Objectification?

[arnie]

I have not been having success getting what I am looking for from an escort, probably too subtle to get across how I want them to take charge. I get the feeling they do not know me well enough to push harder and I am able to hire rarely so it is not like I have had the chance to develop a relationship. Anyway I feel that I want to take charge more and be active in going after the vanilla things I want to do like instead of being ordered to suck them, just going for it and telling them to suck me.

 

At the same time I am sensitive that they are people and do not want them to feel like they are just pieces of meat lying there for me to perve over.

 

Am I overthinking this and/or is this part of being an escort and part of the usual encounters you guys have?

[+ JEC]

Definitely overthinking things. If this is a fantasy: "they are just pieces of meat lying there for me to perve over" ....it's fair game. Actually anything is fair game as long as it's consensual. Escorts are in business to provide a service to their clients and help them live a fantasy. If as a client you want to get what you want out of the experience, it is incumbent on you to clearly communicate what you want. And then do a little homework to be sure they will deliver. If you communicate nothing before or during the experience, your provider will be befuddled, feeling around in the dark as it were. Suggest you clearly communicate the scenario you are looking for as part of the selection/booking process, you will have fewer disappointments. Good luck PS this hobby IS objectification, that's the point so try not to fret about it.

[myophile]

I’m into muscle worship, and I look for providers who get off on being objectified in that way. Of course, muscle worship is an established “thing” with reasonably well defined parameters, so if I tell a provider that’s what I want, we both know what I mean, without me having to map it out. (With my regular guy we joke about it, and sometimes I’ll interrupt a steamy make-out session and ask him to let me objectify him a little—watch him pose and flex for me, etc.) You may have to go into a little more detail. But don’t hesitate. A good provider will appreciate the input, and you deserve to have your expectations met!

[+ Pensant]

That’s why I indulge in this hobby. I can always get a freebie; however, I want someone with whom I can freely engage in the kinks and role-play that captivate my imagination. Don’t be shy.

[+ newatthis]

A couple of things... When I was getting started at this and was befuddled both about what exactly I was looking for and how to communicate that, someone here suggested that I tell the escort (at hiring time) what kinds of fantasies I had. Second thing: find an experienced escort who knows how to read his clients and push them in interesting directions. Good luck!

[Jamie21]

Yes you probably are overthinking it. Be bold and ask for what you want when you book and again at the start of the session. Explain how you want to feel as well as what you want to happen if you’re struggling with scenarios. It’s then easier for the escort to come up with ideas (because they’ll usually have more experience than you) about activities to help you get into that feeling.

 

Don’t worry about making the escort like “a piece of meat”; that’s the job and no decent escort will be worried about being considered essentially a fuck toy. If you want to create the scenario where you treat them like that ask for it and they’ll be that for you. Whereas if you’d like them to be your loving boyfriend for the session that’s possible too. I’ve been both in the same session before for a client who liked the switch of vibe after a certain point. An escort is there to fulfill your desire and make your wishes into reality. If it’s something they’re not comfortable doing they’ll tell you when you’re discussing the booking.

[KeepItReal]

PS this hobby IS objectification, that's the point so try not to fret about it.

I actually quite like being objectified and being the object of desire. I've been told that I have a very attractive object to boot. That being said, I am clearly not very objective in this discussion! ??

[HotWhiteThirties]

Bring on the objectification!!! ???? I freely admit, I am equally attracted to an amazing intellect, but any escort who isn't expecting to be objectified is in the wrong business. And a nice ass is a great place to start! ?

[CalTec]

Here's an idea. Find a porn clip, send the provider the link and say, "I'm really into this, thoughts?" or something along those lines. Nothing gets across your fantasies better than seeing it played out and helps get the discussion going. Worst case, he's not into it and you save a session fee. Best case, you get to play out whatever you're into! ?

[marylander1940]

I have not been having success getting what I am looking for from an escort, probably too subtle to get across how I want them to take charge. I get the feeling they do not know me well enough to push harder and I am able to hire rarely so it is not like I have had the chance to develop a relationship. Anyway I feel that I want to take charge more and be active in going after the vanilla things I want to do like instead of being ordered to suck them, just going for it and telling them to suck me.

 

At the same time I am sensitive that they are people and do not want them to feel like they are just pieces of meat lying there for me to perve over.

 

Am I overthinking this and/or is this part of being an escort and part of the usual encounters you guys have?

 

You're paying for a service in a competitive market. Tell them (without being too explicit) that you like to be in charge, the good ones will get it and comply.

[RuffLeatherPig]

We are here to serve and fulfill desires. Even for me as a Dom it is really the client who is in charge. I am there to give what they want.

Always ask and I see if I can deliver!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Objectification can be very fucking sexy as long as a guy doesn't take it into being a disrespectful douche.

 

I've also had fun treating some of the gents I see like sex objects. They ask for it. I deliver. We both enjoy ourselves.

 

When two people agree on something, it's no longer problematic... But that talk needs to be had.

[Becket]

Well. Being treated like a sex object by you would be indeed something.   Just saying......😚

[+ DrownedBoy]

I've had some problem with this. I like providers to get "vocal" with me and repeat several phrases.

I have trouble finding providers who are willing or able to do this. One great retired bodybuilder simply said he couldn't act.

 

[Rudynate]

On 5/6/2021 at 9:00 AM, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

Objectification can be very fucking sexy as long as a guy doesn't take it into being a disrespectful douche.

 

I've also had fun treating some of the gents I see like sex objects. They ask for it. I deliver. We both enjoy ourselves.

 

When two people agree on something, it's no longer problematic... But that talk needs to be had.

i love to be treated like a plaything

[+ purplekow]

You are there to be sexually gratified.  He is there to give you that gratification and perhaps have some himself.  And then there is the cash for him, always gratifying to him.     So like any other purchase, in this case his time and expertise, you need to ask for the bells and whistles you want.  Or...you can simply say, to him, please go with my flow and then flow like a river.    You are paying to have a good time.  So have a good time.  Do not expect him to be a mindreader but he should be able to read your body, your vocal reactions and your intentions.  If he fails to do that, then just say, in your sultriest voice, turn that hot muscle ass around and sit on my face you fucking animal....if that is what you want. 

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Edited May 24, 2021 by purplekow

[+ purplekow]

On 5/6/2021 at 12:00 PM, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

Objectification can be very fucking sexy as long as a guy doesn't take it into being a disrespectful douche.

 

I've also had fun treating some of the gents I see like sex objects. They ask for it. I deliver. We both enjoy ourselves.

 

When two people agree on something, it's no longer problematic... But that talk needs to be had.

One of these days I need to have you be the subject of my objectification.   Not to mention the object of my subjugation.  

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

1 hour ago, purplekow said:

One of these days I need to have you be the subject of my objectification.   Not to mention the object of my subjugation.  

I'll use my best Barry White voice. 

... Or Betty White, depending on what cranks your yank.

[+ purplekow]

I am thinking Barry but I am considering Betty as Sue Ann Nivens lying on her vibrating bed and looking up at herself in the mirror on the ceiling and perhaps that may be the way to go