ESCORT DISCLOSES POSITIVE HIV STATUS ON PUBLIC FORUM BUT NOT TO CLIENTS

[robberbaron4u]

The escort has been in business for over a decade. He has disclosed on a public forum that he is HIV postive , and, he has been on an antiviral drug regiment for over a year. Apparently, there was a time when he was HIV positive and not on an antiviral drug; he was not given to regular "testing" for the virus, and, in his promotional literature he listed his HIV status as negative. A client of the escort became aware of the "situation" only when  a former  "boyfriend" of the escort filed a "public endangerment" complaint on the escort; upon filing of the complaint, the escort located to another state to avoid prosecution. The escort does not disclose his career as an "escort" on the referenced public forum. 

[LookingAround]

Ans you (meaning the consumer—not you personally) think this is uncommon?

Edited May 15, 2022 by LookingAround

[robberbaron4u]

Unfortunately, the reality of the thing is that, probably, it is not uncommon; a "caveat" of any "hire" for the consumer.  Of course, there are "providers" who are responsible, "health wise" in doing business; I have the acquaintance of an escort at Paris who is tested on a monthly basis by his own choice for STDs. 

[+ robear]

If HIV status is a dealbreaker for a client, or even means a change in requested services, such client must assume ALL providers are HIV+ and take steps accordingly. Self disclosure has never been reliable. To each his own where appetite for perceived risk is concerned, but in our age of PrEP and U=U, this kind of drama seems (happily) retro.

 

[robberbaron4u]

"Retro", perhaps, unless you, as a client, tests positive after a "hire". . .then the thing becomes, unhappily, more likely then not "remorse"; a "shadow" that is with you  24/7 for the balance of your lifetime,  

[Rudynate]

6 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

Unfortunately, the reality of the thing is that, probably, it is not uncommon; a "caveat" of any "hire" for the consumer.  Of course, there are "providers" who are responsible, "health wise" in doing business; I have the acquaintance of an escort at Paris who is tested on a monthly basis by his own choice for STDs. 

I think that's a fairly common practice among providers - at least that's what they say in their profiles.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I think everyone, escort or not, has the right to keep their HIV status private. I also think that being in the escort profession and lying about your HIV status, given the still predominant stigmatization, is understandable even though questionable. If I were a HIV+ escort, there is a good chance I would also lie about it.

If I were a client concerned about risk of HIV infection, I would not place the burden of my precautions on investigating the providers, but instead on using condoms and/or being on PrEP. 

[robberbaron4u]

2 minutes ago, José Soplanucas said:

I think everyone, escort or not, has the right to keep their HIV status private. I also think that being in the escort profession and lying about your HIV status, given the still predominant stigmatization, is understandable even though questionable. If I were a HIV+ escort, there is a good chance I would also lie about it.

If I were a client concerned about risk of HIV infection, I would not place the burden of my precautions on investigating the providers, but instead on using condoms and/or being on PrEP. 

 Hmmm. . . "caveat emptor"; unfortunately, with HIV there is no recourse to obtain a refund. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

21 minutes ago, José Soplanucas said:

I think everyone, escort or not, has the right to keep their HIV status private. I also think that being in the escort profession and lying about your HIV status, given the still predominant stigmatization, is understandable even though questionable. If I were a HIV+ escort, there is a good chance I would also lie about it.

If I were a client concerned about risk of HIV infection, I would not place the burden of my precautions on investigating the providers, but instead on using condoms and/or being on PrEP. 

This is the most realistic statement.

And it's why clients MUST ALWAYS TAKE CONTROL OF THEIR OWN HEALTH.  You cannot assume there's someone else out there who will have your best interests at heart.

If you're going to dabble in M4M sex, you have to understand the risks.  There's little excuse in this medical day-and-age as to why someone wouldn't have every tool at their disposal to remain HIV- and healthy.

Condoms, PrEP, Doxy, etc.  Clients have options.  Use any or all of them.

Edited May 15, 2022 by BenjaminNicholas

[robberbaron4u]

29 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

This is the most realistic statement.

And it's why clients MUST ALWAYS TAKE CONTROL OF THEIR OWN HEALTH.  You cannot assume there's someone else out there who will have your best interests at heart.

If you're going to dabble in M4M sex, you have to understand the risks.  There's little excuse in this medical day-and-age as to why someone wouldn't have every tool at their disposal to remain HIV- and healthy.

Condoms, PrEP, Doxy, etc.  Clients have options.  Use any or all of them.

I am in agreement with you that it is the "most realistic statement"; nonetheless, I doubt the statement affords any comfort for a client when his test comes back "positive". By the way, I have a dyed rabbit fur stole that I will happily sell to you as "mink". . .if the dye runs and it sheds we have no need to worry as to a complaint from you; after all, as a consumer, you should have known the "real" how and why and wheretofore of the thing and not relied upon my representation.  Escorting ia a business, not a charity, and, ideally, the customary rules of doing business are applicable; escorts, as providers, wail as a banshee in a lighting storm when they've been "taken" by a client; the client should have the same privilege without condemnation. 

[+ Lucky]

The other thing to consider is that a person with an undetectable viral HIV load is not going to infect anyone.

[+ José Soplanucas]

7 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

I doubt the statement affords any comfort for a client when his test comes back "positive"

So what? It is easier to blame an escort who could have potentially infected him, than taking responsibility for his own and obvious lack of precautions?

