Anyone feel like a lot of providers are rude via text?

[+ Pensant]

When I was at my Seattle area place for a month I tried out 3 new providers. The first was fine, but not enough to see again. The second didn’t do much for me and the third was a a pleasant texter but showed up in a bad mood, immediately stifling my libido and buoying my spirits after he left without me wanting to touch him, although he was compensated as agreed.

Back home now, I’m eagerly anticipating tonight’s session with a new provider, since one of my long-time favorites has moved to Arizona and hasn’t had an ad in five years. Just received a few texts: “Today is the day!” and “my priority is making sure you have a memorable experience”. What an antidote for the occasional rude or monosyllabic text!

Edited January 30, 2023 by Pensant

[Todd Jenkins]

9 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

”Hi I’m at a hotel on 23rd and 5th downtown Indianapolis. Are you free later tonight?” He believes I’m in some  US city (swap Indianapolis for AN Orher place). God knows how he thinks that. “I’m in London, England, sorry”. I could add that if Concorde still flew I might be able to make it but my outcall rate for outside of London includes travel costs….

This is a VERY common occurrence and how you, the provider, responds tells me all I need to know about you. MANY times I have messaged a provider because I DID see that he was listed as being in my city. If a provider is curt with me when he informs me he is not in my city, I won't hire him, EVER. It takes the SAME amount of energy to be nice as it does to be rude. A very simple 'Hey there. Not sure where you saw my ad but I am currently in _____. But, hey, you never know when I will be back in the area. Keep a watch on my travel schedule and feel free to shoot me a text again. Would love to make a meeting happen!'

You can easily put this on a notes doc and reply.

One time, I messaged a provider and said "I see you are in my city, _____. Would love to see about possibly setting up an appt."
Provider writes back: "Where did you see that I am in ____?"
Me: "attaches screenshot"
Provider: "That's so weird. I haven't been there since ____. Thanks for telling me, I will fix that."

See how easy it was to be nice?

Now, same scenario happened with another provider...
ME: "I see you are in my city, _____. Would love to see about possibly setting up an appt."
PROVIDER: "Wrong, not there."
ME: "attaches screenshot"
PROVIDER: "Not there."
ME: "Will you be here soon or not at all?"
PROVIDER: "I just said I'm not there."
ME: "Sorry, just like your profile and think it would be fun to hangout. The profile said you were in town. Didn't mean to bug ya, sorry"
PROVIDER: "I was thinking about coming so I put my ad there for a few days. But not enough business."
ME: "Oh, ok. Well if you had said THAT in the beginning, I wouldn't have bothered you."
PROVIDER: "OK, I dont have time to text all damn day"
ME: ((note to self, NEVER HIRE THIS GUY!"

 

Edited January 30, 2023 by Todd Jenkins

[Jamie21]

9 minutes ago, Todd Jenkins said:

This is a VERY common occurrence and how you, the provider, responds tells me all I need to know about you. MANY times I have messaged a provider because I DID see that he was listed as being in my city. If a provider is curt with me when he informs me he is not in my city, I won't hire him, EVER. It takes the SAME amount of energy to be nice as it does to be rude. A very simple 'Hey there. Not sure where you saw my ad but I am currently in _____. But, hey, you never know when I will be back in the area. Keep a watch on my travel schedule and feel free to shoot me a text again. Would love to make a meeting happen!'

You can put this on a notes doc and reply easily. 

 

I never travel to other cities. I’m never listed in other cities. I’m not even on the same Continent as him! My RentMasseur advert always says “London”…..So if someone sends me a message like that my response “I’m in London, sorry” is I think totally reasonable. 

[TT3690]

I think a lot of it boils down to the purpose of communication. Many escorts only want to be contacted when the client is ready to book, while many clients see communication as another source of information to determine potential compatibility and whether it's a good "investment".

[NJF]

1 hour ago, TT3690 said:

I think a lot of it boils down to the purpose of communication. Many escorts only want to be contacted when the client is ready to book, while many clients see communication as another source of information to determine potential compatibility and whether it's a good "investment".

I understand the thought process for a lot of clients who want to do “research” before making a “commitment”. However, I personally don’t do it for several reasons. I have a general parameter of what I am looking for. I only contact a provider after screening for fake ads and safety checks. I only ask for availability for the time window that I am free. The satisfaction level of an encounter really depends on the chemistry, which no amount of “research” can truly predict. There are also more fun in exploring and experimenting.

