What constitutes Having Sex?

[gilbert]

Okay, I know this had to be discussed at one time or another, but I can't find it. What constitutes being able to say one man had sex with another man? How far does a man does a man have to go with another man to able to say they had sex? Is oral officially having sex ? Do you have to have anal penetration to officially be able to say you had sex? Or is there no such thing as men having sex with men. Is it all just playing around or being sensual with other men? Just curious.

[+ oldNbusted]

Asking for a friend?

[RealAvalon]

Okay, I know this had to be discussed at one time or another, but I can't find it. What constitutes being able to say one man had sex with another man? How far does a man does a man have to go with another man to able to say they had sex? Is oral officially having sex ? Do you have to have anal penetration to officially be able to say you had sex? Or is there no such thing as men having sex with men. Is it all just playing around or being sensual with other men? Just curious.

When both people (or more) acknowledge that's what was happening.

Edited November 9, 2019 by RealAvalon

[EZEtoGRU]

When I was a teenager growing up in the Midwest, "having sex" meant you actually had penetrative intercourse. Oral sex did not constitute "having sex" even though it is a sexual act. Years later when Bill Clinton was being tried for impeachment, his retort of "it depends on what your definition of sex is" made perfect sense to me. Sure it was a cop out but at least where I grew up, oral sex was not considered as being "sex". Only sexual intercourse (vaginal or anal) was considered to be "sex".

[hypothetically]

“Officially.” Lol.

[hypothetically]

When I was a teenager growing up in the Midwest, "having sex" meant you actually had penetrative intercourse. Oral sex did not constitute "having sex" even though it is a sexual act.

 

But oral is penetrative intercourse. Is someone not penetrating your mouth when oral is taking place?

[Kevin Slater]

Penis in a vagina. Period.

 

Kevin Slater

[rvwnsd]

When the guy sticks this on your chest:

 

[+ sniper]

Penis in a vagina. Period.

 

Kevin Slater

I'm a virgin!

[marylander1940]

I'm a virgin!

 

Actually you're just gold star gay

[+ Gar1eth]

Or is there no such thing as men having sex with men. Is it all just playing around or being sensual with other men? Just curious.

 

I have to ask why the notion men can't have sex with each other would even occur to you.

 

Gman

[+ not2rowdy]

Don’t know what US Federal Statutes are. But they likely closely resemble US Military Law.

The Manual for Courts-Martial Article 120 defines as such:

¶45.a.(g)(1) & (2)

 

(g) Definitions. In this section:

 

( 1 ) Sexual act. The term ‘sexual act’ means -

 

(A) contact between the penis and the vulva or anus or mouth, and for purposes of this subparagraph contact involving the penis occurs upon penetration, however slight; or

 

(B) the penetration, however slight, of the vulva or anus or mouth of another by any part of the body or by any object, with an intent to abuse, humiliate, harass, or degrade any person or to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person.

 

(2) Sexual contact. The term ‘sexual contact’ means—

 

(A) touching, or causing another person to touch, either directly or through the clothing, the genitalia, anus, groin, breast, inner thigh, or buttocks of any person, with an intent to abuse, humiliate, or degrade any person; or

 

(B) any touching, or causing another person to touch, either directly or through the clothing, any body part of any person, if done with an intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person.

[gallahadesquire]

Thank goodness they didn't specify nipples!

[MrMattBig]

Thank goodness they didn't specify nipples!

Actually, nipple play is covered by inference in 1b and 2b Of what @not2rowdy posted.

[+ purplekow]

I believe one knows one has had sex when after it has happened either you want to tell everyone or you want to tell no one.

[TruHart1]

"Sex" with a man occurs when you are so turned on by that male individual that no matter the mechanics involved, you discharge vast amounts of semen in ecstasy! You may hem and haw about the law and legal definitions but cumming in fountains like a teenager has and will always constitute having SEX with a MAN for me!!!:p:p

 

TruHart1

[Islesguy]

My freshman orientation class in college (basically giving kids the tools to navigate college life), which I took right after the Starr Report was released. The professor put a line on the board. One end said not sex and the other end said sex. Everyone started at not sex. He then gave us different acts and told us to move to the appropriate part of the line depending on how we viewed each act in terms of how close it was to sex or not.

