JB_Studio38

That escort in question sounds like self absorbed, and that is absolutely 100%, not the answer to give to a client. I mean, I've given/give clients some brusque responses as well...but there's no reason to be a downright dick about shit. If I cancel, I will absolutely give a plausible reason. A client does deserve an explanation, likewise does an escort. Only a man of low integrity would think otherwise. Even if someone fucked up, just say it. Overscheduled, bad day, car broke down...it'll at-least give enlightenment to the situation, and avoid hard feelings. What you talk about is almost similar to my recent post about client sex versus hookup sex, and why hookups tend to be less consistent in the long run, despite the fact that they're getting something "pro bono". My personal experience, and reason why I don't fuck with many, if any other escorts nowadays: with the exception of the gracious guys on this site...most of the escorts out there ain't about shit. Just like most of the guys on hookup apps ain't about shit. Fuck em once, and turn em loose is mostly what they're good for. Not a goddamn, MF-ing thang else. Not because they're actually bad people, but because they're only about themselves. They see exchanges as what they can get out of it, not what the other person can get out of it. Just because someone posts an ad on the internet naked, doesn't give them clout. Lot of these guys be on drugs, be using fake pics, are half straight guys trying to play gay, in an open relationship, or only do it as a sport, not a career.

Sometimes I find if you’re using a public WiFi like your gym or Walmart, it’ll automatically block access to any “porny” like sites. I have good 5g, but my phones will still auto connect to open networks that I’ve already signed into previously.

That's so true. And equally sad. And I'll add: With everything going on about ethnic relations and BL'sM, I think it goes even a little deeper. Being that most of the guys, in most cities I come across are White guys (and admittedly are the ones who seem to hit me up and go thru with hookups the most). I think there's this unspoken truth that many White guys only go as far as hooking up and having sex with BLMs. Anything deeper like a friendship or relationship, only happens every so often. If it and when it does, I always find its because the Black dude has something the White guy wants: Usually a happening career, big social network, or access to the "parTy scene.". Having a BBC is usually not enough. At least for White guys under 50 lol. I find the older White guys usually have less requirements and expectations, hence why client relationships have worked so well for me lol. I'm just like, it's 2020. Why are gays still thinking and operating like it's 1950...when our straight counterparts are dating, getting married, and having interracial kids together... meanwhile it's so fucking hard to find ONE, who's not just in it for the sexual aspect. BUT....I'm also not saying black on black gay relationships just happen easily either. The last time I had anotha brotha ask me on a date, and take me...was last August in D.C. for my birthday. And that was like once in a lifetime because it was also a fancy restaurant lol. But of course, location location location. I'm almost just resolving to accept it. I guess it's not the worse thing to have a different guy sucking me off or getting fucked every week. I mean, I don't even have to jerk off considering anytime I'm not having sex, I'm replenishing my loads lol. At the same time, it's just so shallow. I don't mind fucking on the 1st meet, but if they can't fulfill my social aspects of things, it's only half the satisfaction.

The waiter in question doesn't sound like he was an escort. He just happened to be one of those "kept" guys. Those types are different and they feel more privileged than being an actual escort. They're a different breed all together. What do you define as the sexual marketplace? A site where gays are on? And what do you define places that are not like that? Applebees? The grocery store? The gym? Lol. I mean let's be real: Unless a person already was "born into" a social scene (either due to their job, having lived in the same city all or most of their life, or live in the city), where can other gays meet that's not sexual BUT can leave the door open for sex. E.g., avoiding hitting on a straight guy? Obviously hookup apps popular for a reason because the same guys are on there for years. I go thru phases myself where I delete the app, but with the closing of bars due to COVID, that really allowed 0 ways of connecting with other gays outside of clients. I've even do the occasional gym and restaurant "hit", Most times those never lead to more than just getting a Facebook or Instagram handle. Only been handful of times in life, that I met someone in public and it lead to something. It seems most interactions start from hookup apps as starters, and it either goes 3 directions: turns into friends, turns into a couple more hookups, or just never meet up again. And until I fully move out of the miserable Kansas Shitty market, client biz. continues to be sparse. However there are times I just like to tune it out and focus on clients.