[coriolis888]

3 minutes ago, NJF said:

The satisfaction level of an encounter really depends on the chemistry, which no amount of “research” can truly predict. 

So very true!

[Todd Jenkins]

6 minutes ago, NJF said:

The satisfaction level of an encounter really depends on the chemistry, which no amount of “research” can truly predict. There are also more fun in exploring and experimenting.

True, to a certain extent. However, if a provider is unwilling to spend a few minutes of just basic interaction before i spend a few hundred, I don't want to hire that person. 

[DWnyc]

In an ideal world both sides would have equal respect for the other.

Clients wouldn’t think they “own” a provider who must show eternal gratitude as they are so generous to engage them.

Providers wouldn’t think they are rescuing desperate people who have no other options either with other providers or in “real life”.

Part of this whole discussion is about the likely 90%+ instances where that equal respect isn’t actually there - on one or both sides as well as the business reality of making a sale in a competitive market with options. Clients and providers both need to understand they are not irreplaceable to the other.

I’ve met great providers where I’ve felt something close to empathy when they’ve described frustrations with clients - I’ve also met those who are arrogant, narcissistic, prejudiced, not to mention very short sighted (from a business perspective) in how they interact with clients. 

No right answer here - people are people and always will be. 

 

[coriolis888]

3 hours ago, DWnyc said:

 

I’ve met great providers where I’ve felt something close to empathy when they’ve described frustrations with clients - I’ve also met those who are arrogant, narcissistic, prejudiced, not to mention very short sighted (from a business perspective) in how they interact with clients. 

No right answer here - people are people and always will be. 

 

Rudyard Kipling had the correct approach when he wrote East is East and West is West. 

Thus, it is a waste of time to try to convert escorts to your views.

Some providers/escorts are rude and difficult while others are not.  That is just the way it is.  

[coriolis888]

17 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

I’m not defending anything. I dunno what your issue is, really. 

[TorontoDrew]

The only rudeness I have ever experienced from an escort is ignoring a message I have sent and that I've seen they read. Other than that it's always been polite and friendly.

 

[Boink]

56 minutes ago, TorontoDrew said:

The only rudeness I have ever experienced from an escort is ignoring a message I have sent and that I've seen they read. Other than that it's always been polite and friendly.

 

Same here. I'd rather have a curt "not interested" reply than no reply at all.

[AngusStevensxxx]

As a provider I can say this - we receive MANY MANY MANY messages daily and very few from actual clients and there are a few ways for us to spot the time wasters and fakes - I have spent 8 hours in one day interacting with fakes. 

 

1. they have not read the stats in our profile.  "How big are you? Where in the city are you? Do you host or do in calls? Do you top?" 

All of this information is listed on my profile - by asking this it shows me you have not bothered to read it why means you are not serious. If I am spending this amounts of money I would read the profile.  its a HUGE red flag. you will get a short reply "Check the details on my profile!" 

 

2. Asking what city am I in.  This drives me crazy - when traveling the RM site LISTS THE DATES. I like to advertise 2 weeks before I travel to a city - but people do not bother to even look at the travel dates when clicking the profile.  often I will put "DC - 3rd/4th/5th" and people will message and then we go to lock in address and it is in DC and it is the 1st and I am in NYC. 

 

3. Messaging asking "What are you into?"   when you are contacting a provider and you are paying for a service - you should be telling us what YOU are into.  I enjoy a WIDE range of activities and am very sexual - that's why I do this job! I do not have the time to list *EVERY* thing that turns me on.  Tell us what you are looking for so we can save you time as well. 

 

4. Rates?  the amount if times you get a one two word message is really shocking.  you will get a more attentive reply with "Hi there- saw you add on RM, was wondering about your rates? Im interested!" instead of 'Rates?" 

 

The BEST first messages have a few things in them - 

 

 include your name. That you saw our add on rentmen. briefly say what you are looking for, and rough estimate of time you are looking for, where you are located if it is an incall you are wanting.  SIMPLE! 

 

For eg. Hello Angus, I hope you are well. I saw your profile on Rentmen. I am in lower east side, and am looking for a bottom who likes to kiss. Is there a time you are available tonight, and what are your outcall rates?

