JB_Studio38

It sounds a bit confusing. Not you, but just in general. If he said let’s hang out as friends, and you paid him anyway...how can he be upset at what you paid him. Why did you feel to pay him, if he just wanted to hang out as friends and didn’t want pay? Was it perhaps, “I don’t want you as a client, but just friends” or do you think it was more of a “I enjoyed my time and you as a person so much, I don’t want to limit it to paid arrangement” kind of way or a “I don’t feel comfortable performing services with you” type of way? Because I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum as an escort, and have voiced it accordingly. Were there perhaps some misinterpretations on either end?

It was just this time last week, I had pulled $1,200 in 1 weekend visiting a new market. Which was great. And if it happened EVERY week like it’s supposed to, that’d be a nice $62K a year decent income. But it didn’t make up for the other 2-3 weeks prior where I had no bookings. And once again, it’s been another weekend of no bookings. Lots of inquiries, and texts...but no bookings. It’s hard to tell if it’s COVID, the hookup apps, the market I’m in (been mainly in medium sized Midwest cities, as opposed to high traffic places like San Fran, Boston, DC, etc), all of the above or just me. But more and more it seems to be the same: I get back to back days with nothing, followed by a day or two where 2 to 3 clients at the same time. Then back to unexpected stretches of Timewaster, after Timewaster after the next. If someone took a scroll thru my text feed, they would probably want to cry for me, seeing the amount of “let down” texts I receive day in, day out. Conversations that suddenly went unanswered, last minute cancels, and just general flakiness. Even regulars who were previously good the first time or a few times, are becoming the biggest Timewasters. I can’t even count how many client relationships have gone bad over the past couple years, because they contact me, I stop what I’m doing to respond to them and entertain their requests, only to get stood up time after time. They don’t seem to see anything wrong with it. They put the blame on me as if I cold called them. No, YOU reached out to me, and interrupted what I was doing, to stop and converse with you. Yet they want to cry extortion and lawyers when I ask to get some kind of reimbursement for the time I lost for #1 arranging my time for them, and #2 being out expected earnings. I had a client friend today say, “well doesn’t everyone get no shows”. I would think. But it’s not just “no shows”. It’s hours added up of legwork, and not seeing the appropriate return. And I’ve said before, I’ve spend $150 a month on ads, just to be frustrated. I wouldn’t be complaining if like back in the days of Craigslist, it was just free advertising. But I’m spending my money, only to be harassed by bullshit all week long. It makes no sense. One guy I know was like, it just seems to really get to you. In a way that insinuated, I’m too weak to handle it ??‍♂️ But it’s easy to say when one doesn’t understand how it feels to be in a position where you’re already financially limited, having to entertain inquiries and getting hopes up 2 or 3 times a day expecting a booking, and not getting one. Thinking when the next text comes thru, a booking will come out of it. Yet it doesn’t. And then it happens multiple times a week. Until the 1 or 2 good days come along, in which the money goes quickly because too many days went by not getting any serious inquiries. It’s as if advertising has become more of a job search, than an actually job itself. I left the workforce because I didn’t like the idea of going on interviews, and doing lots of legwork for employers that wouldn’t end up hiring me anyway. But it’s become a point where being full time escort is seeming careless. I’m feeling forced to have to get another job, in order to continue being an escort. Sounds clichè? Because it seems I always need to maintain somewhere to host, because most clients can’t. And I have to keep paying $150/mo.+ for ads... unless I just start cutting some websites: namely Adam4Adam and RentMasseur which seem to have the majority of the flakes. I’ve took up other forms of sex work (massage/fans sites), but it’s all 1 in the same. It used to seem that guys who full-timed escort were like a badge of honor. We devoted ourselves to this industry, and were in turn taken very seriously. And did well. But now it’s just a game, and I just don’t see how I am supposed to support myself much longer, at this rate.

