JB_Studio38

Exactly. But not just escort situations either. Even your day to day hookups can be that way. There’s a lot of people out there having sex just to get off...being “into” someone may only go as far as the moment in the bedroom. Maybe they were perfectly into the sex, but perhaps not the person themselves. That’s why I’ve stepped back from the hookup circuit a bit. You can ride the conveyor belt of hookups, without getting a 2nd or 3rd encounter out of it. Nothing bad or sad about it, but after awhile it starts feeling pointless, unless it’s someone you really into like that...but you have to then separate real from fantasy. . If I do that, I much rather do it with a client who’s atleast apparent in investing in my time. Unfortunately, I’ve also come to see many clients are either happily married...or chronically single, and for apparent reason. If anything “more” comes of it, has to be with considerate understanding.

You just answered the question. What works for one isn’t going to work for another. Matter of fact: what may work for the same guy 1 day, may not work for him the next day. Or even next part of day. example: if you contact me when I’m at work wanting to meet when you’re getting in the car, I’m going to tell you to get out the car, and go back inside. But if you contact say...it’s in the evening and my ad says “available now”, then I may take your request. AND, that assumes the escort can even host, which many clients seem to assume we are, which is not always the case. People expect us to be ready to host them with hardly no notice. But, those same people aren’t able to host us with such short notice, if ever at all. So I’ve had to drop most of the “can I come over right now” brigade.

You sound effing ridiculous right about now. Nothing in the previous person's quote alluded to a safety concern. All he said was it seemed too straightforward. He also added that English was maybe not his first language. Nothing about that seemed to imply imminent danger. Therefore your statement re: if you feel uncomfortable don't meet, is not applicable there. You're mistaking uncomfortable as judgmental, which you seem to be the poster child of. Now, had you said: if you are uncomfortable, say you need more information or talk over the phone to meet...then I woulda been like, sure. But to flat out dismiss by saying don't meet, just comes off like a dick. And I say that because dicks usually do shit like that: I've had guys claim to have arrived to my hotel, gotten my room number, and then say; "sorry I got spooked/uncomfortable". Then I'm like, what the hell???

It’s only messy if the situation isn’t handled properly. I used to be quite weirded out by making friends or becoming too close with clients. Lately, I’ll say I’m spending more time doing that, than trolling hookup apps or bars (and of course, the bar scene in many cities is dismal at the moment due to C19 restrictions). Most clients I find who are open to stuff beyond the clock, tend to be more respectful in situations than someone off the apps. Some clients may still be on the apps anyway, but I often find they wouldn’t be the ones I’d go for...however after meeting in real life, it’s different. I’m usually straight up, I’m not trying to jump into a partnered situation, be their regular fuck buddy, or be their 24/7 escort. I can temporarily be a mild combination of the 3, long as they keep it in perspective. But if they want company, or wish to help in whatever venture I may have going on at the time, I’m down. However I will say, my only reservations with keeping clients as “friends” off clock, some seem to view it as a convenient way to get on demand sex. Not necessarily for free, or a bad thing. But sometimes after so many hookups, the sex part can seem redundant. Which lately has had me wondering because I been seeing a guy (started as a client), and even though we have great bed chemistry, sometimes afterwards, I get those feelings of, “I don’t think we should have sex anymore”. Maybe its just conditioning from being a sex worker, but sometimes I like to feel there’s a purpose to having sex. Having sex just to have sex, or jacking off just to jack off, seems pointless to me. There either needs to be some long term attraction built up, making some videos, or services rendered.

That rule is more reserved for realistic safety situations. In the case of the quoted concern, it’s merely just a case of communication. If everyone didn’t meet because of a difference in writing styles, or planning styles, or having shy/uncomfortable moments...nobody would ever get laid.

