up when he talks about his new worklife. Would be a script idea for a film from Breaking Glass that would go straight to LOGO and maybe tubi. 😂

[+ Charlie]

It would make a great RomCom script, but I suspect that the reality would be awkward, if not uncomfortable for both of you, given your history.

[dbar123]

Don’t shit where you eat.

Let it pass and say nothing to anyone at work. 
 

While not a work thing, I’ve run into 2 different Rentmen I’ve used at my local gym. Even then I just smile and move on. They are entitled to their private lives.

Edited May 24, 2023 by dbar123

[Rand]

I actually have seen my former coworker on rentmasseur couple of years ago. He’s still there. It was awkward to stumble upon his profile and I never contacted him. I wish him all the luck but it’ll be weird for me to communicate with him through that lane. 

[robberbaron4u]

On occasion, a shudder runs the length of my spine when I hear, "Yoo hoo, Mr. ------------, it's me!". Private lives are just that, private, and, more often than not, do not kindly entertain "out of the blue" fond memories of past acquaintance. 

[jeezifonly]

7 hours ago, dbar123 said:

Don’t shit where you eat.

Let it pass and say nothing to anyone at work. 
 

Thx! I no longer work, and the one time I shat in the wrong place (41 yrs ago) prevented it from happening again in my career. I have also given the same solid Rose Castorini advice to others who needed to hear it!
 

I hope my friend is choosing to provide services because he enjoys it - I received a company-wide email in ‘20 during our furlough that he had resigned and had found other field-related work elsewhere in the city. He may very well be gainfully employed in town, and do it just because he wants to, for a way to meet guys. He’s listed only on Friendboy as far as I’ve found, which would probably not give the highest traffic for ads meant to yield income. 

I’ve said nothing to anyone who knows him about this. 

If I do run into him at any point I’m sure I’ll keep quiet about what I’ve seen. Nevertheless I used to love watching him walk away…😎

 

 

[Gymowner]

Why not? Are you a confident gay man or grovelling in denial from the 1980's? Contact him on the site. Ask him something you and he would know from working together. Say you always found him attractive and would like to take him to dinner to see if an arrangement will work. If it's really him and he is a 1980's closeted man then no response. If he is a 2023 professional he should take you up on the offer. Hell he may even say he found you interesting and attractive as well!

Such answers above are so in the closet from the gay liberal world it's amazing! Geez!!!

[+ Coolwave35]

I hired a guy from my graduating class. I lusted after him in 2001 and I lusted after him in 2022 when I purchased a few hours of his time. The first 20 minutes we reminisced about mutual dead acquaintances from back then, then we got it on.  We’ve been Facebook friends since 07 and was pleasantly surprised when he popped up on Rentmen.  I told him who I was before hiring. I have no regrets.  

[kingsley88]

Both of you are not working for the same company anymore and if you had good rapport, why not? I like Coolwave35's approach. As for me, I hooked up with a coworker 2-3 years before we were coworkers. We weren't in the same team but we were in the same department. Heck I didn't even know his last name and we just recognized each other at the holiday party. He left the company back in 2020 and I caught up with him a few weeks ago as friends. 

[maninsoma]

If you still worked for the company where you once worked together, I would definitely side with those saying "don't hire him."

Since neither you nor he works there, though, what's holding you back?  I would definitely be upfront with him from the get-go so that he knows you know each other, and then the ball is in his court as to whether he thinks it would be too awkward to be hired by you.  I just don't see why you having worked together years ago should make this uncomfortable for either of you, though.  I have a few former co-workers that I would gladly hire if I found an ad for them and it wouldn't bother me in the least to morph from "hey, I used to talk with you at work" to "wow, this is really fun to be naked with you because I always thought you were hot."

[marylander1940]

13 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

We’ve not been in touch since beginning of lockdown. But we were definitely work friends - we had (with “hurry up and wait” a big part of the work) a lot of time to chat. Never flirted, but he was a smart and fun colleague whom I still miss.

Stumbled on a profile on FriendBoy while checking a link from this site - phone number matches, full face shown, clearly him. Still a pleasure to see him from behind…If he was a stranger to me, I bet a session would be fun! I asked myself what to do, and I answered “nothing”

Has anyone encountered a similar situation?  
Actually made contact thru the ad?  
Hired?  
Gave a winking nod when social circumstances brought you together?  
Actually talked about it? 

