Asian race play

[pubic_assistance]

18 hours ago, nycmassageme said:

I can get off on playing into those preconceptions, however it would be foolish for anyone to think that they apply to my real life.

Thank you for sharing.

And might I say...a beautiful example of self awareness.

A person's sexuality can often be a separate place to escape to where we explore feelings that we don't encounter in our daily lives.

 

[BetweenTheSheets]

18 hours ago, nycmassageme said:

Let me preface this response with a blanket statement: this is my own point-of-view as a cis-gendered, upper-middle class, gay, Asian-American man. Please don't infer that my opinions/preferences apply to anyone other than myself.

I have had sex that involved race-play of varying intensities with a few different sexual partners. My experiences were all positive, meaning I enjoyed myself, and I'm pretty sure that my partners did as well. For context, these were men with whom I'd had repeated sexual encounters, many of which did not have a racial component. There was an established relationship (platonic or romantic) with a high level of mutual respect and trust. I felt safe with these men, and they with me, so we were able to engage in this particular type of play without fear of offense or injury.

I can't speak to why other people enjoy this type of roleplay, or if it's problematic; I can only explain why I find it exciting. Like many people, I have dealt with some form of "just a preference" most of my adult life (side bar: being "really into blondes and redheads" is not fooling anyone). So, for me, it can be validating to be desired because I'm Asian, with the understanding that this usually comes with preconceptions. In a sexual context, I can get off on playing into those preconceptions, however it would be foolish for anyone to think that they apply to my real life.

Perhaps because I come from a nation where people performing "race play" figures deeply into  our national consciousness... where sex tourism runs rampant..... where the very possibility of a meaningful relationship between an Asian and a white/western person must overcome so many hurdles for it to be even possible

Perhaps because I am a young, Asian person who is often fetishized for NOT fitting into conventional stereotypes of the Asian man

Perhaps I need to bottle up my rage a bit (something we Asians are widely acknowledged to be SOOO good at,,,)

 

[pubic_assistance]

34 minutes ago, BetweenTheSheets said:

Perhaps I need to bottle up my rage a bit

Certain fetish play such as "race play" can actually help heal emotional wounds by facing your fear in the context of an exciting sexual encounter.  Fear intensifies orgasm and by regularly mixing sex with fear, the negative eventually gets associated with the positive.

Anyone who is skilled in BDSM is adept at using a person's fear to deliver a rewarding experience.

 

[BetweenTheSheets]

3 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Certain fetish play such as "race play" can actually help heal emotional wounds by facing your fear in the context of an exciting sexual encounter.  Fear intensifies orgasm and by regularly mixing sex with fear, the negative eventually gets associated with the positive.

Anyone who is skilled in BDSM is adept at using a person's fear to deliver a rewarding experience.

 

I honestly think you may have missed the point of my posting.... it is really NOT simply an individual problem, it is a collective's problem.

[RandyVue]

9 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Certain fetish play such as "race play" can actually help heal emotional wounds by facing your fear in the context of an exciting sexual encounter.  

 

Can you please share an example of this?

[+ nycman]

[pubic_assistance]

8 hours ago, BetweenTheSheets said:

I honestly think you may have missed the point of my posting..

I did not

[Mydavid]

On 10/6/2021 at 9:19 AM, NYMassageAddict said:

I don’t know what is crossing a line on here, especially in today’s climate, but while I’m a liberal and push for diversity and equity, I have a strong fetish for Asian guys who love to be talked to in a demeaning way sexually. 
 

anyone else? 

I wish I could meet more guys like you in my life. I am Asian, and I feel difficult to make friends since most guys aren't sexually into Asian guys. I was even refused by an escort when I told him I am Asian.😭 

[NYMassageAddict]

20 hours ago, Mydavid said:

I wish I could meet more guys like you in my life. I am Asian, and I feel difficult to make friends since most guys aren't sexually into Asian guys. I was even refused by an escort when I told him I am Asian.😭 

Are you just seeking someone who is into Asians or someone into the more taboo race play? I’d qualify for both as I am fine with a standard relationship but I also am open to more kinky talk if it’s requested. 

