What's a question you absolutely hate being asked?

[Islesguy]

Would you walk up to a guy in a bar, and before even introducing yourself, just say to a complete stranger: “What are you looking for?”

 

Because that’s what guys regularly do online.

 

People “window shop” online, just like a shopper would in a store. No specific intention, but when they find that right item, they know it, and they purchase it.

 

Now imagine walking into a store, and as soon as you get in, the sales person is asking “what are you looking for?”

 

See how bad it comes off?

I absolutely hate when within minutes of walking into a store someone comes up to me and asks, "What are you looking for?" If I need help, I will find someone and ask at that point.

[Lazarus]

If I am a model.

[Guest]

If I am a model.

That is (1) a compliment, and (2) probably a come-on line... If anyone asked that of me at my age, I'd give him a hug. Something along those lines did occasionally come up when I was a young man, and I've been asked, out of the blue, if I'd consider being in a porn movie (once I was told I could just play the part of a stunt dick, if that was all I wanted). I found those comments very flattering, and certainly not offensive. Maybe you could view those comments as flattering, which they are, instead of feeling offended by such queries. Certainly it's not the questioner's intention to be offensive. Why look for malicious intent when none was meant?

Edited February 24, 2021 by Unicorn

[Guest]

I absolutely hate when within minutes of walking into a store someone comes up to me and asks, "What are you looking for?" If I need help, I will find someone and ask at that point.

A lot of you guys seem easily offended. The store employee is just trying to be helpful, and probably following the instructions of his supervisors. If I'm not ready for help (although I usually prefer to get help earlier rather than later), you could just say "Not at this time, thank you" (perhaps adding "maybe later" if you might need help later). I actually prefer going to stores where the employees are proactive in helping, rather than my having to chase around some employee when I need help. I've never felt offended by someone asking me for help.

[MikeBiDude]

A lot of you guys seem easily offended. The store employee is just trying to be helpful, and probably following the instructions of his supervisors. If I'm not ready for help (although I usually prefer to get help earlier rather than later), you could just say "Not at this time, thank you" (perhaps adding "maybe later" if you might need help later). I actually prefer going to stores where the employees are proactive in helping, rather than my having to chase around some employee when I need help. I've never felt offended by someone asking me for help.

I’m more of a “buyer” than a shopper, so yes I appreciate being asked if I need help!

[Guest]

To answer the OP: Is he your son?

 

To which I always answer (with a smile) No he’s my husband

 

And I watch them closely to see how they handle the information

With my prior mate, the lyin' Paraguayan, and now with "Diego," when dining out we do get "I'll need to see your son's ID for the wine".... Extra 1% tip if they ask to see mine! ? I hope it never has to get to "I'll need to see your grandson's ID..." ?

[Guest]

I also hate intrusive “introductory” questions in social settings by complete strangers:

 

“what do you do”?

“Where do you live?”

“where did you go to school?”.

I always lie...

I’ve always found people who ask these questions are trying to piece together an “idea”, of what kind of person you are, based on superficial factors that have nothing to do with depth, or character...

What exactly can you talk about if not that? The weather? Movies? Restaurants you like? Or do you believe your discussing restaurants somehow pigeon-holes you into some pre-conceived ideas? What a person does for a living is not a "superficial factor." An accountant will tend to have a different personality from an opera singer, though not necessarily. My man "Diego" is an art student, and he's great. I love artists. My family has a history of supporting the arts. Maybe the accountant also does art on the side or sings in a choir. I have friends in all sorts of fields.

I definitely don't judge people negatively by their work, living situation, or education. What I do judge people negatively on is their character, with honesty being the #1 factor for me. If I find someone's been lying to me, I become pretty eager to cut them out of my life. Have you really found that lying works for you in life? Usually it just works to piss people off (maybe that's your intention).

