What Makes you STOP Responding to Client's Messages?

[Jamie21]

9 hours ago, jetlow said:

Devils advocate here : How have you handled negative feedback after initial appointment ? And would that cause you to stop responding?

This might sound big headed but I’ve not had negative feedback. One client said he’d have liked a bit more of a particular thing (and he had asked for it at the start) so I guess that was fair enough. He didn’t book again but if he had I’d still have accepted the booking.  Feedback is good because I know what to change for next time. I like to hear what my clients think.

I always ask as they are getting dressed if they enjoyed it and I say if they want to book again I’m happy to adjust the session based on what they liked etc. I think that immediately after the session and face to face they’re unlikely to say much but it signals that they can send me a message afterwards about what they liked / didn’t like and what they want if they book again. 

I also keep a note of what they liked during the session, anything that worked really well etc so that if they book again I know what they’re into. Generally people won’t say because they’re embarrassed about talking about these things or they just don’t have the words to express it. So I find keeping a discreet note helps me to make their second visit better. Plus it helps me remember them. I’m bad at recognising faces but I remember their cock 😂. 

 

[jtwalker]

On 9/22/2021 at 9:15 PM, Luv2play said:

Your bad. Or you're bad. Whichever way it is, 15 minutes is a short time lapse. Maybe he's in the bathroom.

You don't want to be nagged.  I get how that could be a bad sign.  However, waiting is nerve wrecking for the clients, so how long should one wait before they just move on.

Obviously, if you take too long, the client should just book someone else instead.  What is too long?

[Alex93108]

@Jamie21 I just sent a provider in your city feedback and suggestions. Hope he takes it well . 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

15 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I’m bad at recognising faces but I remember their cock 😂. 

I need merch with this on it

Edited September 24, 2021 by Benjamin_Nicholas

[Shawn Monroe]

On 9/22/2021 at 9:15 PM, Luv2play said:

Your bad. Or you're bad. Whichever way it is, 15 minutes is a short time lapse. Maybe he's in the bathroom.

Or actively in an appointment. 

[marylander1940]

Endless texting... 

[Alex93108]

So here's an example - I texted a provider I had a bad experience with suggestions for improvement and - no response. i was extremely polite about it and perhaps honest and direct . I showed it to a few people to make sure I was not rude.

 

I think providers will stop texting once they know future bookings will not be forthcoming. 

Edited September 25, 2021 by jetlow

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

52 minutes ago, jetlow said:

So here's an example - I texted a provider I had a bad experience with suggestions for improvement and - no response. i was extremely polite about it and perhaps honest and direct . I showed it to a few people to make sure I was not rude.

 

I think providers will stop texting once they know future bookings will not be forthcoming. 

Did you follow this criticism up with the offer of another meeting if his issues improve?

Otherwise, it's no wonder you didn't get a reply.  

You said your piece, but if the lure of business wasn't attached, it probably came across to him as less than constructive.

[Alex93108]

1 hour ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

Did you follow this criticism up with the offer of another meeting if his issues improve?

Otherwise, it's no wonder you didn't get a reply.  

You said your piece, but if the lure of business wasn't attached, it probably came across to him as less than constructive.

I don't really want to hire him again  @Benjamin_Nicholas, would you? The appointment was over a week ago, and I still feel like shit from it.  He's got other issues. But he is a very beautiful, sweet boy.

I am inclined to give him another chance - but the prevailing wisdom amongst the daddy's is no.

I'm coming back to his city in a few months - well see.  I'll discuss this with my regular provider and see what he thinks, but I'm inclined to go with the prevailing wisdom of the daddy's in the deli - and they all told me no. 

i might say yes if he offered a discount - but not at 400-600 a session.  There are better providers out there with less problems. 

Edited September 25, 2021 by jetlow

[lonely_john]

10 hours ago, jetlow said:

I texted a provider I had a bad experience with suggestions for improvement and - no response.

Some don't give a f*ck about feedback.

[Alex93108]

7 minutes ago, lonely_john said:

Some don't give a f*ck about feedback.

This said provider opened his rent men account last summer , before vaccines . Something tells me he is one of the guys that started escorting when whatever job he was doing previously dried up and was hot enough to start working . Some people are not cut out for this work  He lives outside the US, not sure if he got any financial assistance ( doubt it ) 

My favorite provider in Brazil went through his entire savings and stopped taking clients . He’s planning a trip back to Europe as soon as Brazilians are allowed back in. 

