Lost interest in hiring?

[+ Pensant]

I think the early aughts were the golden hobbying years in SoCal. So much beauty and willingness!

[big-n-tall]

My hiring rate has decreased like everyone else's. Some of it is for the reasons people stated and some for other reasons.

 

My regulars who traveled to my area don't travel here as much as they used to. So that's part of the decrease.

 

The guy I currently see the most moved closer to my area a few years ago. I focus mainly on him. We go on extended trips on and off the clock. I don't feel the need to hire as much. Although he's moving away again. I don't know if my hiring rate will rebound with him not being as accessible.

 

With the year almost over I only hired 2 new guys and have seen 3 regulars. For me, that is a severe decrease even from just 2 years ago.

[+ purplekow]

I am in the club who of those hiring less. in fact, after a recent session, I have decided that overnights probably are going to be a very rare experience for me, when that was my usual hiring method, I enjoy the company. I enjoy the conversation. I still enjoy the sex, but the sex part is tricky. When I was a few years younger, an overnight meant a nice meal, nice conversation and three or four orgasms spread over the 12 hours. Now, if I push it, I have two orgasms and so one could say, there is a lot less bang for the buck.

In addition, I too like the clean cut, muscle type with an occasional dalliance in to the fit dad bod type. I like my men in their thiries and forties, but that group seems to be dwindling.

In addition, I fiind Rentman a lot less useful for browsing than Rentboy was. So I am less likely to be browsing.

I enjoy the weekend get togethers with the Daddy's people, as I get to meet and greet escorts. My four most recent new hires, have been men I met at the Daddy's group meetings. So thanks to Oliver and the organizers of DC. I am unlikely just to try someone new from an ad, and as a result I have utilize mainly regulars. However, like a marriage, the longer you know someone, the less inventive the sex.

Edited November 13, 2019 by purplekow

[+ Just Sayin]

I'm curious, guys: of the posters in this thread, I suspect we are all roughly about at the same stage of life, and facing the same changes; turning 70 hit me hard--can't round 70 to late 60s anymore!

[alexslaveboy]

I'm curious, guys: of the posters in this thread, I suspect we are all roughly about at the same stage of life, and facing the same changes; turning 70 hit me hard--can't round 70 to late 60s anymore!

 

I'm early 50s.....but as I mentioned in my post

Have several reasons for the slow down

I've never hired for topping or bottoming....but I am still a horny little devil when it comes to muscle guys.....just not a great selection here in South Jersey

 

Plus, I'm never going higher than $300.....ever!!!

[+ easygoingpal]

I'm curious, guys: of the posters in this thread, I suspect we are all roughly about at the same stage of life, and facing the same changes; turning 70 hit me hard--can't round 70 to late 60s anymore!

Well, I had not posted yet, but here it goes... I am now past 60. After a year and a half of enjoy the hobby, I also started to slow down for many of the same reasons that have been mentioned. I am facing the "getting older" changes that you mentioned... LOL!

[MidwestCoastal]

I feel like hiring has made me feel lonelier than usual lately.

 

47 and beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to be in a normal relationship.

 

Curious how many people feel loss of interest in hiring and loss of interest in life in general.

[+ Charlie]

I'm curious, guys: of the posters in this thread, I suspect we are all roughly about at the same stage of life, and facing the same changes; turning 70 hit me hard--can't round 70 to late 60s anymore!

I'll just say that I came out during the Eisenhower administration.

[MrMattBig]

47 and beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to be in a normal relationship.

I feel the same sentiments after hiring and escorting.

its reinforced my desire to only be in a polyamorous or open relationship in the future. Essentially, with someone who has a similarly altered view of normal like me. My small advice would be to consider a relationship with someone whose normal is somewhat like yours.

[+ Topseed]

A fascinating thread. Thanks to all.

 

I’m in my 60’s. Years ago I hired frequently, and this included weekend and extended travel. Doing this now intrigues me not at all, as I just don’t have the free time! I find myself as busy as I want with my social life, travel, music and other cultural pursuits which I don’t really need nor require a companion to enjoy. To be sure, worrying about whether my companion is bored, confused (or whatever) would reduce my own enjoyment of these outings.

 

Cost has gotten out of hand. Many NYC and LA escorts are now at $400/hour. This limits my enthusiasm. Compounding this is a vein of escort behavior that tends to treat clients as an ATM. (Happily, not all providers do this.) I’m assuming a significant economic downturn will change this pricing and maybe even this behavior.These gents are, of course, free to set their prices as they wish; I am equally free to demur.

