Those who go all the way with masseurs, why not just escorts instead?

[jeezifonly]

Finding any provider who, in person, delivers on all expectations for the appointment is rare. Some of us have expectations in actual skill that outweigh those for sexual interplay. I sort out massage first, and if they also have an escort ad on another site it’s unlikely I’ll upgrade midway, but will have a second “hybrid” booked before I leave. 

[Brak]

Responding to the original question, there are a few reasons I tend to hire masseurs rather than escorts. I have a lot of anxiety around social interactions, and a massage is a nice way for me to ease into the situation, knowing what's going to happen, without having to deal with a lot of small talk and awkwardness. In addition to the massage itself being very relaxing, a good erotic masseur can naturally up the sensuality of the experience as it goes along and transition it into sex, which I really enjoy and appreciate. The anticipation of when that's going to happen, when he removes his clothes, where he touches me, when he invites me to touch him, all of that is very enjoyable to me. It can be pretty anticlimactic and disappointing to me when I hire a "masseur" and the "massage" lasts 10 min before he shoves his dick in my face.

Edited February 10, 2023 by Brak

[misterhumphries]

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I see the irritation @misterhumphrieshas around therapeutic masseurs being conflated with sensual or erotic masseurs. It’s because of out dated and puritanical attitudes towards sex, and the law being an ass. 

I start from the position that there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing sex work. As long as no one is being exploited then sex work is as good as any other work. It’s a societal need, and I hope that one day society will be mature enough to recognise that.,,,

 

 

 

Regardless of what one's opinions of the laws are, the fact remains they are laws of the land, ethical codes of various professions that provide service to the public that must be adhered to. There is nothing wrong with sex work; it fulfills a human need. I am also a proponent of the gay baths when they existed -- but let's call sex work just that. It's the wink-wink that a "masseur" is actually a prostitute under a different label that I find troublesome. Also, starting in 2020 or 2019, licensed massage therapists in my state must also complete an online training to make us aware of, how to spot telltale signs, and how to report sex trafficking. I mentioned masseurfinder and other gay-oriented sites. I considered advertising on them (I prefer to work on men and men tend to be better repeat clients) BUT the state  bylaws specifically prohibit an LMT from advertising on any site that promotes or implies there will be a sexual exchange of any kind. Lastly, as a gay man, I always think it a compliment of the highest degree when a straight man becomes a regular client because he is assured that my sexuality will be a non-issue in the manipulation of his naked soft tissue.

[Brak]

I feel like masseurfinder is pretty strict about not implying anything sexual in their ads. Rentmasseur is definitely not.

[TopBunk]

On 2/3/2023 at 5:30 AM, newatthis said:

"Nothing different."  I pointed out that, for example, his Rentmen ad mentioned he was into toys (something that hadn't happened in our massage session).  He said "yeah, I'm into toys, but just for myself."

No offense but could this be his way of not wanting more with you specifically?

[Brak]

@misterhumphries I guess what would your preferred outcome be? That anyone who's a sex worker doesn't advertise that they provide massage?

[Brak]

And "the fact remains that they are the laws of the land" sounds weird to me when sex work in general is against the laws of the land in many places and I think a lot of people (me included) would say that doesn't mean it's wrong.

Edited February 10, 2023 by Brak

[Jamie21]

20 minutes ago, misterhumphries said:

Regardless of what one's opinions of the laws are, the fact remains they are laws of the land, ethical codes of various professions that provide service to the public that must be adhered to. There is nothing wrong with sex work; it fulfills a human need. I am also a proponent of the gay baths when they existed -- but let's call sex work just that. It's the wink-wink that a "masseur" is actually a prostitute under a different label that I find troublesome. Also, starting in 2020 or 2019, licensed massage therapists in my state must also complete an online training to make us aware of, how to spot telltale signs, and how to report sex trafficking. I mentioned masseurfinder and other gay-oriented sites. I considered advertising on them (I prefer to work on men and men tend to be better repeat clients) BUT the state  bylaws specifically prohibit an LMT from advertising on any site that promotes or implies there will be a sexual exchange of any kind. Lastly, as a gay man, I always think it a compliment of the highest degree when a straight man becomes a regular client because he is assured that my sexuality will be a non-issue in the manipulation of his naked soft tissue.

