JB_Studio38

Please don't take this wrong (lest I might have taken you wrong), but don't feel "sorry" for anyone like us, in "times like this". I'm not understanding where some people think there's this surplus of funds to save up. I want to see how some of these people are living. If someone is fortunate enough to truly be able to go client-free during this period which could last til June, you have to either have been getting a good amount of clients, or like @marylander1940 said, very thrifty. In my case, just this week alone: I had to renew my car insurance, Rentmen ad, phone bill, and some other miscellaneous bills/essentials from Amazon. All to the tune of about $500. As for "savings", I had some left over from a tour two weeks ago, because at this point there's really nowhere to go to spend money on. I had 1 Local client last week (who I won't be seeing again due to his repeated psycho analyzation after every session we do). And then I had a client send me a nice deposit for a session later this week. So, that's just how it is. My only regrets is not asking a different client for a deposit. I met him previously, and he was fine. But he flaked back in December, and I gave him a 2nd chance. Only for him to do it AGAIN yesterday. We were supposed to be doing a 2 hour out of town session, with it potentially being an overnight. Did the same thing he did previously; comes across interested on the phone, but then day of comes and no response at all. And what made it so bad, he came around and contacted me last week, like his disappearing act in December never happened. I brought it up. I give him a chance, but then they take my kindness for weakness. And then other clients are shocked when we ask for deposits. Because some people mess it up for others. For a little while I thought I'd ease up on the deposits, but clearly I'm going to have to go right back to doing it again. People like that don't appreciate our craft. Then they can't understand why I cut their ties. And 10 times out of 10, they come back around. It’s almost like they can’t remember. But when they keep doing the same thing, they are no longer a customer, but a shoplifter. Shoplifting my valuable time. And the only way to stop it is with a deposit.

Tell me about it! What can you suggest to all the super sore, like your 1st time working out, when people finally do return to the gym? I know for me: calves and biceps tend to be the worse, and longest to heal soreness to recoup from. Once the gyms do open, I plan to go light for atleast a week or 2. I can’t wait to go back to the gym, but I can wait for the DOMS after the gym lol. So far, my only exercise has been pushups, track, and jumping jacks. The occasional ab workouts here and there. But its good though because it forces me to do more cardio. I’ve gotten lean AF.

I want to add one more perspective to this all. Escorting and dating is almost an oxymoron. I’m not speaking for anyone in particular, or undermining any good escort relationships out there. But most guys in the biz aren’t in it because they’re trying to “date” (unless one is referring to dating=hooking up), or they may have moved on from the dating “rat race”. In my case, I’m over the dating rat race. When I look back over the years, many of the “dates” I’ve had were a waste of time. With some of these guys, you just have to fuck em once or twice, and move on with your life. PERIOD. I be finding most of them only around for convenience, and what you can do for them. They don’t want to contribute, always want me to work around their schedule, etc. Then they criticize and put me down. Dating can be toxic, and I usually find afterwards that the ones I thought were a good catch, turn out to be assholes. My most recent quasi-dating situation: A guy I’ve fucked a couple times last year. Met him in his city the 1st time, St. Louis the 2nd time, Kansas City the 3rd time, and then Florida the 4th time. By the end of the 2nd time, he had already started referring us to just “friends”, no sex. Which is where I should have dropped it then. Because from there, the whole “friendship” became annoying and meaningless. Then I had to listen to him go on and on about some other guy he was trying to be in a relationship with. Goodbye, it was nice knowing you! I also met with a guy over Easter, who I’ve previously “hooked up” with last year. Waste of my time again. I go over to his house, I walk in and he’s playing x box. I haven’t seen him in months. I stay over for an hour, and he’s talking about he has a family video chat and has company coming over later. Prior to that he said he had frat brothers over. I’m thinking to myself, why did I even waste my time going over there? I don’t have time to be trying to “squeeze in” to spend time with someone, when they’re not trying to do the same. That’s equivalent to 250/hr down the drain. Just pointless. I will not be wasting my time with him again. That’s part of why I’ve been sticking with the hobby for as long as I have. Even though it’s not perfect, and can challenge your mental health...it’s not even CLOSE to the level that goes on in regular “dating” situations. Escorting allows all the physical aspects of dating, but without the baggage and drama of getting to “know someone”. And trust me, most of these guys aren’t worth getting to know, because they’re all about convenience and see other gay guys as accessories, not something to invest in. Escorting has taken me from LA to Key West, Provincetown to San Francisco. And everywhere in between. I have clients who I may see once every 1 or 2 years, and we still have like the best relationship when together. I also keep in touch in between. It works for me.