There is a way to do it: go to privacy settings, click disable instant messenger. It’s where you can remove your phone number, disable emails, disable map, etc. I have personally kept my IM feature, but I have what someone called “boilerplate” response, with a nice hello, my rates, and instructions to text. In auto reply function on Rentmen. It’s fucking AMAZING how many mother fuckers never bother to text, or will continue to chat with my auto-message (and as a disclaimer I even say, AUTO REPLY” at the beginning of the message) that I never read until 3-4 days later, because I don’t have time for that shit. I’m debating to get rid of all the fucking shit that just continues to annoy me, and detract from the overal sex work experience: RentMen messenger, RentMassuer email, and Adam4Adam. All it does is create an additional way for idiots to waste our time, and something else I have to remember to check. And never really see any profit from it. I’m done. There’s only going to be 1 way to get in touch with me going forward: Text. I already have my templates in place. Anything that requires me to reel people in, is more work than I care for. I sat and replied to about 10 instant messages from the other day, and not 1 responded back or as far as I know...bothered to text the number I included. If I have to constantly stay plugged in, interacting with people sending me messages...I need to be getting paid for that. This ain’t no virtual learning, working from home jive. I used to like it how Men4Rent had it: each email “usually” included a section where the client’s name, phone Number, email, and city they were in we’re required. These dumb asses on Rentmen messenger don’t even know how to properly introduce or address someone. Asking to meet when I have no idea what city they’re in. That’s why I had to create a dummy response so they could.

You’d be surprised. I had to firmly explain to a client the other day: you’re only paying me 250, yet you’re asking me to save my loads AND cum “multiple” times and/or twice. I told him, that essentially means me revolving my entire visit around 250. Which is absolutely unreasonable, because that would likely mean not having any energy for other clients. I didn’t drive 500 miles for $250. I told him if he wants all that, he has to do like my other clients who request that: book an overnight for $1,000+travel. Otherwise I’m going to be leaving empty handed and empty juiced ? lol. Despite that, he still got 1 good sloppy load. But I wasn’t going to “save” it for him, nor do it more than once. Cum is not a non-renewable resource, but I do have to spread the love equally lol. I know it’s important to play up on the “this is only for you”, but it also makes sense to be reasonable about demands. And some guys expect too much. A traveling escort cumming more than once for a 1 or 2 hour session is far too demanding.

For traveling providers (or those who meet us) I’ve got bitten by the travel bug, and decide to make my rounds (unfortunately me staying in the same market during this Covid time would likely mean having to quit, considering it’s been quite dead in my local area). I recently had a “long“ weekend, which has involved me cumming 4 times. All were quite impressive loads ?, but after my last one and then Monday hit...I lost all my drive and energy, at-least temporarily until I was able to hit the gym and replenish testosterone. Which is an issue because, I don’t usually do the fly into a city for a couple days and go home. My visits tend to be longer “tours” that last for a week or a month. I don’t really like being the guy who holds back on cumming because needing to see other clients. I find 2nd and 3rd loads (spread out over a course of a day or 2...NOT in a 1 hour session like some clients demand) can have more intensity than the 1st. However, the drawback is after the 3rd or 4th time, I need like a couple of days break from anything sexual. When traveling, that could be 2 days of travel expenses without seeing any clients. Then it may be no calls outside of one’s control, for 2 days on top of that. I try to go to cities where I know people, as it helps to be able to crash in someone’s guest room for a couple days to replenish (which is what I’m doing now). However, I’m starting to wonder if I need to scale back on shooting loads, and maybe just reserve them for clients who book longer sessions. At the same time, I do feel at the rate of 200 to 300, it’s only fair to share the juice ??‍♂️ But my body is not a machine either ?

THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING AND CLARIFYING!!! I just walked away from this thread because an innocent comment was misconstrued and taken FAR out of context. But, I can’t help myself to peek sometimes to see where it ended up. That’s exactly what I meant. If someone is going to ask, “if escorts hire other escorts”, be prepared to hear the answer. I don't hire other escorts because my income as an escort is not comparable to that of a client. And I’m talking $250/hr guys. Not $40 guys looking for dope. No diss or offense (and my 1st and only time paying for it was unintendedly with my X boyfriend 15 years ago, for $40 for dope ? I knew he needed it to make him “horny”) but just speaking as it pertains to this discussion. Many clients I have known over the years, get hotels paid for, food stipends, and salaries. We on the other hand, have to pay to work: hotels, ads, grooming, transportation etc. I would even burst the bubble and say, most escorts likely don’t hire other escorts because they can’t afford it. If you’re having s*x for money, you’re probably not trying to pay for it in exchange. If an escort can hire another escort, more power to them. But that’s not the majority. And my experience is, most escorts who have contacted me... even ones doing better than me financially, offered to meet WITHOUT PAY. And unless it’s an offer to make a just for fans video, I usually don’t accept because...they don’t offer anything of value (support, networking, dinner, etc), they just want a freebie. And to get even deeper: people need to understand clients and escorts are 2 different breeds. Even though we transact with one another intimately, the goals are not the same. That’s what I been learning as I’ve developed closer relationships with clients. Some of them see sex as a prize or a treat for themselves. I see sex as either something I can support myself off of, or something I do when I’m wanting to take it to the next level with someone, or can relate to outside of the bedroom. Outside of escorting, if I can’t relate to someone outside of the bedroom, or they don’t have any interest to meet outside of the bedroom, they’ll likely just be a 1 time thing...if we ever even get to the first time. That’s why I don’t really seek out hookups either. Because the agendas are so different, me paying a guy is not conducive to what I’m looking for. I’m not making money fucking him, and he’s not going to be my boyfriend by me paying him. Therefore, there’s no need for me to spend my money on the encounter. Point blank, period. There’s a (Rather cute) guy now who started as a client, but we been “seeing” each other. I’m close to telling him, I don’t see a point in us fucking anymore. It’s feeling like we’re just fucking, just to fuck. He’s not helping me with my video platforms, he’s not paying me...at this point I feel like there’s not much point in us having sex anymore. I’m not some insatiably horny guy who NEEDS a designated sex partner. I recently went 2 weeks without sex or jerking off, and was okay with it. I wasn’t going to give it up for free or find someone to pay, to satisfy my urge. I just waited my turn for someone who could buy.

Good analysis. BUT...Before we make that conclusion, read the thread I made earlier: Most of those attractive guys popping up, may simply be a mirage...

Well I know 1 thing: Kansas City has been under fire recently for an event where supposedly a pregnant black woman was arrested and pinned down by LE. It's created a stir in the city, and I can't say those type of incidents do any good for biz. Everytime it happens, it just gets slow and stays dead for a couple of weeks. It wasn't all out riots, but over the last 2 weeks it was so dead business wise, I had to make an emergency exit out of the area. I hadn't had a client in 2 weeks, and finances were running critically low after paying bills and escort ads the week before, and not making a goddamn dime back. I even froze one of my ads until I was ready to leave, because it was so dead and just a waste of paid time Meanwhile traveling escorts still seem to come thru. Be warned. It's dead. I spoke to one who reached out to me, who was citing how slow it was for him last month. I said, I wouldn't of wasted my money going to Kansas City. I only go to connect with relatives, and when I do host someone, they have to pay me a deposit in advance. Otherwise, they'll never show up. Ever.

yeah I think the most judgmental ness comes from the attractive business age/career types in early-mid 30s (like me) It’s almost like guys of this age seem like, once you get to a certain age/point, you’re supposed to have your shit together and “be career minded”, not out “turning tricks”. lately I’ve not come across it much because I have started to be open to friendships with clients more so than the routine scene queens. But, I know the best way to avoid the conversation is to always pretend everything is perfect, thus avoiding any, “maybe it’s time to...” But at the end of the day, I think it also goes to show that there’s people who judge us (escorts) and them (clients) for the same reasons. Why judge each other.

You’d be surprised. Some of the more judgmental guys I’ve met, were rather attractive types.