[Monarchy79]

What exactly can you talk about if not that? The weather? Movies? Restaurants you like? Or do you believe your discussing restaurants somehow pigeon-holes you into some pre-conceived ideas? What a person does for a living is not a "superficial factor." An accountant will tend to have a different personality from an opera singer, though not necessarily. My man "Diego" is an art student, and he's great. I love artists. My family has a history of supporting the arts. Maybe the accountant also does art on the side or sings in a choir. I have friends in all sorts of fields.

I definitely don't judge people negatively by their work, living situation, or education. What I do judge people negatively on is their character, with honesty being the #1 factor for me. If I find someone's been lying to me, I become pretty eager to cut them out of my life. Have you really found that lying works for you in life? Usually it just works to piss people off (maybe that's your intention).

Well....

I can hold a conversation with someone for the first time meeting them, and not asking them any of these questions. I allow things about a person to be revealed organically. I find that asking a battery of personal questions in an initial conversation is somewhat disingenuous, as many people use this as a way of evaluating a person’s “value”, “use”, or potential benefit.

 

In most social situations, I start conversations by either an observatory compliment or something else, but never a battery of questions.

Edited February 24, 2021 by Monarchy79

[Monarchy79]

A lot of you guys seem easily offended. The store employee is just trying to be helpful, and probably following the instructions of his supervisors. If I'm not ready for help (although I usually prefer to get help earlier rather than later), you could just say "Not at this time, thank you" (perhaps adding "maybe later" if you might need help later). I actually prefer going to stores where the employees are proactive in helping, rather than my having to chase around some employee when I need help. I've never felt offended by someone asking me for help.

 

I don’t think we’re offended, but we understand the principle behind many of these questions.

 

In a store shopping scenario, I’d prefer “How may I help you?”, rather than “What are you looking for?”.

The tone, intent, and connotation behind both questions are totally different.

[Guest]

... I find that asking a battery of personal questions in an initial conversation is somewhat disingenuous, as many people use this as a way of evaluating a person’s “value”, “use”, or potential benefit.

...

 

Well, those questions wouldn't be the first out of my mouth (more likely "How do you know <the host>?", and the like), but those are questions I'd expect pretty soon in the initial conversation. I don't determine a person's value, use or potential benefit by their occupations or living situation. I gather that by simple inspection, whether he be a construction worker:

 

Pool guy:

 

Doctor:

 

Or gardner/landscaper:

?

Edited February 25, 2021 by Unicorn

[Monarchy79]

Well, those questions wouldn't be the first out of my mouth (more likely "How do you know <the host>?", and the like), but those are questions I'd expect pretty soon in the initial conversation. I'd don't determine a person's value, use or potential benefit by their occupations or living situation. I gather that by simple inspection, whether he be a construction worker:

 

Pool guy:

 

Doctor:

 

Or gardner/landscaper:

?

 

Well Unicorn,

 

Guess what?

We’re having a very engaging conversation, and are able to see each other’s way of thinking, and we didn’t have to ask each other any of those questions.... ?

 

We didn’t need to define each other’s educational, career, or socio-economic “status”, to exchange ideas. The truth is that none of us don’t.

Edited February 24, 2021 by Monarchy79

[+ Charlie]

It seems to me that every checkout person in every supermarket I shop at asks, "Did you find everything you were looking for?" If I say no, the response is either "I don't think we carry that" or "It's in aisle X" (well, I already looked in aisle X, and I'm not going to go back now and look again). So I usually just say yes, even though it often isn't true.

[suckersnj]

What's a question you absolutely hate being asked?

I hate being asked how old I am by a total stranger.

[The_Impeccable_G]

So tell me about yourself? I hate being asked this on interviews.

Actually it is the best interview question. You know it is coming, you can prepare the answer and give a show presenting yourself. It is also the best question for the first dinner date.

[marylander1940]

Well, those questions wouldn't be the first out of my mouth (more likely "How do you know <the host>?", and the like), but those are questions I'd expect pretty soon in the initial conversation. I'd don't determine a person's value, use or potential benefit by their occupations or living situation. I gather that by simple inspection, whether he be a construction worker:

 

Pool guy:

 

Doctor:

 

Or gardner/landscaper:

?

