Some of you may not believe me

[xyz48B]

3 hours ago, cany10011 said:

As long as one has fuck you money, none of this matters. 

This is the second time you’ve said more or less the same thing. What do you mean?

[+ Lucky]

The OP did not ask for advice. Why give it?

[LookingAround]

How do you manage?

[Rudynate]

19 hours ago, xyz48B said:

…but I tend to be a people pleaser in real life. My job is working with people 24/7 – whenever I receive the summons, even out of the office. It’s been exhausting the past few weeks as it seems I can’t really please anyone in leadership and the things I do above and beyond my “job description” are accepted as given and little-to-no appreciation seems to be shown for. Simple compliments are really nothing more than expected social pleasantries, and don’t really convey appreciation for things done above and beyond.

To be clear, I don’t do things for praise. But the feeling of being unappreciated and taken advantage of is getting exhausting.

Today, I get this text message from the president of the board: 

I am at a loss what her issue is or how I’m undermining her work. I always have said my approach is to make sure the president and I are in lockstep by the time we need to go public with something. That’s the best way to present a successful operation, when the CEO and President of the Board are in public agreement. We often disagree at first, but I am committed to making sure we agree publicly.

Since the new president has come on board, it’s been hard to do this. She complains about communication but won’t communicate effectively with me. When a few years ago there was a period without a permanent CEO, the board ran things. She was part of that. She has since then, since my coming on as CEO, said they managed just fine without a permanent CEO. It makes me feel superfluous.

I’m not looking for advice. I’m looking for folks who care…I try so damn hard and then I’m shit on. And I honestly don’t know what she’s talking about in that text…

She's insecure and feels threatened by the competence you bring to your job.

[+ nycman]

1 hour ago, Rudynate said:

She's insecure and feels threatened by the competence you bring to your job.

Now that’s funny!

[xyz48B]

1 hour ago, Rudynate said:

She's insecure and feels threatened by the competence you bring to your job.

I actually think there’s a degree of this going on. Especially in light of the remark about managing just fine without a permanent CEO

[BSR]

21 hours ago, xyz48B said:

…but I tend to be a people pleaser in real life. My job is working with people 24/7 – whenever I receive the summons, even out of the office. It’s been exhausting the past few weeks as it seems I can’t really please anyone in leadership and the things I do above and beyond my “job description” are accepted as given and little-to-no appreciation seems to be shown for. Simple compliments are really nothing more than expected social pleasantries, and don’t really convey appreciation for things done above and beyond.

To be clear, I don’t do things for praise. But the feeling of being unappreciated and taken advantage of is getting exhausting.

Today, I get this text message from the president of the board: 

I am at a loss what her issue is or how I’m undermining her work. I always have said my approach is to make sure the president and I are in lockstep by the time we need to go public with something. That’s the best way to present a successful operation, when the CEO and President of the Board are in public agreement. We often disagree at first, but I am committed to making sure we agree publicly.

Since the new president has come on board, it’s been hard to do this. She complains about communication but won’t communicate effectively with me. When a few years ago there was a period without a permanent CEO, the board ran things. She was part of that. She has since then, since my coming on as CEO, said they managed just fine without a permanent CEO. It makes me feel superfluous.

I’m not looking for advice. I’m looking for folks who care…I try so damn hard and then I’m shit on. And I honestly don’t know what she’s talking about in that text…

I can't comment on the entire situation but do feel I can comment on her text to you.  Yikes! That sounds like something a middle-schooler would say.  Not only is she an adult, but the president of a company??  If some wet-behind-the-ears 22yo working his first job after graduation sent me that text, I'd still take him to task for his immaturity.

[xyz48B]

You can bet that her choice of communication will come up when we discuss things. Also the day and time. And the ridiculous insistence not to respond. 

[+ FreshFluff]

The truth may be somewhere in between. She’s unprofessional and insecure, but she might also see your efforts to go beyond your job description as overreach. If you have a mentor, you might want to seek his counsel on the political battle ahead of you. 

[+ nycman]

14 hours ago, xyz48B said:

You can bet that her choice of communication will come up when we discuss things. Also the day and time. And the ridiculous insistence not to respond. 

[xyz48B]

We’re meeting today at 3:15. Should be grand time! 

[xyz48B]

Well…

The meeting didn't go well. Not as well as it should have. Long and short is that everything that I suspected upset her had…But she also chose to misinterpret my actions.

What's more, it sounds like she'll be seeing the current major project she committed to some months ago through to completion. And then she has to make some decisions. Which to me sounds like she's thinking of resigning.

Now…you might be thinking, "Let her resign." And that might be okay, but the reality is that it's a stratagem. She knows that I don't want resignations under my leadership, so it's actually a means to manipulate me…

I had this before at a different job when the president of the board and two other board members decided to oppose me no matter what. So I know how to play around with these types, but I hate it. Why can't things be direct?

[LookingAround]

1 hour ago, xyz48B said:

Well…

The meeting didn't go well. Not as well as it should have. Long and short is that everything that I suspected upset her had…But she also chose to misinterpret my actions.

