JB_Studio38

That’s good that you’ve shared some of your financial savvy. However, I think your message was directed for another thread, sir. Perhaps it was more geared towards the other thread that talks about advance deposits, which I’ve clarified here That said, I can briefly just address what you’ve said now. 90 days of savings assumes an escort is getting clients steadily, few cancellations OR rescheduled cancellations. Unfortunately, in the real world, that doesn’t happen. That also doesn’t compensate the fact that one escort may have the demand to reach many more clients (whether that be looks, ability to host/travel, being in a favorable market, able to command the price desired etc etc). It’s easy to talk money when you’ve got money. But not everyone has it. You can have all the financial savvy skills at your disposal, but if you ain’t making X amount more times your bills (which we might as well assume, are unavoidable), you can’t save. And with escorts just recently coming out of FOSTA/SESTA, numerous website closures (rentboy, men4rent, backpage, hour boy, Craigslist, and now: very few sites allow rates to be posted) this whole situation is just another setback in the setbacks that have ALREADY occurred in the last 2-5 years. So last thing I need to hear, is somebody telling me what I should of, coulda or, would of done. Not when the odds have been stacked against us every 2 years. In addition, those SBA loans, explicitly disqualified those businesses of a “sexual nature”: https://www.google.com/amp/s/blavity.com/amp/adult-entertainment-businesses-ineligible-for-finacial-aid-amid-global-pandemic Businesses and self-employed individuals within the legal sex industry aren't eligible for loans or grants from the Small Business Administration (SBA) following the passing of a milestone $2 trillion coronavirus relief bill.

I can see your point here. And from my experiences as an escort, dealing with other escorts; some have differing levels of integrity (the last escort I hung out with thought it was cute to shoplift, so I had to keep my wallet out of reach during the whole 45 minutes I wasted my time meeting back up with him after a pretty hot 3 way client session a week prior) So in some ways, I can understand the client’s end of things. Clients don’t want to be used as a pawn ♟ There’s also 1 important thing I noticed in this thread, that no one mentioned: A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough I think what stands out, is the escort contacted the client and asked for a deposit. That in itself was the wrong move. The very few clients who have “sponsored” me, have done so out of their own generosity, and after speaking in person that “if I ever need anything, let them know”. I’d never initiate asking a deposit for future meetings. I would only do that if someone contacts me and wishes to schedule an appointment, not the other way around. Like the other week, someone requested an appointment in a nearby state. All I did was send him my booking links to confirm, and he sent me $500 before we had even set a date. Which was certainly more than what I was expecting. By the time I met him, I had only touched $50 of that, as that’s all I needed to get down there as accommodations were taken care of by him. But it just goes show: I didn’t ask, he offered. I simply made myself available, and did the run down as I always do. I ask for deposits, but generally for visits within the near future, and if it involves travel or hosting when it involve hotels (helps cut down on the “oh I can’t make it” brigade, after I’ve already paid for the venue) Not for some ambivalent future date.

I can see your point here. And from my experiences as an escort, dealing with other escorts; some have differing levels of integrity (the last escort I hung out with thought it was cute to shoplift, so I had to keep my wallet out of reach during the whole 45 minutes I wasted my time meeting back up with him after a pretty hot 3 way client session a week prior) So in some ways, I can understand the client’s end of things. Clients don’t want to be used as a pawn ♟ There’s also 1 important thing I noticed in this thread, that no one mentioned: A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough I think what stands out, is the escort contacted the client and asked for a deposit. That in itself was the wrong move. The very few clients who have “sponsored” me, have done so out of their own generosity, and after speaking in person that “if I ever need anything, let them know”. I’d never initiate asking a deposit for future meetings. I would only do that if someone contacts me and wishes to schedule an appointment, not the other way around. Like the other week, someone requested an appointment in a nearby state. All I did was send him my booking links to confirm, and he sent me $500 before we had even set a date. Which was certainly more than what I was expecting. By the time I met him, I had only touched $50 of that, as that’s all I needed to get down there as accommodations were taken care of by him. But it just goes show: I didn’t ask, he offered. I simply made myself available, and did the run down as I always do. I ask for deposits, but generally for visits within the near future, and if it involves travel or hosting when it involve hotels (helps cut down on the “oh I can’t make it” brigade, after I’ve already paid for the venue) Not for some ambivalent future date.