 

This shows me that you have seen are looking for something and it matches my profile. gives me a time, a place, and a name. It will grab my attention. 

[coriolis888]

55 minutes ago, AngusStevensxxx said:

As a provider I can say this - we receive MANY MANY MANY messages daily and very few from actual clients and there are a few ways for us to spot the time wasters and fakes - I have spent 8 hours in one day interacting with fakes. 

 

1. they have not read the stats in our profile.  "How big are you? Where in the city are you? Do you host or do in calls? Do you top?" 

All of this information is listed on my profile - by asking this it shows me you have not bothered to read it why means you are not serious. If I am spending this amounts of money I would read the profile.  its a HUGE red flag. you will get a short reply "Check the details on my profile!" 

 

2. Asking what city am I in.  This drives me crazy - when traveling the RM site LISTS THE DATES. I like to advertise 2 weeks before I travel to a city - but people do not bother to even look at the travel dates when clicking the profile.  often I will put "DC - 3rd/4th/5th" and people will message and then we go to lock in address and it is in DC and it is the 1st and I am in NYC. 

 

3. Messaging asking "What are you into?"   when you are contacting a provider and you are paying for a service - you should be telling us what YOU are into.  I enjoy a WIDE range of activities and am very sexual - that's why I do this job! I do not have the time to list *EVERY* thing that turns me on.  Tell us what you are looking for so we can save you time as well. 

 

4. Rates?  the amount if times you get a one two word message is really shocking.  you will get a more attentive reply with "Hi there- saw you add on RM, was wondering about your rates? Im interested!" instead of 'Rates?" 

 

The BEST first messages have a few things in them - 

 

 include your name. That you saw our add on rentmen. briefly say what you are looking for, and rough estimate of time you are looking for, where you are located if it is an incall you are wanting.  SIMPLE! 

 

For eg. Hello Angus, I hope you are well. I saw your profile on Rentmen. I am in lower east side, and am looking for a bottom who likes to kiss. Is there a time you are available tonight, and what are your outcall rates?

 

This shows me that you have seen are looking for something and it matches my profile. gives me a time, a place, and a name. It will grab my attention. 

Lots of rules - 

[Todd Jenkins]

2 hours ago, AngusStevensxxx said:

As a provider I can say this - we receive MANY MANY MANY messages daily and very few from actual clients and there are a few ways for us to spot the time wasters and fakes - I have spent 8 hours in one day interacting with fakes. 

 

@AngusStevensxxx, When you say you recieve 'MANY MANY MANY messages daily,' how many would you say you recieve? 10, 20, 100? 

 

2 hours ago, AngusStevensxxx said:

1. they have not read the stats in our profile.  "How big are you? Where in the city are you? Do you host or do in calls? Do you top?" 

 

Sometimes the platform rent.men doesn't allow you to see all the stats - depending which version of the site you are on.

 

2 hours ago, AngusStevensxxx said:

2. Asking what city am I in.  This drives me crazy - when traveling the RM site LISTS THE DATES.

This is GREAT that you do that. But, I have also encountered providers who just list random cities or they are no longer in the city they're listed in. I can't TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I have texted a provider "HEY! WOW! I love your look. I can't believe you're in my city, _____. Would love to set up some time with you. What's your availability?" Provider texts back: "Not there." Me: Sends screenshot. Provider: "Yeah, I WAS there but left yesterday" or "Yeah, I was thinking of coming, but not enough inquiries."

So, as much as this "drives you crazy," you can see why a potential client would ask what city were you in, ESPECIALLY, if like me, they have gone through the above in the past. 

A nice reply (that you could save in a notes app) would be "Hey there. Thanks for the message. All cities / dates are listed in my profile and they are updated regularly. Can't wait to see if we can arrange a time. Looking forward to hearing from you." See, same message, different approach than being PUT OFF that someone wants to spend hundreds of dollars to spend time with you. 
 

The rest of your points, I agree with. 

 

Edited January 31, 2023 by Todd Jenkins

[coriolis888]

On 1/30/2023 at 1:46 AM, Jamie21 said:

It’s by experience. My rate and availability times are easily found - it’s on the website. If a potential client has looked there, seen what I’m about and most likely had all his basic questions answered by what’s written on there then he’s more likely to book. 

