Lost interest in hiring?

[littlenut]

I was curious if any of you had gone through a period where you just didn’t feel like hiring escorts anymore. If so, I’d welcome any specifics you’d be willing to share (how long? reasons for it? what triggered a return? etc.)

 

I’ve hired twice in the last 12 months, most recently in August. Both sessions were good enough, but I just don’t have the urge to continue at this point. I’m 51, I own my own business so free time is tough to come by, and I’ve had a few of my regulars retire/disappear from the scene in the last couple of years. So all of those could be factors in my current headspace. But to be honest, I thought I’d get the desire again but it’s just not happening. To clarify, it’s not a lack of physical desire, but a lack of wanting to go through the “process” and effort that it can take to find someone compatible.

 

I’m likely overthinking the situation, which is something I often do in life. Just thought I’d check with folks to see if anyone had experienced similar feelings. Thanks for anything you’d like to share.

[+ keroscenefire]

I hear you. When I first started I was very excited and wanted to hire all the time, but I've definitely slowed down a lot. For me, it's basically been a couple of traveling regulars and then if someone comes into town that I am really excited about.

 

I think part of it for me is I'd rather save money and then have a really great, longer experience with someone I am really interested than have more frequent sessions with guys that are fine but nothing special.

[+ oldNbusted]

...a lack of wanting to go through the “process” and effort that it can take to find someone compatible.

 

This is true for me. I've been around the block a few hundred times, so just another close encounter isn't enough to motivate me.

[builder boy]

Absolutely! Doing weekends is like running a Bed And Breakfast. My weekends are precious and sometimes I don't feel like entertaining!!!

[sexymonk]

I understand the situation with most of you. I feel that sometimes our rationale mind does have a greater control over our emotional side and we tend to analyze that where is end to this? Apart from experience what are we getting? At times we learn to live independent without the need of other person. Also, as we get enough of it we are satisfied and wait for some really special encounter! These days I am not super excited by hot guys anymore! Have seen enough of them! Just like to meet the good old regular whenever he is around in the city!

[alexslaveboy]

I was curious if any of you had gone through a period where you just didn’t feel like hiring escorts anymore. If so, I’d welcome any specifics you’d be willing to share (how long? reasons for it? what triggered a return? etc.)

 

I’ve hired twice in the last 12 months, most recently in August. Both sessions were good enough, but I just don’t have the urge to continue at this point. I’m 51, I own my own business so free time is tough to come by, and I’ve had a few of my regulars retire/disappear from the scene in the last couple of years. So all of those could be factors in my current headspace. But to be honest, I thought I’d get the desire again but it’s just not happening. To clarify, it’s not a lack of physical desire, but a lack of wanting to go through the “process” and effort that it can take to find someone compatible.

 

I’m likely overthinking the situation, which is something I often do in life. Just thought I’d check with folks to see if anyone had experienced similar feelings. Thanks for anything you’d like to share.

 

Much of what you said definitely resonated with me!

I last hired in August of this year as well and prior to that I was hiring monthly and sometimes seeing two particular guys within the month

 

I've definitely cut WAY back on my hiring due to :

 

A) moving from North Jersey to extreme South Jersey

 

B) Lost my Northern Jersey job in June to outsourcing, so funds became dire to hiring

 

C) lack of decent muscle guys that are willing to travel to Atlantic City area for meetups at a decent price

 

So I've been on a self imposed hiatus for some time now.....back in 2016, i was seeing guys weekly and sometimes 2 different guys the same day!! (AM and PM sessions)

Times have certainly changed......

[dcguy20]

I have experienced this as well this past year. It is based on a couple of factors. The most recent being I feel like someone switched my on button to off (for lack of a better analogy). Not just with regards to hiring or my libido (which isn't an issue), but other aspects of my life as well.

Edited November 13, 2019 by dcguy20

[Epigonos]

I first started hiring seventeen years ago. I was like a kid in a candy story. I traveled all over the country hiring escorts in places like Tampa, New York, Chicago, Vancouver, San Francisco etc., etc., etc. Damn it was fun. HOWEVER, over the last few years I have found I am less and less interested in the guys plying the trade. I'm NOT into twinks, tons of tattoos and facial hair. Additionally many of the guys I most enjoyed have retired. I also frequently get the feeling that I've been there and done that and it is now time to move on. I'm seriously considering limiting my hiring to just one traveling guy of whom I'm very fond. If and when he hangs it up I guess I will as well.