And in cases like this, I've grown to just move on most of the time. Lot of times it don't be worth trying to get them to "be real". At the same time, I do occasionally call guys out if I sense there's no salvaging the relationship any further, and they're being blatantly passive aggressive. Just like in the above response. It's SO FUNNY because, it always gets guys talking...once you call them out on their shit. Then they want to try and protect their integrity, knowing goddamn well they don't have a single fucking ounce of it. But most times, it's not worth it. Lot of these guys are overly inflated trash bags. They only use apps and hookups to get ego boosts. To make themselves feel good about themselves for a short time, and then go back to whatever fake pretend life they live behind the scenes. I been doing this for 20 years, have seen it and heard it all. Like the escort who has been hounding me to fuck him raw, then got mad when I told him I'm not looking to meet on a sex first basis, especially if he's not trying to be on my justforfans. Why the fuck would I want to fuck, just for the sake it? Lol. I was saying on my Facebook the other day: being gay is not a noun. It's a verb. Something that's "done", versus something that "is". But I know that's not how gay people should see things. But I'm just seeing it for how they see it.

Selfish is the key word. That's what majority of the people there are. I just had an "argument" with a guy from an app I've met last month. For one, it took a whole year to actually meet (didn't live in same town, but only an hour out). Now that we have met and had a hot time and he even seemed up to meet again, he has made 0 effort to try and get us in the same place. Always claims to be working, or being invited to different parties and get togethers... yet has not 1 time asked or invited me to go. Just says he can't invite anyone. I finally called him out on it today. I'm not fixing to be wasting my time on someone who clearly can't be bothered to involve me in anything they do. He seems to have various excuses about how it's private, or he can't invite anybody, and doesn't want to have to worry about someone. Whatever the fuck that means. But yet he says he does want to meet again, and it wasn't a 1 time thing. blah blah blah Just fucking say you don't want to bring me because you feel some shame or don't think I'll feel welcomed. Guys be having 100 excuses. Idk why they try to hold onto something that they know they're not invested in anyway. I'm smart enough to pull the plug if I have to.

...I’m sure there wouldn’t be any complaints about the heavier cub in this photo lol. Perfect conclusion. It does. But one thing I’ve noticed, COVID19 has “killed off” a lot of Timewasters ? But maybe now at least people understand, it’s not funny or amusing to waste the time of someone on the frontlines, risking their health. Maybe now they realize it’s a sick, unhealthy, and weird thing to do. Some still haven’t learned, and continue...but they’ll get theirs.

I know an escort like that who lives in my area. Everytime he messaged me, it was about fucking his hole. Finally I told him, “dude...you said you wanted to be travel buddies, but all you’ve ever put on the table is fucking you”. We’ve not actually met because it was always, come over now and fuck. Maybe he’s that type of provider, but I’m not that type of provider. All my clients must book in advance, and hookups are no different. Then he had to audacity to say, “delete his number”. I said, “I already had sex last night and this morning, so I don’t need to meet you for sex today”. I was trying to meet n greet on a respectable level...he just wanted to get stoned and come over a fuck. Which brings me to this: 100%. That so very true with #1. I think the key is the expectations part. I think deep down some guys feel there’s some expectations to be...expected. Sex first, no expectations later ??‍♂️ Traveling brings us into contact with more people, but it can limit the chance for those turning into something worthwhile. I’ve actually been on a little break from traveling due to everything going on (pandemic, peace demonstrations, etc). So in this time I’ve been trying to cultivate some friendships that were missed connections, but I’ve been off the road since March, and the guys STILL aren’t consistent. I spent my whole Memorial Day weekend with no plans with anyone I knew. Fortunately I made up for it the next week when a fuck buddy and his friend came to town, but that really just had me at a low point. Sometimes I wonder if it’s shame or race related. Maybe they feel a way about having gay sexual desires, maybe they feel a way about meeting a guy of a different ethnic background. I know it’s not a city based thing, as it seems to be the same way in most EVERY city in this country. However, some places seem to be more prone to it than others. Places like Nashville, Orlando, Kansas City: they seem to raise these gay guys in these conservative, backwards, intolerant upbringings, so when they are adult...they don’t know how to be in a relationship. Places like San Francisco, DC, Chicago...gay people seem to understand that you can do more than just meet another man for sex. AND WHY do I always see Black/White straight couples in most any city or suburb, but NEVER any Black/White gay couples except in porn and at gay bars/villages. ? And then when you do, people discriminate and do things that make it difficult to be together. Like the motel clerk last month said, “I didn’t know there was going to be 2 people staying in that room”. Bitch, is it a problem?

