Funerals?

[+ Avalon]

How long after a person dies should there be the funeral?

 

When my grandmothers and parents died the funerals were only a few days later.

 

But on the British soap opera "Coronation Street" there was a death (suicide) several weeks ago and the funeral is just being held. I understand that a long time gap is common in England.

 

I think the sooner the better so one can move on.

[Rudynate]

I think with the trend toward cremation followed by memorial service, there can be a fairly long interval between death and the funeral. My mother died in late March and we didn't have her funeral until the middle of April.

[+ bashful]

My parents were from "the old country", northern Europe. My mother told me it was customary for funerals to be many days later, perhaps as long as a week, to assemble people.

 

As a kid, I remember a friend of my mother's talking about when she was a child, and it was the custom (in her neighborhood the US) to have the deceased lie in state at their home. She was telling the story that when she was a little girl, she and her friend were walking by a home where someone had passed, but the family, instead of allowing people in the house, had a ladder outside the bay window, so those who wanted, could climb up and have a look. She and her girlfriend climbed the ladder.

Edited June 14, 2018 by bashful

[rvwnsd]

I think with the trend toward cremation followed by memorial service, there can be a fairly long interval between death and the funeral. My mother died in late March and we didn't have her funeral until the middle of April.

When my mom passed, the church told us they could accommodate us the following week. My brother looked the priest in the eye and said "Father, with all due respect my brother has to get back home to San Diego. If you can't have the memorial service before Friday we will have to go somewhere else."

 

Service was Thursday at 10:00.

 

When my dad passed they got us in right away, too.

[+ purplekow]

Well you know what they say about the funeral business, people are dying to get in. I have found that the services to which I have gone, the person had usually passed a day or two prior. Unexpected deaths may take a bit longer.

[Rudynate]

My parents were from "the old country", northern Europe. My mother told me it was customary for funerals to be many days later, perhaps as long as a week, to assemble people.

 

As a kid, I remember a friend of my mother's talking about when she was a child, and it was the custom (in her neighborhood the US) to have the deceased lie in state at their home. She was telling the story that when she was a little girl, she and her friend were walking by a home where someone had passed, but the family, instead of allowing people in the house, had a ladder outside the bay window, so those who wanted, could climb up and have a look. She and her girlfriend climbed the ladder.

 

When I was a little kid - a distant relative laid in state at home. They lived in an isolated, rural part of the state where people still did things the old-fashioned way. We weren't allowed at the funeral because my parents thought that little kids didn't belong at funerals. We staid with some neighbors down the road. We stood in the front yard and watched as the pallbearers brought the casket out the front door and down the front steps. They were professionals, all dressed identically, and walked in step, carrying the casket on their shoulders. It seemed like such a grand end for a modest little old lady.

[+ Avalon]

I think with the trend toward cremation followed by memorial service, there can be a fairly long interval between death and the funeral. My mother died in late March and we didn't have her funeral until the middle of April.

 

As a person who worked at a mortuary for a couple of years I'm a strong believer in cremation!

 

I think that funeral costs are outlandish! My ideal would be to pick up the body the same day of death and ashes returned within 24 hours.

 

I don't deal well with grief. I cried when my mother but not when my father died. The anniversary of my mother's death still affects me.

[+ Funguy]

We of the Jewish persuasion have to have the funeral within 2 days or so.

We did have an exception - my aunt died while my parents were on a cruise and did not return for 10 days. Dear old (98) aunt had to wait to enter the Pearly Gates

(Rabbi was pissed.)

[Rudynate]

We of the Jewish persuasion have to have the funeral within 2 days or so.

We did have an exception - my aunt died while my parents were on a cruise and did not return for 10 days. Dear old (98) aunt had to wait to enter the Pearly Gates

(Rabbi was pissed.)

 

The entire funeral has to be in two days or burial?

[+ Avalon]

We of the Jewish persuasion have to have the funeral within 2 days or so.

We did have an exception - my aunt died while my parents were on a cruise and did not return for 10 days. Dear old (98) aunt had to wait to enter the Pearly Gates

(Rabbi was pissed.)

 

That idea of having a funeral within two days is a great idea! Do Jews embalm? Is there a casket or is a person wrapped in a shroud and placed in the ground?

[+ Funguy]

Funeral and burial.

No embalming and yes, there is a coffin - usually an expensive one - OR, if orthodox or even conservative, a very plain wooden box.

 

Not even supposed to cremate but more and more being done.

[+ Avalon]

Funeral and burial.

No embalming and yes, there is a coffin - usually an expensive one - OR, if orthodox or even conservative, a very plain wooden box.

 

Not even supposed to cremate but more and more being done.

 

Thank-you!

