Recently had a theft - first time ever

[GTMike]

Of all the years I have had guys over, never had a theft. I have a "straight" guy that comes over every few weeks and I am his only client. At my house, he keeps a bottle of oil he prefers us to use and he keeps a dildo here he uses in the shower to loosen up with before our session. The last time he was here a few weeks ago, I noticed when he left I was missing a half-used bottle of Bath and Bodyworks Noir body wash. I certainly wouldn't take it to any other bathroom or do anything with it myself. I did see him have some clothes bundled up in his hands when he left but didn't think anything about it. What an odd thing to take. Do you think he just really liked it, or needed body wash at home? It actually was body wash another guy I see on the reg picked out when I took him shopping once. I don't think I ever explained how it went missing to him when he noticed it was missing.

 

The "straight" guy is coming over tonight. I'm inclined to not say anything at all as I don't really care about such a minor thing, and don't want to ruin the good thing I have going with him (and yes, he's paid well when he comes over). Usually, I shower afterwards with the guys. But I have two guys that prefer to shower alone (he's one) and I usually go to the livingroom and let them shower and dress in peace. Should I stay in the room? Should I mention it? Do I frisk him when he leaves? He knows if he needs anything

 

I feel your pain and dilemma. I had a similar situation with a long time SA dude as well that was/is a good situation. I'm not 100% sure but would put it in the 85% to 90% sure category that he lifted an expensive bottle of cologne after one meet up. I honestly think that particular evening however he feared and wasn't sure if I had been indicating that I wanted to end the arrangement completely (versus taking a small break which i had been contemplating). In any case in subsequent conversations i made it a point to mention a couple times subtly that i was missing a bottle of cologne without directly indicting or blaming him as again not 100% sure he did take it. But i did also then affirmatively decided to take a break for a few months. (Perhaps passive aggressive but it wasn't something dicky or out of the blue or vindictive). But i think he got the point and certainly in the end it wasn't worth it to lose a few months for that.

 

We're cool and picked up again after a bit as if nothing happened. I do although make sure in advance not to leave anything i really truly value laying around and easily accessible just in case. It eases my mind that i don't have to worry about anything including him feeling like I'm watching him like a hawk at any time or there's any over anxiety regarding a lack of trust.

[MikeBiDude]

All I know is that after a recent meet up with a guy in San Diego...I couldn’t find my blood pressure medicine after he showered and left? Did he grab a brown prescription container hoping for the best and he ended up with 10mg Enalapril tabs?

[+ keroscenefire]

Sorry about the theft..it feels so violating even when it's something minor. I used to drive Lyft and one of my passengers stole an ice scrapper from me. Such a stupid thing to steal but it felt bad that you willingly let someone in your car and they do that.

 

I think it might be worth having a conversation with the escort just to clear the air and let him know how you feel about what happened. It doesn't have to be a real big deal or accusatory. Something like, "I know you stole that bodywash last time you were here and that really is very violating to me that you would do that. It's not a big deal and I would still like to meet with you, but just wanted to let you know how I felt about that. In the future, I'd honestly be happy to give you something like that if you had just asked."

[Caliboy95]

Not quiet the same scenario but this reminds me of the many times people asked me for pens in school and never gave them back. It’s such a minor thing but it bothered me because I would often end up losing my favorite pens. Later I started carrying a bunch of old pens in case someone would ask for a pen during class.

 

If I might say, you should only say something if it’s something that truly bothers you. I would have laughed if I find my body wash missing from my bathroom after an encounter. However, should want to hide any valuables from now on.

[Luv2play]

Sorry about the theft..it feels so violating even when it's something minor. I used to drive Lyft and one of my passengers stole an ice scrapper from me. Such a stupid thing to steal but it felt bad that you willingly let someone in your car and they do that.

 

I think it might be worth having a conversation with the escort just to clear the air and let him know how you feel about what happened. It doesn't have to be a real big deal or accusatory. Something like, "I know you stole that bodywash last time you were here and that really is very violating to me that you would do that. It's not a big deal and I would still like to meet with you, but just wanted to let you know how I felt about that. In the future, I'd honestly be happy to give you something like that if you had just asked."

That comes across as accusatory to me. Just using the word “stole” implies a crime. To say that, impugning his character, and then saying, “not a big deal” is just compounding the accusation since by raising it at all, it is clearly a big deal.