That's only what they want people around them to think. And they may be rightfully so, around them. But those also be the same ones who tend to perpetuate meeting for convenience only. They have their "regular" life, but once in awhile they'll venture out... And when it's over, they go back to what they were doing before. And forgetting about the guy they just met. Hence why nothing consistent comes out of it. Like one guy I met after we fucked: he says the next morning, "time to get back to reality". So what we did was merely a fantasy. An escape. Nothing more to come about.

I do ask clients for their age. Only because with the advent of texting, I have to be able to prioritize those who are 19 years old, versus 59 years old. 9 times out of 10, the 59 year old is more likely to meet than the 19 year old. I also don't care if someone says they are 45, and turn out to be 54. What matters is that they are not a minor, and of legal content age of 25 lol. As a matter of fact: when I use Adam4Adam, the profile of a timewaster is one who doesn't fill out their profile completely, and only puts their age and nothing else. How can a person be seriously looking to link up, and have all blank details. Other timewasting characteristics are those who ask for pics (MORE PICS than what I have), how big am I (inches), and asking to meet "now". Fortunately, I already have most all my conversations on a script. Too much deviation from the script usually also gets lowered in priority. I also don't answer uninvited phone calls and have turned my Rentmen messenger to auto reply, in order to cut down on wasting time. As much as I love the biz; I've gotten more seasoned, and become less tolerant to BS. However I'm also learning to be more forgiving because there is no formula. Every client starts out as a timewaster to someone lol. Eventually they'll come to someone. Our phones are ringing much more with Craigslist gone, and if you don't figure out a way to mitigate and prevent the excess waste of time, that can really make for a less fun experience overall. I study my spam emails and notice how some companies email me relentlessly even though I don't respond or shop with them. It made me realize, sometimes you just gotta "beg" clients to meet. I find myself reaching out to clients who've cancelled, reminding them I'm available and inviting to meet. If they are serious, they'll meet. However, I'm not going to chase someone who doesn't respect my time (asking for pictures, being pushy when not getting a response instantly when they've just contacted me the same day, or have flaked multiple times). I only "beg" if the person shows a will and intent to show up. Any cancels when I travel to or plan to host them are unforgivable without a deposit. I can't be bothered with inconsiderate fucks who don't give a fuck.

No apology needed. I think you're spot on 100%. But I'll give benefit of doubt that perhaps if they don't enter into relationships with that prerogative, they certainly stay in them for that. I have known a handful of gay relationships that were doing perfect when they were together: car, house, big parties. When they broke up, one was usually doing better than the other...but they both took a financial hit. Didn't see them out partying at the clubs much after that. And for the most part, they did stay open. Legend had it the person was in a relationship or had a partner, but played freely. So what's the solution or alternative? At what point do guys decide to just simultaneously combust and make it into a relationship? What factors have to be in play? Also I made a temporary move in with a client recently, and even though I'm grateful for his accommodation (needed it to transition to my own place), something just doesn't sit right with me because even though we have discussed it's not a boyfriend situation....it still FEELS like a boyfriend situation. He's a bit too lovey dovey than what I can appreciate. I don't want those feelings for him. Sometimes leaving off labels, don't change the biological workings of a situation.

Just curious on the opinion of those. I just find it discouraging that I can meet a guy my type, have perfect sex, and perfect chemistry...and it rarely go anywhere beyond the first meet. This would explain majority of my interactions with gay guys. I have tried to make sense of not having sex with someone when I first meet, but it doesn't always make any difference. Yet, I have clients who obviously we connected on a first meet, and known each other for months and years. I know every situation isn't promised to be one thing or the other, but I try to wonder if hooking up with guys outside of clients on a first meet...is a bad idea. At the same time, it's like what are the alternatives? With many gay guys being relatively single, and not married...who really wants to go on 3 or 4 dates with a guy in hopes that something long term comes out of it? It's almost easier to fuck first, and get to know each other afterwards....but more often than not that rarely happens. It may not be an issue for guys who are already established with a circle of friends, relatives, and work functions...but some of us likely don't have a huge social network to fall back on. My social and entertainment network consists of clients, the occasional bar hop, and social media/hookup apps. My friend circle is somewhat varied. They either live out of state or we fucked, and are fuck buddies. There's just no other consistent alternative. The gyms are usually filled with married and partnered straights, out in public usually is hit or miss.