He probably gets lots of business - and it’s a number game . Move on to the next one . If there is no business forthcoming expect no reply 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

On 9/25/2021 at 10:40 AM, jetlow said:

... I don't really want to hire him again...

... I am inclined to give him another chance...

Which one is it?

If it was a dud experience and he didn't respond to constructive criticism, you have your answer.

 

[Alex93108]

4 hours ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

Which one is it?

If it was a dud experience and he didn't respond to constructive criticism, you have your answer.

 

Well he is a slick fucker - he used what I sent him to redo his rentmen ad and incorporated what I told him in his new ad

( nice to know he is benefiting from this) 

Its confusing because he did thank me for the initial general feedback but not the detailed one I sent later . I tell you sex blurs the mind and heart 

Edited September 26, 2021 by jetlow

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 9/26/2021 at 3:32 PM, jetlow said:

Well he is a slick fucker - he used what I sent him to redo his rentmen ad and incorporated what I told him in his new ad

( nice to know he is benefiting from this) 

Its confusing because he did thank me for the initial general feedback but not the detailed one I sent later . I tell you sex blurs the mind and heart 

 

Well do you mind if I give YOU some "unsolicited" feedback? lol

It sounds like you have good intent, but you may be coming off like a jerk about it. Just by calling him a "slick fucker" in itself, demeans the sex worker. What was this suggestion really for? Was it to say you didn't have a good time, or was it to better him and see him be a bit more successful? Because if it's the latter, you accomplished your goal. He probably assessed the advice, though unwarranted, and is trying to take it in stride versus taking it as a jab. And if you gave him some initial feedback, why follow up with more feedback later? And then you're going to go and tell/ask your "regular" provider about him? What more do you want?

This reminds me of a client I met the other week. He was polite and fun, but he kind of went on and on about other escorts/massage guys he's hired. Including his partner, which he wanted to take a picture of me and send to him (I countered and gave him my biz card instead). I appreciate the comfort they find to talk about it, but at the end of the day: you don't really know this guy. You're not his father, or business manager, or advertising consultant. You're a client. If you're not trying to hire him again, don't berate him with advice...otherwise it'll just come off pushy and unappreciative. 

I think clients need to be mindful not to fall into a habit of being gossipy. It's okay to share and discuss a provider you're interested in, but some people really take it to a whole other level. Like one client in Kansas City annoyed me by talking about 3 other providers, and I've not even met him! And he's already not kept 1 of his appointment requests. Then he later tells me of an escort/porn guy who came to town, saying that he came by but didn't meet him. I didn't even bother responding to it, I just skirted the comment all together. This person who was in town had nothing to do with me or me meeting him, so why bring it up?

Stuff like that makes me not only stop responding, but all together blocking them and putting on the DND list. When someone starts purposely and willfully wasting my time, they lose their place as clients, and simply become nuisances. 

Edited September 28, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Guest]

On 9/24/2021 at 10:04 AM, jtwalker said:

What is too long?

48 hours. I'll die on this hill. 

[Alex93108]

@Jarrod_Uncut All good points. I guess i want to feel less shitty about the whole thing. The encounter left me disturbed for almost a week, which is the opposite of what an encounter should do. Talking about it here is part of my recovery from the bad appointment. 

The provider may have a chemsex drug problem and may not be cut out to do this line of work. I felt really sorry for him, and also guilty for hiring, because I felt like I was contributing to his misery ( though he was really happy when I paid him).  The sex itself was meh, but he was very attractive, hot and handsome.  The appointment turned into me counseling him ( again, opposite of what an encounter should be) 

I am going back to London in a few months. Maybe things got better? I don't know. This all depends if he got any new reviews and what they say, and whether on not his profiles are still alive when I back there in a few months.  It also depends on  what his responses are when I reach out, then I will decide. i respect everyones time.  I hinted to him that I may hire him when I am back ( didn't mention that previously) in my feedback.  He is already using what I told him in his RM ad, so I know he is already benefiting from my feedback.

 I just hope he doesn't OD on G, because it seems like he was headed in that direction.  @sjmuktop I think is UK based, and knows its very bad over there, and weeding out Chem dependent providers should be part of everyones protocol when hiring especially in the UK/EU, unless thats what you are looking for ( not me). 

