How much of your life at the end of life would you sacrifice to continue to have orgasms

[+ purplekow]

I had a patient the other day diagnosed with prostate cancer.  There is every reason to believe the cancer is curable but there is a reasonable chance that he will not be able to have orgasms or obtain an erection after treatment.  I do not wish to discuss the ins and out of this man's diagnosis and treatment plan.  Rather, his concerns centers around continuing to have a vital sex life with erections and orgasms.  

He is 70 years old, he has a vigorous sex life for a man of seventy years, having at least 4 sexual encounters reaching orgasm each week.  He states that under the right circumstances, that number may double.  He is otherwise healthy and his expected average life expectance is about 15 years.  Assuming a mild decrease in orgasm frequency, he says he has not slowed down since 55, that would be about 3000 more orgasms, equivalent to a good week for Benjamin Nicholas.  He states he would rather live for 10 years without treatment, a reasonable expectancy, rather than give up 10 years worth of orgasms.  So, in theory,  he is willing to sacrifice 5 years of life for 10 years worth of orgasms.  

Realizing your mileage may differ regarding frequency and life expectancy, how much time would you be willing to forego at the end of life in order to continue to have orgasms at a reasonable rate for a man of whichever age you are at the time?

Edited October 28, 2021 by purplekow

[+ GoingGood]

I posted on prostate cancer one other time.  This is a tough topic because each situation is different.  In my case I could have safely delayed treatments because of my low Gleason score but elected radiation.  Not everyone has that option. Now I can say that even though I can still get an erection and usually orgasm, it is not the same.  I think the right question is “how long can I safely delay treatment?”   I now wish I would have delayed treatment and had continued my sex life as before - even if it was for a little while.  I know this is not directly responding to your question but I would delay treatment with consultation with my doc. 

[jeezifonly]

Maths!!
 

I think I would ask for a month or so before treatment. I’d have as much sex as I could cram into those 4-6 wks. Then take it out, along with some neck fat, while under…

We all live in hope of the elusive ultimate orgasm, don’t we? I have 45 years of a varied (I.e. normal) nutbusting history, and If I haven’t knowingly had it yet, I doubt it’s still out there. Click ruby slippers here.

I’m pretty sure I probably already had my best. Couldn’t give a time, place or company (if present) but odds are it involved trying something new. That’s so much work now. 4 wks is max I would have the energy to take it on.

Prostatectomy surest way to prevent spread, but I can see how younger men might wait and watch…

Edited October 29, 2021 by jeezifonly

[Guest]

When approached, US Civil War General William T. Sherman once said of the US Presidency " If nominated I will not run; if elected I will not serve." According to Wikipedia:

"General Sherman was proposed as a Republican candidate for the presidential election of 1884, but he declined as emphatically as possible, saying, "I will not accept if nominated and will not serve if elected." Such a categorical rejection of a candidacy is now referred to as a "Shermanesque statement"."

Well, when checking my PSA has been suggested, I've made the following Shermanesque statement: If my PSA is elevated, I won't consent to a prostate biopsy; if I have prostate cancer, I won't consent to prostate surgery. Orgasms are my raison d'être, so, speaking only for myself, of course, I'd rather blow my brains out with my .38 than live without my prostate. I suspect most men probably feel differently, but you asked for my personal response, and that's what mine is. 

[+ sniper]

Cancer treatment is rough and takes a lot out of you, and a 70 year old has reached the point where he sees some of his contemporaries living very feeble existences. I could certainly see his making the decision not to treat, especially given there's a nonzero chance something else takes him out before the cancer does at his age.

[Constantine]

Is he having all that action with his significant other or is he a hobbyist? 

[+ Cock Eyed Optimist]

Question:  In the above posts, are the posters using the word "orgasm" to be equivalent to "ejaculation"?  I have assumed that if one has a prostatectomy or prostate radiation treatment, one can still have an orgasm but no ejaculation.  

