How often is a compliment you give genuine ?

[marylander1940]

Just as an aside. I value all compliments for what they are worth. If the escort compliments me and gives me a discount on account of it, it is worth something, otherwise, just like any other compliment, it is worth what your ego says it is worth.

 

I'm surprise you don't include in your post a list of all the compliments you've received over the years.

 

I understand discount to regulars but not for compliments.

[Daverwr]

I once had a provider pay me a compliment and in my nervousness and insecurity I said, “yeah, well I’m paying you for that.” He looked me in the eye and said, “I wish you hadn’t said that.” I realized then that I should have taken his compliment graciously, at face value, and I made amends with him. I felt like we genuinely connected at that moment, and I’ve learned (I hope) a little more about taking compliments (although I find it hard in any setting). All that to say that the line between flattery and compliment gets fuzzy under any circumstance, and it may be best not to worry too much about it. Anymore, when it comes to providers, I appreciate the compliments, but I haven’t been with a guy who was an over-the-top flatterer, either.

This exact thing happened to me years ago. I tried but I don’t think we were able to make amends. It was an international travel arrangement so it’s impossible to find him again.

 

But, being self-conscious about everything related to me and my body and my sex, I’m forever questioning whether a complement is sincere. However, since the above experience I don’t verbalize it. I even question every moan and groan from the provider, thinking, “Is that real or just acting?”

[MscleLovr]

I even question every moan and groan from the provider, thinking, “Is that real or just acting?”

 

I don’t intend this to be a mean comment @Daverwr but it sounds as if you are overthinking or being very analytical. You need to be more in the moment if you are to enjoy what is happening to you.

 

I wonder if you’ve ever tried meditation? It’s great for relaxing you and calming all that mental noise and stress. It’s easy to practice and takes no more than 15-20 minutes a day when you are learning to meditate.

[+ DrownedBoy]

Honestly, I try not to think about it. I've had quite a few bfs I complimented on their body or techniques, but I didn't mean it. Especially as I get older.

[Rudynate]

This exact thing happened to me years ago. I tried but I don’t think we were able to make amends. It was an international travel arrangement so it’s impossible to find him again.

 

But, being self-conscious about everything related to me and my body and my sex, I’m forever questioning whether a complement is sincere. However, since the above experience I don’t verbalize it. I even question every moan and groan from the provider, thinking, “Is that real or just acting?”

 

When you hire, you get to take a vacation from your self-consciousness and low self-esteem and just enjoy being with a great looking man who's there to make you happy. Of course there's some staging and play-acting, but that's paid sex. When you watch a play or a movie, you don't sit there ruining the experience for yourself by constantly reminding yourself that it isn't real life and therefore sucks. It's the same here, its just that there's an audience of one with audience participation being expected and encouraged.

[+ purplekow]

I'm surprise you don't include in your post a list of all the compliments you've received over the years.

 

I understand discount to regulars but not for compliments.

I sent out a list of those, seems yours got lost in the mail.

[marylander1940]

I sent out a list of those, seems yours got lost in the mail.

 

Let me check my junk mail inbox. ?

[Islesguy]

Normally I am awful at accepting compliments. For some reason with escorts, I just accept them without considering if they are genuine or not.

[jeezifonly]

I speak only for myself, but I consider even lame compliments part of the transaction.

If the attributes being fictionalized in the moment were all true, I wouldn’t be paying to get laid, now would I? ?

[rvwnsd]

I think this is one of the most poignant, insightful and thought provoking questions I've ever seen of this board. Congratulations on a question well asked! And may I mention that I love your font?

 

Kevin Slater

Goddammit, Slater if we've told you once, we've told you a thousand times, you are supposed to use the

when you post stuff like that.

 

 

But seriously, asking whether compliments are sincere is a slippery slope and you are guaranteed to fall and slide face first into the mud and cinders. You are also guaranteed to get an answer, no matter what the answer is, that makes you feel bad about yourself (or about the people giving you compliments) and leaving you wonder whether the answer is disingenuous and/or mean-spirited.

 

My advice: take the compliment and appreciate it as well as the person who pays it to you. And that's not sarcasm.

[Bacon]

Oh my God. You mean all those escorts who told me I sucked cock really well might not have been sincere?

 

Honestly, I think an expressed compliment is no different than the other sounds and noises that might occur during a session. They are all part of the experience. To not provide them would seem to diminish the overall experience, no?