Good questions, complex answers: but obviously unemployment and small business loans are the 1st to come to mind. I know someone in every capacity you mentioned. Especially bartenders. I haven't confided in everyone's personal financial business, but I know some people are relying on "Very limited". savings or already getting the benefits that have been distributed. I seen lots of people on social media flustered about the whole unemployment process, but there they were. Otherwise, self isolation...as I've said before and provided articles to explain, are meant for those people who have been actually confirmed and sick with the virus. Or those with high risks of dying from it, which certainly isn't men who have sex with men (the usual high risk group for other types of diseases). Social isolation was not intended to be a rule for every single human being in the country. You (along with some of the others in this thread) need to read the article I posted previously...so you understand better: Social distancing, quarantine, isolation Cancelling events that are likely to draw crowds is an example of social and physical distancing. People who have been exposed to the new coronavirus and who are at risk for coming down with COVID-19 might practice self-quarantine. For people who are confirmed to have COVID-19, isolation is appropriate. Isolation is a health care term that means keeping people who are infected with a contagious illness away from those who are not infected. The problem is, People are misinterpreting these terms, and using it to condemn and criticize the decisions of others. And THAT is what I have an issue with

I absolutely, 100% agree with the above (even though Kevin Slater is right 99.9% of the time lol). I tried that last month, opening a gofund me so I wouldn’t have to “directly” ask friends for assistance, after I came down with an unexpected health issue (non sexually related) and was out of commission for 6 days + over $800 in unexpected car repairs. I made it thru all 3, and survived (thank goodness it was before the brunt of the virus restrictions started making headlines) but it was the week after, that I really started to feel the sting. The money I had saved up and set aside, was gone. Add to that, I was out of town (living in Florida temporarily for the “In” season). My friends made a complete mockery out of me. Saying very rude things and giving horrible advice. I forgave them all, and they all came back around once they seen I came back, but in my spirit I will never forget. They’re all too happy to see me spend money around them, but in my eyes they were being mean spirited because I was in sunny Florida, while they were still stuck in winter. When the pandemic made headlines, I felt a sense of being understood (thru the universe). People finally understand you can lose all sense of financial stability, when something unexpected happens...out of your control. How I ultimately pulled myself together, were all client related. Had 3 clients from Thursday to Saturday which was 1,050 (obviously one was a longer session). Paid my RentMen ads, bills, then bounced back. The next week, 4 clients, then got out of dodge when Florida announced they’d be closing beaches. But I learned from there, most gay friends (and likely friends in general) are only around for convenience and during good times. Some do help...but only when you’re in their presence. Once you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind. And that’s why it’s so important that I continue to carry on during this time, because I can’t expect to fall back or get help from anyone else who’s not a client or Uncle Sam.

Thats great. And perhaps you can share that in the other thread as well: https://m4m-forum.org/threads/deposit-for-future-meetings-during-current-downtime.156950/page-3#post-1900144 On the 1 side, people here are saying it’s not safe and see no one. On the other end, there’s talks to not pay for an advance session with a provider. Without a working solution, some conversations don’t give much in the way of an alternative. So it’s helpful to get input from both sides. I know for me, I had went thru the trenches back in February and March. Health issues+car trouble all within 2 weeks. Then I kept having appointments fall thru back to back, all while being out of town. The pandemic is actually what finally allowed me to get a footing. Hotels emptied out, traffic eased up, and people needed relaxation asap. Those moments let me realize if I could make it thru that, even when it seemed impossible, I’m going to always try to find a way to get thru a situation. I had 2 helpful regulars, but 1 of my most reliable ones, couldn’t assist last month. So even though it makes for a great “business partner”, I know I have to still go out and do me regardless.