This is the first serious bad appointment I have had.  The people I have hired up to now have been serious pros who take the art and profession of providing seriously and with passion so in many ways.  Part of my recovery also involves meeting my regular,, who will correct this bad experience for me mentally with a for sure great appointment.

 I now know that bad appointments are costly - I have to pay for the bad appointment and the great one to fix it.

Edited September 28, 2021 by jetlow

[+ Kufrol]

On 9/15/2021 at 5:39 PM, Kevin Slater said:

If they end a sentence with a preposition. Instant block.

Kevin Slater

To paraphrase Winston Churchill, "That is something up with which you will not put." 

 

Edited September 28, 2021 by Kufrol
punctuation and syntax errors

[sjmuktop]

7 hours ago, jetlow said:

@Jarrod_Uncut All good points. I guess i want to feel less shitty about the whole thing. The encounter left me disturbed for almost a week, which is the opposite of what an encounter should do. Talking about it here is part of my recovery from the bad appointment. 

The provider may have a chemsex drug problem and may not be cut out to do this line of work. I felt really sorry for him, and also guilty for hiring, because I felt like I was contributing to his misery ( though he was really happy when I paid him).  The sex itself was meh, but he was very attractive, hot and handsome.  The appointment turned into me counseling him ( again, opposite of what an encounter should be) 

I am going back to London in a few months. Maybe things got better? I don't know. This all depends if he got any new reviews and what they say, and whether on not his profiles are still alive when I back there in a few months.  It also depends on  what his responses are when I reach out, then I will decide. i respect everyones time.  I hinted to him that I may hire him when I am back ( didn't mention that previously) in my feedback.  He is already using what I told him in his RM ad, so I know he is already benefiting from my feedback.

 I just hope he doesn't OD on G, because it seems like he was headed in that direction.  @sjmuktop I think is UK based, and knows its very bad over there, and weeding out Chem dependent providers should be part of everyones protocol when hiring especially in the UK/EU, unless thats what you are looking for ( not me). 

This is the first serious bad appointment I have had.  The people I have hired up to now have been serious pros who take the art and profession of providing seriously and with passion so in many ways.  Part of my recovery also involves meeting my regular,, who will correct this bad experience for me mentally with a for sure great appointment.

 I now know that bad appointments are costly - I have to pay for the bad appointment and the great one to fix it.

@jetlow Yes, I am based in England and can confirm that there is a big chemsex problem within 'the gay world' here (particularly in London and Manchester). Many escorts are into chems - particularly G and also T (crystal meth). The first escort I ever hired died from an overdose of G. Very sad. I sometimes feel that I somehow contributed to his continued drug use having been one of his clients, giving him money that he no doubt used to buy more chems, so I can relate to how you feel @jetlow when you say you feel like you are contributing to this guy's misery.

Edited September 28, 2021 by sjmuktop

[Jarrod_Uncut]

15 hours ago, jetlow said:

@Jarrod_Uncut All good points. I guess i want to feel less shitty about the whole thing. The encounter left me disturbed for almost a week, which is the opposite of what an encounter should do. Talking about it here is part of my recovery from the bad appointment. 

The provider may have a chemsex drug problem and may not be cut out to do this line of work. I felt really sorry for him, and also guilty for hiring, because I felt like I was contributing to his misery ( though he was really happy when I paid him).  The sex itself was meh, but he was very attractive, hot and handsome.  The appointment turned into me counseling him ( again, opposite of what an encounter should be) 

I am going back to London in a few months. Maybe things got better? I don't know. This all depends if he got any new reviews and what they say, and whether on not his profiles are still alive when I back there in a few months.  It also depends on  what his responses are when I reach out, then I will decide. i respect everyones time.  I hinted to him that I may hire him when I am back ( didn't mention that previously) in my feedback.  He is already using what I told him in his RM ad, so I know he is already benefiting from my feedback.

 I just hope he doesn't OD on G, because it seems like he was headed in that direction.  @sjmuktop I think is UK based, and knows its very bad over there, and weeding out Chem dependent providers should be part of everyones protocol when hiring especially in the UK/EU, unless thats what you are looking for ( not me). 