[BetweenTheSheets]

When someone thinks it's OK to call me "Boy", there is nothing good to say about the situation.

[+ nycman]

15 hours ago, BetweenTheSheets said:

When someone thinks it's OK to call me "Boy", there is nothing good to say about the situation.

Unfortunately, lots of people get triggered by specific words.

My advice?

It’s just a word, don’t give it the power to be anything more than that. 

[BetweenTheSheets]

21 minutes ago, nycman said:

Unfortunately, lots of people get triggered by specific words.

My advice?

It’s just a word, don’t give it the power to be anything more than that. 

i agree with you for the most part, but... it's not just a word: the word reflects the consciousness behind it and in this specific case, the gentleman (here) had a history of pretty nasty stuff

[rn901]

On 7/24/2022 at 12:25 PM, BetweenTheSheets said:

Perhaps because I come from a nation where people performing "race play" figures deeply into  our national consciousness... where sex tourism runs rampant..... where the very possibility of a meaningful relationship between an Asian and a white/western person must overcome so many hurdles for it to be even possible

Perhaps because I am a young, Asian person who is often fetishized for NOT fitting into conventional stereotypes of the Asian man

Perhaps I need to bottle up my rage a bit (something we Asians are widely acknowledged to be SOOO good at,,,)

 

You may have less rage if you minded your own business and respected the sexual autonomy of other consenting adults. Their personal private sex lives are not obligated to accommodate what offends you or doesn't offend you personally. No one has such a dictatorial right over the sex lives of other people. It's difficult to even fathom the level of entitlement it takes to think one does have such a right to deny such sexual agency in others. Yes, it is a collective rather than individual problem. It is a complete disregard for the sexual autonomy/freedom of others, the self-agency of others, the privacy of others and the boundaries of other people beyond oneself. I'll say it again- no one has the right to dictate what one consenting adult can or cannot do with another consenting adult in mutually enjoyable consensual sexual activity.

Also again, since you ignored this repeated point in this thread, somehow the rampant misogyny is okay in the BDSM scene but raceplay is not. If you condemn raceplay but have nothing to say about the constant reenactments of sexual violence or the daily stream of homophobic/misogynistic epithets in the scene then you are inconsistent and you are a hypocrite. You're just condemning what's more stigmatized and taboo at the current moment. At least Andrea Dworkin and Catharine A. MacKinnon were consistent in their obnoxious puritanical opposition to sexual freedom and self-autonomy. You are not. 

Edited August 31, 2022 by rn901

[rn901]

"If it offends me or makes me uncomfortable then it must be wrong" is not how we derive a thought-out sexual ethics in a free society. Bodily autonomy and consent are guiding principles. Anyone who argues otherwise is acting like a tyrannical child and should be pushed back against by other leftists who actually have read the decades long feminist debates on pornography/free speech and have thought these things out. The toxic atmosphere of contemporary politics has silenced intelligent progressive minded people who have been enabling this kind of nonsense for too long. The attacks on free speech have spilled over into attacks on sexual freedom and bodily autonomy. That's what this is. What will these attacks spill over into next if left unchecked and allowed to continue? Tyrants never stop. You might not be into this or that kink, but they will violate your boundaries and self-determination next if enabled enough. 

Edited September 8, 2022 by rn901

[pubic_assistance]

16 hours ago, rn901 said:

The toxic atmosphere of contemporary politics has silenced intelligent progressive minded people who have been enabling this kind of nonsense for too long.

Thank you ! 👍

[Marc in Calif]

On 8/12/2022 at 6:51 AM, BetweenTheSheets said:

i agree with you for the most part, but... it's not just a word: the word reflects the consciousness behind it and in this specific case, the gentleman (here) had a history of pretty nasty stuff

Has anyone else noticed that former member BetweenTheSheets joined these forums on July 6, 2/22, but hasn't posted since August 13, 2022? That was the day after he posted his final comment in this topic.