Good point here ?? And that’s what I’ve been coming to realize overtime just “dating” many people over the years, who happen to be outside of the biz. I’ve even come to the conclusion that “dating” is no longer going to be in my vocabulary. It’s not that it’s a bad thing or that I don’t believe in it, but it creates expectations and false sense of commitment far too soon. I dealt with that so much in my 20s, “talking to” guys, who were also “talking to” other guys. Or people who hook up a couple times and one claims they were “dating” and another wasn’t. Then someone gets hurt. So nowadays, if I meet someone, and we’re hooking up, we’re only going to be friends who fuck. FWF. If after some time we decide to be more, then it’ll progress to boyfriends. If it’s another escort, great, but I’m not necessarily looking for it to be. But in my experience, like you said, most escorts don’t come to the table with dating on the menu. I’ve had a few connects with other escorts, either thru client 3way (or even 4 way lol) sessions, or RentMen ads. But most seem to be in it for an agenda, not so much giving off a vibe of something date-wise.

Thankyou for understanding. But honestly whether people here approve or “try” to condemn me is of least concern. If so, the anger is misdirected, considering there’s a vast majority of people all over who are still making themselves available to hook up (I’m on prep has been replaced by, COVID-19 negative). And as I’ve said before, there’s still no law around saying 2 people can’t meet in the comfort of their own home. People are over-applying the orders, with no gavel or a heaven or hell to put me in lol. The orders are simply meant to keep down on large groups of public gatherings. In my case, I’m not necessarily taking clients out of desperation, but I’m doing so to prevent me from getting to that point. I don’t want to have to be desperate. I’ve been there, and don’t want to go back. Right now is an opportune time because I’ve noticed timewasters are down, and people are actually scheduling appointments like they’re supposed to. When they see we’re out here taking risks, it’s serious. It’s not a game. There’s no unemployment checks, there’s no business bailout loans. If and when that $1,200 stimulus check arrives, it’s going straight to the relocation expenses I’ve not been able to set aside this year. I definitely can’t “stay home” considering my “home” environment is far from ideal, and my current base town wasn’t great biz wise even before COVID-19. So I usually travel 1 to 2 times month, even if it’s just 3 hours away. To be frank, I consider myself quasi-homeless by design at the moment, because I really can’t tolerate being “home” for more than a week straight, before things start getting hostile. At this point, keeping my sanity is of greater concern, than the fear of a virus and it’s accompanying “what if’s”. I sat in a hospital room for 5 days straight last month, not attributed to COVID-19 (and I’m pretty sure the virus has come and gone thru my system by now, before social distancing orders were announced, considering the amount of crowds I’ve been exposed to, hotels I’ve stayed in, states I’ve traveled to since Super Bowl weekend), I’ll be damned to sit around confined, and be empty handed; week, after week, after week. I’d rather die, than to not be able to live my life. That’s like being in hostage or detained with no idea of when you’re getting out, aka prisoner in your own home. But again, that’s what the news isn’t going to tell people. I’ve already read somewhere domestic violence has gone up 40% since this. But the news not going to tell you the whole story behind why some home environments are toxic, and compound that with financial trouble. Last thing some people may want to do is stay inside...