Hello, I am familiar with the Tampa/St Pete area myself. I am not in Florida now, but I was there for a couple months back in early February thru March. As far as I know: Treasure Island beach, and this I’m just noticing: the gay resort formerly known as Flamingo has shut down. I think that was prior to the pandemic, but I know there is a website that takes to a different site now: https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/st-petersburgs-flamingo-resort-is-closing-after-10-years That said, there are still some other spots to venture to around downtown. My suggestion personally: if you can, try to spend a couple or few days in different Florida cities, and then try another. That way you get the full experience. Every Florida beach and city is different, and when people only see 1, they only get to see that 1 impression. Siesta Key in Sarasota is a world famous beach spot, you may even get a better sunset because when I was there, the sun kept setting in the northwest, not the classic dew west over the water. But also no place I’m aware of on the west coast of Florida is going to be specifically gay or nude. That’s why if time/transportation allows, you may want to get on the east coast up towards Titusville and check out Playalinda beach, which is a nude one on the Cape Canaveral shore. However the towns surrounding it can be a bit seedy and devoid of much gay activity, but if you already have a partner coming along, it may not be an issue. The other option would be Orlando, like the Parliament House. But once you’re outside of downtown and the resorts, Orlando can get a bit touristy and family oriented. Whereas Saint Pete beach and Sarasota tend to cater to an older, mature crowd. Also look into Key West....it’s more expensive, but completely different from Miami and Fort Lauderdale. And more gay oriented/catered than St. Pete/Tampa. Which from my opinion growing up there: has struggled to expand its gay community, as that area is home to conservative Bible thumpers, and a handful of intolerant types too. However, being along the beach...you generally get a mix of people from up north and overseas.

If you go regularly, I’ll soon be based in STL, and am making a 2 day run out to get some things situated. I probably won’t be there past Tuesday this week, however PM me if you’d like more details for a future visit.

Never personally been, never personally heard of... That being said, (not being political, but just answering the question from a different standpoint) with the likely new world order of the collapse of the police state in America, I would hope that a sensible next leader, could pass a bill that refrains police from intervening on situations (such as bogus entrapment operations) that don’t create imminent bodily harm or property loss And considering I’ve pretty much had to “police” myself all these years, I think other businesses could adopt a way to handle situations without involving police too. Because they are part of the problem, that’s why their windows are getting smashed out and burned. Police aren’t needed for every little thing. And if I were to be arrested going to a hotel to meet a client, best believe they would be getting a shitty review, and some. Now the only other case that I know personally of, is a client who told me there was a sting set on a “escort” in a hotel. But this particular person was getting clients in and doing some unscrupulous things. That’s the only reason why.

Looks like everything will be shutting right back down though, thanks to 1 idiot ??‍♂️ Bet there won’t be any “stimulus check” or SBA loans for that. Guess the insurance companies are going to need a bailout next ? That said, I did stay in one of Marriott’s smaller quieter hotels the other week, and they did mention only registered guests in the room. However, this was new because I had stayed there couple months ago and that wasn’t imposed. I didn’t have any issue my first day up, but I did notice the next day the front lobby was locked, and front desk just manually opened it. However since then, I’ve stayed in a couple other hotels and haven’t had any issues. So it’s likely to be a hotel by hotel basis. If push comes to shove like that again, one may just need to physically go down and meet...and go back in a door not connected to the lobby. Some of the stuff going on is overkill (no pun intended). If someone is a single guest, or if a client is wearing a mask thru the halls; the chance of risk to the hotel is relatively low, not much more than any other guest checking in.