 

A large portion of rentmen clients are not in a country where rates are allowed. 

Therefore, for you, it is fine but for the mass majority, a client must ask the rate.  

[+ azdr0710]

welcome to the forum @AngusStevensxxx  .....it's the best forum of its kind, but please don't take it (or the forum members) too seriously around here!......looking forward to your participation here......

[AngusStevensxxx]

14 hours ago, coriolis888 said:

Lots of rules - 

not rules - just friendly advice! 😃 

[AngusStevensxxx]

13 hours ago, Todd Jenkins said:

@AngusStevensxxx, When you say you recieve 'MANY MANY MANY messages daily,' how many would you say you recieve? 10, 20, 100? 

 

Yesterday I received enquires via text from 13 people, and 8 others through the rentmen website - texting back and forth for varying amounts of time.  There was 3 bookings made as a result of this - one which never showed up, and then the other two cancelled within 30 minutes of their arrival time, after I had showered prepared for them. 

One message conversation was  "hi are you available" I replied within 3 minutes "hi! thanks for reaching out. yes I am available today." That was the end of the conversation no other message was sent.

However, most conversations are longer -  One client today had a long chat (over 57 text messages confirming address, availability, rates, a video chat to confirm I had sent real photos, discussion of wants/needs/desires for bookings, locations, payment types etc. this started at 10am and went off and on all day until This client then cancelled the booking 30 minutes before he was due to arrive and he said he was in another state and now not coming to NYC for another month. 

So that is roughly 20 enquires a day - which means I average I am chatting with roughly 140 people a week - MOST of whom have zero interest in making bookings, but instead get pleasure from simply engaging with providers. (This also does not include the amount of scammers that contact us DAILY as well.)

I think distinguishing who is genuine and who is not is probably the hardest part of this job. connecting with people and having sensual encounters are the easy and fun part. 

What happened to me today is not unusual - it is the norm, so I guess it makes us wary of who we can give our energy too until we meet, I know for sure the original poster would find that when clients and provider meet - every text after is fine! 

13 hours ago, Todd Jenkins said:

 

This is GREAT that you do that. But, I have also encountered providers who just list random cities or they are no longer in the city they're listed in. I can't TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I have texted a provider "HEY! WOW! I love your look. I can't believe you're in my city, _____. Would love to set up some time with you. What's your availability?" Provider texts back: "Not there." Me: Sends screenshot. Provider: "Yeah, I WAS there but left yesterday" or "Yeah, I was thinking of coming, but not enough inquiries."

So, as much as this "drives you crazy," you can see why a potential client would ask what city were you in, ESPECIALLY, if like me, they have gone through the above in the past. 

A nice reply (that you could save in a notes app) would be "Hey there. Thanks for the message. All cities / dates are listed in my profile and they are updated regularly. Can't wait to see if we can arrange a time. Looking forward to hearing from you." See, same message, different approach than being PUT OFF that someone wants to spend hundreds of dollars to spend time with you. 

yeah Rentmen has had an issue with this that has been effecting both provider and clients- and it sounds like the issue has 'driven you crazy too!'. I think when we list the dates of travel as say for eg 1/12 - 1/15, it goes by Hamburg time, not the local time that is in that particular city the provider is in, as the rentmen website is based from there.  So we set the travel dates , and then the site is not reflecting that date in  real time - adding to the amount of 'double questions' we receive I guess.  

I agree  the reply you have written is much much better than the one you were sent. 

Apparently the new version of the website will be more clear and not leave profiles listed up in cities once the provider has left that city. I'm sorry that the providers you have dealt with have been so short and rude with you. Hopefully this particular issue is rectified now the site has been updated to minis that! 

I probably shouldn't have answered in this thread - I had just been advised of this forum and wanted to make a few posts so no one uses my name has a handle - and my comments were meant as friendly advice to get better results for you guys (and us)!   

[Chancealot]

4 hours ago, AngusStevensxxx said:

 

Yesterday I received enquires via text from 13 people, and 8 others through the rentmen website - texting back and forth for varying amounts of time.  There was 3 bookings made as a result of this - one which never showed up, and then the other two cancelled within 30 minutes of their arrival time, after I had showered prepared for them. 

One message conversation was  "hi are you available" I replied within 3 minutes "hi! thanks for reaching out. yes I am available today." That was the end of the conversation no other message was sent.