Now don’t go putting words in my mouth. I said in response to a hypothetical scenario, that it would not be my fault...and it wouldn’t. In that scenario, did I knock on someones door and walk in uninvited, or did someone contact me and ask me to come over/or come over themselves? And that even assumes the escort tested positive for it, was contagious, and the client didn’t visit anyone else: friends/family coming over or grocery shopping themselves. So yeah, I still call BS on it...and I’m going to keep calling BS on it everytime it comes up. The scenario is 1 sided, because it assumes someone meeting is doing so: 1. With ill intent. 2. The escort is the one infected, but not the client. 3. That it’s a forced meeting 4. He is knowingly infected 5. The virus is actually existent (in either person) It’s about as ridiculous as the stigmatizing and blame that would exist towards a gay man who’s HIV positive (omg how dare he exchange numbers with me and not tell me he’s HIV positive!). Which I’m glad over the years, seems to be fading. But now we have something new to stigmatize people over ?

Not necessarily, because I’m not just talking about people. I’m talking specifically about gay men, and how it pertains to our daily lives. If I wanted to hear about people, I could sit and watch the news and hear about all the “people” who are affected. But fact of the matter is, single “non-married” people without families, which include most gay guys, don’t cook. There was even a post on Twitter by a guy who was saying Wendy’s turned him and another guy away, because their lobby was closed and it was drive in only. Compound that with the fact many gay guys in the certain cities may not drive... It wasn’t meant to be stereotypical or “gay-ist” in any way. I’m speaking based on the fact I’ve known many guys, who happen to be gay, who don’t cook. Their refrigerators are filled with microwavables and drinks. I’ve known guys who eat out 2-3 times a day. Whether they know how to cook, or do so for convenience is not necessarily relevant. I know for ME, when I travel I don’t cook at all, except once in a blue when there’s a hotel with a kitchenette. So when the restaurants started not allowing people to sit down, that was a big deal for me. I had to eat most of my meals in the car, and when traveling...inconvenient would be an understatement. If we’re going to talk about real issues, I’m going to say it specifically as it pertains to us. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, because the news is only going to tell you what you want to hear. I’m going to say it like it actually is. And gay guys who don’t know how to cook, and who hook up during a social distancing order, is how it actually is lol.

I don't want to get into another deep debate about this, but as I've already said in previous threads...this will come and go and simply become another news story once the next big headline makes way. https://www.cdc.gov/flu/pandemic-resources/2009-h1n1-pandemic.html https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/11/26/247379604/2009-flu-pandemic-was-10-times-more-deadly-than-previously-thought Obviously what's happening is a terrible thing that is going to shake up the biz, but so was 9/11, the 2008 recession, swine flu, and the AIDS outbreak (before my time). Look what happened after AIDS: the biggest porn names of all time were created, online male escorting took off, and here we are now. Once the restrictions are lifted, people will be back to their way of doing things. When the pulse nightclub shooting happened, gay bars in Orlando didn't see crowds for awhile. Eventually people came to terms and started getting back into the swing of things. But to answer your question: I plan to keep on trucking with it. I do need to make some changes here and there, but it's not an overnight process. You don't just stop working for yourself, and suddenly going to have something on the ready. As has been the case before this, I plan to situate myself in small markets and avoid the big cities. Recently laid off guys are coming on the scene expecting this to be something to fall back on, so we're going to see people coming and going. As of now, all of my regular clients want to see me...but we're in this stronghold of social suppression, and it needs to be lifted before anything can change.