I’ve been there before in the winter, not the best time. Can get quite blustery and grey. And when it’s in the -0 for days on end, I can’t imagine anyone being serious about wanting to get out. Summer is definitely best. But at this rate, there may not even be a Minneapolis to go back to. Probably look something like this:

Yikes...hope I’m not making a mistake lol. If anything, it’ll just be a starting point for now. All the places I would want to move (SF, DC, Arizona) are just not accessible at this point in time. I’m going to STL because I’ll have a place to host and it’s within a day drive. The neighborhood seems right, and I know a couple of clients who can lend a hand.

Thanks for your assessment. I definitely understand that doesn’t speak for all of Minnesotans. Similar to Wisconsin, I know they can be pretty “blind” to race (for lack of better metaphor lol). In fact, most those areas readily welcome ethnic providers...as I know it’s not much diversity especially outside of the city. I always wanted to go to Fargo and Duluth/International falls in the summer. Clearly it is an American/police state-race issue, which seems to occur in just about every state at any given time. It just sucks when it happens to occur in whatever city someone happens to live in. I’m getting ready to move to Saint Louis, which was home to its own unrest a few years ago. I’ve been leery about it ever since, but for that reason I’m doing a “test run” move, one that won’t require a lease, in the event I need to re-negotiate. Likewise with DC/Baltimore between Freddy Gray and the Trump inauguararion. As a matter of fact, I’ve noticed DC never seemed to have recovered. I feel like each time these events happen, it takes everything 50 years backwards. I know for me, DC still isn’t the same for me now as it was when I 1st used to go. The hiring demographic seemed to change.

In the wake of the recent events of the pandemic AND the now resurfaced race relations unrest...I can only imagine providers in Minneapolis must be really feeling the pinch. I recall Minneapolis used to be one of my favorite cities to visit, up until about 2014. I’m not sure how things are there now, but I’ve tried to make some trips up there recently...since I’m usually only 4 to 7 hours away. However, it just didn’t seem to really be convincing enough of a visit. Not to mention, I’ve had some 612 numbers over the last year, who turned out to be absolute wasters. I’m also aware that states like Minnesota, Illinois, Michigan, and Wisconsin are “caution” areas, because I do feel they target minorities. I think it is due to the generally multi-cultural cities are home to a mostly homogenous state (e.g. not much diversity in the suburbs, but generally complete opposite in the cities). I wouldn’t mind making another visit up there, but with all going on...guess it’ll have to be down the line, some other time ??‍♂️

That does sound like a realistic hypothesis. However, what comes around goes around. I’m not talking about Karma though, but rather “fads”. It’s like, how many more things are going to affect the market that haven’t already? I’ve already said before that at any given moment, a police/race war unrest could ensue...and sure enough, that’s going to “drown out” Corona virus concerns, similar to how Corona virus has “drowned out” race relations and the current political situation. Shit just goes back and forth. If it ain’t one damn thing, it’s another thing. Each time, it’s money lost and never recovered. What am I going to do, not raise my rates ? Remember...Grindr and hookup apps are in my opinion, among the top modern kryptonites to the sex work industry, next to Fosta/Sesta. Both things had predicted to “be the end” of sex work, crashing rates and so forth. So it’s a bit of oversight for people to make predictions. And I’ve said before, WHOM has less income? Yes there are plenty, but there’s also plenty making a KILLING out of this pandemic. The “essential” workers are making big bucks, and there’s lots of clients who lie in that category. My prediction is a little different, but is based on what’s already being observed: there will be LESS escorts, and continually less clients initially. The business will lose its appeal to those seeking to become an escort, due to the associated risks and lack of participation. Would be escorts will resort to more sites like onlyfans/justforfans...which will leave a void in the escort market. In turn, it’ll leave a gateway to those who are dedicated to the industry, and eventually become ever more profitable than before. Rates will remain stable, but the disparity will be large: it’ll either be guys wanting to pay $50, or guys willing to pay $300. It’ll be imperative to tap into the latter, and have the skills to do so. Ultimately, the business will rebound stronger than ever...and I want to be present to receive the bounty. I don’t have an exact time line for things, but I do think we’re in the “eyewall” of the storm right now, so things are at their worst. But...hopefully after about 4 to 6 months, things will improve to that next level.

