When an escort asks YOU how much

[dixietony]

I contacted a local escort to go to lunch. Just to eat and talk. I asked him what his rate would be for that. He replies asking me what I think. I give him my answer, which I thought was fair given it's lunch in a public place. His reply to my answer, "Well that's not very much at all." I decided not to reply back since his reply was rude. He could have countered with his own offer, which I asked for first.

[cany10011]

I don‘t know the number you offered, but in his estimation it was low. Remember their rates are for time. If lunch takes an hour, he should be offered his going rate or something similar. If it were generous enough i think he would have taken it. Once it becomes a series of counteroffers, the date would appear too transactional. I don‘t think as a client it would be a good base from which to start. I find it easier to invite the escort after meeting a few times. The ones I meet usually don‘t charge for meal time, but these are regulars who i see weekly and spend trips and birthdays together.

[dixietony]

I don‘t know the number you offered, but in his estimation it was a low offer. If it were generous enough i think he would have taken it. I find it easier to invite the escort after meeting a few times for play. The ones I met usually don‘t charge for meal time, but these are regulars who i see weekly and spend trips together.

 

Then he should have given me a counter offer or better yet, just told me what he wanted. I'm not going to offer the moon and stars. I just think this is a bad way to do business.

[cany10011]

When it re-opens, take me to Eleven Madison Park and I won‘t charge a penny!

Edited September 4, 2020 by cany10011

[John]

I don't like it when escorts asks how much I am willing to pay for any kind of first date. I think they should have a clear notion of what their time is worth and be willing to state it. If I know the escort, have seen him a number of times, and am proposing something a little different, then I will make an offer. But to contact a new provider and to ask for a straight-forward 1-hour meeting and to be asked "how much?" NO!

[former lurker]

I agree with the general sense of what most are saying, but think this is a somewhat gray area. The OP asked for a rate for a lunch date, not an hour of time which he could have used for a more traditional encounter or anything else. From the escort's perspective, the request would seem to imply the OP expected to pay less than what an hour of escort time would cost. As it's not the norm, the escort asked what the OP thought was a fair amount.

 

I've generally taken escorts to dinner, or ordered in, when I've had multihour or overnight meetings with them so the issue of paying a different price for time to meet for dinner doesn't arise. I did, once, take an escort to dinner. It was someone I'd seen a number of times. I paid him his hourly rate, and he expressed surprise. He had assumed I was treating him to the meal as I'd invited him, but not that I'd pay for his time. In retrospect, I should have broached the subject of his time when asking him to dinner. With a new person, I would expect to pay for his time. Otherwise, it might seem like I'm looking for a test run at a discount which wouldn't be fair to the escort. But I suppose it all depends on the two people involved.

[guru68]

Is it common for a provider to have a sort of "meet and greet" option available?

[big-n-tall]

Is it common for a provider to have a sort of "meet and greet" option available?

 

Some are willing. Others are not. The best thing to do is communicate with the provider to see if he’s willing or not to do a meet and greet and at what rate. Be forewarned that he might ask for the same amount as a more intimate meeting.

[dixietony]

I shoul

Some are willing. Others are not. The best thing to do is communicate with the provider to see if he’s willing or not to do a meet and greet and at what rate. Be forewarned that he might ask for the same amount as a more intimate meeting.

 

That was my issue. I specifically asked him "how nuch." But he wanted to.play games, so it'll be nothing.

 

The escort was a guy talked about in another thread that dealt with him charging high fees. Saint Xander. Of course, I only saw that thread after we had our communication. $500?? For Dayton, Ohio? Lol. You better be a visiting pro bodybuilder.

[guru68]

It makes me wonder how much research serious escorts do about rates. You'd ideally want to reach a point where you had a number of manageable (what would the world be) regular clients, but presumably like everything else that takes time to build.

[KrisParr]

A year ago, I was out of town on business in a location where one of my “to-do some time” bucket list guys lived. He had terrific reviews, but is expensive at least in my world. I wanted to be sure he really was “that good” so I asked him to dinner first. He said he preferred lunch and it would be $100. We met, had lunch (my treat, of course) and he was more than I could have imagined. I slipped him the hundred which he kindly accepted. So we scheduled a date for the following night. I bled the ATM prior, and it was an outstanding session as I had hoped. When I offered his compensation (in hundreds, mind you) he handed me back $100 of it along with a butt pinch and one last kiss. In a word: class.

[tenderloin]

As a small business person with an hourly rate, I have no right to be pissed off if I ask a client "what do you want to pay?" and they come back with a lowball offer. If price is an issue and I want the business, I can choose to offer a discount: "my normal rate is $250 per hour, but I will offer you a 20% discount for our introductory session." Once you invite negotiation, that's what you get: a negotiation.

[+ harey]

Seems like the OP dodged a bullet. Who would want to meet an escort with that kind of attitude?

I’ve gone to restaurants with providers who I really enjoyed as people and always paid their normal rate. Those meals and conversations were wonderful. I paid full rates and had a great experience for the same reason - top notch guys and mutual respect.

[former lurker]

Seems like the OP dodged a bullet. Who would want to meet an escort with that kind of attitude?