I've actually been to both of them considering I do most of my tours by ground, and end up in different neighborhoods. I've been all around Boulder City, Henderson, North Las Vegas, heck even St. George Utah lol. But I didn't know those areas were bigger (which I suppose you mean more populated) than the Coachella Valley. I did always feel Palm Springs was a little getaway area. Twin cities would be Key West, Provincetown, and I even hear of a place in Michigan called Saugatuck or something like that. But it's supposed to be a bit smaller. Then you have Eureka Springs down in Arkansas which claims to be the most gay per capita residence nationwide. But they compare it to relative number of gays per the population. That said, in all my travels there's just nothing like palm springs. It is the adult Disney world. This year wouldn't of worked for me anyway because I went last year and again in November, but next season I'll likely make a return or go around my preferred October/November before or after gay pride (hint hint) @Oliver

That’s good? to know. But that could also indicate 2-3 years. However, like I had a conversation with Bryan Knight, I’ve been in the industry for over 10 years and have also seen it all. Even though each “event” is different, or more extreme, it still impacts in some way. For example: the Trayvon Martin/police riots, Orlando Pulse, and Presidential election events all took its toll temporarily on sex and the business in general. It just changes everybody's vibe. In Orlando, I ended up going 3 weeks and only had 1 client, when the Pulse nightclub thing happened. Eventually, and I’m sure at this point people can’t see because they’re so fixated on things “getting worse” and the “apocalypse”, but perhaps this too will simply become “news” down the line. As in, something that stays on the news for months, until the next big storyline replaces it. Then people move on and forget about it. That’s why I don’t buy into mass hysteria. At this point, people have forgotten about Y2K, 9/11, the Isis beheadings, the border wall, the Police beatings, the tornadoes, the refugees in Syria, the Hurricane Irma, the Shootings at Mandalay Bay, global warming, the antibiotic resistant gonorreah...and now its all about this virus now. And somehow now, THIS is the end of the world ?

All this is making me think about going out west again lol. It'll be interesting to see how some cities may change. Phoenix may become a little more homey, if California starts becoming more affordable. I know places like California, Arizona, Nevada and Florida are particularly sensitive to recessions. But last time I was in Phoenix and Tucson, both places fully recovered and growing nicely. Even though the middle of the country can feel kinda ho hum at times, I like being able to be in eastern or mountain time with just a day drive. Which gives close access to a handful of workable cities. Whereas trying to travel east out of California or Phoenix can take a couple days, and the towns are small and isolated. And yeah I was going to say palm springs is small...but I supposed when considering cathedral city and the whole valley, it could be as big as Las Vegas. However palm springs is like a small city that has the lifestyle as a Major metro. Obviously the gay scene rivals the bigger cities of Fort Lauderdale and San Francisco.

It sounds like you are fortunate enough to be able to do so. And it sounds like you may live alone. So you may not be in a “Big Brother/Real World” reality show situation, with people you don’t get along with round the clock. But not everybody has that “luxury” (which is not truly, but it is a privilege in some ways). To stay at home, alone and not run out of resources in a span of 3 or 4 weeks. And that would likely include a good majority of escorts. I often use this guideline from pat experiences of when things get slow: 1 week without a client, not ideal, but I can get by. May need to take a proactive approach 2 weeks without a client: things start getting real tight. All ads need to be paid and updated. May need to travel 3 weeks without a client: now I’m behind on bills, and likely depleted financially. A long tour to a different city is necessary. 4 weeks without a client: Dire straights. **And note, this is all assuming I’m not traveling. 1 week without a client when traveling, can quickly become like 4 weeks without a client, due to daily expenses. I’ve had that happen occasionally, and it’s not fun. In my case: before this all broke loose, I was in Florida staying in hotels from the day of the SuperBowl in February (nobody in Kansas City was hiring that weekend, plus I had an overnight in Key West later in the week) to mid-March. Once the brunt of the pandemic was out, life still went on. I stayed for another 3 weeks even after the 1st case was reported in Florida, mainly because I had responsibilities that weren’t going to go away. Hotels aren’t free. I still needed a place to stay, and a couple of people offered, but it was far from ideal, and one guy thought he could use my situation to be his personal servant/errand runner. Ah no ✋? ?. I have my own biz to tend to.