[Epigonos]

Cock Eyed Optimist, I believe you are correct.  I take 5MG of a generic for Proscar daily to decrease the size of my enlarged non-malignant prostrate.  My urologist tells me I will likely be on the drug for the rest of my life.  It in no way inhibits my orgasms but my ejaculation are limited to virtually nothing. The urinary problems that the Proscar solves FAR out weights giving up ejaculating. The fact that I can no longer bath in cum isn't slowing down my fun hiring in the slightest.  

Edited October 29, 2021 by Epigonos

[+ nycman]

Option A) Eternal Life, but never another orgasm.

Option B) One last orgasm, but a bullet to the head immediately following. 

I'd pick Option B, every time.

Does that answer the question? 

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Epigonos said:

Cock Eyed Optimist, I believe you are correct.  I take 5MG of a generic for Proscar daily to decrease the size of my enlarged non-malignant prostrate.  My urologist tells me I will likely be on the drug for the rest of my life....

Hmmm. Not necessarily. If you're not taking another medication for your prostate (such as Flomax), you could very safely stop the Proscar and see what happens, assuming you've taken it for at least 6 months. I had many patients who were able to do this successfully (though you may need to start it again at some  point). I assume your urologist has been following your PSA. Let's say it's gone from 4 to 2. That means your prostate has essentially halved in size. Why shouldn't you be able to stop the Proscar? It's not as if it's going to double in size in 2 weeks. If you have no symptoms at a PSA of 2, what's the point of lowering it further to 1? 

[+ Charlie]

My orgasms are such non-events nowadays that I don't think there is anything I would give up in order to continue having them. There are other things than orgasms that you could offer me which I might be willing to exchange for some time at the end of my life.

[Danny-Darko]

32 minutes ago, Charlie said:

My orgasms are such non-events nowadays that I don't think there is anything I would give up in order to continue having them. There are other things than orgasms that you could offer me which I might be willing to exchange for some time at the end of my life.

My thoughts exactly and I couldn't have said it better myself! 

[Luvmassage]

I think there is a bit of confusion between orgasm and ejaculation.  You can continue to have orgasms after removing the prostate.  I had my prostate removed and my orgasms are better than they were before.  There is something called Kegel exercises which they tell you to do after a radical prostatectomy.  It actually enhanced my orgasm in a way I never felt before.

Men dealing with prostate cancer have many factors to consider on whether to be treated and if so which treatment to pursue.  If you cannot give up ejaculations and are not worried about the potential spread of cancer then don't do anything.  However, if continuing to have orgasms is the most important thing you can still be treated for prostate cancer (at least with a radical prostatectomy) and enjoy orgasms and perhaps even more powerful ones.

 

 

[+ friendofsheila]

On 10/29/2021 at 11:33 PM, Luvmassage said:

I think there is a bit of confusion between orgasm and ejaculation.  You can continue to have orgasms after removing the prostate.  I had my prostate removed and my orgasms are better than they were before.  There is something called Kegel exercises which they tell you to do after a radical prostatectomy.  It actually enhanced my orgasm in a way I never felt before.

Men dealing with prostate cancer have many factors to consider on whether to be treated and if so which treatment to pursue.  If you cannot give up ejaculations and are not worried about the potential spread of cancer then don't do anything.  However, if continuing to have orgasms is the most important thing you can still be treated for prostate cancer (at least with a radical prostatectomy) and enjoy orgasms and perhaps even more powerful ones.

 

 

I always thought that orgasm and ejaculation happened at the same time for men. 

How did you learn to have them separately?
 

[Luvmassage]

It was not something I learned it simply occurred after my prostate was removed since I can no longer have an ejaculation, however, I can still have an orgasm so I have a dry orgasm.  

Those who still have a prostate can also have a dry orgasm, however, it involves pressing on the so called MDP (Million Dollar Point) which is also called the perinium.  It is the tube between the anus and the testicles.  It is my understanding if you push on this location when you are close to ejaculating it will stop the semen from coming out and you will have an intense climax with no ejaculation.

[coriolis888]

Most of the posts above are concerned with ejaculations and orgasms following prostate cancer diagnosis and treatments.   

