.

[Mocha]

.

Edited October 1, 2019 by Mocha

[Pulgasari1991]

because they’re married/partnered, they can only play on a limited basis. But then it requires me to have superhuman powers to make shit happen.

Clients can't change their schedules, you think it's not worth it as it is currently...try and raise your rates? Supposedly, after all, colleagues are facing these same difficulties of yours.

 

How much income % do you expect to lose by shifting to local market only?

[SirBillybob]

"Not available" usually means "don't want", "not interested", "ambivalent", "might get a better offer", "I thought I wanted but that evolved into not sure then nah I don't", "I had better defer the commitment and wait to answer the guy or delay confirming in case I more want later", "I won't be direct in case I don't want to alienate him because I may want him another time on my terms, so I prefer to hedge based on my alleged time-starved life", etc etc.

 

At this point, the detailed descriptions do not assist the reader to better grasp all the aspects of the problem. We all know about human nature in general and in the context of intimacy trade.

 

Rather than journaling all the details ad nauseum, I suggest going forward a structured tally (that can be formatted in a few words) of the proportions, say, over six months, that meet versus cancel/unshow. Not a particular week or weekend or spate of misfortune, as outliers either direction can occur over short time frames.

 

Just shift the nature of the formulated info about the theme in the rather vast amount of time you seem willing to invest in chronicling.

 

When you do not initiate a similar topic on discouragement we do not know if not hearing from you means things are going well or your bad booking experiences are simmering until you get organized to present here.

 

There is systematic research on cancel/no- show rates for other services, some with penalties others not.

 

We cannot judge the scope of the problem for you without a larger sample of providers, so the next best thing is to see your specific data across a long duration.

[David1024]

Some flexibility is needed on both sides. If I find an escort that I really want to hire, I will happily make some changes in my schedule to make sure we fine a time that works for us both. Sometimes it does prove difficult, but escorts have lives, families, etc. as well.

[Mocha]

Clients can't change their schedules, you think it's not worth it as it is currently...try and raise your rates? Supposedly, after all, colleagues are facing these same difficulties of yours.

 

How much income % do you expect to lose by shifting to local market only?

 

Here’s some of the example messages I get:

 

Client A: I understand, It makes sense. I have a husband and a 92 year old mother living alone and nearby so it's tough to plan much ahead. So I cannot commit easily. I'm not free today or tomorrow.

 

Client B: Hi there. I'm sorry but I have to travel to Boston tonight for meetings all day tomorrow. ☹️. I'll need to see you next time you're in DC. Darn!

 

I understand people have things to do, but client B had asked me if I would be available Friday, and then had the above come up. Client A was asking for private pics, and we exchanged numbers only for him to text me that. those are the type of messages that I refer to, they’re just not available. And that’s just 2. I have many more message like that.

[marylander1940]

For me: the main thing that’s making escort less fun nowadays, is that all these guys on Rentmen are simply not available. That’s one reason why I keep my adam4adam profile up.

 

It's more competitive than it used to be.

 

I find myself getting texts and emails around the clock from people in different cities I am in or plan to visit, and by the time we get 3 messages in, I find out they aren’t available. Over the last 2 weeks, my phone has been filled with, “sorry I’m not able to meet” or “I’m not able to meet this time”, or “I’m only available 1 day this week between these 2 hours of time window”, and it’s not the days I’m in town. Some of it is coming from regulars, others are from new clients.

 

If there's a will there's a way.

 

I don’t know if it’s the season or what, but it’s getting out of hand. I just don’t understand why people reach out to us, when they don’t have any time to plan anything. Also, I will text someone to confirm an appointment or try to get something set up, they either don’t respond back, or wait until the next day...and by that time I’m waiting and wondering, only to hear they can’t make it.

 

Maybe they're shopping around or they just don't have the money.

 

Nobody puts the phone away now a days... I'm sure they read your text right away or after an important meeting where somehow they didn't feel like checking their phone while their boss was talking. They were just wasting your time, it happens in all professions.

 

Or, they’ll not respond to the follow up in the timeframe that I need...and then expect me to be available despite not returning my message asking them to confirm. I had a guy in another city I planned to visit, do that the other day. I asked him 2 times to let me know what times he can meet tomorrow, because he ASKED ME if I could see him tomorrow. I didn’t get any response until the next morning. By that point, I made other plans.

