Things You Learn About Yourself Through This Hobby

[RyanDean]

I have nowhere else to share this so y'all get to be the lucky recipients...

I booked a massage today. The massage was very very good, the masseur was very attractive and the ending was suitably "happy." Even so, as I left, I thought: "Meh... not sure I need to do that again." (Which has basically been my takeaway the other two times I hired for massage.) As I then walked across town, I got to thinking about how much I enjoyed myself at Adonis/Evolve the night before. I spent roughly the same amount of time. Spent about the same amount of money. Most of the guys were about as straight as this masseur. And even though there was plenty of "meh" about the experience at Adonis/Evolve, I recalled how I left thinking: "That was fun. I definitely need to do that again."

 

Together, these experiences reminded me of something I sorta already know about myself, but regularly forget: when it comes to this hobby, I like being able to look at a gent, to chat (maybe flirt) with him, and to touch his body. (And to do other things too, but it all starts for me with looking/touching/chatting.) And, yeah, in a massage you're generally not chatting or looking at the gent, in part because you're mostly face down with your eyes closed. And when it comes to touching him, it totally depends on the guy (in a way that stresses me out). And, yeah, I'm not especially comfortable with/in my body, so massage is tricky for me in other ways as well. (I also realize, in part due to @Milo Farnsworth's quickie question, that looking/touching/chatting typically takes up 1/2 to 2/3 of the time I spend with a gent even in an "escort" situation.)

 

So as tempting as a massage can be (especially in terms of price and logistical convenience), I confirmed today -- once again -- that massage is just not my thing even as I was reminded that strippers/lapdances can totally work for me (especially in terms of price and convenience)...but that hiring for more is definitely my preference.

 

Not a major life lesson, to be sure. But one I seem to have to learn again and again.

Edited July 12, 2019 by RyanDean

[rvwnsd]

I feel the same as you do about massage. Unless I "need a massage" i.e. my back or shoulders are bothering me, the massage is not really satisfying for the reasons you mentioned.

 

We could call this "Chicken Soup for the Libido."

[+ newatthis]

I have nowhere else to share this so y'all get to be the lucky recipients...

I booked a massage today. The massage was very very good, the masseur was very attractive and the ending was suitably "happy." Even so, as I left, I thought: "Meh... not sure I need to do that again." (Which has basically been my takeaway the other two times I hired for massage.) As I then walked across town, I got to thinking about how much I enjoyed myself at Adonis/Evolve the night before. I Spent roughly the same amount of time. Spent about the same amount of money. Most of the guys were about as straight as this masseur. And even though there was plenty of "meh" about the experience at Adonis/Evolve, I recalled how I left thinking: "That was fun. I definitely need to do that again."

 

Together, these experiences reminded me of something I sorta already know about myself, but regularly forget: when it comes to this hobby, I like being able to look at a gent, to chat (maybe flirt) with him, and to touch his body. (And to do other things too, but it all starts for me with looking/touching/chatting.) And, yeah, in a massage you're generally not chatting or looking at the gent, in part because you're mostly face down with your eyes closed. And when it comes to touching him, it totally depends on the guy (in a way that stresses me out). And, yeah, I'm not especially comfortable with/in my body, so massage is tricky for me in other ways as well. (I also realize, in part due to @Milo Farnsworth's quickie question, that looking/touching/chatting typically takes up 1/2 to 2/3 of the time I spend with a gent even in an "escort" situation.)

 

So as tempting as a massage can be (especially in terms of price and logistical convenience), I confirmed today -- once again -- that massage is just not my thing even as I was reminded that strippers/lapdances can totally work for me (especially in terms of price and convenience)...but that hiring for more is definitely my preference.

 

Not a major life lesson, to be sure. But one seem to have to learn again and again.

All of us have different reactions to various erotic experiences. We learn with experience what's important or crucial, what's "meh," and what kills our libidos. For me what's tricky is that those reactions are not necessarily stable; they can very much depend on the moment and/or the partner. I've had to learn (or maybe still am learning) how to read myself in the moment AND how to be open to new experiences.