I’m referring to a bartender who operated as normal and didn’t over-serve (which most don’t with the amount of times I’ve been asked, “let’s have a shot”, and that one can prove the person wasn’t drinking elsewhere prior to the time (many guys like to “barhop”, and “pre-game). You’re saying “can be”, I’m saying what I have actually seen. And let’s step back from that example and reverse the roles. Let’s say the client is the one visiting the supermarket, picks up something, passes on to the escort, and he dies a week later. Would that make the client selfish and reckless? After all...who 1st initiated the contact? It’s not strange. “Reliable” refers to a car’s engine and transmission only. In that sense, even an occasionally neglected engine and transmission can and does make it past 250/300K. But it doesn’t refer to brakes, stuff that happens when hitting potholes, and electrical parts which are nowadays always remanufactured. Ask me why there’s a repair shop on just about every corner...going back to what I was saying, parts have a mind of their own. One of my friends has a 2016 Lincoln Continental, and was recently quoted $1,800 because of an issue with the rear sunscreen. They’ve barely had it for a year. Any car can be reliable if you just drive it from church/work and back. Any car can start having issues when you began to put it to extended use.

I just noticed you both have kept the same handles since 2002! So I applaud the consistency. Btw @Benjamin_Nicholas, since you were in the biz around that time, do you have an idea as to how long it took for things to get back to “normal”, or how much was the industry affected after 9/11/2001?

As someone who works on cars (me), me selling a workable hard d**k, personality, and clean upscale location complete with wine, porno and music going...versus selling a used car with miles and miles of PARTS that have a mind of their own, can’t be put in the same category. For example: I just had my starter replaced in February. And now yesterday and today, my car didn’t want to start. Thank goodness I took some clients last week, else I’d be fucked every which way from Sunday. I only used the drunk driver comparison as a way to remove the villainization aspect of someone. But ironically, even bartenders are out of business right now...despite the thousands of drunk driving accidents and deaths that occur yearly. BUT...you can still buy alcohol. So clearly, alcohol isn’t truly to blame. So sex shouldn’t be to blame either, for this pandemic (which again, isn’t even sexually transmitted ??‍♂️ So clearly it’s not the bartender’s fault if someone drives off a cliff, And clearly it’s not the sex workers fault if someone contracts corona.

Not the same. I’ve been touring Arizona and Palm Springs for years. Mostly Arizona. Despite them both being desert communities, they’re different. You can’t do in Tucson, what you can do in Palm Springs. The gay resorts, etc. It’s also less expensive in Tucson. Climate/Geography wise, Palm Springs can be similar...but one of my resident Phoenix friends says Palm Springs has a more refreshing nighttime feel than Phoenix. All the cities in the mountain west are the same difference, so to speak. Las Vegas isn’t Palm Springs, Palm Springs isn’t Phoenix. That said, Scottsdale is unique in that it’s a bit on a higher elevation than Phoenix, so you get more of the Saguaro Cactus ? growing in that area. Makes for a nice, upscale rustic feel. On my last visit to the area in October-November, I felt more at home in Tucson...whereas Phoenix seems to have become a suburb of LA (similar to how some say Milwaukee is a “suburb” of Chicago).

I get what you're saying. Trust me. You mentioned earlier that you weren't referring to moral aspects, but rather social responsibility. So therefore you can't use "karma" to dictate the outcome of what 2 consenting adults CHOOSE to do. They can choose to be in hiatus, or choose to meet up. But, the point I'm making, is that all those points you mention can be NORMALLY applied to all other forms of sex, which isn't between a married man and woman. Maybe we should all "do the right thing" and not have sex with married men who may be our clients, because that's karma. We shouldn't get paid period because, that's bad karma too perhaps. And no bareback or oral without a condom, because that's bad karma because one could potentially get an std from doing that. Do you think, your average bible thumper would agree that it's okay to be meeting a man for naked massages (lead me not to temptation), or sex, much less having it bareback, much less getting paid for it...while his wife or partner is not around? Would they suggest to just "watch porn" instead of have real sex? So how can we judge others, for doing the very things we're judged of? I'll leave it here: I'm not encouraging anyone to go out and have sex. One of my repeat clients recently told me he can't meet me because COVID will likely kill his wife. Did I go knocking on his door, demanding him to pay and have sex with me? No. I said I understand, and referred him to my JFF page. What I am advocating: don't judge or put shame on someone who is having sex. One may not agree with it (legalize), but that doesn't mean one should blacklist or criticize (decriminalize) a person's decisions to do what is necessary to get thru this.