I had a cousin who died from prostate cancer that metastasized to other parts of his body.  

Within a year of his being diagnosed, the cancer found its way to his bones and other organs.  

He died a hideously miserable and painful death.  

When he was first diagnosed, he had been advised by his urologists to take radiation and hormonal therapy to control the prostate cancer.  He was told a removal of his prostate was not necessary.  

Sorry to be negative but the disease of prostate cancer is not just about ejaculations and orgasms. 

My cousin's doctors kept him on heavy pain killers during the final two weeks of his life.   

Prostate cancer can be a terrible thing to experience.  Ejaculations and orgasms are of little concern when that disease is "aggressive" as was the case of my cousin.     

Edited November 22, 2021 by coriolis888

[Luv2play]

I was diagnosed with prostate cancer when I was 60 and opted to have my prostate removed, based on the level of my Gleason score. 14 years later I am cancer free and while no longer capable of ejaculating, I can still orgasm.

When one is 60, 15 years can seem like a long time but trust me, it goes quickly, especially when you are having a good time, which I am. I would hate to be fighting the terminal stages of cancer, which I might well have been doing at this point, had I just let things go.

[dutchal]

On 11/13/2021 at 7:35 PM, friendofsheila said:

I always thought that orgasm and ejaculation happened at the same time for men. 

How did you learn to have them separately?
 

In addition to Luvmassage's comments, this might be of interest to you:

 

[+ augustus]

I cannot believe anyone would sacrifice years off their lifespan on account of not being able have an orgasm!  Maybe losing limbs or eyesight or being bedridden but an orgasm ?!

[+ sync]

At my stage an intense orgasm would probably mean the end of life.

[Winky]

The problem with this question is the absolute nature of the question. Aside from some very good points made already (for example, it might not just be that you die earlier, but that you suffer for years before dying if the prostate cancer spreads), there are different treatments and many different outcomes and don't all necessarily involve giving up orgasms or a reduced sex life or satisfaction.

Studies show that radiation treatment, for example, results in fewer short term side effects (urinary incontinence, erectile disfunction) but increasing ones over time (as the scar tissue heals). Surgery (removal of the prostate) has a longer recovery, but with gains over time, often maxing out over the next six months to a year.

My own experience with surgery: 1. the worst side effects are immediate and then show rapid improvement (didn't love the catheter in for 2 weeks, although grateful it was inserted while I was still in surgery) and only used small, unobtrusive pee pads for another month. 2. The improvement starts fast and then slows down, which made me think I wouldn't fully recover, but somewhere between 6 months and 8 months out, I'm fully functioning (no urinary issues, full erections and satisfying climaxes... with the follow caveats).

There are mental adjustments to be made. Sex won't be the same, but that doesn't mean it's not as good. It's taking time to get my head around the lack of ejaculation. Cumming was always a sign of virility, a turn-on, and I was an impressive shooter (over my head... onto the pillow... with multiple ejaculations that strong. Now I have the same climax feeling, but nothing comes out. It's strange, anti-climactic, so to speak. Maybe some people would find this is a benefit (no clean-up; no question about spit or swallow). For me, it's a big mental adjustment.

It takes a little longer and more stimulation (physical and mental) to get fully hard. On the other hand, after I climax, my erection stays longer and I'm ready to go again much sooner. I don't feel drained, literally or figuratively. So, I feel hornier and harder right after. Huge plus.

For me, it wasn't a choice of longer life or better sex... I likely ended up with both, although both are a little different than they were. Certainly my gratitude for being cancer-free and not thinking about something that might be growing and spreading in my body is powerfully positive. Sexual confidence is still gaining, but shows every sign of being what it was before.

Having said all that, I'm 65, in excellent health otherwise, low BMI (6'0 165), fit and generally happy. And I live in a city with excellent hospitals, so the surgery was probably done by one of the best.

None of this is meant to replace medical advice or serious research. I just wanted to offer that, in my experience, the question isn't necessarily an either/or proposition.