Fat Gay Men Aren’t Welcomed (At Pride)

[xyz48B]

https://mensvariety.com/gay-fat-pride-lgbt-skipping/

 

This is as true as the sun rising in the east.

[+ purplekow]

Listen, you may feel unwelcome but I say, if you want to go, grab a chair, a sturdy one and sit your fat ass down in the middle of the party. If you hear one word about fat, or old or ugly, give them one big fat old ugly middle finger and advise them to rotate on it. I would not sacrifice my personal enjoyment just to mollify an ignorant individual who likely needs a few lessons at Miss Hardly's School of Etiquette, At that point it would be time to take off the shirt and show them what personal PRIDE is all about. If that skin is too fat, flabby, pockmarked or wrinkled, for the priss let him head out with the rest of the garbage cause I can be trashy but I am definitely not garbage,

Edited June 28, 2020 by purplekow

[maninsoma]

Having been fat for quite a long time, I can attest to the fact that many gay men aren't very welcoming of fat men. I have occasionally -- but thankfully very rarely -- been subject to the verbal abuse that this guy describes. I feel more invisible than anything else. I do wonder if this guy is contributing to his misery by perhaps focusing too much on the kind of men whose photos are shown in that article. Not that it excuses boorish behavior, but if someone fat is relentlessly cruising muscle men he cannot be surprised when most of them (or even all of them) aren't interested. Generally guys who devote that much effort into looking that way aren't particularly interested in guys who don't share that priority. I also noticed that he seems angry at the types of men he assumes are exclusively desired, even trying to equate being young and skinny with being a meth addict. I think a lot of this guy's misery comes from within and not the community. It reminds me of one of my favorite sayings: Wherever you go, there you are.

[Daverwr]

Yep, fatty here! I’ll be honest, I go only to see the hot boys that have driven into the city to participate. Well, not only to view the boys, I also go to check out the food booths. I don’t care what they think. It reminds me that lifting weights is obviously bad for one’s personality.

[marylander1940]

https://mensvariety.com/gay-fat-pride-lgbt-skipping/

 

This is as true as the sun rising in the east.

 

I disagree!

 

Listen, you may feel unwelcome but I say, if you want to go, grab a chair, a sturdy one and sit your fat ass down in the middle of the party. If you hear one word about fat, or old or ugly, give them one big fat old ugly middle finger and advise them to rotate on it. I would not sacrifice my personal enjoyment just to mollify an ignorant individual who likely needs a few lessons at Miss Hardly's School of Etiquette, At that point it would be time to take off the shirt and show them what personal PRIDE is all about. If that skin is too fat, flabby, pockmarked or wrinkled, for the priss let him head out with the rest of the garbage cause I can be trashy but I am definitely not garbage,

 

Every time I go I see people of all sizes having fun with each other. In fact I find that in shape guys are a minority in Pride even for a community that brags about having a healthier lifestyle.

[Ajac]

Is there not a subset of gay men called Bears? Are they not celebrated in their own way? I find I am not attracted to me.

I am hairy, I like smoother. I am bald I like a full head of hair. I am overweight I like fit. I on a couple occasions I have been to very fit masseurs who specifically preferred overweight men. I think everyone should be fat once in their lives to develop an empathy. I have been every body type. Got fat in third grade chubby through middle school. Then slim runners body in Highschool. Gained a belly in my 20's then became athletic in my 30's. I now am at a point where quarantining is sending me new scale readings that I never thought I was capable of. The perfect specimens dancing on a float in a speedo may not stay that way forever. If they are hateful and rude to someone they find inferior Karma can be a bitch. On the flip side you can't expect people to find you attractive if they are not attracted to you. Same goes for agism there are quite a few guys who have a Daddy fetish. Different strokes for different folks. Here is a retort if someone is rude about your weight. I can always lose weight but I doubt you will lose your bitchy attitude so fuck off.

[Guest Calix_K]

Pride, or any event celebrating diversity is meant for ALL. While I myself or others may not have been born during the times when change was beginning to unfold (bath house raids, protests, etc), it gives no reason for anyone to marginalize or discriminate others who wish to enjoy their place in the world. Frankly, it also disrespects those who WERE persecuted back in the day who brought change and freedoms forward for everyone.

 

Re: the above referenced article, IMO it all boils down to "pretty face, ugly heart" which is a shame. If those "desirable gays" got their shit together they'd have the whole package.

