I feel miserable

[+ purplekow]

Condolences on the loss of your partner.

 

Perhaps it is time to consider what need you're hoping to fill with these encounters. It is not realistic to have the idea that you are going to meet a long term partner on grindr. That app is not for men with open hearts or emotional desires. That app is to get your rocks off. Your friend was doing what 20 somethings do and what some 5o somethings think they want to do. But in reading through this thread, you repeatedly berate yourself for not being enough...sexy enough...horny enough...tough enough. Really not being 20 something enough.

So my advice to you is to figure out what you are hoping to do with your 50 something life, sex life, love life etc....and then start doing things that will satisfy that. If you want to have sex with 20 somethings, there is a price for that...they think like they are 20 something, they act like they are 20 something and they have no idea what it is like to be 50 something and they especially do not know that it is like to be a 50 something who remembers what it was like to be a 20 something and feels as though they did not do enough with that time. So don't expect much in the way of understanding.

Perhaos you ought to consider that there is more to a partnership than the physical. I am sure you had those things with your partner, You may never exactly duplicate those things again, but my guess is that you are more likely to find satisfaction with an older, wiser and perhaps handsomely mature man than you are with a twink and the rest of the Hostess family. Consider that a more mature man or more mature escort might be a better match especially if sex is not a prime mover anymore or at least not the primer mover it once was.

If all you want for now is young hot men, do not expect them to be anything more than that.

I am a more than 50 something and I enjoy several great relationships with escorts. The sex is usually great. And if they add a bit of emotional support and loving feelings, well that is all a bonus. They are all close to your age and still sexy as hell. Their talented fingers on not wasted on apps, at least in my company, but rather those fingers are kept busy doing their best to bring me comfort and pleasure.

[Dtxstudfinder]

Thanks. I am still learning what I want, what I expect, and so on. I know I'm not looking for a partner again. Just looking for occasional fun with guys I never really got the chance to experience when i was young. I'm sure like everyone here you've had good ones and ones where you wish you had your money and time back.

[LookingAround]

The guy sounds amazing. Feel free to give him my number.

[mr.rose123]

Honestly the reality is you're paying them for sex and they will hopefully provide a good service. Nothing else. If you want friends i would go to your LGBT community center(s).

[MscleLovr]

I am still learning what I want, what I expect, and so on. I know I'm not looking for a partner again. Just looking for occasional fun with guys

 

I feel you’ve had several helpful comments here @Dtxstudfinder but I wouldn’t beat yourself up or over-analyse it. I can relate to your situation. I too am a top only and I too like young attractive jocks.

 

FWIW I had a very long-term relationship end 20 years ago and it was difficult to get back into the ‘dating game’ after so many years together. What helped me was crafting a good profile on online sites and joining a gym for regular workouts with personal trainers. I basically went on a lot of dates with men who seemed nice, and I got myself very fit and in good physical shape for a man in his mid40s.

 

Getting very fit gave me more physical confidence. Going on a lot of dates showed me what was out there. I had a decent social life and I certainly kissed a lot of frogs. I also met and dated a few very attractive escorts and that helped me renew my libido; they also taught me some new moves in bed. (I will add here that I do have an old friend who also lost his partner about the same time as me. He has shut himself off from life, never dates and only goes on vacation if I invite him. I find that very sad and I don’t want you to go the same way).

 

I don’t regret what I did. And perhaps it prepared me to respond well when my ‘ideal man’ came into my life more than 5 years ago. I don’t want you to lose heart, but I do want you to put yourself out there and rediscover joy in life.

[+ Eric Hassan]

What is it that the kid did that was wrong since they both wanted the same thing at first? Hot twenty somethings filling his bedroom. I think it was naive on both of them to think that it was a good idea but it takes two to tango.

 

The OP seemed, to me, to be upset that, during the attempt to use the app to cruise, there were some nasty things said about him that the "kid" didn't address - either with the offending parties or the guy. I was addressing his upset, not the choice to use the app, which the OP seemed to say it was not only something they had done before, but that he was willing to do again. That doesn't mean that when it goes awry there is nothing to do about it, or that it's "his fault" - he was upset, the service provider didn't get it or address it, and it's my opinion that if you're hired for this kind of job, when something does goes awary, you don't sit on "it takes two to tango," but you step the fuck up and make it right.