When it comes to sex work, It won’t matter much though. I’ve experimented with relaxing my standards and still made no money, and I’ve been right about things and it didn’t make much of a difference. I’m experiencing it first hand in a market that wasn’t really great before the pandemic, and isn’t much better during the pandemic. It won’t matter if I lower my rates, because there’s still not going to be any more demand for the trade. The flakes are still doing their dirty work, and the “I can get sex for free” brigade are still making their rounds. What’s even more brazen, I’ve had more than a couple of clients agree to discounts and STILL didn’t go thru with the appointment. So it doesn’t matter much, of a goddamn fuck whether I raise or lower rates...as far as increasing or decreasing biz goes. I’ve had to learn over the years: rates don’t mean shit in the big scheme of things. So ain’t no reason to panic and start changing things. I will get the same amount of clients charging $100, $150 or $250. I’ve seen it before with my own eyes. Clients who used to only pay me $100, started giving me $200-250. Clients who have given me $250/300, have tried to offer me $100 (I don’t get mad, I just brief them on why that’s not sensible for a traveling provider, who’s overheads include ads, hotels, self care/grooming, etc). At the end of the day, we really can’t control the market. I know I can’t. There’s only going to be so much demand for a Black, Gay male escort with only 3 or 4 main sites to advertise online. Therefore, I have to make sure I’m not selling myself short. The less I charge, the less I’m going to have to make ends meet. Contrary to...the less I charge, the more clients I’ll see. That’s generally speculative (and doesn’t work because often all it does, is get the “rarely or never” hired before types in the door 1 time, then they never end up becoming regulars anyway). At this point in time, the only time I’m willing to do any sessions for under $150, is if a client is in the same BUILDING as me, or if I’m still a little horny after regular paid session...or if it’s a regular and I really need the money. Otherwise, I’ve determined long ago I need PREFERABLY $250-$300 per session to be able to make ends meet. It’s just not worth my time of preparation, driving back and forth, or booking in and out of hotels for anything less. Even being at home, I would occasionally offer lowered rates from Craigslist/backpage clients. But that would become a vicious cycle as once they got used to it, I really had to coax them into paying more (aka, my rent has went up, but biz hasn’t increased...So I can’t charge $100 anymore).

I had a regular client like that myself. It would seem like after every session, there was some long drawn out text indicating hard feelings about what we did. But then he’d be contacting me again the following week ??‍♂️ Finally after one session, I just told him how I felt...suggesting maybe a sex therapist versus a sex worker would be more appropriate. Surprisingly, we were able to work thru it and meet up a couple more times. Turns out, even though there did seem to be some remorse about the transactional aspect, he actually did enjoy the encounters regardless. I just had to really get into the nitty gritty of what was going on. In his case, he was used to having guys who are into daddy types chasing after him. I think he was thinking I wasn’t into him much because I was getting paid for it, but had to reiterate that it doesn’t mean I can’t be “into” someone because of that. It’s just that I was a provider when he met me, so that’s a default. I think some people put the cart before the horse and mistakenly see things as cause and effect.

I don’t need you to rate me positively, but if you don’t have anything NICE to rate, don’t rate ME at all. Why you seem so bent on doing so anyway if you don’t like my input, seems like you’re working too hard. Now...back to the topic at hand.

I would take that with a grain of salt. That same person using the word psycho, is also the same person who seems to find every 1 of my posts and rate it with a negative or neutral rating. But that same person never gave a good rating to any of the posts that other people have rated positively. And then, when I emailed him like a real man would do in private about it, he couldn’t bother to respond. He’s the very epitome of the type of arrested developmental men I’m tired of lol. That said, I’m not here for that. I’m here to discuss industry affairs with mature, non-judgmental people who respect someone’s ability to be transparent. It’s a work in progress. I’m ready. I spent a good half hour or so on the phone with my client discussing everything, and it all makes sense. I have to make the move. Simply traveling isn’t enough. I need to be in a viable and convenient market. And my next city is going to be within 4 to 5 hours of several major metros. And when it comes to A4A, based on the other thread in the lounge, If I do keep it beyond the time I’ve already paid for, I won’t be accepting any booking requests from half-filled profiles. And I’m also leaning towards deleting RentMen messenger, because that’s really becoming a waste of time too. Last thing I need to do is be texting someone who’s not even provided a phone number. But for now, I just have everything on auto-response with very simply details and instructions. So doesn’t really hurt to have the app one way or the other.