[robberbaron4u]

Just now, José Soplanucas said:

So what? It is easier to blame an escort who could have potentially infected him, than taking responsibility for his own and obvious lack of precautions?

 

Certainly. For the escort "I didn't know," "Nobody told me", "I didn't understand", "THE CLIENT DID IT" is a good defense.  By the way, based upon your premise, I have a dyed bunny fur stole which I can happily sell to you, without remorse,  as  genuine mink . . .

[robberbaron4u]

15 minutes ago, Lucky said:

The other thing to consider is that a person with an undetectable viral HIV load is not going to infect anyone.

And before the person was tested, discovered himself to be positive and began an anti-viral regiment to being his load down to "undetectable"? 

[+ José Soplanucas]

9 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

 

Certainly. For the escort "I didn't know," "Nobody told me", "I didn't understand", "THE CLIENT DID IT" is a good defense.  By the way, based upon your premise, I have a dyed bunny fur stole which I can happily sell to you, without remorse,  as  genuine mink . . .

You keep denying his personal responsibility. There is only one certain thing: if he got infected it is because he did not take all precautions. Ultimately, if the escort lied to him and if the escort was actually who infected him, still he made the decision to trust his word on this issue.

It is a normal human reaction: blaming others for your own mistakes.

[Quincy_7]

13 minutes ago, José Soplanucas said:

You keep denying his personal responsibility. There is only one certain thing: if he got infected it is because he did not take all precautions. Ultimately, if the escort lied to him and if the escort was actually who infected him, still he made the decision to trust his word on this issue.

It is a normal human reaction: blaming others for your own mistakes.

A client can't bareback without prep and be upset by the consequences. Either wrap up or go on prep.

[robberbaron4u]

9 minutes ago, José Soplanucas said:

You keep denying his personal responsibility. There is only one certain thing: if he got infected it is because he did not take all precautions. Ultimately, if the escort lied to him and if the escort was actually who infected him, still he made the decision to trust his word on this issue.

It is a normal human reaction: blaming others for your own mistakes.

Well...if the dye on the bunny fur runs and it begins to shed, don't blame me that it ain't real mink for I am blameless in the thing. 

[+ José Soplanucas]

2 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

Well...if the dye on the bunny fur runs and it begins to shed, don't blame me that it ain't real mink for I am blameless in the thing. 

You keep bringing that silly analogy. On one hand, if I am a shopper so stupid that I take mink for bunny based in the word of the seller, indeed I am to blame. On the other hand, it is a fact that you would be scamming me; it is not a fact that this escort is the one who infected your friend.

Your silly analogy is completely irrelevant.

[robberbaron4u]

38 minutes ago, José Soplanucas said:

You keep bringing that silly analogy. On one hand, if I am a shopper so stupid that I take mink for bunny based in the word of the seller, indeed I am to blame. On the other hand, it is a fact that you would be scamming me; it is not a fact that this escort is the one who infected your friend.

Your silly analogy is completely irrelevant.

You have stated, succinctly, my argument. Thank you.

[Kevin Slater]

2 hours ago, Lucky said:

The other thing to consider is that a person with an undetectable viral HIV load is not going to infect anyone.

This.  In fact, he's safer than others who believe themselves to be negative.

Kevin Slater

[robberbaron4u]

7 minutes ago, Kevin Slater said:

This.  In fact, he's safer than others who believe themselves to be negative.

Kevin Slater

After the fact, yes; before the fact, I think not...

[guy7777]

I always assume that any guys I hook up with can have HIV or any other STI. 

I always really appreciate if the guy tells me his status, but I feel it's up to me to protect myself.

There are always going to be men who don't disclose, lie, are in denial, or may not even know if they have a STI

 

[Guest]

6 hours ago, José Soplanucas said:

...On one hand, if I am a shopper so stupid that I take mink for bunny based in the word of the seller, indeed I am to blame...

If the seller represents a coat as mink when it's not, it's fraud. Committing fraud carries both criminal and civil consequences. A court will not accept the salesman's argument of "Well, he was stupid enough to believe it." In fact, at least in the US, the person committing fraud is liable for punitive damages in addition to actual damages. The fact that you believe the victim is to blame for believing the liar says much about you, but not about the realities in our society or legal systems. 

Of course, I know that lying is common among escorts, so I personally always assume an escort may be HIV positive. That being said, a liar is responsible for the consequences of his lies. If someone were to become infected as a result of trusting the liar, I believe the courts wouldn't take the position that it was the victim's fault for believing the liar. Nor is it the fault of the person whose bike was stolen that he didn't buy a good enough lock. Nor is it the rape victim's fault because she could have worn more modest clothing. The wrongdoer is always ultimately responsible, even though there are actions victims can take to lessen their chance of being casualties of the wrongdoer's misdeeds. 

[+ José Soplanucas]

9 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

I know that lying is common among escorts

Only among escorts?

[+ José Soplanucas]

11 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

he fact that you believe the victim is to blame for believing the liar says much about you, but not about the realities in our society or legal systems. 

That sounds harsh out of context, but in this case it is flattering. Criminalizing someone for lying about his HIV status is a monstrosity, just as criminalizing sex work. If you back and enforce those laws and are willing to report someone, well that is also very telling of who you are.

As usual, irresponsible clients who easily blame their own mistakes in stigmatized sex workers. Good for you.