Wow, I actually feel honored. I never knew I had black magical ??‍♂️ powers. All I have to do is have an opinion about 2 people choosing to meet for an intimate experience, and I can use my powers on others who have nothing to do with the situation at hand? I think you need to stop being mean spirited and angry. It’s not good for your soul. Or the others who you virtually touch. Why are you so mean and nasty? Is that really who you are, or you just playing up a character? I’ve been seeing too many arguments breaking out on Facebook about people’s differing opinions. It’s doing absolutely nothing to bring people together. People are creating chaos and animosity, out of their judgmental comments and disagreeing with differing opinions.

I’m being judgmental in the least. I was referencing what another person had said, to another, about the level of risk faced when arranging a meet during this time. I’m using good judgement. If using good judgement means not meeting someone privately, 1 on 1 in the comforts of our own home, then I’m going to repeat what I’ve already said: 1 you can’t assume someone has or hasn’t already had it, and at the end of the day it’s still between 2 consenting adults. Period. Its not your call, or their call, or anybody else’s call. And regardless, there’s still a whole army of men out there who are looking and actively meeting other guys. Why? Because they want company or...perhaps other people are asking them to meet. So any qualms with me doing me, would be like trying to turn Lake Michigan into a desert, with a straw. Oh so now...you want me to look at the big picture of your example. And you’re using the forum to do so. Smart. Well in that case, you should be more open to differing opinions, considering each and every one of us are using our own what? Judgments. Sounds you’ve lost traction trying to make your point, and now you want to resort to calling my assertions something other than what it actually is? Well then you tell me, what is a not dumb assertion? Every example is not going to be tit for tat for what the issue is. Because obviously this is something novel. The point is all about the principle. Is driving safe? No. Is meeting up with a stranger in your home safe? No. But that’s why we make sensible decisions when doing so, to minimize the risk. There’s a difference between driving 100 mph, and driving the speed limit. There’s a difference between 2 healthy adults meeting in a private setting, versus being up close and personal with 10-20 people in a bar or bathhouse (not that I’ve ever caught anything from going to a bathhouse either...and I hope they can weather this because in some cities, they made for good late night crash out spots. Plus I’d always get my money’s worth because men are included, unlike with hotels...if you check in late, might waste money if nobody shows up). This thread asked 1 thing: is it safe to hire right now. With everything going on, it’s easy to give a 1 size fits all answer: no it’s not, UNTIL this is over. Well, that’s simply not true. You still have to maintain a level of safety regardless.

My condolences. But at the end of the day: YOU can do what you want to or not do. But what I’m saying: nobody should judge us, or our clients, for wanting to meet. Anything more is being judgmental. What do people want to hear, “don’t meet anyone. You’re gonna die. Or kill everyone around you.” Well then if that’s how you feel, so be it. I’m not telling anyone to do anything. Stay home, remain celibate if that’s what you want to do. I’m not judging you. I’m going to go out here and fuck, like I’ve been doing, and be okay.

You’re looking at statistics. I’m talking real life, day to day stuff. What nonsense am I spouting? The fact that people shouldn’t have false sense of hopes of safety after the pandemic, considering all the stuff that goes around regardless? And to not judge others for their consensual 1 on 1 meetings, something that’s being going on for long before COVID 19. Again, don’t take it personal. You’re absolutely right. Perhaps we all should stop driving as well, considering it’s contributing to global warming, and all the people who have died in car accidents. I don’t want to be responsible, for an accident: But wait: isn’t that why we practice safe driving, seatbelts, and education? Same as with sex work: I’m not negating the risks or toll the virus has caused...BUT, that doesn’t mean to stop “doing me”, that just means using caution in the process...but isn’t that what we’ve (hopefully) been doing all along?