[+ poolboy48220]

One guy I hired asked me to come back the night after I'd hired him, no charge. That was a sincere compliment.

[xyz48B]

Once had an escort (well loved on this forum) shower me with excessive compliments and praise during our time together. Later he ghosted me when I was looking to see him again. So I’m going to say that his compliments weren’t real. They didn’t seem genuine in the moment, but I took that as part of the experience. I guess I didn’t realize how bad he felt our time together actually was until I tried to reach out again.

[orville]

CHECK my JUNK mail inbox. ?

I like what you did there ?

[orville]

Oh my God. You mean all those escorts who told me I sucked cock really well might not have been sincere?

Not trying to brag but I've received compliments from straight guys (not escorts) on my cock-sucking skills so I know I'm great at it. So when an escort tells me "You suck really well", I take the compliment gladly and return another one saying: "and you have a great cock" (then I shut up and get back to keep sucking) ?

[orville]

One guy I hired asked me to come back the night after I'd hired him, no charge. That was a sincere compliment.

Did you take on his offer?

[+ poolboy48220]

Yeah, and while I couldn't afford to give him what I'd paid him the previous night, I did give him something, $20 I think?

[xyz48B]

@poolboy48220 – I try to be decent toward my regular even when we’re not seeing each other. I find it works out well for us both.

[rvwnsd]

Not trying to brag but I've received compliments from straight guys (not escorts) on my cock-sucking skills so I know I'm great at it. So when an escort tells me "You suck really well", I take the compliment gladly and return another one saying: "and you have a great cock" (then I shut up and get back to keep sucking) ?

 

A straight guy once told me that I should charge for blowjobs. Told him to leave $100 in the basket by the front door.

@poolboy48220 – I try to be decent toward my regular even when we’re not seeing each other. I find it works out well for us both.

What is this "be[ing] decent toward my regular " you speak of? Are you trying to tell us that when you don't treat him as a specimen he doesn't treat you like a walking ATM?

 

Weird.

 

Whoops! forgot the

[orville]

Yeah, and while I couldn't afford to give him what I'd paid him the previous night, I did give him something, $20 I think?

You ch*ap wh*re! ? I know he was probably very much into you and that's why he offered no charge but I would have given $100, or $80, or a nice diner. Have you hired him again since, or did you become lovers? ?

[xyz48B]

What is this "be[ing] decent toward my regular " you speak of? Are you trying to tell us that when you don't treat him as a specimen he doesn't treat you like a walking ATM?

 

Weird.

 

Whoops! forgot the

Well...You took that the wrong way.

 

“Decent” is recognizing he doesn’t have to give me the time of day if I’m not comping him. So I try to “gift” him things from time to time, even when we’re not seeing each other. He also engages me when I text him out of the blue and when we’re together, I get a good rate and he goes above and beyond. So...No, he’s not a specimen and I’m not a walking ATM.

 

Boy – people can be crude, even when sarcastic.

[rvwnsd]

...Boy – people can be crude, even when sarcastic.

True, referring to an escort as being a "specimen" is crude. However, I'm not making up that term. "Specimen," "morsel," "boy," "piece of meat," and much, much worse are all terms that have been frequently used in the Forum to describe escorts. Members who have called out those who use such terms are often told to be less "politically correct." "Walking ATM" and "john" are but two of the terms used in the Forum to describe clients - and not by escorts. I wish I was being facetious and sarcastic here, but I'm not. People say these things and think it is perfectly OK.

 

To me, gifting things is being more than "decent." It is a very nice, unexpected thing to do. It sounds like the guy you do that for appreciates you and I bet he would still appreciate you even if you didn't get him gifts. Nice people tend to be nice to other nice people regardless the gifts they give.

[xyz48B]

Sex workers are still people...deserving of dignity. ??‍♂️

[+ poolboy48220]

You ch*ap wh*re! ? I know he was probably very much into you and that's why he offered no charge but I would have given $100, or $80, or a nice diner. Have you hired him again since, or did you become lovers? ?

At that point, I didn't have that much to give him. I hired him once or twice more but he moved out of state after that.

[orville]

At that point, I didn't have that much to give him. I hired him once or twice more but he moved out of state after that.

I'm glad you made the best of it. Just the fact that you repeated means he was well worthy and escorts like that are difficult to find. Congrats.