This is the first serious bad appointment I have had.  The people I have hired up to now have been serious pros who take the art and profession of providing seriously and with passion so in many ways.  Part of my recovery also involves meeting my regular,, who will correct this bad experience for me mentally with a for sure great appointment.

 I now know that bad appointments are costly - I have to pay for the bad appointment and the great one to fix it.

Well that’s certainly different than your previous post about his issues. And yeah if he’s a junky, that’s more of an issue deeper than you can really take blame for. At the same time, giving him tidbits of info and mulling over it, just isn’t going to do much justice.

I don’t mess with or trust druggy guys under any circumstances. Even when it comes to sex, you might not be getting the real thing. I had sex with a fellow escort earlier this year, he was always aggressively horny and wanting me to fuck him. When we finally fucked, he wouldn’t return messages for a round 2. Couple weeks ago, my suspicions were confirmed: he’s in a relationship. Seems he’d fuck when he’s high, and probably not even remember it. 

Edited September 29, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jamie21]

I did a weekend break by the sea with a provider a couple of years ago. It wasn’t a business arrangement, I’m a provider too. We are friends and we both just wanted to get away for a bit, have some fun, do a bit of filming for our fans sites etc. It was fun but at the time he was on meth (inhaled) and it made him anxious and wasted time while he was taking it…ugh. He wasn’t happy and although we had a great time it would have been so much better had he been clean. 
Fortunately he’s since come off it and is doing well. He’s much happier with life now. 

[Alex93108]

@sjmuktop In an effort to help me understand this North London escort's predicament, i picked up  DavidSF 's book ( David Whichman - Every Grain of Sand) which was recently released off amazon.  It was a a little hard for me to read, especially the early chapters, because I had a much different upbringing..  He describes his journey. the  20 year addiction to Tina as an Escort in San Francisco, how he hit rock bottom and turned his life around.  For providers in a similar problem ( or if you know of friends struggling) I recommend picking it up if you are looking for a role model.  Also available on book on tape for people who don't like to read.

The sense I got was that this  escort in London did not want to take G or other stuff, but it was part of the job, and necessary to secure lucrative long, repeat appointments in London, and travel appointments to the continent etc, with the kind of clientele one finds in London that pays for those kind of engagements.  Its almost expected, according to what this kid told me. 

Is it possible to be a successful provider and decline these appointments?  I don't know.  I typically hire 2-3 hour appointments, but I imagine the escorts in London would much prefer overnights that start at £1000 or more, not a client like me who visits London a 3-5 times a year, and hires for maybe  2-3 hours.

So the lesson is : active screening of providers to see if they are druggies or high, because at best you will end up feeling lousy for a week or two, plus guilt as @sjmuktop and I have experienced. At worse, the provider could OD in your presence  as happened to Andrew Gilum, former candidate for Governor of Florida, or even die, in your presence. 

https://www.tallahassee.com/videos/news/2020/04/22/andrew-gillum-video-police-miami-beach-hotel-room/3006051001/

No one needs that kind of drama, stress or hassle. 

Edited September 30, 2021 by jetlow

[Jarrod_Uncut]

11 hours ago, jetlow said:

@sjmuktop In an effort to help me understand this North London escort's predicament, i picked up  DavidSF 's book ( David Whichman - Every Grain of Sand) which was recently released off amazon.  It was a a little hard for me to read, especially the early chapters, because I had a much different upbringing..  He describes his journey. the  20 year addiction to Tina as an Escort in San Francisco, how he hit rock bottom and turned his life around.  For providers in a similar problem ( or if you know of friends struggling) I recommend picking it up if you are looking for a role model.  Also available on book on tape for people who don't like to read.

The sense I got was that this  escort in London did not want to take G or other stuff, but it was part of the job, and necessary to secure lucrative long, repeat appointments in London, and travel appointments to the continent etc, with the kind of clientele one finds in London that pays for those kind of engagements.  Its almost expected, according to what this kid told me. 

Is it possible to be a successful provider and decline these appointments?  I don't know.  I typically hire 2-3 hour appointments, but I imagine the escorts in London would much prefer overnights that start at £1000 or more, not a client like me who visits London a 3-5 times a year, and hires for maybe  2-3 hours.

