Ghosting 2.0

[DWnyc]

As I think back to some experiences. I think some of this is situation specific.

In one case a growing friendship made it harder for me to keep making bookings; the provider was more open about how he hated aspects of his work and it felt almost abusive to make him perform for my pleasure (even though he benefited from payment).

In another case I felt obligated to book more regularly than i would have for my new friend, particularly since he was struggling financially. But the sessions became increasingly stressful for both of us as neither of us were our normal social selves during them, so it felt inauthentic with a friend. Our last few bookings had me essentially giving him fees like a gift with no provider work, until he himself told me to stop.

 

[Jaroslav]

7 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I personally would find it difficult to treat friends as paying clients. I prefer to keep that separate. 

Because you have your head on screwed on tight and don’t live in a fantasy world. You seem to me very reasonable and sensible – in touch with reality. 

[Jaroslav]

@DWnyc, the regular in question who told me he found ghosting rude but ended up ghosting me received gifts from me in addition to payment, even when he wasn’t immediately going to be with me. And I paid for a trip to Europe with him (completely) for which he was also paid for his “time.”

Edited April 8, 2023 by Jaroslav

[Jaroslav]

13 hours ago, jetlow said:

Could you elaborate further on the differences between Kollege, Kommilitone, and Bekannte for us English speakers? 

Kollege, “colleague,” which carry with it connotation of “work friend”

Kommiltone, “classmate,” but at an institution of higher learning. Generally someone you actually interact with, not the person on the other side of the lecture hall.

Bekannte, “acquaintance,” but can be more like the friend of a friend too. If you go out to eat with a Freund and they bring along a Freund of theirs who isn’t your Freund but you’ve met before and chatted it up socially, that’s also just a Bekannte. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

1 hour ago, Jaroslav said:

Because you have your head on screwed on tight and don’t live in a fantasy world. You seem to me very reasonable and sensible – in touch with reality. 

Exactly.

I keep those 2 separated very sharply.

I had a regular who stayed well past the time I hired him for. I insisted on paying him extra to avoid any complications. 

Likewise,  I make a point not to hire anyone for conversation. There are many intelligent,  well read, and educated escorts, but for me, bonding over conversation is for friends, not escorts. In fact, 2 of my 3 regulars are ESL, and I find that more relaxing.

[+ purplekow]

Recently had a provider cancel a few hours before an appointment due to illness.  Since then , I have not been able get a response from him to texts.  Last text to him stated that I was sure there was a reason for his not responding to my texts but that I would not be texting him again until I heard from him as I did not want to harass him.  .  Since then,,, crickets for the last two weeks.  

Edited April 25, 2023 by purplekow

[+ purplekow]

So, after 2 weeks or so, I received a text and then  nice phone call with an explanation and an explanation.  He had always seemed as though he were a reliable kind of guy so this is the way I expected this to end.  But if he had really been ghosting me, at least the interaction would have ended without too much muss and fuss and no vitriol at all.    A new appointment is to follow.   Expecting it to go off as planned.  But if it does not, will approach it the same way with an inquiry and then a text which shows ongoing interest but without and attempt to track him down.  Most of these men know how to run their business and if they do not, you probably do not want to be in the middle of that mess, so setting expectations and relaxing about it is almost always the right course of action.  

[NyGold]

What does “off the clock” even mean in this business? 

[Luvtalls]

Is it just me or has this happened to others; you set up an appointment a day or two ahead of time and everything sounds good then when you ask for their address they ghost you? If they need/want to cancel last minute at least have the courtesy of notifying the client!

[DWnyc]

On 5/29/2023 at 3:45 PM, Luvtalls said:

Is it just me or has this happened to others; you set up an appointment a day or two ahead of time and everything sounds good then when you ask for their address they ghost you? If they need/want to cancel last minute at least have the courtesy of notifying the client!

I rarely make appointments other than the day of - and one of the big reasons is this, as it happened quite a few times (including a couple of forfeited deposits so that’s not the reason as far as I’m concerned). More frequent was when I reached out to confirm only then would they tell me they couldn’t make it anymore (so maybe they would have ghosted if I hadn’t?)

I’ve even had ghosting when making an appointment 3-4 hours before the scheduled time - I call / text etc to confirm at every step of my journey to minimize time wasted in event that happens m. 

[pubic_assistance]

On 5/29/2023 at 3:45 PM, Luvtalls said:

Is it just me or has this happened to others;

Yup. Happens all the time.  You're dealing with a big variety of men. Some of which, are clueless about the kind of customer service that may make them a successful provider.

Edited June 2, 2023 by pubic_assistance
Grammar

[jeezifonly]

Digital relationships are virtual.

They seem real, but in fact, are not.

Always feel free to move on. It’s never Real.