One word: Hypothetically. That’s the examples you’re giving me. Yes, bodies are being stored in refrigerator trucks. But my question is, is it the first time? I think not. Remember this: Someone earlier said it’s not all about me. And I’m glad they said that. They are absolutely, 100% right it’s not all about me. Because if it was, clients wouldn’t be calling me asking if I’m available. Again, it goes back to those 2 valuable words: 2 consenting adults. All the riff raff and extra scenarios, are just unnecessary chatter. Nothing more to say to it. I’m done with this conversation. And yes, I will say it’s not less safe. Ever since this, all my clients have been wonderful, I’ve been dealing with less BS, and people have been a lot nicer overall. Clients have also been offering hand sanitizer, taking extra steps for hygiene, and being more understanding. So yeah, I’d say it’s definitely a safe time to hire and be hired right now. Are we not entitled to opinions, or does everyone want to hear the same ole, repetitive responses and not learn or be open to anything different? Defeats the purpose of a conversation if you ask me.

Good Lord. You sound worse than these guys: Just for the record: I’ve been taking visits all this time. I’m still alive. And been checking with all my clients, they too are still alive. And I keep seeing the same guys ad infinite online, and considering I’m sure they’re also hooking up...without my help, are still alive. Let’s all come back to earth. Please, and thankyou.

But how many people actually survive when confronted with a serial killer, versus COVID 19? Remember, most people are recovering. Bless their soul the ones who have died, but...so did the flu, asthma, hiv, diabetes, cancer, etc etc, etc. I’m not downplaying anything. But, what I’m not going to do, is paint the business as being unsafe now, and more safe last year.

It was never about ME. Period. And don’t go presumptively accusing me of being some type of serial killer. Because that is being a drama queen. Again too with you, your anger is misplaced. Example: last Easter I went to go visit a friend at his house. He was alone, and needed company. However, he also informed me he had watched his nephews the night before AND...had his frat brothers over prior to my arrival. So...should I have blamed him for hypothetically “exposing” me, because he had other people around him, before I came over? Absolutely not. So how in the ?, should I or any other sex worker (or gay man on Grindr, adam, Scruff, etc etc etc) working in a 1 on 1 capacity, be blamed for killing people...who I’ve not even met? I haven’t met my “aunts” in over 3-4 years lol. There’s hardly any aunts left to kill lol. 1 died when I was younger of asthma, one from a brain tumor, my grandma died of cancer, 3 grandfathers died of prostate cancer....long before COVID 19 was even a word. Have a seat. And a chill pill. Please. Thankyou.

What’s plain ignorant is giving people the false sense of belief that this period is any less safe than any other period, after that after this pandemic is “over”, it’ll be “safe” to hire again. The reason why I mentioned those things, is to make the point that even if and when this thing is long gone, it doesn’t make the biz (or any OTHER type of meeting with a stranger, for sex) any more or less safe than it was around this time last year. Think about the times of serial killers. Do you think people (specifically sex workers) didn’t have their fears and doubts during the time? Was it suddenly “safe” once the killer was caught? Or did people still need to practice common sense, screening, and health assessments? You can huff and puff and tell me it’s different all you want. Whether you wish to see me or not is your prerogative. But when push comes to shove, we’re talking about SAFTEY. And I’m not going to let someone who’s not a sex worker themselves, tell me how to handle my business. Your anger is misdirected. If you’re going to be upset at me, also be upset at the clients who are wanting to have a bit of relaxation for an hour or 2. And my last 2 clients were fit clients who were also business owners with big bank accounts. It’s not like I’m out here pulling senior citizens out of wheel chairs. Don’t be dramatic.

It did kinda happen in the 80s.... right? The H and the A word? But then again, there are different hair styles for different hair types. The ones I get generally involve an edge up, and that can sometimes cut into the skin if done too sharp. In my case, even though I'm not getting perfectly lined up edges and cuts, I've learned my hair pattern, and just been taking an all around with a guard, and learned how to do my front edges long time ago...sometimes when out of town for weeks, I may be in an unfamiliar area and don't want to look for or can’t find, barbers that specialize in ethnic hair.