 

For the record... most construction workers, pool boys, doctors and gardeners don't look like that.

 

I hate being asked how old I am by a total stranger.

 

you can always ask back: how old do you think I'm?

[Guest]

For the record... most construction workers, pool boys, doctors and gardeners don't look like that.

 

 

 

you can always ask back: how old do you think I'm?

Not that I get that question that often, but if I am asked that, "How old do you think I am?" is my immediate reflex answer. It's a somewhat rude question, and the response puts the spot on the questioner. I hired the pool man and the gardener/landscaper the previous owners of this house used, but if I hadn't, I might have gone for looks. As it happens, my landscaper's son often comes in, and he's quite handsome, though he always wears a mask, even outdoors ?. I would definitely not choose a construction worker based on looks (I do need to replace the retaining wall for my swimming pool), but if they happen to send some handsome men over, I might slip them some extra cash if they agree to work shirtless. I did slightly factor in good looks when selecting my dermatologist (though qualifications were the primary selecting criteria). I'm finally getting those skin cancers taken out when I come back from my "honeymoon" with "Diego" in 2.5 weeks.

[+ tassojunior]

my birthday, including the year, in public.

 

not only is it extremely rude but it poses security and privacy concerns as someone with your name and complete birthday can access all sorts of records.

[Guest]

It seems to me that every checkout person in every supermarket I shop at asks, "Did you find everything you were looking for?" ...

Yes, but I couldn't afford him...

[+ Hoover42]

I don't talk to people very often, so I can't think of anything I get asked so often I've decided I hate the question.

 

Most of my conversations are totally superficial.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I don't like being asked, "Can I have your autograph?"

 

I'm sure that I'm being mistaken for someone else, so what do I do? Decline and potentially damage someone else's reputation? Ask "and who do you think I am?" Scribble an illegible signature? Sign it Sam Fitzpatrick? There's just no way to win......

[Guest]

I don't like being asked, "Can I have your autograph?"

 

I'm sure that I'm being mistaken for someone else, so what do I do? Decline and potentially damage someone else's reputation? Ask "and who do you think I am?" Scribble an illegible signature? Sign it Sam Fitzpatrick? There's just no way to win......

You must have some idea of who you look like. Hasn't anyone told you "Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look like..."? You could simply reply "I think you may be confusing me with someone else. Who do you think I am?". If you don't know who you look like, you might learn something.

[Guest]

One question I don't mind being asked, when staring at a handsome dude, is "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer!". The reply, of course, is: "Hey, that's a great idea! Thanks a lot!" (takes out his cell phone).

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

You must have some idea of who you look like. Hasn't anyone told you "Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look like..."? You could simply reply "I think you may be confusing me with someone else. Who do you think I am?". If you don't know who you look like, you might learn something.

 

Unfortunately, the two celebrities I am most frequently told I look like have been deceased for several years. (On the positive, I have won a Halloween costume contest as one of them.)

[Islesguy]

A lot of you guys seem easily offended. The store employee is just trying to be helpful, and probably following the instructions of his supervisors. If I'm not ready for help (although I usually prefer to get help earlier rather than later), you could just say "Not at this time, thank you" (perhaps adding "maybe later" if you might need help later). I actually prefer going to stores where the employees are proactive in helping, rather than my having to chase around some employee when I need help. I've never felt offended by someone asking me for help.

When did I say I was ever rude to a store employee? I can hate being asked something without being rude to someone. I do understand what common courtesy is. Quite a leap you are taking.

[mike carey]

That is (1) a compliment, and (2) probably a come-on line... If anyone asked that of me at my age, I'd give him a hug.

I someone asked me that, I would ask them if they were taking the piss (in a tone of bemusement, not annoyance).

In a store shopping scenario, I’d prefer “How may I help you?”, rather than “What are you looking for?”.

I'm glad you said that, I would have made the comment if you hadn't (I guess I just did anyway). 'Is there something I can help you with?' also works. That invites you to tell them what you're looking for without potentially seeming to be asking for an explanation why you're there.