 

Try texting again to confirm and if they don't reply just send this text: "Hi, I'm sorry but I just got a call and I'm no longer free tomorrow at 2:00 PM as we planned" right away they'll text you asking you to let them know on your next trip.

 

And then...seems like every time I try to arrange a session, everybody always has to be on a time constraint. Like they can’t ever meet during any other time of day.

 

True!

 

It's like NYC took over the country (for the record I love NYC and its values). Guys are free on a specific time and I wouldn't be surprised if you have 2 guys interested at 1 PM and God forbid if you tell them you have someone before because they'll get upset!

 

The media portrays escorting as a night time activity...but the fact is, 60% of my clients want to meet during the day, and it’s often too early in the day for me to meet. The prime time hours between 7 and 11 pm are more and more dead nowadays.

 

YOU must adapt yourself to THEIR schedule!

 

 

People are wanting afternoon sessions, and being that I travel and stay in hotels, meeting between 11 and 2 pm is difficult as that’s the time I go to the gym while the maids clean, or may be checking out/into a hotel during those crucial hours. I’m also traveling during the day and may not arrive into a city until the late afternoon/evening and 9 times out 10 they say it’s too late for them to meet.

 

Again, YOU must adapt yourself to THEIR schedule. Try to stick to a chain of hotels and call the day before to ask for an early check in. Get their earlier!

 

Go to the gym at a different time! You'll have plenty of time go do it at the hotel and have a protein shake after but if a client wants noon and you have plans to go to the gym by 12, go there earlier or later.

 

East Coast escorts are blessed being able to make it anywhere in the country except HNL and ANC by noon or earlier if they wake up and catch an early flight. Even if you drive, leave earlier and get there earlier!

 

Adapt yourself!

 

Sometimes it doesn’t matter when I arrive. If I arrive in town at 8 pm, it’s too late for them. If I arrive at 4 pm, it’s too late for them. If I arrive at 2 pm, it’s still too late for them. It’s never a good time, because they never want to go out their way to meet me when I’m capable of doing so, they only want to meet when it’s convenient for them. They won’t miss something important for me, but then they get mad when I cant forgo something to meet them.

 

If 4 or 8 PM is too late, offer to meet them the next day. You're not there for just 1 night, right?

 

They're paying to meet you, that's why they want to do it when it's convenient for them. As hot as you're they have other shit going on in their lives, and the can't cancel it. Sometimes even CEOs can't control their own time.

 

Respect should go both ways, your time and theirs matters!

 

I then think if I had a normal 9-5 job, I would likely miss a large majority of clients. Because like I said, evenings seem to be nothing going on anymore, while daytime seems to be when all the requests come in. All in all, my patience is wearing thin, and I’m getting close to just suspending any further escort travels, and only working locally by the end of the year.

 

You can always make a choice in life. A safe job is one of them. Just post in your ad you're only available at night, some won't even read it.

 

Working locally is a way to play safe and a double edged sword. No need for rolling the dice going somewhere and being disappointed while having good and bad weeks. Also no great trips and bad weeks in your home town.

 

I know many of these type of clients are creeping around a spouse and kids, and that’s the other thing that puts the pressure on me...because they’re married/partnered, they can only play on a limited basis. But then it requires me to have superhuman powers to make shit happen. And after awhile, I get tired of having to drop everything in order to accommodate their creepy lifestyle. Regardless, I certainly need a resolution.

 

In Middle America that might be the case but in big cities they might be very open about being gay. Is always great to hire instead of spending (wasting in most cases) time on apps trying to get lucky.

 

I wouldn't say most of the folks who call you for an appointment and have jobs, families, friends, community responsibilities have a creepy lifestyle.

[+ WilliamM]

For me: the main thing that’s making escort less fun nowadays, is that all these guys on Rentmen are simply not available. That’s one reason why I keep my adam4adam profile up.

 

I find myself getting texts and emails around the clock from people in different cities I am in or plan to visit, and by the time we get 3 messages in, I find out they aren’t available. Over the last 2 weeks, my phone has been filled with, “sorry I’m not able to meet” or “I’m not able to meet this time”, or “I’m only available 1 day this week between these 2 hours of time window”, and it’s not the days I’m in town. Some of it is coming from regulars, others are from new clients.