“Little” risk: bad gonorreah infection, which is curable...but can lead to infertility and cancer. “Big” risk: COVID My thing is too: we don’t even know how long this is going to last. No time line is being given. It’s already been a month since the first case was reported in Florida. Not to mention, there’s so much emphasis on COVID and not on the “regular” cold and flu virus. What happened to those, is COVID so powerful that it just gobbled those up? Don’t we all get a cold once or twice a year? Unless COVID is a hybrid of a cold ? and a flu ?, with a sprinkle of ? bat stew ? Something just doesn’t seem right...but, I’m sure there’s enough info across the web to discuss that.

But I’m not comparing big risk/little risk. I’m comparing actions as a whole. You just said I shouldn’t be having meets if I’m not having these conversations. I’m saying people are having these conversations, but it means nothing as far as hookups are concerned. I never ask someone if they are negative, last been tested, or “clean”. Means nothing. They could have been tested today, fucked someone on the way to me, and give me something. Instead, I will check them and I will check myself. And I get tested.

That’ll mean as much as an application between 2 men about to have bareback sex: Are you on prep? Yes When have you last been tested? March Do you wear condoms often? Yes Are you Negative? Yes Great, based on your response, you’ve been approved! Let’s fuck raw ? Talk is cheap. If having bareback sex is going to likely kill me by the end of the week, I will make my own decisions, not based on the answers of another. Likewise, if COVID is a big risk factor for someone, they may want to make their own decisions accordingly as well.

There’s no karma to be had lol. Spiritual or otherwise. In your example, the escort would be asymptomatic. There’s no way to prove the escort picked up the virus from the supermarket, or that the client didn’t get it thru some other means. Even with that @hypothetically given context ? But idk, I can’t tell people what to do. I’m not here to do that. Obviously you want to abide by your local restrictions, to be on the good side of law and health. Trust me: when I’m sick, I don’t even want to look at porn. Let alone be concerned with me trying to have sex But at the end of the day, people are making up scenarios in their head, and then spreading them around as being “gospel”. That’s why the Bible has been so grossly misinterpreted over the centuries, because people took something that was written, and misinterpreted as being a “law” and breaking it is “bad”. There’s no mandates saying to wear a mask in public, no mandates saying you can’t meet your partner for sex, no mandates saying you could be held directly responsible for giving someone COVID.

I have a few jerk off videos and recently played with a toy up my *** on video the other week as well. But guess what? Clients still want real life visits.

Nope. I was born in 1987. Only heard of HIV. Actually...I’m wrong: isn’t aids the thing kids used to tease about? “if your index finger is shortler/longer than your ring finger, you’ve got aids”. “If your 2nd toe is shorter than your big toe, you’ve got aids”. I feel bad for the new generation of kids after this pandemic. Lots of kids are going to be falsely diagnosed with COVID. Very hard to litigate though. I’m on Facebook and follow a few bartenders I’ve known over the years. Non of the bars have closed or bartenders have been arrested, because some guy couldn’t handle his liquor, and wrecked his car and died. And it’s going to be much harder to claim a client died of COVID, because he visited an escort. Especially considering the number of cases going around.

Speculative. And that can apply to escorts too. What makes an onlyfans model more resourceful than a masseur or escort? Because they never had to meet anyone in person to make tons? Maybe I actually enjoy the real life aspect of making someone feel good. Not to mention, there’s a lot of bareback going on thru onlyfans. But WAIT! That’s on video, no in person meets are needed. It’s “different”, you say. That should answer your AIDS question.