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Do you inform a client that you will be “dismissing” him?


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Going based on a disclaimer I seen at my dentists office on clients who cancel more than once or don’t pay the cancellation fee.

In my case, there’s a couple of clients who I have put on my blocked list this week. 1 was a previously met client, another had tried to book me previously twice. 
 

I just have an issue with some clients that they’ll do an appointment on the spot…when they want it, but anytime I try to schedule them for a convenient time, they flake or have an excuse why they can’t meet. Or worse, just no response at all.

I’m just so tired and developing zero tolerance for inconsiderate types. I had already told one regular client who dicked me around (and will regularly do it), that I will no longer be taking anymore bookings from him. But instead of me getting upset and arguing with them, I’m trying to just work more on blocking them. 
 

However, I wonder if it may be better to just inform them that I no longer want to do business with them, and to not contact me again at any point in the future…unless they are willing to reimburse me the full agreed upon fee for not following thru. But of course, this leads to arguments because a select few clients like to lie to themselves that they never made an appointment…when in fact, there was an expectation set that one was going to take place. Otherwise, why would I be feeling the least slighted over it?

Grateful for the good clients…But one thing I won’t hesitate to do if I forget to block them, is if they do come back around; whether a month or a year later, is tell them: last time you did something that I felt was inconsiderate, we need to have a chat about why this is the case, and make sure it doesn’t happen again. I keep all of my text conservations with clients, that way if I forget and they contact me 2 years later, I’ll be able to reference if they didn’t follow thru on plans that were agreed on. 

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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I just talked myself into a brilliant idea! I’m going to write my own client dismissal form. Let me know what y’all think:

Hey (insert name), it’s Jarrod. I was doing my weekly client log, and noticed you don’t seem interested. At this time, I must inform that I will no longer be accepting future booking requests from you. Unless you wish to reimburse me minimum (insert expense) for my time, your number will be blocked/deleted after 24 hours of this message.

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12 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I just talked myself into a brilliant idea! I’m going to write my own client dismissal form. Let me know what y’all think:

Hey (insert name), it’s Jarrod. I was doing my weekly client log, and noticed you don’t seem interested. At this time, I must inform that I will no longer be accepting future booking requests from you. Unless you wish to reimburse me minimum (insert expense) for my time, your number will be blocked/deleted after 24 hours of this message.

You are a nice guy.

Do not use your proposed notice to send to possible clients that flake. 

The notice could come back to haunt you in the future.  

"Silence is golden"

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It’s tempting sometimes to send a dismisssal message to a flake or no show. I’ve almost done it in the past when someone hasn’t showed up. But I didn’t press ‘send’ and then thought again and amended the message to say “hi xxx I was expecting you for your xx appointment today but you didn’t show up. I hope everything is ok. Cheers Jamie”.  

It happened again this week, a client booked a 2 hour session. I prepared and was ready for him but he didn’t show up. I always send a reminder message the day before their booking (if they booked days in advance) and he hadn’t responded to that so I suspected he wouldn’t show. it’s his loss.

There’s all sorts of reasons someone might not show, some excusable some not. For all I know he could have had an accident and be unable to reply. So I just send the “I hope you’re ok” message. If he’s had an accident or disaster then he’ll appreciate the message when he sees it and I hope he comes back another time. If he’s just not bothered to turn up or cancel then my message will I hope prick his conscience. Next time he tries to book I’ll require full payment up front. 

It may temporarily feel good to send the dismissal message but I think it’s not worth the bother and is better to keep the moral high ground. 

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7 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

It’s tempting sometimes to send a dismisssal message to a flake or no show. I’ve almost done it in the past when someone hasn’t showed up. But I didn’t press ‘send’ and then thought again and amended the message to say “hi xxx I was expecting you for your xx appointment today but you didn’t show up. I hope everything is ok. Cheers Jamie”.  

It happened again this week, a client booked a 2 hour session. I prepared and was ready for him but he didn’t show up. I always send a reminder message the day before their booking (if they booked days in advance) and he hadn’t responded to that so I suspected he wouldn’t show. it’s his loss.

There’s all sorts of reasons someone might not show, some excusable some not. For all I know he could have had an accident and be unable to reply. So I just send the “I hope you’re ok” message. If he’s had an accident or disaster then he’ll appreciate the message when he sees it and I hope he comes back another time. If he’s just not bothered to turn up or cancel then my message will I hope prick his conscience. Next time he tries to book I’ll require full payment up front. 

It may temporarily feel good to send the dismissal message but I think it’s not worth the bother and is better to keep the moral high ground. 