They’re not the laws where I come from. Of course one adheres to the law, even if it’s wrong. Laws change when law makers are compelled to change them if society requires it.

So I shall continue to argue that sex work should be lawful, but regulated. If the state (England in my situation) introduced regulation around sensual massage that would be great because it would help drive out bad actors and bring legitimacy to a practice that is worthy of it. I wonder what ‘licensed massage therapists’ would think of ‘licensed sex work massage therapists’?  I’d suggest the latter is a more challenging and demanding job. 

 

[JayJxn]

3 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

In our society no one gets taught about how to get pleasure from their body, they find it by trial and error, if they find it at all. Having a sensual massage is a great step along the way to becoming a better lover. 

I agree totally. A sensual/erotic massage, if done right, is a journey of learning the intimacy of seduction of ourselves that can then translate into our seduction of another. I recently had a massage during which the masseur remained fully clothed, including his baseball cap. Initially, I was ticked at him but decided to go with it. Instead of thinking about his body, I was able to fully immerse myself in the experience of what his hands were doing to my body. What started out as “not ideal” in my narrow minded perception culminated in the happiest ending I have had in years. I will definitely be using certain “touches” that I enjoyed from him as I seduce my future lovers in what I hope to be mutual ecstatic endings. 

[Thelatin]

The real reason I hire a masseur - is because I want a massage.  My assumption is that a good portion of the time will be spent on a decent massage.  Escorts can be lazy in the massage department.

[Jamie21]

6 hours ago, JayJxn said:

I agree totally. A sensual/erotic massage, if done right, is a journey of learning the intimacy of seduction of ourselves that can then translate into our seduction of another. I recently had a massage during which the masseur remained fully clothed, including his baseball cap. Initially, I was ticked at him but decided to go with it. Instead of thinking about his body, I was able to fully immerse myself in the experience of what his hands were doing to my body. What started out as “not ideal” in my narrow minded perception culminated in the happiest ending I have had in years. I will definitely be using certain “touches” that I enjoyed from him as I seduce my future lovers in what I hope to be mutual ecstatic endings. 

Great story! Massage is a journey of exploration. Escort or Masseur it doesn’t matter the label but the good ones know that the journey is more important than the destination 😉. 

I was massaging a client recently and it seemed that nothing was happening: no reaction to my touch, no movements, no noises. I tried lots of the usual things (eventually you hit on the thing that starts to get the person going). It’s never the genitals or nipples - far too soon to go there - it’s another part of the body or a different type of touch or even a word whispered in their ear. But I couldn’t find it and she lay passive. 

As I was working her bum at the side of the table I dropped my oil bottle and it rolled underneath. I reached down to get it and my hair brushed her open hand at her side. This seemed to prompt a reaction so I stayed there while she ran her hand over my hair and face. A finger went in my mouth and that was it. From that point on she became reactive and increasingly aroused. 

Everyone has their ‘buttons’. Sometimes you find it easily, sometimes not so much, but you shouldn’t do anything in the ‘usual’ places until the person is almost desperate for it.

It’s like a car journey to the sea. The road twists and turns, you go around corners and get a glimpse of the sea on the horizon but then it’s gone again. As you get closer the smell and sound of the sea becomes stronger and excitement grows. 

That’s the journey: Keep them guessing, show them little glimpses, take them on a winding road of surprises. Afterwards they should have learned something about themselves. 
 

 

 

 

[kyleham]

I only hire masseurs. Let's face  many times even getting a truly legit massage it  feels so good one gets an erection. This happens to me all the time. I love being touched. If the connection is right the session has turned into an escort experience. I never initiate it the masseur has. Once a masseur tried up-selling for more and I passed. The few times it has happened it is at the massage rate.