Oh Gawd, here you go again starting shit you were not invited to reply to ??‍♂️ For your information, I absolutely have no reason to be contradictory. I don’t hire other escorts. That’s what I said. What you’re talking about assumes I am actually contacting and suggesting plans with escorts (like some flake clients do), versus me just flat out saying without shame: I know I don’t have the discretionary funds to hire an escort, nor do I wish to imagine I do. Therefore you would never catch me going around making calls to do so. Unless it was for the mutual purpose of creating content which could help either earn additional funding/clients. Which is a new way working guys are connecting...versus just trying to get a free session off of someone just because “we’re both plumbers, so we should work each other’s pipes and plumbing”. That’s a lot different than a client flaking out and having an emergency for a planned, paid arrangement, not reimbursing for hotel or travel cost or lost earnings, and then having it be a recurring event. Especially when they contacted me and initiated the encounter to begin with. Get your shit straight ✋?

same here. I used to sit around and argue and explain and let them know I was fine. But now I’m quick to just say, let’s just end it here... And if I’m entertaining him as a guest:

The new trend lately: we can be open to meet other escorts for content creating for private video sites. I haven’t hired before, because one I don’t have the discretionary income (imagine that I pay my ideal escort $300, then have an emergency I hadn’t saved for, 2 weeks later) But I’m also just a naturally do it myself kinda person. I detail my car, carry my own bags up, and I usually prefer getting to know someone instead of hookups in my personal lifestyle.

Next to non. Someone may be attractive and charming, but considering they contacted a pro...the paying part is all part of the experience. It’s like, a person could stay at home and drink for free, but they may want to still prefer to tip a bartender on top of the already inflated price of the alcohol. It’s all part of the experience. Sure a free shot here and there is nice but... they won’t make any money passing out free drinks ‘all’ night

Customer relations specialist:

or even the website itself...hence another rentboy shutdown, which can once again ruin business for already struggling sex workers ? But really the main problem: Instagram and Facebook. People always posting themselves on Instagram with 100,000 followers, how does anyone even know who all these people are. There are plenty catfish ? in the sea that’s for sure Whoa whoa now lol. I met him at a bar in DC few years ago. I seen him, at Nellies, surrounded by his “clique”. I got to know the clique, and then by the end of the night the party moved to the “ethnic” bar of Fireplace. Got his number. Funny thing, we didn’t hookup that trip because he’s not “W******” like that, but on my next visit down the line, we linked up. Those pics aren't necessarily best representation though. But the audacity of the person to spend on a gold ad at that. I could barely even afford a gold ad last month myself (I've paid $150 for ads before the month was out, and haven't had 1 person since, though I do have 1 booked for tomorrow). Let alone someone chancing paying $80 to use fake pics and not be reported.

Mask or no mask, all I know is biz is being seriously affected. It was already slow before the pandemic (missing websites, hookup apps etc), this just puts the nail in the coffin. Since I been back home from short tour last Saturday, haven’t had any bookings. Barely even an inquiry. Most weeks, I get one time where I see 1 or 2 in a day, the rest I’m going 5 days not making a dime. And all those dead days make the money go so fast when I get it. Most days don’t even know what to do or where to turn. Even one of my regular client told me he’s not able to do anything anymore because his IRA has been in decline. I’m just about ready to leave. Maybe just get out of the Midwest to start. I have no hopes of finding a suitable new job right now. And unemployment had the nerve to say my cut wasn’t due to COVID-19. If I show them all the texts I’ve gotten about “probably need to wait til this virus is over” shit, then maybe they’ll believe.

This just goes to show how fictitious some of these RentMen ads are, and also why they could stand to come up with some extra ways to verify ads, because that affects us as escorts as well as the client pool. I was browsing thru San Jose Ads, for a potential Travel visit. And came across this ad: https://rentmen.eu/Prettyboyromee This is a guy I’ve known for years and dated/hooked up with in Washington DC. I texted my friend like, I didn’t know you were an escort in San Jose??? Lol. Not to mention all the stats were off. Height, weight, dick size and all. Edit: point is that’s not him posting, and I confirmed that he’s definitely not in California lol. He didn’t even know what RentMen was ??‍♂️ He actually had a good laugh off of it though. But stuff like this just not right because, guys use these peoples picture and give us all a bad name. I had a session with a client, and he called a guy advertising on both rentmen and Grindr, as a tatted up ripped guy. Dude shows up and takes off his clothes, it’s nothing like the pics. Client went thru with it anyway, but that’s just such a cheap shot. And talking with the guy afterward, he claimed to have been in the biz for a couple years, and had traveled all over.