Oh well at 79 I guess age has caught up with me..

Edited November 12, 2019 by Epigonos

[+ tassojunior]

Very few off RM are super sexy. More "professional", ie: rudimentary. And there are few other spots left.

[Studsearcher]

I’m definitely hiring less, I think for a few reasons.

• I’m not into facial hair or the hairy guys who seem to have proliferated the market
  
• Too many average to below average experiences, including well reviewed guys (this is why I started losing interest)
  
• I might be horny but am I horny enough for these rates?
  
• The longer I go with reduced hiring, the more I have for other frivolous things that last a long longer than a couple hours. This wasn’t a conscious decision but something I’ve definitely noticed, and am having some fun with
  

I still like to look at the ads and this site, and I’m sure my activity will pick up again. Or maybe it won’t. I’ll be good either way!

[caramelsub]

I’m also meeting with escorts less and less. I think for me it’s the lack of quality escorts that are my type in my area. Occasionally there is a hot traveler but not often. If I’m going to pay 200-300 dollars for an experience they had better be very good looking, not in anyway average. Which I think in my city there are just too many average guys. I still like to look at the Nyc rentmen ads, because there are so many hot guys that are my type there.

[+ Pensant]

Generally, my preferred “type” is far less available than in past years, so I spend more time with two companions whom I’ve known for a few years and who keep working on their lean, defined young bods and share my fantasies. I feel they can read my mind! While it’s fun to add some new guys to the mix, about 50% of them end up being meh. My type has definitely declined in number since the wonderful CL era. I also rarely hire when abroad, unlike many. I enjoy immersing myself in the local environment. That said, I can go months without, although currently I’ve been busy!

[BaronArtz]

30 years ago I hired more often because (1) the rates were more reasonable and (2) there were a few bars in NYC where johns like me could meet prospective hires in a more relaxed setting.

 

Hiring online has made the process of hiring very cold. As others mentioned, the rate increase also gives me room for pause. I know there is a cost of living expense in NYC but 300/hour is a fee I strongly resist. Many if not most mediocre providers price themselves out of the market.

[+ Just Sayin]

for me, it's been cyclical; local talent is limited so I'm less inclined to hire when I'm home; when I go to LA, though, I tend to make certain I have sufficient experiences with escorts and masseurs that will tide me over until the next trip!

[MscleLovr]

Interesting thread. My type has always been an athletic preppy guy or a fit muscleboy. CL was a great resource for such young men ‘testing the waters’.

 

Back when I hired, there were many working guys who were my type. And CL provided the novices and those wanting discretion.

 

Nowadays, there are very few who are my type. Like @Epigonos I've no interest in twinks or tattooed guys or men with facial hair.

[nycbystander]

30 years ago I hired more often because (1) the rates were more reasonable and (2) there were a few bars in NYC where johns like me could meet prospective hires in a more relaxed setting.

 

Hiring online has made the process of hiring very cold. As others mentioned, the rate increase also gives me room for pause. I know there is a cost of living expense in NYC but 300/hour is a fee I strongly resist. Many if not most mediocre providers price themselves out of the market.

 

 

Completely agree with these sentiments. The standard rate of $300 is a barrier. I started hiring about 20 years ago, figuring the cost of a 2-3 hour session at the then standard rates was not a whole lot more than a weekend of club hopping figuring cabs, drinks etc and hiring was less aggravating and more of a sure thing. But now with a three hour session bumping a grand, and have had a few duds for that 900-1000 my hiring has been scaled back significantly.

[Guest]

[+ overeasy]

Totally agree. I found that, except for a very few hires, most left me unimpressed and feeling that the expenditure did not support the results. ...and there are other things that can use the funds...house upkeep and improvement, family, friends, and just plain old savings. Not that the urge isn't there...and I do still "window shop"....just listen to the little voice that says..."are you sure?"

[thickornotatall]

I agree....excessivce facial hair...heavily inked bodies...especially on the face and neck....prices rising faster than income...poor manners in the ads….TWEEKERS....

I tend to stay with the same guys and that's that!

[+ keroscenefire]

The standard rate of $300 is a barrier.