[body2body]

A very close friend died in the early 90s of AIDS. He was Jewish and the funeral happened very quickly (perhaps the next day). There was no embalming, there was a simple service, his simple wooden casket was at the front of the room. After the service was finished his friends and family carried the casket up to his grave site and put it in the grave. Then we covered his casket with soil. None of this putting a small handfull of soil on the casket, we used shovels and completely covered the casket.

Then everyone went back to his house. It was very direct and honest. There was a sense of finality in the participation of the mourners that I had never experienced before. I preferred it to the Christian services I have attended with the embalmed bodies often displayed and made up to appear “life like”. I found that this service really helped me to grieve due to the directness and acknowledgement of the death.

[+ honcho]

As a person who worked at a mortuary for a couple of years I'm a strong believer in cremation!

 

I think that funeral costs are outlandish! My ideal would be to pick up the body the same day of death and ashes returned within 24 hours.

 

I don't deal well with grief. I cried when my mother but not when my father died. The anniversary of my mother's death still affects me.

 

I just went through this drill back in early march, having my Mom's remains cremated. In Orange County, at least, if you want somebody cremated, the funeral home is required to pick up the body within 4 hours. If it outside of normal working hours, you get hit with a surcharge ( but it would only an additional $50- $100 more than the usual $750 total).

 

However, they could not proceed with the cremation until the death certificate got issued, and that was nearly two weeks later. The attending physician had to file some paperwork concerning cause of death, and it just took a while. There was no extra charge keeping Mom in cold storage for that length of time.

 

If this seems a bit cold and calculating, let it be said that my Mom had become progressively more and more demented over a decade, refusing to acknowledge that anything was wrong with her, and become increasing hostile to everybody she dealt with. I did so much grieving and experienced so much stress over such a long period of time, that there was nothing left at the end but relief and a small measure of guilt.

[samhexum]

[Bargara Leatherboy]

In the Jewish faihtnthenrules are before Sabbath. So if someone dies on Friday morning, it's a bug rush to get it done before sunset.

 

Yhe Muslim faith are very similar.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

In the Jewish faihtnthenrules are before Sabbath. So if someone dies on Friday morning, it's a bug rush to get it done before sunset.

 

Yhe Muslim faith are very similar.

[+ Pensant]

Interesting how Americans largely use the verb “pass” rather than simply “die”.

[+ Pensant]

Interesting how Americans largely use the verb “pass” rather than simply “die”.

[JayCeeKy]

[JayCeeKy]

[EZEtoGRU]

Many South Americans bury their dead very quickly....usually within 24 hours of death. There can be exceptions but it is usually very fast. I tend to believe that faster is better.

[EZEtoGRU]

Many South Americans bury their dead very quickly....usually within 24 hours of death. There can be exceptions but it is usually very fast. I tend to believe that faster is better.

[+ bigjoey]

I just went through this drill back in early march, having my Mom's remains cremated. In Orange County, at least, if you want somebody cremated, the funeral home is required to pick up the body within 4 hours. If it outside of normal working hours, you get hit with a surcharge ( but it would only an additional $50- $100 more than the usual $750 total).

 

However, they could not proceed with the cremation until the death certificate got issued, and that was nearly two weeks later. The attending physician had to file some paperwork concerning cause of death, and it just took a while. There was no extra charge keeping Mom in cold storage for that length of time.

 

If this seems a bit cold and calculating, let it be said that my Mom had become progressively more and more demented over a decade, refusing to acknowledge that anything was wrong with her, and become increasing hostile to everybody she dealt with. I did so much grieving and experienced so much stress over such a long period of time, that there was nothing left at the end but relief and a small measure of guilt.

 

When my father died in Orange County, Ca, it took over a week to get a death certificate issued. Bureaucracy at its best.

[+ bigjoey]

I just went through this drill back in early march, having my Mom's remains cremated. In Orange County, at least, if you want somebody cremated, the funeral home is required to pick up the body within 4 hours. If it outside of normal working hours, you get hit with a surcharge ( but it would only an additional $50- $100 more than the usual $750 total).

 

However, they could not proceed with the cremation until the death certificate got issued, and that was nearly two weeks later. The attending physician had to file some paperwork concerning cause of death, and it just took a while. There was no extra charge keeping Mom in cold storage for that length of time.

 

If this seems a bit cold and calculating, let it be said that my Mom had become progressively more and more demented over a decade, refusing to acknowledge that anything was wrong with her, and become increasing hostile to everybody she dealt with. I did so much grieving and experienced so much stress over such a long period of time, that there was nothing left at the end but relief and a small measure of guilt.

 

When my father died in Orange County, Ca, it took over a week to get a death certificate issued. Bureaucracy at its best.