 

I would not get all in a twist over a half empty bottle of toiletries. Now if he walked off with something or real value, like a piece of art, that would be a different kettle of fish.

[cany10011]

I once had an escort from DC who had "removed" a small piece of framed art on loan from a nearby gallery that was in my condo's lobby whilst the doorman was away from his station. The super quietly had a chat with me over the video footage showing that my "friend" had removed it. I was quite astonished and promptly wrote a cheque to the gallery as well as a small donation to the condo board for the inconvenience. Most costly escort hookup for sure.

 

I eventually cajoled him into sending back the artwork as I appealed to his artistic sensibility and mentioned that the artist was devastated that her work was stolen. It took 2 months of back and forth texts to get it back.

 

Nowadays I always have to mention (to um visitors) that video cameras are all over the building and elevators especially near the wall of rotating art that is on loan from nearby galleries.

Edited December 25, 2020 by cany10011

[+ Reisr30]

I understand that. I wasn't uncomfortable. I thought it was such a silly thing to take and I would have let him have it or more likely would have told him I would get him a fresh bottle.

 

Unless it was food from my refrigerator which I always think is fair game (except the russian caviar and the Crystal LoL - JK); I think it would also bother me for someone to take something from my house but then again I keep the extra soap bars in one of my bathroom closets and it wouldn't bother me if a guest took a new one...

 

Maybe ask him in a non accusatory way "hey I was looking for a bottle of body wash I had in the bathroom but haven't been able to find it. Did you happen to take it with you by mistake? No big deal if you did; if you liked it I'll get you one when I pick one up for myself. I've just been going nuts looking for it..."

[Monarchy79]

Theft is Theft.

Period.

Whether the item is of value to you (or not), is irrelevant.

 

Many of you are seeing this as a “material” issue, and are trivializing it, because it was the theft of a cheap bottle of shower gel.

 

I see this as a “character”, issue of the person who stole the bottle.

[down_to_business]

My two cents....Theft requires intent. We definitely cannot assume there was intent based on the story given.

[+ keroscenefire]

That comes across as accusatory to me. Just using the word “stole” implies a crime. To say that, impugning his character, and then saying, “not a big deal” is just compounding the accusation since by raising it at all, it is clearly a big deal.

 

I would not get all in a twist over a half empty bottle of toiletries. Now if he walked off with something or real value, like a piece of art, that would be a different kettle of fish.

 

Yeah I get what you are saying. To me, it is the violation that is problematic and in my opinion worth having a conversation. It takes trust to bring someone into your home and that trust is broken somewhat if the person takes something from you even if it doesn't have much value. I actually like what Guy suggested...giving him the shower gel as a gift. But even then I would say something like. Hey next time just ask me if you want to take something like that. Makes me feel weird when you don't. Lets him know the feelings you have about it at least.

[Luv2play]

I once had an escort from DC who had "removed" a small piece of framed art on loan from a nearby gallery that was in my condo's lobby whilst the doorman was away from his station. The super quietly had a chat with me over the video footage showing that my "friend" had removed it. I was quite astonished and promptly wrote a cheque to the gallery as well as a small donation to the condo board for the inconvenience. Most costly escort hookup for sure.

 

I eventually cajoled him into sending back the artwork as I appealed to his artistic sensibility and mentioned that the artist was devastated that her work was stolen. It took 2 months of back and forth texts to get it back.

 

Nowadays I always have to mention (to um visitors) that video cameras are all over the building and elevators especially near the wall of rotating art that is on loan from nearby galleries.

That’s quite the story. I’ve heard of expensive Persian carpets being stolen from condo lobbies, but never art.

[IndyGuy]

Stealing is a character issue. With that said, if the sex is good, I wouldn't mention it but you're now on notice so I wouldn't leave anything valuable in the bedroom.

 

Such a silly thing to steal - I agree with Azdr - buy him a couple bottles for a Christmas present and be done with it. While you're at it - upgrade your own bath products - Bath and Body Works stuff makes me cringe!

[+ Pensant]

While you're at it - upgrade your own bath products - Bath and Body Works stuff makes me cringe!

I’m embarrassed to say that I have some 6 year old Trader Joe’s shampoo and conditioner in one of my guest rooms!

[CalTec]

I once had an escort from DC who had "removed" a small piece of framed art on loan from a nearby gallery that was in my condo's lobby whilst the doorman was away from his station. The super quietly had a chat with me over the video footage showing that my "friend" had removed it. I was quite astonished and promptly wrote a cheque to the gallery as well as a small donation to the condo board for the inconvenience. Most costly escort hookup for sure.