I agree with this completely. Denver is still mostly a $200-$250 city but a couple of the more successful guys who travel have started to charge $300. I did decide to meet with one who I hired in the past at the lower rate because we had a good time with lots of great conversation, some nice chemistry and some mutual sensuality, plus he let the session extend a bit past the hour (and of course I gave him a nice tip for a great time). Unfortunately, at $300 the same guy is a lot more rote, less sensual, and was trying to get out of my place at 45 minutes. So I haven't hired him since then. Maybe I have higher expectations now, but I feel like if you are going to increase your prices, you should try to provide a better experience. Too often though, escorts are charging more but providing less to the client. And that just leaves me being a lot more picky and engaging in the hobby less often.

[+ sync]

I'm practically at a dead stop in escort hiring:

• Age has diminished my libido
  
• Skyrocketing rates (somewhat understandable considering the cost of living in New York City)
  
• The tattooing and piercing craze
  
• The waning of work ethic within the pool of providers (condescending, arrogant, flippant, impatient, up-selling, stolen ad images, "ask me.")
  

An occasional massage is pretty much it for me anymore. Sure do miss Rounds, Stella's, and other NYC "job fair" venues.

[+ not2rowdy]

A combination of several factors:

 

Libido

As @dcguy20 stated: “…I feel like someone switched my on button off…”

 

and as @sync stated: “Age has diminished my libido” and “An occasional massage is pretty much it for me anymore.”

My decreased libido likely also related to aging. But that may be ok (and I’m fine, for now, at not using “enhancement” drugs) because it indirectly acknowledges other factors:

 

Cost (this is a VERY expensive “hobby” - and I have a real budget)

As @Studsearcher stated: “I might be horny but am I horny enough for these rates?”

 

and (slightly edited)… “The longer I go with reduced hiring, the more (funds) I have for other frivolous things that last a (lot) longer than a couple of hours.” To me, however, some of those “frivolous things” are pretty important.

 

Changing Priorities

As @overeasy stated (and slightly edited): …there are other things that can use the funds…house upkeep and improvement, family, friends, (completing other items on my ‘life bucket list” while I’m still able) and just plain old savings.”

[+ Charlie]

I stopped hiring when I got married six years ago.

 

OK, I actually stopped a few years before that. I had always been in an open relationship, but after more than thirty years of hiring, I had become bored with the whole process of hiring, which became too business-like once the Internet took it over. It was more exciting when one didn't know what the escort was going to look like, and the only way to contact him was with a phone call. It was also easier when I was living in a major city and traveling often to other cities. Then there was the fact that I was still young enough when I started hiring at 35 to get it without paying for it, so I could convince myself that the escort, who often wasn't a lot younger than I was, could actually be turned on by me. And there was that libido thing (note to self: you forgot to rub on the testosterone gel this morning). Finally--and this sounds strange to most people--I discovered that I got more physical pleasure from playing tennis than from having sex.

 

So, now I am quietly retired in a resort town, travel very little, and have a couple thousand dollars per year to spend on other interests. My only contact with the escort world is through this site.

Edited November 12, 2019 by Charlie

[down_to_business]

Fascinating thread.

 

A while back I hired often. This included finding a "regular" who was the right combination of sexy, friendly, and affordable. Then for the past few years, not so much at all. As others have mentioned the reasons include insane rates, providers not matching their pictures, not being attracted to many of the providers and usually no one within my geographical area at all, and being turned off by the hiring process (i.e. so many hoops to jump through or changing terms rules and requirements after the booking).

Recently, I have begun to try and get back into hiring. I have 2-3 sessions booked in the coming 2 months and they are all overnights because nothing locally sparks my interest. While I am excited about it, I am also very skeptical. I imagine that if these go bad, I will stop hiring escorts altogether - and limit this type of activity to the rare occasion generous on Grindr.

[LivingnLA]

I haven't been hiring for as long or as extensively as many forum members, but my hiring has slowed recently. It's a combination of factors. The market is full of providers who superficially are my type but quickly fall apart during a session. My skepticism is high with unknown providers since rates are consistently in the $300-$500/hr range. I'm fine with these rates if I'm confident in a provider's ability to provide the desired experience. Unfortunately, the small number of providers I'm confident in are popular and very busy or my schedule makes it impossible to set up a session. 2020 will hopefully be a better year.