Unfortunately (and fortunately 😂) I’ve already sent dismissals to a couple of clients. One responded with a genuine apology and explanation, the other 2 as predicted: didn’t reply. Why would they? They didn’t reply previously so no expectation to do so later.

Part of the reason I’m doing it is to quit hanging onto prospects, thinking they’re going to do better the next time around. If they can’t do right the first couple of times, why should I leave the door open for more and more possibilities? 

I want to give them more chances, but the fact some of these guys don’t bother to respond…proves that they aren’t with the effort. If a guy doesn’t know that they set the expectation that there is a session arranged with a provider they contacted…I can’t help them. 

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When someone NCNS on an Incall appointment, or has me do an outcall to a fake appointment (like I take an Uber to the location and once I say I’ve arrived the “client” stops responding), I don’t bother to engage the “client” any further.  They are automatically disqualified from future bookings, tho.  Why don’t I bother?  Because a lot of people who flake and mess around with escorts with fake bookings are in it purely for the attention and drama.  I won’t give them the satisfaction.  Once it’s clear to me that they aren’t showing up, I’m never messaging them again.  Cold hard silence.  This is for new clients of course.  My regulars are so good to me that I would be super concerned if one of them NCNS or stopped responding once I reached their location.

I have told guys that I’m not willing to meet them very directly during the INQUIRY phase, based on not feeling that they are speaking to me in a respectful manner, or simply feeling like they require way too much hand-holding and emotional labor before they are willing to actually book an appointment.  As well as guys who seem flaky and unable to commit.  Unfortunately, many guys don’t like to take NO for an answer, and I’ve found that telling people I’m unwilling to consider their request because of X often just leads to them contacting me again and again from different phone numbers or handles, either to argue with me about why I won’t see them or to make fake bookings as revenge for me not accepting their real booking.  If I realize that’s what’s going on, I switch to the very boring, non-confrontational excuse of being fully booked and not having any room in my schedule to accommodate.  Even (especially) when they KNOW this is not true, it leaves them much less room to argue, and is often more effective at getting them to leave me alone.

I did once have a client who messed around with my fee.  Flew across the country to see him.  Service was delivered.  He didn’t pay in full.  Said he would pay me the rest at a later date.  And then didn’t.  Claimed he didn’t have *time* to send me the money, but meanwhile had booked a close friend of mine (another escort) for a session during the “time” he supposedly didn’t have to send me the money he owed me.  (MAKE IT MAKE SENSE?!) And then I had to really chase after him and semi threaten him to get him to pay up what he owed.  This guy kept trying to book me after that, feeling that he had made good on what he owed.  For YEARS I said absolutely not.  I left the country for a couple years.  I came back around for a tour.  He begged again for a second chance so I told him he would have to PRE-PAY the entire appointment in full, a month in advance, for me to agree.  Well he DID!  So I guess sometimes being clear about why you won’t see someone again and what they need to do to fix it can be helpful.

Edited by HoleTrainer
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9 hours ago, HoleTrainer said:

When someone NCNS on an Incall appointment, or has me do an outcall to a fake appointment (like I take an Uber to the location and once I say I’ve arrived the “client” stops responding), I don’t bother to engage the “client” any further.  They are automatically disqualified from future bookings, tho.  Why don’t I bother?  Because a lot of people who flake and mess around with escorts with fake bookings are in it purely for the attention and drama.  I won’t give them the satisfaction.  Once it’s clear to me that they aren’t showing up, I’m never messaging them again.  Cold hard silence.  This is for new clients of course.  My regulars are so good to me that I would be super concerned if one of them NCNS or stopped responding once I reached their location.

I have told guys that I’m not willing to meet them very directly during the INQUIRY phase, based on not feeling that they are speaking to me in a respectful manner, or simply feeling like they require way too much hand-holding and emotional labor before they are willing to actually book an appointment.  As well as guys who seem flaky and unable to commit.  Unfortunately, many guys don’t like to take NO for an answer, and I’ve found that telling people I’m unwilling to consider their request because of X often just leads to them contacting me again and again from different phone numbers or handles, either to argue with me about why I won’t see them or to make fake bookings as revenge for me not accepting their real booking.  If I realize that’s what’s going on, I switch to the very boring, non-confrontational excuse of being fully booked and not having any room in my schedule to accommodate.  Even (especially) when they KNOW this is not true, it leaves them much less room to argue, and is often more effective at getting them to leave me alone.