What's more, it sounds like she'll be seeing the current major project she committed to some months ago through to completion. And then she has to make some decisions. Which to me sounds like she's thinking of resigning.

Now…you might be thinking, "Let her resign." And that might be okay, but the reality is that it's a stratagem. She knows that I don't want resignations under my leadership, so it's actually a means to manipulate me…

I had this before at a different job when the president of the board and two other board members decided to oppose me no matter what. So I know how to play around with these types, but I hate it. Why can't things be direct?

So we are seeing a pattern eh?

[xyz48B]

5 minutes ago, LookingAround said:

So we are seeing a pattern eh?

What are you saying? 

[+ The Big Guy]

I think you should continue to be very professional with her but if she threatens to resign I suggest you accept her resignation on the spot and nicely say ‘we are going to miss you’.  I think she is bluffing but if not, it sounds like your organization will be better off with out her.  

[+ nycman]

1 hour ago, xyz48B said:

What are you saying? 

[xyz48B]

3 hours ago, The Big Guy said:

I think you should continue to be very professional with her but if she threatens to resign I suggest you accept her resignation on the spot and nicely say ‘we are going to miss you’.  I think she is bluffing but if not, it sounds like your organization will be better off with out her.  

I will consider my way forward. I’m thinking of giving her everything she wants regarding relationship with her and seeing that it’s not as glamorous as she thinks. In effect, suspending my people pleasing inclination, at least toward her. But to be completely honest, I also don’t want to be spiteful. In the end, I’m a team player. I don’t want to be mean, but it would be easy to step back completely as she wants, be a figurehead, and watch bad things happen. Sadly, that would hugely detrimental to the whole operation, and a huge miscarriage of duty, to say nothing of responsibility, on my end. I will devise a way forward. The conversation today illuminated a lot for me to see what I’m dealing with. Some years ago, a supervisor told me it’s not the words people sing that you’ve got to listen to; it’s the music their singing to behind the words that tells you the pattern of what to expect next. There’s a lot of wisdom in that. 

[xyz48B]

If any of you continue following the unfolding drama, I found this out last night from another board member regarding the president…

She's taking early retirement from school because the new principal that they hired this year (of which she was part of the hiring team and over the moon excited about) has turned out to be someone she can't work with. Apparently the new principal is someone who doesn't "collaborate."

So for those who are suggesting that it's a pattern of behavior on my part, it sounds like maybe there's issues with her as well. If she's taking early retirement because she doesn't like her boss…

Edited February 8, 2022 by xyz48B

[+ Lucky]

No doubt we all wish her well on her retirement. Next subject.

[+ WilliamM]

20 minutes ago, xyz48B said:

If any of you continue following the unfolding drama, I found this out last night from another board member regarding the president…

She's taking early retirement from school because the new principal that they hired this year (of which she was part of the hiring team and over the moon excited about) has turned out to be someone she can't work with. Apparently the new principal is someone who doesn't "collaborate."

So for those who are suggesting that it's a pattern of behavior on my part, it sounds like maybe there's issues with her as well. If she's taking early retirement because she doesn't like her boss…

Principals are often disliked by teachers and students.

[cany10011]

So, the principal is the "president" and the OP is the CEO? I'm sorry can someone explain the reporting structure... is it a CEO of a school?

 

Edited February 8, 2022 by cany10011

[xyz48B]

@cany10011- Two different situations. I'm the CEO at a non-profit where she is the president of the board. She is having issues with me right now. On top of that, a member of the board shares with me yesterday that she (the president) is having issues at her work, a school, with the principal and is therefore taking early retirement. Hence she's having issues with leadership figures in two different major facets of her life.

[+ WilliamM]

6 minutes ago, xyz48B said:

@cany10011- Two different situations. I'm the CEO at a non-profit where she is the president of the board. She is having issues with me right now. On top of that, a member of the board shares with me yesterday that she (the president) is having issues at her work, a school, with the principal and is therefore taking early retirement. Hence she's having issues with leadership figures in two different major facets of her life.

Maybe, she will reconsider an early retirement from teaching. How much interaction can she possibly have with the new principal?  

[xyz48B]

3 minutes ago, WilliamM said:

Maybe, she will reconsider an early retirement from teaching. How much interaction can she possibly have with the new principal?  

No idea. To be honest, I don’t need to know. I have enough to be concerned about without her going off as a loose cannon here. When I heard she’s having issues at work coupled with me, it leads me to believe there’s likely more going on. Stressed people act up and out…

[cany10011]

4 hours ago, xyz48B said:

@cany10011- Two different situations. I'm the CEO at a non-profit where she is the president of the board. She is having issues with me right now. On top of that, a member of the board shares with me yesterday that she (the president) is having issues at her work, a school, with the principal and is therefore taking early retirement. Hence she's having issues with leadership figures in two different major facets of her life.

Isn‘t the CEO the head? I thought the managing director/ chair reports to the CEO?