However, most conversations are longer -  One client today had a long chat (over 57 text messages confirming address, availability, rates, a video chat to confirm I had sent real photos, discussion of wants/needs/desires for bookings, locations, payment types etc. this started at 10am and went off and on all day until This client then cancelled the booking 30 minutes before he was due to arrive and he said he was in another state and now not coming to NYC for another month. 

So that is roughly 20 enquires a day - which means I average I am chatting with roughly 140 people a week - MOST of whom have zero interest in making bookings, but instead get pleasure from simply engaging with providers. (This also does not include the amount of scammers that contact us DAILY as well.)

I think distinguishing who is genuine and who is not is probably the hardest part of this job. connecting with people and having sensual encounters are the easy and fun part. 

What happened to me today is not unusual - it is the norm, so I guess it makes us wary of who we can give our energy too until we meet, I know for sure the original poster would find that when clients and provider meet - every text after is fine! 

yeah Rentmen has had an issue with this that has been effecting both provider and clients- and it sounds like the issue has 'driven you crazy too!'. I think when we list the dates of travel as say for eg 1/12 - 1/15, it goes by Hamburg time, not the local time that is in that particular city the provider is in, as the rentmen website is based from there.  So we set the travel dates , and then the site is not reflecting that date in  real time - adding to the amount of 'double questions' we receive I guess.  

I agree  the reply you have written is much much better than the one you were sent. 

Apparently the new version of the website will be more clear and not leave profiles listed up in cities once the provider has left that city. I'm sorry that the providers you have dealt with have been so short and rude with you. Hopefully this particular issue is rectified now the site has been updated to minis that! 

I probably shouldn't have answered in this thread - I had just been advised of this forum and wanted to make a few posts so no one uses my name has a handle - and my comments were meant as friendly advice to get better results for you guys (and us)!   

A walk in your shoes so to speak 

thank you for the thoroughness and yes I agree that like in everyday life judging who you are dealing with - their sincerity and intentions - is critical - and difficult for most 

good luck to you ❤️

[INQUIRER1]

On 1/28/2023 at 7:57 AM, glutes said:

It is hard to get tone in text, buuuuuutt:

I have seen provider Grecos several times, and in my last text to arrange a meeting I asked if it was OK to call him.

His response, "I am not here to make friends. This is a job."

How about just being friendly?

That all said, I know he has recently been "released"  by his famous song writer and performer /  sugar daddy, he may be very angry. Now living in the Hollywood flats.

Wtf? Really rude.

[+ azdr0710]

welcome to the forum   @AngusStevensxxx

Edited February 17, 2023 by azdr0710

[+ Balthazar]

On 1/28/2023 at 7:15 AM, Jamie21 said:

Most of the basic questions that get asked are already answered in the advert or website. It gets quite tiring to answer the same questions by text. 
I get “hi what’s your rate?”….”when are you available?”. I get a lot of messages like that. So sometimes the answer “please see my website” might seem curt, but it’s really just to avoid lengthy exchanges by text.

Also, if the first question is “what’s your rate” the likelihood is it’s too expensive for him. You learn to avoid wasting too much time on that kind of thing. 

It's interesting to hear how you view "What's your rate?" Most rentmen profiles don't include rates. Unless he looks like Chris Bumstead, I'm not going to spend $500+ for an hour with a provider. I figured that opening with rates prevented wasting their time. There's no need to discuss details of a session if I'm unwilling to pay the provider's rates. I'm also okay with brief messages, such as "300 per hour" and don't consider them rude. 

[Guest leftbench23]

I’ve had some providers put more effort into the text exchanges with me than our actual sessions! 
 

 

[Jamie21]

4 hours ago, Balthazar said:

It's interesting to hear how you view "What's your rate?" Most rentmen profiles don't include rates. Unless he looks like Chris Bumstead, I'm not going to spend $500+ for an hour with a provider. I figured that opening with rates prevented wasting their time. There's no need to discuss details of a session if I'm unwilling to pay the provider's rates. I'm also okay with brief messages, such as "300 per hour" and don't consider them rude. 

Yes my perspective is that my rates are advertised. So I know that if someone opens with ‘what’s your rate?’ they haven’t really looked much at my profile. If that’s the case then they’re probably just browsing casually and their primary concern is cost. That’s not my market.