 

And to your point, yes it was probably naive to think it was a good idea. It can work out great, but it can also spell disaster. And yes, it might have been better that the OP address this with the guy, but I imagine that would have been hard to do in the moment.

[caliguy]

You're right, there is blame on both sides. He took care of my needs and while still in bed he was on Grindr. I wasn't asking for more, I know my limits and we both knew I was done for the day. Since he gave me a discount I felt like he could do his own thing too. When the group found out I was going to be around and I saw the hateful comments, yeah I felt bad for several reasons, my body not being able to perform again and the things they said got to me, and my escort disappointed because he wanted more guys made feel even more inadequate. So yeah, not all on him, I am definitely disappointed with myself though. I'm learning.

Sounds like you've had some success in the past so why now get involved with it next time. Not just a bunch of guys coming over for your twink friend. That or just leave the kids and go for say a 30 something at least. I wouldn't even touch a 20 yo. As one commenter said. He just sprouted pubic hair a few years ago. Just way too young IMO.

[Rudynate]

I also need to quit trying to please every escort I do overnights with. I don't want to hire a second or get a Grindr guy just for them. Im a once and done guy. Each time that has happened in the past I just end up watching two guys have a great time while I'm sitting there limp. Realizing my age is another form of depression.

 

 

You're paying them - they're supposed to be pleasing you.

[SFGuy88]

It’s been wonderful to read such supportive comments. One of the things that really bothered me was that your friend showed you the comments that people wrote about your age/picture. I think it would have been nicer for him to say that a group scene just doesn’t seem to be working out or something like that. Unless I am missing something, it seems like a rather cruel thing to do.

[Rudynate]

It’s been wonderful to read such supportive comments. One of the things that really bothered me was that your friend showed you the comments that people wrote about your age/picture. I think it would have been nicer for him to say that a group scene just doesn’t seem to be working out or something like that. Unless I am missing something, it seems like a rather cruel thing to do.

 

 

The world is full of people like that. The only remedy is a thick hide.

[+ nycman]

Unless I am missing something, it seems like a rather cruel thing to do.

“Cruelty is the surest sign of stupidity.”

― Marty Rubin

[DallasClient]

I think we all have had some experiences with escorts that ended with a little buyer's remorse. I flew a hot guy from North Carolina to Dallas and his pics did not have him wearing glasses. I wear glasses so no big deal right? Well these glasses were the really thick ones that expanded his eyes really big and it was a bit off-putting. He kept them on during making out and stuff and I had him take them off. Poor thing was blind as a bat without them. He was fine and everything but I knew I wouldn't hire him again.

 

We all have our quirks that some might find cute or funny and some would find repulsive. It doesn't have anything to do with your age or body type. There are great escorts in Dallas so we are blessed. I gave you a list of nice ones and I hope you enjoy any or all of them!

[marylander1940]

AMEN.

 

A good escort is focused on you and your experience and would have made sure you knew that. I understand you might have agreed to app cruising but when it got nasty, that was his chance to show you what you paid for. That's not on you, dude.

 

Exactly!

 

Whoever came up with the idea of using the escort as bait should have known most of the unpaid guys (grindr) weren't daddy chasers but interest in guys similar to them like the 20 y/o escort.

[Dtxstudfinder]

Exactly!

 

Whoever came up with the idea of using the escort as bait should have known most of the unpaid guys (grindr) weren't daddy chasers but interest in guys similar to them like the 20 y/o escort.

 

 

Remember, I didn't want a group. My escort and I both finished. He then want to be topped a lot more than I could physically do. He wanted to bring Grindr guys over so they could fuck. I wasn't going to leave my house and yeah I probably would want to watch and stuff and I said he better tell them I was there. That's when the convo became vile towards me. They wanted me to leave my own house so my escort could fuck a group of guys. I told him no. Then I laid there feeling like shit for not satisfying my escort and seeing their comments about me just drilled feeling into my mind how horrible a person I was. Yes I blew it out of proportion, my escort should not have put his 20 year old needs on my 50 year old shoulders. I felt inadequate on so many levels.