I did once have a client who messed around with my fee.  Flew across the country to see him.  Service was delivered.  He didn’t pay in full.  Said he would pay me the rest at a later date.  And then didn’t.  Claimed he didn’t have *time* to send me the money, but meanwhile had booked a close friend of mine (another escort) for a session during the “time” he supposedly didn’t have to send me the money he owed me.  (MAKE IT MAKE SENSE?!) And then I had to really chase after him and semi threaten him to get him to pay up what he owed.  This guy kept trying to book me after that, feeling that he had made good on what he owed.  For YEARS I said absolutely not.  I left the country for a couple years.  I came back around for a tour.  He begged again for a second chance so I told him he would have to PRE-PAY the entire appointment in full, a month in advance, for me to agree.  Well he DID!  So I guess sometimes being clear about why you won’t see someone again and what they need to do to fix it can be helpful.

Definitely valid points. Ditto with the part about guys doing it for attention and drama. Even though, it seems odd that they’d like the drama, considering many seem to get extreme defensive if I call them out. It’s almost like: they want to find reasons to fight with escorts/masseurs. And I believe it, 100%. Because if they didn’t, they would do the right thing to begin with. Why do something that’s going to possibly upset or make someone feel unimportant.
 

For a minute, I thought I would let go of dating and the gay scene and devote most of my sex and attention to clients. But now, I feel I have to revert back the opposite direction: Some clients can be great lovers or even friends. But like I told a client the other day who was impressed that I really seemed into it, there’s escorts out there who don’t take this seriously. And there’s also clients out here who don’t take us seriously. So you’re left with a bunch of people who aren’t taking anyone seriously.

At this point I’m ready to get back out there and start dating. But this may mean biz will have to take a back seat. That’s where it starts to get tricky. And seems far too many clients can’t seem to think much further than a few minutes in advance…

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On 7/30/2021 at 10:40 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Going based on a disclaimer I seen at my dentists office on clients who cancel more than once or don’t pay the cancellation fee.

In my case, there’s a couple of clients who I have put on my blocked list this week. 1 was a previously met client, another had tried to book me previously twice. 
 

I just have an issue with some clients that they’ll do an appointment on the spot…when they want it, but anytime I try to schedule them for a convenient time, they flake or have an excuse why they can’t meet. Or worse, just no response at all.

I’m just so tired and developing zero tolerance for inconsiderate types. I had already told one regular client who dicked me around (and will regularly do it), that I will no longer be taking anymore bookings from him. But instead of me getting upset and arguing with them, I’m trying to just work more on blocking them. 
 

However, I wonder if it may be better to just inform them that I no longer want to do business with them, and to not contact me again at any point in the future…unless they are willing to reimburse me the full agreed upon fee for not following thru. But of course, this leads to arguments because a select few clients like to lie to themselves that they never made an appointment…when in fact, there was an expectation set that one was going to take place. Otherwise, why would I be feeling the least slighted over it?

Grateful for the good clients…But one thing I won’t hesitate to do if I forget to block them, is if they do come back around; whether a month or a year later, is tell them: last time you did something that I felt was inconsiderate, we need to have a chat about why this is the case, and make sure it doesn’t happen again. I keep all of my text conservations with clients, that way if I forget and they contact me 2 years later, I’ll be able to reference if they didn’t follow thru on plans that were agreed on. 

I had seen a provider three times and enjoyed each experience. After #3 he sent me a polite text and said he didn’t think we were a good fit. I thought his approach was a good one. Ours was a client/provider relationship so I didn’t feel it necessary to ask why. His business decision. 

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49 minutes ago, StLouisOct said:

I had seen a provider three times and enjoyed each experience. After #3 he sent me a polite text and said he didn’t think we were a good fit. I thought his approach was a good one. Ours was a client/provider relationship so I didn’t feel it necessary to ask why. His business decision. 

I guess that was the right thing to do versus just blowing you off on subsequent appointment requests. 
 

I actually am considering sending one out to someone else, and probably should have. This guy has contacted me before last year. I’d send him follow ups to meet, and get no reply. This week, he contacts me out the blue again Monday. I’m out of town. I send a message back saying I missed his call, but noticed we’d tried to schedule previously and he didn’t follow up. And I specifically asked, are you ready to set aside time to schedule a visit this time.

I hear nothing back until 7 a.m. this morning (Thursday), saying sorry his schedule is crazy and asking if I can meet now. I understand if his schedule is crazy, but he contacted me Monday, and didn’t respond at all until this morning. What kind of common sense courtesy is that? I told him 99% of the time, I do not take short notice bookings. On top of that, he has no info on my rates, I have no info except a name from him or anything because it’s been awhile since he last contacted me. 
 

People like that are a pain to deal with, and need to be blocked. I’ll give him until the end of the day to reply, after that he’s going on the list. I won’t even bother with a dismissal letter because if I see a guy consistently being inconsiderate, they aren’t even decent enough of a person to make right of any situation. 

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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