 

Some people started moving towards sex at hand holding. Most people were at least halfway at open mouth kiss. A couple of people never moved off not sex until the professor said vaginal penetration. It was kind of fascinating to see different people's opinions especially in light of the Lewinsky scandal.

 

I made my personal thoughts about what constitutes sex known in another thread.

[MikeBiDude]

This comes up often on Seeking and other venues I meet young men at. They say “no sex”.

 

But after our first meet, or whenever connection/chemistry strikes and things get romantic and we adjourn to “the sheets”, EVERYTHING happens except any anal intercourse. Hours later they’ll still claim “we had a lot of fun without having sex...”

 

Is it a sign of the times? Current generation?

[+ Charlie]

Whatever you do, it is sex if at least one of you gets turned on by it, and both of you know it.

[+ SundayZip]

This comes up often on Seeking and other venues I meet young men at. They say “no sex”.

 

But after our first meet, or whenever connection/chemistry strikes and things get romantic and we adjourn to “the sheets”, EVERYTHING happens except any anal intercourse. Hours later they’ll still claim “we had a lot of fun without having sex...”

 

Is it a sign of the times? Current generation?

 

I've had similar experiences with dancers at gay strip clubs. A few years ago I finished an awesome set of lap dances and asked the dancer if he'd consider a private hotel show. He answered, "yes, but no sex". I was confused so I told him specifically what I wanted to do during our "hotel show". He agreed, saying that it was all okay, just no penetration. It was a terrific hotel visit, lots of good stuff that I considered sex, but apparently he did not. It's lovely when a mismatch in two people's definition of a word can work to their advantage.

[+ nycman]

If any part of me is inside any part of you.....we’re having sex.

[+ tassojunior]

Don’t know what US Federal Statutes are. But they likely closely resemble US Military Law.

The Manual for Courts-Martial Article 120 defines as such:

¶45.a.(g)(1) & (2)

 

(g) Definitions. In this section:

 

( 1 ) Sexual act. The term ‘sexual act’ means -

 

(A) contact between the penis and the vulva or anus or mouth, and for purposes of this subparagraph contact involving the penis occurs upon penetration, however slight; or

 

(B) the penetration, however slight, of the vulva or anus or mouth of another by any part of the body or by any object, with an intent to abuse, humiliate, harass, or degrade any person or to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person.

 

(2) Sexual contact. The term ‘sexual contact’ means—

 

(A) touching, or causing another person to touch, either directly or through the clothing, the genitalia, anus, groin, breast, inner thigh, or buttocks of any person, with an intent to abuse, humiliate, or degrade any person; or

 

(B) any touching, or causing another person to touch, either directly or through the clothing, any body part of any person, if done with an intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person.

 

That's a very "liberal" statute. At common law it was only penetration of a vagina by a penis. And sodomy was only penetration of an anus by a penis.

[+ VictorPowers]

You could really split hairs with this question. Just split some cheeks instead for an easy answer ☺️

[Guest]

The word "sex" can have many meanings, including simply someone's gender. Sexual intercourse usually refers to an intimate contact which involves something penetrating the vaginal, oral, or anal cavity (be it the other person's penis, finger(s), dildo, cucumber, or whatever). Sexual activity can refer to anything which can get a person to orgasm. I can often get a very wonderful orgasm just by licking a man's armpits, so that would be sexual activity, but not sexual intercourse (though, of course, what I might need to do to get my sexual partner off, such as sucking or fucking, would be considered intercourse).

[EZEtoGRU]

But oral is penetrative intercourse. Is someone not penetrating your mouth when oral is taking place?

Where I’m from oral sex absolutely is not intercourse. For the rest of my life I will continue to view “intercourse” as only being vaginal or anal Intercouse. For me an is a sexual act but it is not having sex.

 

To be fair, I’m not sure there is a right or wrong answer to the OP’s question. If you ask 20 different people their answer to the question, I’m sure you will get 20 different answers.