Did I allude that I wasn't taking it to heart? I agree in the same. The only concern I have, is how many visitors could end up blocked off in the long run. In my current area, I've got so many numbers blocked, that I almost wonder if I've closed off most of the hiring pool here. I mean, when it boils down to it..it often seems to be the same guys are using the sites and they probably contact escorts in rounds. So it gets more complicated than just "no". Do I be the forgiving and unbothered escort that just let's people change their minds or "have stuff come up" at random, despite me expecting that a session is taking place. And just roll with it, knowing that if they booked me once, maybe they'll come around and book me 3-4 months later? Or do I take notes, and possibly end up letting other escorts get booked by these guys on the days they decide to actually go forward with a session? I seen a guy traveling thru here this week, and we've often ended up in the same markets before. I'm thinking to myself, either he must be very dead here, or some of my blocked contacts are booking him. Because I'm looking at my past hotel trip itinerary, last time I booked a place to host an appointment was around August 8th for 1 day. That's in between traveling from other cities, but still. It's just sad. That a city can be so dead and there's nothing you can do about it because, everytime a text comes thru it's just another mother fucker on some bullshit. I'd be hard pressed to believe, he got more than 1 or 2 clients here. If that.

I wish more people had this mindset. The other week I got so frustrated, because some of these guys cancel, or flake, or don’t say anything about something came up, until I send my cancellation request. Then they want to sit and argue with me over some shit that they contacted me to arrange to begin with. If someone going to give the expectation of being paid, it’s just a real dick move to leave them hanging. It probably wouldn’t bother me as much if I had bookings coming left and right throughout the week. Not to mention, I just paid $150 for 3 ads since last week, and with the exception of my regulars who were already in my contacts and some inquiries in other cities, I haven’t made a single penny back. Might as well just use Twitter to advertise for free. That’s what makes it harder to keep a level head. I pay all this money for ads, only to have my time wasted or phone dead. I think going forward, I’m sticking to basic ads and keeping my ad budget to under $100 a month unless I plan to be in a big market. This is a travesty.

Count your blessings and be grateful of your position. Some of us have left the workforce all together, and now trying to figure out whether to go back or keep on grinding. Even worse, trying to get back into it after so many years, is nothing short of a mirage. At the same time, as I’ve said before...I am not on hiatus (even though I’ve let my Rentmen ad go, but that’s more because it’s been dead and a waste of time in my area. I’m also timing it so I don’t have to renew again before Halloween). I don’t have any reason to let the virus hinder my continuing in the business. Even periodic shutdowns and cases rising have no bearing on my decision. I’m just glad the majority of the same clients who were in touch with me last year, still in contact this year. Of course even my decisions can’t override trends and what’s actually going on. I’m not on hiatus but I still feel a void many days. ?

that’s why it’s a good idea to try and meet guys with either RentMen videos or Justforfans obviosuly that’s not guarantee of chemistry, but it’s still a good way to get some sort of visual. I understand not wasting time or energy, but in the case of @RyanChambers, I woulda made a point about a cancellation fee. And the ones who don’t want to do it, get an honorable mention on social media. But at the same time, it’s also why I’ve just become 100% deposit based. I decided awhile back I don’t even want to take appointments in advance without a deposit. The only time I may let it slide, is if someone is wanting to meet within an hour or 2, and THEY can host (versus me hosting and they don’t show up). But even over Labor Day I had a client send a deposit, and tried to cancel within minutes of me getting off his exit. ??‍♂️ I called him like, dude...it’s Labor Day Monday. Traffic was backed up every few miles. So he ended up keeping it. I think had I not requested the deposit, he might of blocked me. But who knows, he probably was stood up by other providers in the past.