[Ajac]

Pride, or any event celebrating diversity is meant for ALL. While I myself or others may not have been born during the times when change was beginning to unfold (bath house raids, protests, etc), it gives no reason for anyone to marginalize or discriminate others who wish to enjoy their place in the world. Frankly, it also disrespects those who WERE persecuted back in the day who brought change and freedoms forward for everyone.

 

Re: the above referenced article, IMO it all boils down to "pretty face, ugly heart" which is a shame. If those "desirable gays" got their shit together they'd have the whole package.

Yes I agree If I see a beautiful woman or man and they come off as arrogant or mean they are no longer attractive to me.

My fetish is nice guys.

[thickornotatall]

Usually pointing out someone's flaws is way of showing everyone how insecure you really are. I have all sorts of friends...fat..skinny..old..young..every color you can think of. What usually happens is what you don't like about someone you don't even know is that you are afraid. Afraid of being found out of a nasty inner self...Don't worry..we know nasty..we know you....and we pity you because your future holds nothing worthwhile.

[Quincy_7]

If it makes you feel better, money not sex appeal is the real source of power in the gay community. You can look like Danny DeVito and still get any of those instagays to sleep with you if you have enough of it.

[+ Pensant]

While I’ve never been overweight, I agree with the sentiments expressed. I went to Long Beach Pride a few times, LA and Seattle once. I was with friends, so had a good time, but it’s been over 20 years and I really couldn’t be bothered.

[marylander1940]

If it makes you feel better, money not sex appeal is the real source of power in the gay community. You can look like Danny DeVito and still get any of those instagays to sleep with you if you have enough of it.

 

Good point!

 

Fame also matters... and money matters later in life and nowadays there are guys you have it all: money, looks, instagram, influencers, etc.

[+ sniper]

I'm a lot fatter than that anonymous writer and while I've had the occasional experience with a mean girl, never anything "relentless" like he describes which makes me doubt the story. Like is he leaving out that he grabbed their crotch or something?

[Monarchy79]

Easy solution:

 

Hang with the bears.

 

I know plenty of full-figured guys who have a blast at pride events and other gay-centered events and places. The bear community welcomes the big guys.

 

The only fat guys these days who have issues with “fitting in”, at pride events these days, are the ones chasing skinny twinks and “body girls”, who don’t want to be bothered with them.

 

Sometimes you have to ask yourself:

“Am I suffering from my own discriminating ideologies?”

 

“Am I secretly lusting for that gay archetype of the man with the perfect body, and now shaming him for “ignoring me”, because he, in fact, wants the same thing, I’m looking for?”

[Monarchy79]

If it makes you feel better, money not sex appeal is the real source of power in the gay community. You can look like Danny DeVito and still get any of those instagays to sleep with you if you have enough of it.

 

But here’s the thing with a lot of guys.

Their personal pride, won’t allow them to just simply open those pockets. They want the satisfaction of believing they can get it for free.

they want to feel they have the sex appeal, that they truly don’t have (from the guys they are interested in).

Edited June 28, 2020 by Monarchy79

[Monarchy79]

Many of the fat guys who make the complaint of being discriminated against, won’t tell you that they secretly hate other fat guys too.

 

I’m not fat (just a simple athletic build), but I’ve literally had fat guys look at me and tell me that they have a preference for more muscular guys.

 

 

Theres a lot of hypocrisy with the “body issue”,in gay world, that’s for sure... ????

[marylander1940]

But here’s the thing with a lot of guys.

their personal pride, won’t allow them to just simply open those pockets. They want the satisfaction of believing they can get it for free.

they want to feel they have the sex appeal, that that truly don’t have (from the guys they are interested in).

 

Yes but it comes to a point when reality sets in. Besides having a kept boy/man or sugar baby is also a symbol of status.

 

 

Many of the fat guys who make the complaint of being discriminated against, won’t tell you that they secretly hate other fat guys too.

 

I’m not fat (just a simple athletic build), but I’ve literally had fat guys look at me and tell me that they have a preference for more muscular guys.

 

 

Theres a lot of hypocrisy with the “body issue”,in gay world, that’s for sure... ????

 

Just like folks yelling sexual discrimination because being minority and exclusively hiring (dating if possible) Nordic/Abercrombie & Fitch kind of guys!

[maninsoma]

Many of the fat guys who make the complaint of being discriminated against, won’t tell you that they secretly hate other fat guys too.