So the lesson is : active screening of providers to see if they are druggies or high, because at best you will end up feeling lousy for a week or two, plus guilt as @sjmuktop and I have experienced. At worse, the provider could OD in your presence  as happened to Andrew Gilum, former candidate for Governor of Florida, or even die, in your presence. 

https://www.tallahassee.com/videos/news/2020/04/22/andrew-gillum-video-police-miami-beach-hotel-room/3006051001/

No one needs that kind of drama, stress or hassle. 

I’m just trying to catch your drift, but you ask if being on party drugs is necessary to secure longer appointments? Definitely not. 
 

I personally have come across many clients who are open to longer sessions, without having to add party favs to the mix, on both sides. And even if they’re doing it, doesn’t mean I have to do it. Though…I’ve become less inclined to say, “I don’t care if you party, but I don’t” because that’s how weird situations arise. And I just don’t want to be a part of someone’s bad trip. 

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I’m just trying to catch your drift, but you ask if being on party drugs is necessary to secure longer appointments? Definitely not

There is a scene in London where clients want providers to use party drugs with them during the session. These are longer appointments. I guess if you’re easily influenced and mix with wrong people it can be easy to fall into (basically you get paid to party…you can see how that might sound appealing at first). Once you’re in that scene it’s almost impossible to escape. 
But yes it’s possible to have longer appointments here outside of that scene. I don’t do them (I’ve friends who do) because I don’t have time and it’s not my market anyway. I think London has everything and a regular supply of international visitors…I walk through the city and think “ah yes I saw x client at that hotel….and him at that hotel” 😂

[sjmuktop]

14 hours ago, jetlow said:

I typically hire 2-3 hour appointments, but I imagine the escorts in London would much prefer overnights that start at £1000 or more, not a client like me who visits London a 3-5 times a year, and hires for maybe  2-3 hours.

 

Most of my sessions with escorts are for just one hour, or sometimes 2 or 3. 

I don't really do overnights. In fact, I think I've only had 2 or 3 overnight sessions in the whole 15 years I've been hiring.

Most clients only book an hour or two max (if reviews on RentMen are anything to go by). But there are those who really love the longer and/or overnight sessions, and these tend to be the guys who are involved in the whole chemsex scene. As @Jamie21rightly says, this is a really big scene in London and there are plenty of escorts who are more than happy (and even prefer) to use chems while they are with clients. It is not uncommon for an escort to ask me, during our initial communication over WhatsApp prior to meeting, if I'm "into chems?".

The chemsex scene is HUGE in the London gay community/gay world, but I should add that it is not always problematic (though I should state that, as a non-user of chems, I am not defending chems). Many of the escorts who use chems only do so with clients who want them to do that, and are not addicted junkies who need the chems in order to have a good time. I actually think most of the escorts who do the chems will only do so if the client requests it and are not addicts. That said,  sadly the G and "Tina" addicts do exist, and I could tell you a few names on RentMen to avoid if you were ever in London and were looking to hire but wanted to avoid the druggies (but I won't do so on here).

 

 

Edited September 30, 2021 by sjmuktop

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, sjmuktop said:

Most of my sessions with escorts are for just one hour, or sometimes 2 or 3. 

I don't really do overnights. In fact, I think I've only had 2 or 3 overnight sessions in the whole 15 years I've been hiring.

Most clients only book an hour or two max (if reviews on RentMen are anything to go by). But there are those who really love the longer and/or overnight sessions, and these tend to be the guys who are involved in the whole chemsex scene. As @Jamie21rightly says, this is a really big scene in London and there are plenty of escorts who are more than happy (and even prefer) to use chems while they are with clients. It is not uncommon for an escort to ask me, during our initial communication over WhatsApp prior to meeting, if I'm "into chems?".

The chemsex scene is HUGE in the London gay community/gay world, but I should add that it is not always problematic (though I should state that, as a non-user of chems, I am not defending chems). Many of the escorts who use chems only do so with clients who want them to do that, and are not addicted junkies who need the chems in order to have a good time. I actually think most of the escorts who do the chems will only do so if the client requests it and are not addicts. That said,  sadly the G and "Tina" addicts do exist, and I could tell you a few names on RentMen to avoid if you were ever in London and were looking to hire but wanted to avoid the druggies (but I won't do so on here).

 

 

The “PnP” aka party and play scene (Chemsex just sounds like some sort of bioengineered sex lol) is big in just about every major gay scene in America too.