??‍♂️ atypical. “Something came up” and then using Covid as a convenient backdrop. And what you’re saying is not a “complaint” like some seem lead to believe. It’s a valid concern that needs call for change. I wrote RentMen the other day, about similar description as yours...and only got “we will forward your concern to the RentMen webmaster” or something along those lines. Which at least is a response, and I feel they are acknowledging: but they need to take the route that Men4Rent took: Allowing registered providers to privately “review” clients, and have a search function to do so. That atleast helps create an accessible list for advertisers, despite some providers having their own private blacklist. I have a loooooong list of blocked numbers in my phone. Ironically, many start with 816/913 (Kansas Shitty...In the top 10 for time wasters per capita, and I feel bad for traveling escorts who come thinking they’re going to make much of anything), 407/813 (Tampon/PoorLando), 612 (For some strange reason, lots of Timewaster’s come from visiting Minnesotans despite the city itself being okay to work from). I also have 4 numbers from Palm Springs as “Palm Springs Timewaster”. Denver is also among the top 10. But see, this is exactly why too, I’m going to start to renewing my efforts in the bar game. I had a client I met at the bar the other day, and he seemed like he didn’t want to do it (and rightfully said so), but he didn’t walk away and I was just enjoying the drinks that kept coming anyway. $250 later, I was up in the hotel room. Problem with the internet and RentMen, #1 it’s too many options, and #2 it’s too easy to play around and be anonymous. I mean, picking clients from gay bars isn’t necessarily an easy feat, and for me I have to keep myself busy with a drink... so it’s not something I can do every night or even every week. But the online escort game is becoming lonely, frustrating, and diminishing returns. I only had to spend $3 on 1 drink last week, to pick up a client. RentMen: spend $80, let 4 guys waste your time before getting maybe 1 or 2 clients in 2 weeks ?

I just came back from a 4 day rendezvous in the Midwest. Short trip, but still involved some travel. There are some places in the Midwest that have very loose restrictions, others are very tight (St. Louis for example). Going into October, I’m ready to hit the ground running ? ? ??? Definitely going to up the travel game. I have no choice because my 2 home locations have become devoid. Hoping to get it in before the week of Halloween, which can tend to be kinda slow the week of, especially now that Halloween is on a Saturday this year. Only concern, I’m also seeing other escorts traveling as well...and some seem to keep ending up in the same markets that I am in. So with that, I have to try and make sure I’m not in the same city at the same times. I know that sounds petty, but in certain small markets...having more than 1 traveling escort/masseur in town tends to lessen the chances of being able to stand out.

Thanks Tyger ? for your very insightful evaluation (even though this thread is several months old, it still bears keeping it in consideration) Even though I do support the RentM enterprise, I have shared some thoughts with them as well. I am appreciative that they have allowed more than 250 characters at the time of this post. I can understand the benefits of having different tier levels of memberships, but I do feel the same that they are consensually raping us to a degree. And I say consensual because we are paying for the advertising, however I’ve suggested to them before that they are pocketing far more than we are in the long run. And they should be allowing us to use our private pics and video views to “pay” for the ads...essentially letting clients pay for our ads. Not us paying $80-$100, then having our time wasted by 2 or 3 clowns before finally getting 1 serious person. Make THEM pay for our advertising. Directly. Not out of our earnings. Lately I’ve just stuck with the Gold ads and have not done a platinum boost in idk how long. I wasn’t really finding it helping much, and in small or crowded markets, you can pay for platinum multiple times, and still not get any bookings from it immediately. I have also told Rentmen that, with the current pandemic, I’m getting half the serious clients, yet paying double the price...that I was 2 years ago. I feel a gold ad should be restructured to $39.99 or maybe even $49.99 with a recurring membership like RentMasseur, not $79. And like Tyger said, our “other“ overheads are endless. Last week was car insurance, this week is tag registration and inspection plus new brakes (I’ve logged over 2,500 miles in September traveling for appointments, because my current market is nearly unsustainable) Last thing I need, is more advertising costs on my coat tails.