Fat Gay Men Aren’t Welcomed (At Pride)

[big dale]

Yep, fatty here! I’ll be honest, I go only to see the hot boys that have driven into the city to participate. Well, not only to view the boys, I also go to check out the food booths. I don’t care what they think. It reminds me that lifting weights is obviously bad for one’s personality.

If by the "hot boys" you mean the skinny/muscular, shirtless, white ones? Maybe you're part of the problem.

[big dale]

Many of the fat guys who make the complaint of being discriminated against, won’t tell you that they secretly hate other fat guys too.

100% THIS.

[big dale]

As a guy who falls more on the side of "fit" than "fat" but is absolutely not a muscle queen I have been amazed at how aggressively "fat" guys have pursued me. When turned off by their approach rather than their bodies, they are unable to see anything beyond body type/size and accuse me of hating fat guys. But all of my relationships have been with bigger guys. None of theirs have. I don't dislike you because you are fat, I dislike you because you are obnoxious and self-pitying and feel entitled to treat me like shit because I'm "skinny".

[+ sniper]

I have a straight friend who's pushing 50 and lamenting that he's forever single but he won't run a fucking comb through his hair or tuck in his damn shirt because "I shouldn't have to change who I am. She should like me for me." And the sad thing is, this glaring blind spot aside, he's great husband material. I always say he's ideal to drop into the middle of a relationship but terrible at the start. But he has a bug up his ass about something that's readily fixable and it has completely soured him on life. That's what I think of when I read that article.

 

This is a male phenomenon. There are gay men who do the same. You do not need to be an Adonis to find someone. But, you do need to know where your strengths lie and lead with them, and do what you can to shore up your weak spots.

 

Yes, prettier people don't have to try as hard. Welcome to the club. It's called everyone. We meet at the bar.

[xyz48B]

Wondering what “bigger” means when some guy says “I actually like bigger guys” or “All my relationships have been with bigger guys.” What exactly is “bigger?” Bigger than you? Bigger as in 250+lbs? 300+lbs?

 

Reading this thread, it seems the majority opinion is there is no problem, and fat gay men just need to suck it up and deal. Nothing needs to change in our community around body image and acceptance. We truly do welcome all. Mea culpa for thinking otherwise! ✅

[Quincy_7]

Are you talking gay relationships, or are you talking about fucking?

 

One time fucks or ongoing sexual arrangements.

[RealAvalon]

One time fucks or ongoing sexual arrangements.

Well of course those are going to be limited to sexual attraction. That's a myopic way to assess Pride, and the gay community in general.

 

Is your attendance at Pride celebrations about "who do I want to fuck, and who wants or doesn't want to fuck me"? That sounds like being trapped in a Grindr world. Pride and life as a gay man is much more than that, in my experience, although its way to corporate. Do we need that many real estate agents in the parade?

Edited June 29, 2020 by RealAvalon

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I don't give two shits about what most pride events have turned into.

 

It's now a vapid, boring, corporate-sponsored sideshow.

[+ keroscenefire]

I don't give two shits about what most pride events have turned into.

I always found the "Don't give two shits" phrase hilarious. Although I am sure there are some coprophiliacs who would love to take your two shits from you.

[RealAvalon]

I don't give two shits about what most pride events have turned into.

 

It's now a vapid, boring, corporate-sponsored sideshow.

I don't know, the elderly bare breasted 'dykes on bikes' still have a certain something something ...

[Monarchy79]

If by the "hot boys" you mean the skinny/muscular, shirtless, white ones? Maybe you're part of the problem.

Preach baby!!!!! Preach!!! ????????

[big dale]

Wondering what “bigger” means when some guy says “I actually like bigger guys” or “All my relationships have been with bigger guys.” What exactly is “bigger?” Bigger than you? Bigger as in 250+lbs? 300+lbs?

 

Reading this thread, it seems the majority opinion is there is no problem, and fat gay men just need to suck it up and deal. Nothing needs to change in our community around body image and acceptance. We truly do welcome all. Mea culpa for thinking otherwise! ✅

I have had relationships with guys who would be defined as bears, one was a "musclebear". I like guys who are beefy, maybe a belly, broad shoulders, tall, thick. Do you have a specific measurement for when it is OK to call someone bigger?

[RealAvalon]

Wondering what “bigger” means when some guy says “I actually like bigger guys” or “All my relationships have been with bigger guys.” What exactly is “bigger?” Bigger than you? Bigger as in 250+lbs? 300+lbs?

 

Reading this thread, it seems the majority opinion is there is no problem, and fat gay men just need to suck it up and deal. Nothing needs to change in our community around body image and acceptance. We truly do welcome all. Mea culpa for thinking otherwise! ✅

I thought the discussion was more about what are you looking for at Pride, are you looking for sex or are you looking for a sense of community?

Even if the community was 100% "welcoming," I know I wouldn't want to have sex with 100% of the men there.

[marylander1940]

Wondering what “bigger” means when some guy says “I actually like bigger guys” or “All my relationships have been with bigger guys.” What exactly is “bigger?” Bigger than you? Bigger as in 250+lbs? 300+lbs?

 

Reading this thread, it seems the majority opinion is there is no problem, and fat gay men just need to suck it up and deal. Nothing needs to change in our community around body image and acceptance. We truly do welcome all. Mea culpa for thinking otherwise! ✅

 

Actually majority of opinions say they also have a few extra pounds and have no problem going to a place where there's some eye candy like Pride. I'm not surprised some frequent posters have ignored this thread.

 

Easy solution:

 

Hang with the bears.

 

I know plenty of full-figured guys who have a blast at pride events and other gay-centered events and places. The bear community welcomes the big guys.