[Exploritor]

For me, there are three categories:  masseur; masseur with extras; escorts.

I don't assume every masseur is an escort.  I can see how when people do, that it would be offensive, but I don't think we're really that uninformed, and it seems a bit too sensitive to me.  If someone presents themselves as a certified massage therapist, of either gender, I don't know anyone who instantly assumes "escort/hooker".

If you're a CMT, and strictly therapeutic, I don't expect to find you on rentmen, or even rentmasseur.  I'd expect to find you in a spa, through a gym, or medical venue.  If I'm looking for extras, I'm not making a massage appointment at my chiropractor, and expecting the four-hands treatment and a spit-roasting.  Similarly, even if he listed massage and CMT training on his profile, I wouldn't book Austin Wolf to work on a spasm near L4/L5.

I understand being offended if assumptions have been made, but I also firmly believe that where, and how, you present yourself, is really the determining factor of how you'll be viewed.

Regarding the OP, honestly, most escort ads intimidate me, and I'd rather hook up on my own merits, while I still can.  Masseurs with extras though, I like that I'm actually getting a massage, but knowing it can go further if I like the vibe, and I do go into the appointment hopeful that it will go farther, which I wouldn't do if he was strictly a "masseur".

[+ glennnnn]

On 2/3/2023 at 5:53 AM, Jamie21 said:

Yes agree, I bottom too and prefer it to stay in once in. But sometimes if there’s two guys topping and they keep swapping ends etc then air gets pumped in! 

If you drink don't drive if you eat beans don't play the tuba.😆

[Monarchy79]

On 2/7/2023 at 6:54 PM, misterhumphries said:

This topic is irksome for me. As a licensed massage therapist, it's insulting to be lumped in with the "masseurs" who do perform sex work under the guise of giving massage. 

But we (the customers) aren’t the ones who lump you all in…. It’s you… the licensed- 100% therapeutic-massage therapists. 

The customer understands the difference and makes a clear distinction of expectations when we go to: Hotel Spas, physical therapy massage studios, etc.  

it’s the “Massage therapists” who usually choose to cross lines of advertisement then are shockingly insulted when a customer desires a more sensorial experience. 

If you are a “professional, 100% therapeutic, massage therapist”, then don’t advertise on Masseurfinder (they actually have Massagefinder for the purely therapeutic folks), Rentmasseur or Rentmen. Create your own website to advertise where you can make your expectations of services clear, and there’s always specialty spas that cater to such needs. But to come into those type of spaces, and then be “shocked” and “insulted” is simply ridiculous. 

There’s room for all types of massage and all types of customers.  
 

 

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, Monarchy79 said:

There’s room for all types of massage and all types of customers.  

Bravo

[Thelatin]

If you use rentmassuer it clearly indicates what sort of massages they offer.  If it says erotic….I assume it’s erotic.  

Edited February 13, 2023 by Thelatin

[Wanderoz]

1 hour ago, Thelatin said:

If you use rentmassuer it clearly indicates what sort of massages they offer.  If it says erotic….I assume it’s erotic.  

But oh the many definitions of “erotic”!

[misterhumphries]

On 2/9/2023 at 6:08 PM, Brak said:

@misterhumphries I guess what would your preferred outcome be? That anyone who's a sex worker doesn't advertise that they provide massage?

Sorry but I don't have a clear-cut remedy for the situation. It's one of changing public perception which is tricky. Like beauty, the goal of massage is in the eye of the client. As I believe I shared on one of these pages, a potential date flatly refused to even talk with me after I stated I have my own massage therapy practice. In his mind massage = escort. I suppose it's state licensure and how a massage page is laid out (semi-naked photos of a therapist displaying his musculature, etc. that would NEVER appear on a legitimate licensed therapist's page, gay or straight) that separate my adjunct healthcare profession from the more entertainment-oriented forms of massage. 