 

I eventually cajoled him into sending back the artwork as I appealed to his artistic sensibility and mentioned that the artist was devastated that her work was stolen. It took 2 months of back and forth texts to get it back.

 

Nowadays I always have to mention (to um visitors) that video cameras are all over the building and elevators especially near the wall of rotating art that is on loan from nearby galleries.

? Like who does that?!? Crazy...

[CalTec]

I stole candy from one of my regulars front foyer...he found them later in the shower. I got the nickname "Campino ass" after that shower hahaha ?

[mike carey]

Did he 'steal' it, or was it his brand and seeing it there absent-mindedly thought he'd brought it with him? Perhaps unlikely, but impossible?

[Luv2play]

I have so many “stolen” (from hotels I have stayed in) little bottles of shampoo, conditioner, mouth wash and small soap bars in my main bathroom just so anyone using the bath can help themselves to them. Easy come, easy go.

[Leyte2019]

Against my better judgment, I will share what happened to me during my using days in the not so distant past with residual shame. An escort who came to my hotel room and supplied favors took advantage of my brief shower to steal cash and a debit card from my wallet. Served me right for leaving the wallet out in a conspicuous place while under the influence. I'm still working on letting it go- recovery and all that. However, I'd oblige per pm if forum members want a name and more context.

[+ AntonGraza]

Against my better judgment, I will share what happened to me during my using days in the not so distant past with residual shame. An escort who came to my hotel room and supplied favors took advantage of my brief shower to steal cash and a debit card from my wallet. Served me right for leaving the wallet out in a conspicuous place while under the influence. I'm still working on letting it go- recovery and all that. However, I'd oblige per pm if forum members want a name and more context.

Hate is a strong word, but I hate it when someone takes advantage of someone else, regardless if they are not using their best judgment.

You were violated (another strong word) and your are like most people, beating yourself up by in your memory by “ allowing” it to happen.

Thank you for sharing and being brave in letting us know this happened and your offer to protect others.

Also remember, you are not that same guy now. ?

[Leyte2019]

Hate is a strong word, but I hate it when someone takes advantage of someone else, regardless if they are not using their best judgment.

You were violated (another strong word) and your are like most people, beating yourself up by in your memory by “ allowing” it to happen.

Thank you for sharing and being brave in letting us know this happened and your offer to protect others.

Also remember, you are not that same guy now. ?

 

Thanks much. Very much a work in progress, but you're absolutely right.

[MidAndy]

I had the same story when a guy I used to hook up on a regular basis stole my well worn, almost falling apart flip flops. I am still uncertain why he did that. I tried to ask him but he denied that he took them. I think it is an instinctive, almost unconscious move. People get pretty excited when having sex, so that may be something he would not be able to explain why he did that and feel ashamed about.

[+ Lucky]

I picked up a guy, not an escort, once while visiting a D.C. bar. He had a car so drove us to my hotel. There we had absolute blow-out sex that was so much fun. Once done, he encouraged me to stay in the bed as he left. When he was gone, I checked my wallet, and sure enough my $19 was gone. Gosh, I thought. What a good price to pay for fabulous sex. (He had even bought me a beer at the bar!)

I had kept my $300 in a dresser drawer, so he didn't get that.

So I got a free beer, saved the taxi fare, had great sex, and a story to tell for years! All for $19. Was I robbed?

[+ FrankR]

I picked up a guy, not an escort, once while visiting a D.C. bar. He had a car so drove us to my hotel. There we had absolute blow-out sex that was so much fun. Once done, he encouraged me to stay in the bed as he left. When he was gone, I checked my wallet, and sure enough my $19 was gone. Gosh, I thought. What a good price to pay for fabulous sex. (He had even bought me a beer at the bar!)

I had kept my $300 in a dresser drawer, so he didn't get that.

So I got a free beer, saved the taxi fare, had great sex, and a story to tell for years! All for $19. Was I robbed?

Gas and valet parking doesnt come cheap! ?

[MidAndy]

If I were that guy I would leave you $20 bill on a dresser feeling bad that you have only $19.

[Bonddude007]

That’s not stealing.....that’s taking out the trash.

 

You should thank him.....and get real adult bath products.

 

Grin

 

You made me laugh for the first time since the brutal surgery