 

I’ve always preferred clean-cut jock/muscular types (of any ethnicity). These are harder to find. I’m just not a huge fan of ink nor a rougher look.

 

And, the hookup sites offer plenty of decent fellows for free. Yes, it can be a crapshoot, but so can hiring escorts who 1) have inaccurate pics, 2) excessively shave their ages, or 3) whose actions aren’t in sync with the narrative of their ads.

 

For me, I find my money better spent elsewhere most days. I have significantly increased my annual charitable giving over the past few years, and doing so gives me joy. Saying “yes” with my time to friends and organizations asking for it gives me joy. Having a dose of “alone time” gives me joy. Hiring escorts lately has rarely brought me joy.

 

Ultimately, I wonder if my active hiring was a phase of my life best relegated to that earlier time.

Edited November 19, 2019 by Topseed

[Poincare]

I love this thread!

 

Here’s my deal.....I start hiring in early aughts when I lived in NYC.....had a great time with some amazingly my escorts.....moved in 2008 to west coast and met a few great hires.....mostly regulars and a few became friends....moved back east in 2013 and I continue to hire...but about 6-8 times a year down from my peak of about 20-25 times a year...just natural fall off in interest....I think there are still great hires out there...just not as interested

 

I have become really close friends with a prior escort....That seems to have interestingly slowed down my hiring....but I had an amazing time with Mark Parker this weekend. He is the real deal...jeez

[littlenut]

Wow! I was expecting to hear from a few posters, maybe as many as 6 or 7, but the replies have kind of blown me away. It took me a couple of weeks to decide to post, I thought I was a little alone in my sentiments. But clearly I’m not. And for such a variety of reasons.

 

As I mentioned, I’m 51, so I don’t feel like age is a big factor for me (yet). But many of the other reasons that have surfaced in the responses strike a chord with me. Cost, type of guys available, difficulty in arranging meetings are all significant factors.

 

As I consider things, I think the loss of a few “regulars” that I’d hire is possibly the largest factor. I’m not under any impression that we were more than escort-client, but nor do I think any of them could be easily “replaced”.

 

Part of my reason for starting the thread was to understand if my current state is a phase or more permanent change in life. I’m sensing the latter but keeping an open mind.

[Enronnja]

When I had a guaranteed income, I could turn a blind eye. But right now, I don’t have a job. There are moments of regret based on what I spent this year on escorts and then there are feelings of delight. I have the funds for one more, but I am being very picky. My head space right now is save and watch free porn online. But nothing beats physical body contact, especially with a hot guy.

[LivingnLA]

I'm curious, guys: of the posters in this thread, I suspect we are all roughly about at the same stage of life, and facing the same changes; turning 70 hit me hard--can't round 70 to late 60s anymore!

 

I have a few years to go before I turn 50. My libido has declined from my 20s when I would cum 2-3 times every day, nearly all with my wife or rosy palms. My 30s saw me slow down to 5-10 times a week and my 40s have so far been 3-5 times a week.

 

I feel like hiring has made me feel lonelier than usual lately.

 

47 and beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to be in a normal relationship.

 

Curious how many people feel loss of interest in hiring and loss of interest in life in general.

 

Feeling lonely sometimes is completely normal and so are questions around careers, relationships, and life. A "loss of interest in life in general" is a classic symptom of depression. If these feelings seem to weigh you down or you're feeling unhappy, I encourage you to shift some discretionary spending to pay for a few sessions with a good psychotherapist. It's often useful to talk through things with an impartial third party. If you don't want to talk to a therapist, I urge you to discuss this with your primary care physician because there are pharmaceutical treatment options as well. If you don't want to do that, then I urge you to force yourself to exercise, volunteer for charities, go get a relaxing therapeutic massage, find a social hiking, cycling, or other outdoor group because spending time in nature can be powerful, or even a book club or other social networking group for a favorite hobby. Our society tends toward isolation and that is deeply unhealthy for social primates like us. It's very important for you to take this seriously and figure out ways to reconnect with humanity because you are not alone and you do not have to live with depression.

Edited November 13, 2019 by LivingnLA

[jawjateck]

I take hobby breaks, each one is getting longer, primarily because compatibility is far more elusive to establish than back in the good ole days.

[Phil_musc]

To all of you who have posted here on this thread, thank you. I thought I was the only one who was experiencing this phenomenon. And all the various reasons mentioned resonate with me too. I do think, though, that a chunk of my feelings on this have to do with depression and a loss of interest in many things. It's hard to get motivated.