 

I don’t know if it’s the season or what, but it’s getting out of hand. I just don’t understand why people reach out to us, when they don’t have any time to plan anything. Also, I will text someone to confirm an appointment or try to get something set up, they either don’t respond back, or wait until the next day...and by that time I’m waiting and wondering, only to hear they can’t make it.

 

Or, they’ll not respond to the follow up in the timeframe that I need...and then expect me to be available despite not returning my message asking them to confirm. I had a guy in another city I planned to visit, do that the other day. I asked him 2 times to let me know what times he can meet tomorrow, because he ASKED ME if I could see him tomorrow. I didn’t get any response until the next morning. By that point, I made other plans.

 

And then...seems like every time I try to arrange a session, everybody always has to be on a time constraint. Like they can’t ever meet during any other time of day. The media portrays escorting as a night time activity...but the fact is, 60% of my clients want to meet during the day, and it’s often too early in the day for me to meet. The prime time hours between 7 and 11 pm are more and more dead nowadays.

 

People are wanting afternoon sessions, and being that I travel and stay in hotels, meeting between 11 and 2 pm is difficult as that’s the time I go to the gym while the maids clean, or may be checking out/into a hotel during those crucial hours. I’m also traveling during the day and may not arrive into a city until the late afternoon/evening and 9 times out 10 they say it’s too late for them to meet.

 

Sometimes it doesn’t matter when I arrive. If I arrive in town at 8 pm, it’s too late for them. If I arrive at 4 pm, it’s too late for them. If I arrive at 2 pm, it’s still too late for them. It’s never a good time, because they never want to go out their way to meet me when I’m capable of doing so, they only want to meet when it’s convenient for them. They won’t miss something important for me, but then they get mad when I cant forgo something to meet them.

 

I then think if I had a normal 9-5 job, I would likely miss a large majority of clients. Because like I said, evenings seem to be nothing going on anymore, while daytime seems to be when all the requests come in. All in all, my patience is wearing thin, and I’m getting close to just suspending any further escort travels, and only working locally by the end of the year.

 

I know many of these type of clients are creeping around a spouse and kids, and that’s the other thing that puts the pressure on me...because they’re married/partnered, they can only play on a limited basis. But then it requires me to have superhuman powers to make shit happen. And after awhile, I get tired of having to drop everything in order to accommodate their creepy lifestyle. Regardless, I certainly need a resolution.

 

 

Why are you complaining about cancelations by regulars? It makes no sense.

[LookingAround]

I saw the title and knew who wrote it.

[mike carey]

There are escorts and clients out there looking for each other. They clearly think it's worth being out there looking. In the last few days I've messaged several escorts, told them how old I was (even though my RM profile says that anyway) and told them I was not in town just now so couldn't hire in the immediate future. I received positive replies from all of them, not marketing spiels. My conclusion is that the business is alive and well.

[jjkrkwood]

People have second thoughts, change their minds, don't make hiring a PRIORITY, have more important things to do....or perhaps read your many complaints HERE and decide YOU are not the escort for them ?

 

THAT'S LIFE.... most people learn to deal with it. I suggest you do too, or just find another line of work !

[Trick]

We only see one side of the story. The OP almost always posts what inquirers text him to say they’re not going ahead with the appointment. If only we could have those inquirers share the OP’s interactions with them, then we could see both sides.

[Geriatric Otter]

Mocha: I'm guessing none of these callers follow the Forum. If they did, you wouldn't be bothered at all...

[+ Pensant]

Say what you will, @Mocha posts always elicit many replies. They’re like click-bait!

[jjkrkwood]

Say what you will, @Mocha posts always elicit many replies. They’re like click-bait!

 

And that's a Good thing ?

[Mocha]

I wouldn't say most of the folks who call you for an appointment and have jobs, families, friends, community responsibilities have a creepy lifestyle.

 

Good points...

 

Now, when I say “creepy”, I’m being slightly facetious. I don’t mean that they are creeps or creepy...but they be creeping. And I know and understand that. Even the openly gay ones, still have to. Even if they’re not creeping on each other in that sense of the word, they may have other reasons

 

I had a client the other day, he told me about him and his partner and how they have a communicated open relationship. However, it was weird when I had to park down on the street and not in the huge parking lot of a driveway he had. But, I didn’t make a fuss...

 

Then another client, I was fucking him in his living room with baby toys all over the place. Every 10 minutes he would peek outside just to make sure non of his neighbors were outside seeing my car parked in front of the house. I was like dayum, if I woulda known that, id of parked a mile away and just walked lol.