I’ve gone to restaurants with providers who I really enjoyed as people and always paid their normal rate. Those meals and conversations were wonderful. I paid full rates and had a great experience for the same reason - top notch guys and mutual respect.

 

Your approach makes more sense to me than what it sounds like the OP proposed -- taking someone to dinner after you already know each other, as opposed to as a stand-alone first meeting. To me, it would be awkward to ask a guy to set a different price to meet for dinner. Of course, the escort could have just said it's the same rate regardless of how the client chooses to spend the time.

[robberbaron4u]

With me, lunch is the interview to determine as to whether or not I will make the "hire"; I do give the escort the choice of his restaurant, he can order that which is his pleasure, and, of course, the "tab" is mine. I do not, however, pay for "time". I may be old and pitiful, but I ain't desperate for company at table. . .yet.

[cany10011]

With me, lunch is the interview to determine as to whether or not I will make the "hire"; I do give the escort the choice of his restaurant, he can order that which is his pleasure, and, of course, the "tab" is mine. I do not, however, pay for "time". I may be old and pitiful, but I ain't desperate for company at table. . .yet.

What information would you discern in a lunch interview that you couldn‘t through a phone call or texts that would determine compatability as a sex partner?

[KrisParr]

What information would you discern in a lunch interview that you couldn‘t through a phone call or texts that would determine compatability as a sex partner?

 

Great question. The few times that I’ve had lunch/dinner was all about chemistry. Every one that I’ve had always led to a date.

[Smurof]

It's all in your approach. If all you wanted to do was buy him a meal, either as others said pay his crazy high rate with to go food in a room, or more wisely instead, explain you want to treat him to breakfast, lunch or dinner at HIS eatery of choosing as well as the time, and you'd treat - 1 meal on the house from a fan seems like a pretty good deal.

[OrBlanc]

My policy for social hangouts with a provider is: If I'm eating by myself after a session/have no plans, I'll mention it and if the guy wants to join I'd obviously treat dinner, definitely a quid pro quo situation and obviously it's 100% up to them.

 

I've definitely met some guys that have specific social rates, which are obviously much cheaper than normal and they obviously expected everything would be paid for in terms of drinks and meals, but have never really had the need to use, specially now.

[dixietony]

Your approach makes more sense to me than what it sounds like the OP proposed -- taking someone to dinner after you already know each other, as opposed to as a stand-alone first meeting. To me, it would be awkward to ask a guy to set a different price to meet for dinner. Of course, the escort could have just said it's the same rate regardless of how the client chooses to spend the time.

 

Just to be clear, I had no idea what his rate was at all. We had never met. That's why I asked him first what his fee would be. He could have said anything. But no, he lobbed it back to me. When he gave what I thought was a fair price, he declined rather rudely.

[dixietony]

Seems like the OP dodged a bullet. Who would want to meet an escort with that kind of attitude?

I’ve gone to restaurants with providers who I really enjoyed as people and always paid their normal rate. Those meals and conversations were wonderful. I paid full rates and had a great experience for the same reason - top notch guys and mutual respect.

 

I do feel I dodged a bullet.

[John]

A year ago, I was out of town on business in a location where one of my “to-do some time” bucket list guys lived. He had terrific reviews, but is expensive at least in my world. I wanted to be sure he really was “that good” so I asked him to dinner first. He said he preferred lunch and it would be $100. We met, had lunch (my treat, of course) and he was more than I could have imagined. I slipped him the hundred which he kindly accepted. So we scheduled a date for the following night. I bled the ATM prior, and it was an outstanding session as I had hoped. When I offered his compensation (in hundreds, mind you) he handed me back $100 of it along with a butt pinch and one last kiss. In a word: class.

You should tell us who this one is so that we can all run to him.

[jawjateck]

This is common among newbies, who have no business model and spend no time thinking through any of this. And I'll try not to get sidetracked about their woeful math skills (e.g. "150/hr and 400/2 hrs"......really?). Sometimes, I suggest a number, it is graciously received and we have a good time. That newbie gets introduced to the biz by a respectful, easy-going client, and from my point of view, he's the one getting the good deal.

 

Other times, it goes no where, as in your case. Your cash has been preserved for a better deal down the road.

[Gymowner]

With me, lunch is the interview to determine as to whether or not I will make the "hire"; I do give the escort the choice of his restaurant, he can order that which is his pleasure, and, of course, the "tab" is mine. I do not, however, pay for "time". I may be old and pitiful, but I ain't desperate for company at table. . .yet.

Exactly!! I would pick up the tab of course, but I have never nor would I ever pay for just a persons time. I've had a wonderful colorful life. They should pay ME to hear my stories!

[Luv2play]

When I do shorter sessions, such as 1 or 2 hours, I will often offer the escort a lunch or dinner tacked on at the end, if the timing is appropriate. That is if the session starts at 11am or 6pm, for instance, I state up front what I am willing to pay for his time overall, including the dining option. As an example if the escort charges $300 an hour for his time, for 2 hours the rate would be $600, then I would offer $750 for 3 hours including the meal and any drinks, on me of course. They usually accept, I think because they need to eat around then anyway, and it gives them the opportunity to recharge their batteries, so to speak, if they wish to have another session later the same day.