[LivingnLA]

that a chunk of my feelings on this have to do with depression and a loss of interest in many things. It's hard to get motivated.

 

Please seek help. Don't try and tough it out. Depression is no joke and there are many ways to help but you have to be proactive. Start with baby steps and build from there.

 

source: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/men-and-depression/index.shtml

 

How can I help myself if I am depressed?

 

Seeking help sooner than later can relieve symptoms quicker and reduce the length of time treatment is needed.

Other things that may help include:

• Spending time with other people and talking with a friend or relative about your feelings
  
• Increasing your level of physical activity. Regular exercise can help people with mild to moderate depression and may be one part of a treatment plan for those with severe depression. Talk with your health care professional about what kind of exercise is right for you.
  
• Breaking up large tasks into small ones, and tackling what you can as you can. Don't try to do too many things at once
  
• Delaying important decisions until you feel better. Discuss decisions with others who know you well.
  
• Keeping stable daily routines. For example, eating and going to bed at the same time every day.
  
• Avoiding alcohol
  

As you continue treatment, gradually you will start to feel better. Remember that if you are taking an antidepressant, it may take several weeks for it to start working. Try to do things that you used to enjoy before you had depression. Go easy on yourself.

 

Where can I go for help?

 

If you are unsure of where to go for help, ask your family doctor or health care provider. You can also find resources online including the NIMH website at www.nimh.nih.gov/FindHelp, or check with your insurance carrier to find someone who participates in your plan. Hospital doctors can help in an emergency.

[adventurous old guy]

 

....but I had an amazing time with Mark Parker this weekend. He is the real deal...jeez

 

Do tell. Mark and I overlap in DC this week. He was amazing, the real deal why? Tried to PM you to no avail, but would love hear more. PM me if you feel inclined...thx

[Guest Calix_K]

Thought I'd add to this thread, if I may.

 

Firstly, OP thanks for posting this; it definitely resonates with me as a service provider who has experienced the changing wants/needs of those I've met.

 

I agree that things like age, cost factors and even questioning the prospect of a normal relationship can affect someone's desire to hire guys. All valid points.

 

My question to those who have posted is: have you reached out to a service provider to ask about platonic touch and the associated rates that go with this? Truth be told, I've made some very strong connections with clients who start off with this and who have continued to enjoy this modality, to the exclusion of all others. However, during the time I have worked with clients I have not found this to be an offering that many service providers openly advertise.

 

For some, this may be of no interest but I've found that it may eliminate some of the gamble when looking to hire a new service provider, and may set the stage for repeat encounters (platonic or more) or not, based on chemistry and overall connection, etc.

 

~Calix

[CheckCar]

Thought I'd add to this thread, if I may.

 

My question to those who have posted is: have you reached out to a service provider to ask about platonic touch and the associated rates that go with this?

 

~Calix

 

Thanks for your post. Can you explain what you mean by platonic touch? Is this like the cuddling services I’ve seen pop up over the past two years, or are you describing something else?

[HoseMaster]

Although I haven't totally lost interest in hiring, I have scaled down from when I used to hire a lot more. I'm in my early fifties now, and my testosterone hovers in the low-200 range, when my urologist says it should be in the 600-800 range. I remember one of my Fire Captain opposites was getting testosterone pellet therapy that our work insurance covered, so I eventually got approved for that as well. My libido has picked up a little from that, but it hasn't been what it was. One of my best friends got his T-level checked, and he was naturally around 1,100! Also, his libido is through the roof, and still is in great shape at close to 40 years old.

 

Another thing is that I am still attracted to guys in their 20s and early 30s that are naturally smooth, no facial hair (is there a pattern here with the other posters?), and muscular. It still seems the latest trend is lots of facial hair, which turns me off right away.

 

I also have set reserves in my mind that anything above $300 per hour, $1,000-1,200 for an overnight, or $2,000-$2,500 for a weekend is ridiculous. It's not that I can't afford more than that. It just goes back to what I was first used to paying for these services, and that there are still guys out there that perform a phenomenal job at those rates. Very often I'll go through ads and see someone that looks appealing to me, and then when I get a rate beyond what I stated above, "Hey little head! Big head here! Move on! You could go have fun in a tropical place on vacation for that price, Dork!"