My point exactly. But was it ever? Since when is it ever 100% SAFE to hire? There’s stings, STDs, catfishes, robbers, unauthorized drugs, paper trails, meddling neighbors, unexpected partners showing up...list goes on. WHY all of a sudden is it NOT safe to hire? That’s the whole point I’m making, as to why the fear and judging is absolutely unfounded. We’ve been taking risks all this time, and only now....NOW, it’s a big deal. Just to add...because it seems some people have been offended by my comment, which wasn’t mean to be insensitive. I found that meme to tweak curiosity and mirror what we’re dealing with (although I don’t promote the words “Americans for limited government”. Yes, the panic now is bigger than the virus. But the key is to minimize. Instead of asking if it’s safe: You don’t want to infect the escort, which is sensible...then you can get tested. Then make the right decision from there.

I haven’t put “available now” in my ads for a good little while. However, I do see plenty of other providers doing so. For me, it’s more of just I am rarely “available now”, so I’m not going to go out of my way to do so. I’m not going around passing out flyers and cold calling. I’m just sitting here having a glass of wine, alone, as I do everyday. I can’t control what other people want to do. If someone is going to judge, judge the others who are out having get togethers and private, with less than 10 people meetups. There’s no if ands or buts about it. People often want to say, “well that’s different”. But it’s not.

I seen this graph the other day, and thought it was helpful because it is arranged like planets in the solar system. COVID is like a full moon, HIV is like the size of Earth, whereas others in history have been like Jupiter, Saturn and Neptune. Talk about a pain in Uranus ? Of course just because a planet (or pandemic) is small in comparison, doesn’t make it small in size. That’s true. I mean already, I’ve been reading crazy news stories that you just don’t normally hear about. What needs attention just as much as coronavirus? Mental health. Crisis mitigation. And it’s being put on the back burner. And the looneys are out in FULL scale. Hikacking buses in Dallas, threatening to bomb hospitals, driving like bats ? out out of hell... Can’t just lose the nose to save face.

What a happy ending (no pun intended). It's always good to have a client who's willing to front us during the hard times. This is my personal opinion, and I know there's clients who never send deposits or cancel fees, but may tip double the price. So it doesn't mean they aren't generous. But at the same time, I think sometimes people see us tit for tat with other lines of work. Like aka, "i don't pay my dentist upfront". Well yeah but you're not fucking your dentist and seeing naked pictures of him though, are you? And that's the thing: escorts are working technically, even when we're not meeting in person. In some ways, an escort can be like a family or good friend you'd send money to if they needed it. Not just a "Business". Other day I had a client I've never met before drop $500 in my account. Far more than I expected. But, the drive was 3 hours and considering my other client before him royally stood me up, I wasn't complaining. I also have "sponsors" who are willing to front me for future sessions. I felt bad that one in particular was unable to meet me last month. But I was there in his state for nearly 2 months, and he just wasn't able to meet timing wise. Hopefully in the near future. At the same time, I don't want to be in a position where I'm accepting funds months and years in advance, because by then...too much time will have gone by and an escort may feel technically out of pocket.

Exactly. Hell I'm doing it now to get clients now. With less competition on the forefront, this could potentially be a buffet in the Serengeti. The drawback is there is still some folks out of work. Business owners are taking the time to renovate and remodel. However, my belief is, people like to use natural disasters and mass layoffs as a reason they can't afford something. But in reality, they would be giving the same ole tired excuse whether they were working or not. Like one guy said yesterday, "i wish i could afford you". Well my rates aren't even listed. How you just automatically assume anything? And that's what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to run off scared, and then come crawling back. I might as well stay immersed in the game, that way I won't be scared to come back.

Could be. Then again I checked the small markets. There still guys in bigger cities advertising available now.

As an aside: has anyone noticed? The amount of ads on both RentMen and RentMasseur has taken a steep dive. Many cities are seeing just 1 page of ads. What I’m seeing is on par with the amount of providers that were around back in 2008-2009, before it came the overly saturated that we once knew of pre-Corona. I just hope RentMen and company can keep things afloat. But I would hope they have a hefty reservoir at this point.