 

As with the hotels again: I have loyalty at all the chains. Like @VictorPowers said, it can be a gamble trying to schedule anyone around 12:30 or noon unless you’re staying there for another day. I have Diamond membership with one hotel chain, and platinum with another. Whether or not they let me check in early or late varies widely with the management and location. Sometimes I’ve checked in as early as 3 am and was able to stay until the next day, other times I was able to check out at 3 pm.

 

But the vast majority of the time, they’re going to say there’s no rooms clean/available and they aren’t checking anyone in early/late. I seen it today, they had a couple guests waiting for 3 hours to check into their room.

 

I almost cursed out the management of Hampton Inn once, because I had arrived into a small town at 8 am from a bus, and then took a cab to get there (this is pre-Uber). I was already up all night riding, and he didn’t want to check me in until noon. I made enough fuss to get a room at 9 am, but I don’t like raising my blood pressure like that every time I go to a hotel, so I rather just not chance checking in early/late.

Edited August 21, 2019 by Mocha

[EZEtoGRU]

Bottom line: They're just not that into you OP...therefore they enquire and then fail to confirm at will. This will likely get worse rather than better as time marches on. Someone more resourceful (and realistically in touch with themselves) would have realized this line of work isn't for them and would have moved onto something more suitable years ago.

[marylander1940]

Bottom line: They're just not that into you OP...therefore they enquire and then fail to confirm at will. This will likely get worse rather than better as time marches on. Someone more resourceful (and realistically in touch with themselves) would have realized this line of work isn't for them and would have moved onto something more suitable years ago.

 

We can always be nicer with folks like @Mocha who are not as anonymous as you and I are on here. If they truly weren't into guys like him they probably would have contact someone else. I guess in your own particular way you're trying to say some of those guys were window shoppers.

 

My post #6 I think gives better advice about how to adapt to business.

 

Black don't crack and @Mocha 's cock is not going to shrink as time goes by.

[Mocha]

Bottom line: They're just not that into you OP...therefore they enquire and then fail to confirm at will. This will likely get worse rather than better as time marches on. Someone more resourceful (and realistically in touch with themselves) would have realized this line of work isn't for them and would have moved onto something more suitable years ago.

 

Well that’s your opinion, but that’s not the facts. It’s not about someone not being “into me”. I’ll prove my case in point:

 

I had a client contact me in DC last week, whom previously contacted me from the same number in Phoenix like 2 years ago. The only conversation we had, was him asking me to come to where he was...me getting some info to come out, and then no response, and then the next day, “hey I’m sorry, I fell asleep”. All this within 20 minutes.

 

Now...I don’t know why I didn’t block him after that, but I musta brushed it off and didn’t even bother thinking twice about it. When he contacted me again 2 years later in DC, I was able to see the previous conversation. But this time, we actually ended up meeting up. Not only was he sexy as fuck, but he couldn’t stay off of me either...and afterwards he texted me again to say how hot I was and how fun we had. And I got my $300.

 

So...it wouldn’t make sense to say these people contacting me aren’t into me. They are into me, otherwise they wouldn’t be reaching out to me. And who are you to say this line of work isn’t for me? Are you the sex worker auditor or governor?

 

If you aren’t doing it, if people aren’t paying you money for what your body and sexual talents have to offer, you have no place to come and tell me that I’m not cut out for this business. It has nothing to do with not being cut out for the business. It has everything to do with getting people to be more proactive in their decisions to contact providers.

 

If someone is going to contact a sex worker, be prepared to make concessions in order to make that contact turn into an appointment. You don’t call Pizza Hut and talk about how much you love pizza, how good the pizza looks, how you would love to taste the pizza and have the sauce roll down your chin...only to say, “sorry, my wife is cooking dinner today. How long are you open?” That’s bullshit. It’s inappropriate. It’s childish. It’s ignorant. It’s rude. It’s inconsiderate. It’s wasteful. So why do I need to sit around and put up with it?

 

If someone has 100 excuses of how busy they are before they even meet, then perhaps THEY’RE not cut out to contact escorts. Ya think?

Edited August 22, 2019 by Mocha

[Mocha]

Why are you complaining about cancelations by regulars? It makes no sense.