 

I've even started to trend back to hourlies again from my usual overnights and weekenders. It seems that once I cum now in the hour, I feel that I don't need to cum for awhile again, so they may as well just leave at the end of the hour. Maybe if I felt a connection, I'd want them to stay, but if there is no connection..."BUH BYE"

 

The last two hires of mine were naturally smooth and muscular guys from Colombia from the Midwest and the East Coast. They had nice muscular smooth bodies, easy on the eyes, and were ok in bed. There wasn't much connection, as they both seemed more concerned with themselves, or what they were going to eat than they did with me. One seemed more gay-for-pay, while the other was gay. They both got married to guys here in the U.S. so they could stay here, but both told me it was just for citizenship purposes. We had "okay" times, but neither hire resonated with me like when first started hiring nearly 15 years ago. When our weekend sessions were over, I felt a little on the depressed side, and thought to myself, "I just spent HOW much for that??" "What were you thinking?" "You could have had a nice vacation for THAT price!" It seems that those thoughts I mentioned now surface a lot more than I used to.

[adventurous old guy]

Jumping in to offer this perspective: I haven't lost interest in hiring at all, unfortunately for my wallet. However, I hesitate more because of the way bareback has become the norm. I think the trend is unfortunate for these reasons: First, it's very tempting. Bareback IS so much more exciting. Second, I really don't want to go on PrEP, long term affects have not been studied, I'd worry about not complying with the regimen, and honestly I just hate taking chronic meds. Third. all evidence is that drug-resistant STDs are on the rise, and PrEP does nothing to prevent any but HIV. And finally, there's a lot of rationalization and misinformation out there that comes up in conversation with providers about how its OK to go bare now. I've had two conversations with providers about how relying on condoms without PrEP use is irresponsible on my part because condoms can break. I see the point, but its a kind of a mindfuck for someone who has been as careful as I've been for as long as I've been.

 

So honestly, I'm thinking of retiring this hobby for that reason.

 

BTW, I don't think this is just a provider problem. Multiple threads here where providers express concern about clients now expecting bareback. Most recently, this one: https://m4m-forum.org/threads/safe-vs-bare.153674/

Edited November 18, 2019 by adventurous old guy

[+ keroscenefire]

Jumping in to offer this perspective: I haven't lost interest in hiring at all, unfortunately for my wallet. However, I hesitate more because of the way bareback has become the norm. I think the trend is unfortunate for these reasons: First, it's very tempting. Bareback IS so much more exciting. Second, I really don't want to go on PrEP, long term affects have not been studied, I'd worry about not complying with the regimen, and honestly I just hate taking chronic meds. Third. all evidence is that drug-resistant STDs are on the rise, and PrEP does nothing to prevent any but HIV. And finally, there's a lot of rationalization and misinformation out there that comes up in conversation with providers about how its OK to go bare now. I've had two conversations with providers about how relying on condoms without PrEP use is irresponsible on my part because condoms can break. I see the point, but its a kind of a mindfuck for someone who has been as careful as I've been for as long as I've been.

 

So honestly, I'm thinking of retiring this hobby for that reason.

 

BTW, I don't think this is just a provider problem. Multiple threads here where providers express concern about clients now expecting bareback. Most recently, this one: https://m4m-forum.org/threads/safe-vs-bare.153674/

In my opinion, you can find plenty of guys who will use condoms. Just ask..most of them well and many prefer and some even require it.

[+ 5280Dane]

I feel like hiring has made me feel lonelier than usual lately.

 

47 and beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to be in a normal relationship.

 

Curious how many people feel loss of interest in hiring and loss of interest in life in general.

First off, what is normal anymore? Don’t let society or anyone for that matter define what a relationship is or should be. Might be worth giving some thought to what you really want. Being lonely does suck, I think most of us have felt that way. I don’t know you, but here is ghost hug. hang in there.

[+ 5280Dane]

This is probably the best thread I’ve read since being a member. I’m 46, horny as a goat most days, but I too have cut down on hiring, and for many of the reasons others have stated. When I started in the south, there were maybe 3 guys and the occasional traveler to choose from. Now there are over 20 choices, yet many are probably from backpage, so the quality is questionable at best. Many of the new guys are very young, want to charge $300 in a $200-$250 city, have way too much attitude, and just honestly turn me off. I wait for some consistent travelers or treat myself when out of town. But the main reason I cut back is that prices are going up, but my salary hasn’t and is not keeping pace with inflation. I just don’t have the discretionary income that I used to have. I’m definitely part of the middle class that continues to shrink.