 

The only fat guys these days who have issues with “fitting in”, at pride events these days, are the ones chasing skinny twinks and “body girls”, who don’t want to be bothered with them.

 

Sometimes you have to ask yourself:

“Am I suffering from my own discriminating ideologies?”

 

“Am I secretly lusting for that gay archetype of the man with the perfect body, and now shaming him for “ignoring me”, because he, in fact, wants the same thing, I’m looking for?”

 

I just the honesty of this post! Unfortunately "teller of like it is" has been taken already ?

[rvwnsd]

Actually majority of opinions say they also have a few extra pounds and have no problem going to a place where there's some eye candy like Pride. I'm not surprised some frequent posters have ignored this thread....

Most have figured out that pissing into the wind is messy and not nearly as much fun as watersports.

 

Easy solution:

 

Hang with the bears.

 

I know plenty of full-figured guys who have a blast at pride events and other gay-centered events and places. The bear community welcomes the big guys.

 

The only fat guys these days who have issues with “fitting in”, at pride events these days, are the ones chasing skinny twinks and “body girls”, who don’t want to be bothered with them.

 

Sometimes you have to ask yourself:

“Am I suffering from my own discriminating ideologies?”

 

“Am I secretly lusting for that gay archetype of the man with the perfect body, and now shaming him for “ignoring me”, because he, in fact, wants the same thing, I’m looking for?”

 

 

Unfortunately "teller of like it is" has been taken already ?

There's plenty of "like it is" for more than one to tell.

[+ sniper]

I've been a wide range of weights over the years (between 195 and 330 at 6'3", with a broad enough frame that 195 really looks skinny, and there IS a bit of a sexual no-man's land between "could stand to lose a few pounds" and "fat" if you don't at least have a few pounds of muscle on the frame. But at each weight I had some people who seemed to find me irresistible and some people who found me repulsive. It's hard to deal with when I'm at a size I'm unhappy with.

[Guy Fawkes]

By chance stayed at the famous Roosevelt Hotel on Hollywood blvd while they were having one of their events. They were very welcoming.

 

Girth and Mirth: The Rise of the Fat Men’s Club

Mar 29, 2016

Scrolling around the internet today you will find hundreds of websites, organizations, and movements working hard to suppress the nastiness of “body shaming” and making people feel anything less than proud of their body regardless of size or shape. This sense of confidence in one’s appearance is a refreshing change for some who were brought up through various trends pushing the importance of being as slender as humanly possible, regardless of health risks. While body positivity is seeing a huge spike in popularity, it is not the first time groups have celebrated themselves for being a tad bit bigger than society saw fit and in the years leading up to and including the early 20th century being proud of your weight might also mean you knew a secret handshake and had an invite to the party of the year.

[+ WilliamM]

I don't have a few extra pounds. Attended years ago, greatly enjoyed, but not interested in going with just one or two others.

[Rudynate]

On 6/28/2020 at 8:05 PM, xyz48B said:

Thanks...if I had a dollar for every time someone made other people’s myopic intolerance into my problem to fix by going to the gym, I could get six tummy tucks and ass implants…

What is this problem that no one seems to understand?

[xyz48B]

50 minutes ago, Rudynate said:

What is this problem that no one seems to understand?

I haven’t interacted with this thread in over a year. Although my basic premise that there is sizist discrimination and prejudice rampant in the gay community – especially the gays. It’s much less a problem for lesbians. 

Edited February 7, 2022 by xyz48B

[+ purplekow]

18 minutes ago, xyz48B said:

I haven’t interacted with this thread in over a year. Although my basic premise that there is sizist discrimination and prejudice rampant in the gay community – especially the gays. It’s much less a problem for lesbians. 

This is not a news flash.  The closer to an ideal body type you are the more attractive most will find you.  That said, I was at the Palm Springs event and was hit on very strongly by a very nice looking significantly younger and fit salesman at one of the shops.  As I checked out he asked to kiss me and after a brief make out session he asked for my hotel.  I politely declined but said I would meet him later at a neutral location.  We had a pleasant afternoon romp.  So even fat old guys can get lucky.  If you are a fat guy, you can try to change that about yourself.  But in the meanwhile, hone other attributes which have the ability to make you the belle of the balls.  

[xyz48B]

2 minutes ago, purplekow said:

belle of the balls

This made me chuckle. 🤭 

[+ WilliamM]

I agree with @purplekow who wrote "this is not a news flash."

I am totally bored with going to the gym now at age seventy eight.

But, I am not bored with walking near the Rocky Statue and boathouse row and the river in Philadelphia, even in the Winter.

Great to meet individuals and couples, especially in the Summer when tourists are here  from Europe, the former Yugoslavia, Asia, South America and Africa.

[xyz48B]

I know the gym is exhilarating for some. My sister can’t wait for her gym time every day. I look at her and say to her, “Why are you going to the gym? You’re done!” 😂 She’s one of the fittest people I know. Has a great diet. Sleeps like she’s supposed to. Yet she has high blood pressure. Borderline cholesterol. Even her teeth are issues. Me on the other hand, I can’t stand the gym. I eat what some would say is a poor diet. And I don’t have any of the health issues my sister does. Even my teeth are great. The only thing that’s “wrong” is my weight and all the social problems that come with that and then the associated psychological issues associated with the social. Oh, and buying clothing can be a chore.

And it’s not just fat folks who don’t like the gym. A good friend of mine maybe tips the scales at 110. She hates the gym. She also eats like a fucking horse and I envy her so bad. But life isn’t fair. She is one of the laziest people I know…with one of the biggest appetites…

[+ WilliamM]

I don't hate the gym, just much rather be outside and luckily don't have a weight problem.

So I skip all the "hit the gym"  Comments