 

I’m not fat (just a simple athletic build), but I’ve literally had fat guys look at me and tell me that they have a preference for more muscular guys.

 

 

Theres a lot of hypocrisy with the “body issue”,in gay world, that’s for sure... ????

 

When I was putting more effort into online dating, I frequently came across profiles where I would think, "Oh, this guy looks similar to me in terms of age and body shape, and he's looking for a relationship like me, yada yada yada" and then I'd reach the end of the profile only to see the guy was only interested in guys half his age who were in much better shape.

[+ WilliamM]

Good point!

 

Fame also matters... and money matters later in life and nowadays there are guys you have it all: money, looks, instagram, influencers, etc.

 

Money only matters later in life if it is a bit unexpected. Example: a surprise, but deserved military disability from the usually undependable VA.

[Quincy_7]

But here’s the thing with a lot of guys.

their personal pride, won’t allow them to just simply open those pockets. They want the satisfaction of believing they can get it for free.

they want to feel they have the sex appeal, that that truly don’t have (from the guys they are interested in).

 

To me it's kind of hot to know that a status obsessed twunk who is probably a bitch to 90% of the guys that try to hit on him will nonetheless drop his pants for the right amount of money. That's what I would consider an actual sexual conquest because ordinarily the guy would not want to have anything to do with the benefactor and yet now he's on his knees with a dick in his mouth.

[Daverwr]

Just remember, not everyone is as nice or compassionate as we are. ? ?

[rustyrex]

The article, while true, is a little catty. I understand, but know there will always be some kind of discrimination as long as there are differences in the world, no matter what those differences are. It’s not okay and I don’t condone it but if it bothered the writer that much speak up right then and there. They had the gall to call you out you have every right to tell them to shut the f*** up. If they can dish it they better be ready to take it.

[RealAvalon]

This is kind of an impossible article to respond to. When a woman says she was sexually assaulted, I believe the complaint should be taken seriously and investigated with due diligence. And, privately, I reserve the right to either believe her or not. And whatever I, or anyone else, believe, shouldn't impact on the seriousness of how the accusation is dealt with. Saying that, this is not my experience of Pride at all. And everyone has their own experience. And fat shaming can be awful, fat can get equated with gross and dirty.

 

Did the gay community emerge from the emotional bonding of men, or did it emerge from the sexual attraction? Either or both. Depending on who you are and what you're looking for. Is sexual appeal going to be on display at Pride? Yes.

 

I'm curious, when I read a piece like this, does this guy finds himself attractive and would date someone of his own characteristics? My impression, and yes this will be a generalization, is that men (gay and non-gay both) want to date someone a bit younger and in better shape than they are. I wonder if this guy is any different.

 

I'm 5'11" and 170, and always think I'm 5-10lbs overweight, which I know is a very "first world problem."

Edited June 28, 2020 by RealAvalon

[caliguy]

"I’ve been contemplating skipping Pride for several years because I felt either invisible among the throngs or the center of the wrong type of attention."

 

We all know that Pride brings out every type of body yet he only mentions the young muscular guys. He's only looking for guys in much better shape and younger. Otherwise why would you even bitch about it and threaten to boycott it.

 

I've always believed in the saying if you can't beat em... Join em. So get your fat ass to the gym ya winy bitch. That or start doing Tina like it's going out of style.

[thickornotatall]

This is kind of an impossible article to respond to. When a woman says she was sexually assaulted, I believe the complaint should be taken seriously and investigated with due diligence. And, privately, I reserve the right to either believe her or not. And whatever I, or anyone else, believe shouldn't impact on the seriousness of how the accusation is dealt with. Saying that, this is not my experience of Pride at all. And everyone has their own experience. And fat shaming can be awful, fat can get equated with gross and dirty.

 

Did the gay community emerge from the emotional bonding or men, or did it emerge from the sexual attraction? Either or both. Depending on who you are and what you're looking for. Is sexual appeal going to be on display at Pride? Yes.

 

I'm curious, when I read a piece like this, if this guy finds himself attractive and would date someone of his own characteristics. My impression, and yes this will be a generalization, is that men (gay and non-gay both) want to date someone a bit younger and in better shape than they are. I wonder if this guy is any different.

 

I'm 5'11" and 170, and always think I'm 5-10lbs overweight, which I know is a very "first world problem."

I have the same "problem"...I'm 5'10"...185lbs....I look slim..but sometimes feel like I need to lose weight....sad...I wish I could just let it go...