[RyanDean]

All of us have different reactions to various erotic experiences. We learn with experience what's important or crucial, what's "meh," and what kills our libidos. For me what's tricky is that those reactions are not necessarily stable; they can very much depend on the moment and/or the partner. I've had to learn (or maybe still am learning) how to read myself in the moment AND how to be open to new experiences.

 

Totally, totally... And this hobby has been extraordinarily powerful for me in terms of helping me reactivate my sense of my own body and my libido -- often by opening up new erotic awarenesses which usually happened when I allowed myself to enjoy going with the flow with a particular gent.

 

But since this hobby can be so unpredictable, I find it's also about balancing the inevitable "meh" experience. So being clear about what I reliably do and don't like can help a lot when deciding among options. A goofy analogy that seems apt here: I go to the theatre a lot... And I know that I can still find things to enjoy about the experience of a bad/mediocre musical, but that I find the experience of a truly bad/mediocre play is nearly intolerable. So I tend to be more willing to risk disappointment with musicals... And I guess this week's experiences have confirmed that, even when I'm underwhelmed in a lapdance or escort situation, I can find much to enjoy.

[+ Charlie]

For me, message is a physically therapeutic experience, while sex is a psychologically therapeutic experience. I prefer not to combine the two experiences, which is why I would not hire a masseur for sex. The few times that I tried to hire a masseur for both, I found the combined experience unsatisfying.

[Rudynate]

I lIke a particular kind of massage experience. It used to be, if you hired for an erotic massage, you could count on a happy ending. Not so much anymore. I always hire for therapeutic massages because I'm not disappointed if it doesn't lead to sex. What I have found is that a lot of these massages that started out therapeutic end in full-on sex on the massage table. Thats the kind of massage experience that I like. Theres an element of surprise because you don't know for sure that its going to turn out that way.

[+ nycman]

What I’ve learned.....I learned a long time ago...from The Stones:

 

[RyanDean]

What I have found is that a lot of these massages that started out therapeutic end in full-on sex on the massage table. Thats the kind of massage experience that I like. .

 

I can imagine!

I must, because I have never experienced such a massage.

[cany10011]

i have a nice japanese massage chair and it provides all the necessary tapping/stretching/kneading for post-gym, post travel muscle relaxation. Most escorts i have met are not really good at massage and i'd prefer to hire them just for the "fun" aspects. My poor married brother claims that my massage chair is better than sex...I respectfully disagree.

[+ FrankR]

i have a nice japanese massage chair and it provides all the necessary tapping/stretching/kneading for post-gym, post travel muscle relaxation. Most escorts i have met are not really good at massage and i'd prefer to hire them just for the "fun" aspects. My poor married brother claims that my massage chair is better than sex...I respectfully disagree.

Do tell us the brand and model! Very few of them are FDA approved...and those that are, are pretty expensive. (A little off topic, but inquiring minds want to know!) ?

[cany10011]

Do tell us the brand and model! Very few of them are FDA approved...and those that are, are pretty expensive. (A little off topic, but inquiring minds want to know!) ?

 

I have an earlier model Panasonic from about 13 years ago. It is pretty basic but does all the tricks. Although if i had a chance i would buy a newer model with the air bags and foot massage feature. I tried one recently by a brand called "Infinity" and it was really good. However, it has a very large form factor and not really appropriate with the minimalist aesthetics of my place.

 

If you go to Fort Lee or Sunset Park, there are some asian massage chair retailers that let you try their chairs. From what I've seen the prices seem more reasonable than the 8-10 K chairs offered in the brand name stores. I haven't tried negotiating but i think you can get a good price at one of those places if you are adventurous and a good negotiator

 

My korean friend swears by a heated "jade" stone shiatsu/accupressure bed. It is extremely painful, but you do feel like a new person after using it.

Edited July 15, 2019 by cany10011

[+ purplekow]

I have gone to various medical conferences where the advertisers included massage chair venders. I sampled many and I am sorry that I did not purchase one. There were many nice models in the range of 2500 to 3000 dollars