[pubic_assistance]

12 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

Sure, maybe it can be done in a non-offensive or edgy way

Correct.

And it's a way to confront fear of racial prejudice in an environment that delivers pleasure. Thus re-framing the feelings, allowing you to look at them from a different perspective without the heavy burden of fear.

[+ Lucky]

On 4/6/2023 at 1:41 PM, Marc in Calif said:

Has anyone else noticed that former member BetweenTheSheets joined these forums on July 6, 2/22, but hasn't posted since August 13, 2022? That was the day after he posted his final comment in this topic.

I noticed. I wish he had stayed as he has a lot to contribute.

@BetweenTheSheets

[rn901]

On 4/9/2023 at 8:29 PM, arnemgreeves said:

race play is just mainly for closet racists, and racial self-haters.

Sure, maybe it can be done in a non-offensive or edgy way. BUt i feel for the most part, it is done to mask bigotry, or by uncle Tom-ish people, or those with internal racial identification issues. 

 

are you also applying that logic to the transphobic, misogynistic and homophobic language in bdsm roleplay or only raceplay because it makes you personally uncomfortable and offended?  Reenacting rape and sexual violence in CNC A-okay too? Seems pretty inconsistent and hypocritical of you in addition to being pretty obnoxious telling people what they should and should not do in the privacy of their own bedrooms with other consenting adults. 

Edited April 28, 2023 by rn901

[Ethago]

I'm West African and have done race play with clients before. I'm pretty submissive and the aggression turns me on but I do feel like there are always lines crossed during these sorts of scenes. I've noticed a lot more push back and disdain from Black Americans regarding this type of play. 

[NYMassageAddict]

On 4/10/2023 at 9:48 AM, arnemgreeves said:

Or it's a way to mask prejudice, that people are too scared to openly express. Why is your view the correct view? Is there a reason? You do have a habit for projecting your views, and without seeing the wider context. 

I think if it doesn’t hurt someone, is between two consenting adults, it shouldn’t matter what motivates either party to partake. 
 

In today’s social media cancel culture, we do a lot of thought policing and I think it’s a bad policy. 

[marylander1940]

I'm glad I searched raceplay before starting a new thread and find this. 

It's certainly becoming a thing and some of my escort friends are asked about it more than ever before. I guess is a controlled way to be dominated and subjugated by someone hot and in a safe environment while getting the sexual attention you want. 

I'm an Irish-Catholic, I think my people have been mostly accepted now but I remember stories from older members of my family being denied the right to rent, employment, etc. because of their faith and being told that in their faces. Maybe one day I'll hire an escort to tell me I only eat potatoes, I'm a drunk, lazy good for nothing, etc. Just kidding...

[pubic_assistance]

14 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

I guess (it) is a controlled way to be dominated and subjugated by someone hot and in a safe environment while getting the sexual attention you want. 

"Race play" allows you to confront the fear of being disrespected for being an "other" while being used by a person of "superior" breeding. The dominant will use you / abuse you and remind you of your inferiority but subconsciously your mind will note the fullness of his cock and the explosion of ejaculate and know that in the end he was cherishing your beauty and the sexiness of the opportunity to unload inside you. Your mind discovers the rest was all a false show of egotistical social status roleplay. I have been told many times it's better than a year of psychotherapy for some people .

 

[marylander1940]

14 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

"Race play" allows you to confront the fear of being disrespected for being an "other" while being used by a person of "superior" breeding. The dominant will use you / abuse you and remind you of your inferiority but subconsciously your mind will note the fullness of his cock and the explosion of ejaculate and know that in the end he was cherishing your beauty and the sexiness of the opportunity to unload inside you. Your mind discovers the rest was all a false show of egotistical social status roleplay. I have been told many times it's better than a year of psychotherapy for some people .

 

I have a feeling you've done it... am I right?

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

I have a feeling you've done it... am I right?

MANY times.

It can be a very powerful connection for some people when it's done right.