 

Well isn’t that why you ask 1st, before getting all uptight about it? I’ll tell you why I’m TALKING about regulars cancelling. By calling it a complaint and saying it doesn’t make sense, you automatically come on the defense without even understanding the extent of it. Why you getting mad at me about something I’m dealing with? That doesn’t make sense.

 

In the case of client B, he had asked me earlier in the week if I would be in the area until Friday. When Friday came, he had to unexpectantly go out of town. Understandable. But then when he returned, we touched base again and he was still unable to meet. I told him at that point, “I will take you that I should just let you reach out to me when you’re ready”. He asked again if I would be in town for the rest of the week. I told him check with me and see, but at this point I’ve already left town because I’m not waiting around on him specifically, considering his previous cancellations. We’ve known each other for going on 3 or 4 years.

 

In addition, there’s another regular client of mine I’ve know since 2015. We always have a good time together (overnights/weekends), but he also tends to habitually cancel. However, he’s more than happy to carry on explicit texts about breeding his White hole (mainly fantasy talk), pumping cum down his throat, and how much he wants to fuck.

 

But so far, it’s been close to 2 years since we’ve last met, and my last 2 attempts to get us fucking again has resulted in, “I’m going out of town this week” and “family is coming into town this weekend”. Okay, that’s wonderful! But I just spent 2 days reading a porn script from him, only for him to say he’s not available.

 

You can call it complaining, but I have a reason to about some things. And my complaints will compel me to move on and end certain client relationships, or stop initiating/engaging with clients who simply aren’t available.

 

I wonder how @Aaron_Bauder feels about all of this. I know he gave some good input previously.

Edited August 22, 2019 by Mocha

[Mocha]

I saw the title and knew who wrote it.

 

[Aaron_Bauder]

Yeah, the flakes and fakes and timewasters are getting worse, exponentially so. The landscape for certain escort demographics has never been great relative to others, and it's getting worse. I've decided it's time to prepare to move on from this industry, and I'm taking steps in that direction. I'll miss meeting people but otherwise not too sad about it, though I have regulars who will be. Not having to deal with stigma, not having to lie to people about what I do, being able to date "civilians"...I feel good about it.

 

Maybe that's a potential course of action for the OP.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Not having to deal with stigma, not having to lie to people about what I do, being able to date "civilians"

 

As a career escort, I have found that concealing what I do from people is the exact opposite way to a healthy, normal life.

 

People will either accept you or they won't... And to me, it's better knowing up-front who's the asshole. I have no room in my life for friends who can't deal with who I am and what I do. Stigma is best left for people who have shame about what they're doing.

 

Dating: I don't see why escorting should be an issue. Again, it just takes honesty and maturity. It's more than possible.

 

I truly hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck out there

[Aaron_Bauder]

People will either accept you or they won't... And to me, it's better knowing up-front who's the asshole. I have no room in my life for friends who can't deal with who I am and what I do. Stigma is best left for people who have shame about what they're doing.

 

Dating: I don't see why escorting should be an issue. Again, it just takes honesty and maturity. It's more than possible.

 

Thanks for the luck and prayers lol

 

People are different. I once told a friend who kept demanding another friend come out to certain people to please stop it. I explained why it was not safe (physically, financially, and socially) for said friend to come out yet, or maybe ever depending on certain variables. I counseled him to have the maturity to know that not every gay man enjoys the exact same privileges as he and I did, to live openly.

 

I have made the choices on what's best and what's right for me and my background and circumstances, with relative success -- recognizing that there are gray areas and no perfect choices. I'm talented, smart, and blessed to be good at many things and great with people. I'm excited to be old enough now to trust my decision-making ability, and I am fully confident that I will thrive. Thank you for the well wishes.

Edited August 23, 2019 by Aaron_Bauder

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Thanks for the luck and prayers

 

Luck, yes. Prayers, no. That's not my style

[Mocha]

Yeah, the flakes and fakes and timewasters are getting worse, exponentially so. The landscape for certain escort demographics has never been great relative to others, and it's getting worse. I've decided it's time to prepare to move on from this industry, and I'm taking steps in that direction. I'll miss meeting people but otherwise not too sad about it, though I have regulars who will be. Not having to deal with stigma, not having to lie to people about what I do, being able to date "civilians"...I feel good about it.

 

Maybe that's a potential course of action for the OP.

 

I wish I could put double-emojis. It is sad that it’s come to that, but I like how you said it otherwise.