[Dtxstudfinder]

I spent a lot of time trying to please my escort sexually and otherwise. I don't have a lot of money. I have not pay but the minimum on a credit card to have paid for this visit. I should not have had him over and that's my fault too.

[ScottyTX100]

If you want a friend, adopt a dog.

[Mike Smith 2]

If you want a friend, adopt a dog.

Are you incapable of accepting this persons emotions and his needs as a human. “Get a dog”. What a BS statement. Maybe the next time you are feeling lonely and require companionship from these services you should go “get a dog” ?

[marylander1940]

Remember, I didn't want a group. My escort and I both finished. He then want to be topped a lot more than I could physically do. He wanted to bring Grindr guys over so they could fuck. I wasn't going to leave my house and yeah I probably would want to watch and stuff and I said he better tell them I was there. That's when the convo became vile towards me. They wanted me to leave my own house so my escort could fuck a group of guys. I told him no. Then I laid there feeling like shit for not satisfying my escort and seeing their comments about me just drilled feeling into my mind how horrible a person I was. Yes I blew it out of proportion, my escort should not have put his 20 year old needs on my 50 year old shoulders. I felt inadequate on so many levels.

 

Exactly! You were paying and in charge, he was working. Just tell him to do something else.

[marylander1940]

Don’t you remember how stupid and insensitive you were at 20? You were a heat seeking missle looking to do and be done without regard to the other guy’s feelings. Your 20 year old self would never look at a 50 year old as a source for frolicking all night long.

 

Why would you allow those 20 year old stupid jerks space in your brain? You have far more success, sensitivity and intelligence than to allow their young, smug, inexperienced and insensitive opinions as judgement in your mind.

 

Maybe you were like that but I wasn’t. Some guys over here crave 20-year-old guys. How do you know someone is smarter and more successful than the average 20-year-old? Don’t we have some poor guys on here? How can you compare in success a 20-year-old with someone who is 50 who was born in a whole different world that was less competitive? This isn’t the first time lately that I feel resentment toward younger people

[DallasClient]

Some guys over here crave 20-year-old guys.

 

I'm one of those - LOVE 18-27ish!

 

I'm early 50s, partner is early 60s. I love the bodies of younger and minds of older

[marylander1940]

I'm one of those - LOVE 18-27ish!

 

I'm early 50s, partner is early 60s. I love the bodies of younger and minds of older

 

You're not one of those... you're one of MANY! Including me!

 

I hope you don't assume they're not as smart and successful as the average 50/60 y/o guy like @instudiocity ! For instance they multitask by nature and learn new technologies faster than previous generations. They're more imaginative and competitive.

[DallasClient]

You're not one of those... you're one of MANY! Including me!

 

I hope you don't assume they're not as smart and successful as the average 50/60 y/o guy like @instudiocity ! For instance they multitask by nature and learn new technologies faster than previous generations. They're more imaginative and competitive.

 

No, I don't assume that at all. They are actually very smart and much more smarter than I was at the time. In some ways I wish I was their age again but in most ways, I'm glad I'm not. Being in this "business" I have learned you can't stereotype anyone based on age. I have been with pre-med guys and a few that have no other desire in life than to play videogames and smoke 420. But I love them all LOL

[marylander1940]

No, I don't assume that at all. They are actually very smart and much more smarter than I was at the time. In some ways I wish I was their age again but in most ways, I'm glad I'm not. Being in this "business" I have learned you can't stereotype anyone based on age. I have been with pre-med guys and a few that have no other desire in life than to play videogames and smoke 420. But I love them all LOL

 

Brilliant! Unfortunately there's some resentment/misunderstanding from some forum members towards young millennials and post-millennials.

[ScottyTX100]

Are you incapable of accepting this persons emotions and his needs as a human. “Get a dog”. What a BS statement. Maybe the next time you are feeling lonely and require companionship from these services you should go “get a dog” ?

 

Actually, I would. I sure wouldn’t come here looking for sympathy.

[Mike Smith 2]

Actually, I would. I sure wouldn’t come here looking for sympathy.

Then why are you here?