Edited February 13, 2023 by misterhumphries

[misterhumphries]

On 2/12/2023 at 5:11 PM, Monarchy79 said:

it’s the “Massage therapists” who usually choose to cross lines of advertisement then are shockingly insulted when a customer desires a more sensorial experience. 

If you are a “professional, 100% therapeutic, massage therapist”, then don’t advertise on Masseurfinder (they actually have Massagefinder for the purely therapeutic folks), Rentmasseur or Rentmen. Create your own website to advertise where you can make your expectations of services clear, and there’s always specialty spas that cater to such needs. But to come into those type of spaces, and then be “shocked” and “insulted” is simply ridiculous. 

There’s room for all types of massage and all types of customers.  
 

 

As I believe I stated, state law prohibits my advertising on masseurfinder and others, so that's a non-issue.

My pique was at the original question of the topic: masseurs that go all the way, why not go to an escort? The question inferred that a massage is code for something sexual.

Nothing ridiculous in being proud of my profession. I bring a lot of relief and satisfaction to my clientele.

And yes, there is room for all when it comes to types of bodily manipulation. But don't call an apple an orange just because they are both fruits.

[pubic_assistance]

50 minutes ago, misterhumphries said:

My pique was at the original question of the topic: masseurs that go all the way, why not go to an escort? The question inferred that a massage is code for something sexual.

Well... grammatically speaking.  "Masseurs that go all the way" is not the same thing as "Since masseurs do go all the way". They are different topics of conversation. So perhaps you are reading into the conversation something that wasn't intended.

[Monarchy79]

3 hours ago, misterhumphries said:

As I believe I stated, state law prohibits my advertising on masseurfinder and others, so that's a non-issue.

My pique was at the original question of the topic: masseurs that go all the way, why not go to an escort? The question inferred that a massage is code for something sexual.

Nothing ridiculous in being proud of my profession. I bring a lot of relief and satisfaction to my clientele.

And yes, there is room for all when it comes to types of bodily manipulation. But don't call an apple an orange just because they are both fruits.

Well a “masseur” and a “masseur that goes all the way” are also different fruits. 

Thats where the acronym YMMV comes in. 

And to answer your question, a masseur who goes all the way can provide experience that some (or many) escorts don’t intend (or aren’t expected) to give, which is in the area of intense foreplay, the exploration of erogenous zones, the “build up” of intensity, and that sense of “not knowing what’s yet to come.” The entire sensorial experience is different. 

[Monarchy79]

3 hours ago, misterhumphries said:

 

Nothing ridiculous in being proud of my profession. I bring a lot of relief and satisfaction to my clientele.

 

You can be proud of your profession without slighting the professions of others. Your previous comment gave an air of you feeling that you are a “step above” unlicensed massage therapists, or “masseurs”, which was the main catalyst for my response to you. 
 

As I said before, there’s room for massage therapists, masseurs, and escorts. Let each group enjoy their lane and allow their customers to enjoy them, without judgment. 

[Monarchy79]

3 hours ago, misterhumphries said:

As I believe I stated, state law prohibits my advertising on masseurfinder and others, so that's a non-issue.

My pique was at the original question of the topic: masseurs that go all the way, why not go to an escort? The question inferred that a massage is code for something sexual.

Nothing ridiculous in being proud of my profession. I bring a lot of relief and satisfaction to my clientele.

And yes, there is room for all when it comes to types of bodily manipulation. But don't call an apple an orange just because they are both fruits.

The irony of all of this revolves around your screen name. The  “Mr. Humphries” I remember, (licensed or not) would definitely be one of the naughtiest masseurs in the industry…. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
 

Edited February 14, 2023 by Monarchy79

[Monarchy79]

4 hours ago, misterhumphries said:

As I believe I shared on one of these pages, a potential date flatly refused to even talk with me after I stated I have my own massage therapy practice. In his mind massage = escort. 

That’s a reflection of HIS ignorance, not on the general assumptions of massage therapists. People with common sense know the difference and act accordingly. 
You should be thankful that this potential date displayed his stupidity early on…