I may text him for an overdue coffee, but would not be bringing it up when he talks about his new worklife. Would be a script idea for a film from Breaking Glass that would go straight to LOGO and maybe tubi. 😂

Did you have a crush on him?

I would take him out for a drink instead of a coffee and ask "what's new with you lately?'. I don't think he'll be embarrassed to share his new career considering he openly displayed his face pic in the ad. 

I've never even heard of a situation like this.

 

[jeezifonly]

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

Did you have a crush on him?

I would take him out for a drink instead of a coffee and ask "what's new with you lately?'. I don't think he'll be embarrassed to share his new career considering he openly displayed his face pic in the ad. 

I've never even heard of a situation like this.

 

Not a crush. The occasional silent dirty thought, which I am certain was not reciprocated. But he’s fun and interesting and funny. He’s a man, not a boy, but has a can-do attitude and sensitivity to people’s needs. We problem solved together. His demeanor, intellect and vibe may make for the right match to clients wanting good company. 
It’s something that I am happy to leave as his private hobby. 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

7 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

I’ve said nothing to anyone who knows him about this. 

why is this even mentioned ?  It’s nobody’s business but his.  It’s not your secret to tell. 

15 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

may text him for an overdue coffee, but would not be bringing it up when he talks about his new worklife

this sounds creepy because it appears that your interest in “reconnecting” is only because you now know he’s an escort.

 If the idea that he’s a now an escort is interesting to you (which it obviously is) - then contact him in that context and be honest about it. Honest with yourself and him.  Going at this in a backwards way with an ulterior motive/agenda is sure way to an awkward encounter.  This is not a difficult concept between 2 mature consenting adults. 

if you really missed him that much, you would either (a)still be in contact or (b) not need an escort ad to do the prompt for reconnection

Edited May 24, 2023 by SouthOfTheBorder

[jeezifonly]

Lots of sound advice from members. I am not going to pursue any contact or convo, and if I happen to run into him somewhere in this vast city (where I am now retired) I imagine we’ll each have a couple laughs and move on. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

18 hours ago, dbar123 said:

Don’t shit where you eat.

Let it pass and say nothing to anyone at work. 
 

While not a work thing, I’ve run into 2 different Rentmen I’ve used at my local gym. Even then I just smile and move on. They are entitled to their private lives.

This is the right advice.

Don't be that guy.  No one likes that guy.

[+ Coolwave35]

New advice. I’ll hire him, and ask during our session if he’s ever lusted after a coworker. 

[+ keroscenefire]

 

Back when I was a teacher I hired a guy who was also a teacher in the same district. He used somewhat discreet pictures on RM that didn't show his full face. So I didn't know I knew him until he showed up. But actually we had definitely met and had done professional development and some other events together. He didn't say anything and I wasn't sure he recognized me, so I still did our session.

After the first time though I did tell him that I was also a teacher and that I knew who he was and that we even had some mutual teacher friends. I felt it was important to be honest and let him make the choice about whether he wanted to meet again. We actually did a couple times and we had a good time. But I did see him again in a professional setting after we met and just had to basically ignore him so it was kinda awkward. Fortunately, neither of us are in education any longer so it's unlikely we'd meet up in any kind of professional capacity again. 

[+ friendofsheila]

He might be dying to have someone to talkto  aobut his new work as an escort.

[+ Italiano]

It happened to me 3 months ago. I was working in Florida in a Theatre where I have been few times for a couple of months each time. In this Company they have always a group of about 35/40 Young Artists, and this time I noticed a buffed young man in his late 20s, early 30s who always used very tight pants and T-shirts. Not my type at all, but of course he made himself noticeable especially for his big round ass! He must have had already some face work done, fillers, botox or similars, it was quite clear. I commented that with a few other gay colleagues....

We had chit-chats just a couple of times, also because we were not working in the same show.

To my surprise, one day I opened Rentmen and.... I see his ad in that city, totally recognizable, face and body!

Not surprised at all that that he promoted himself as a bottom.

I had for a moment the idea of talking to him privately in order to tell him at least to make his face pics private, if somehow the Company would have found that out I am pretty sure he would have been fired for illegal activities. But I did not.

He completed the two months without problems.