Exactly. And so one can only imagine why it becomes distracting when someone...or a string of people, ditch out. I am appreciative that Rentmen has developed covid safe/freeze mode, and I'd guess many guys are using it wisely. I am using it right now for my Rentmen ad because, I had it up all holiday weekend and got nothing but a tentative booking in the next town over, who cancelled anyway. So I'm not fixing to be wasting billing hours, just letting an ad run, if there's nothing coming from it locally. I have been freezing my ad for like a week or 2 at a time, but not much longer. It's just enough time to de-advertise during days when I need to handle other real life stuff, and not in the position to host or travel across the city last minute. And with the exception of 1 client the other night, this just happens to be that week.

100% and to add...some of us just may simply be busy. In case anyone doesn’t understand, it’s hard waiting day by day, hour per hour for a booking to come thru. And for the most part, I don’t really do that unless I’m traveling someplace specifically for appointments. Even though there’s a sense of freedom in our ventures, that doesn’t mean we are constantly free. I wish I could get someone “now” when I’m ready, but reality has it that unless you’re in a prime and busy market, or actually out in person advertising...most days are spent just trying to find ways to stay occupied and not fixated on when the next client is going to come. So when someone reaches out and wants instant attention by sending lots of texts, going ??? when they only sent the message 3 minutes ago, and commanding immediate attention, it just sets the wrong tone.

Not the answer you’re seeking, but I’ve had client here and there play me songs on Keyboard. Crash course lessons on music. My most recent was a friend of mine who played a couple of songs on the guitar ? while me and another friend fucked to the music ? A good way to practice getting comfortable in front of others for video shoots

And in kind, I would assume that because a provider on RM has verified photos/ID and reviews...that sending money in advance typically shouldn’t be something looked down upon, even if mintboys says otherwise. But obviously the quality is different as well. Then again, that’s what could make it hard for “real” escorts to post on a site, if the site is actually advising against an escort having a verification process of their own. In that case, it makes me wonder: who’s manning the ship ? ?

Okay. Let me try to reason with, as I have to do with others, when I have the will. You were burned once. By whom? Did they have reviews? You know how many times I’ve been burned? Add up at MINIMUM, once a month, since 2008. And then give me the math. And I would assume by burned, you refer to instances where you’ve spent money (a deposit) and they didn’t show. In our case, it would be spending money on a hotel, or ad (remember, it’s free to contact us, but it’s not free to advertise to you), or even planned whole trips pre-paid in advance (e.g. the great 2009 Boston flop where everyone cancelled or no showed, except for 1 forum member, and then a couple guys from Craigslist later in the trip). And the great 2010 Indianapolis trip where 100% of clients cancelled, except for 1 last minute. Obviously those are older examples, and it’s uncommon for that to happen nowadays (back then I was in my 20s, now I’m in my early 30s, so have a bit better process). BUT, it still happens atleast once or twice during a trip. The only difference is I generally can recover the loss, provided there’s other clients booking. But that doesn’t always happen. Or it doesn’t happen in the timeframe that it needs to. Which is why I push cancel fees. And mind you, the once a month is at minimum. Multiply by 2 or 3, and see why it’s irrelevant that you’ve gotten burned “once”. We’ve already heard of clients here give examples of escorts who had traveled to cities and said they only had 1 client. Do you think only 1 person contacted them?

I’ll conveniently quote you both, since it seems like that’s what y’all 2 are wanting. In the situation that @leftbench23 mentioned, yes...that’s clearly uncalled for. I would have left after 5 minutes, if I had arrived someplace and a client didn’t respond at all til 6:22. I was only asking to get more information, and not immediately condemn the situation. But I’ve said before; not everyone on RentMen is “real” to begin with, and I can even see how the behavior of other escorts, can negatively affect how clients view their next encounter. BUT: as it pertains to cancels and deposits, and wasting time: we’re talking 2 different things. There’s a difference between what left bench mentioned, versus “incessantly” answering calls and texts from people who aren’t serious round the clock, and having nothing to show after 7 days into paying $100 for ads.

That’s a good perspective you make. And I can see why it’s important to not wait for one contact, especially if you’re limited on time. However, I don’t think your strategy should be contact multiple providers in one sitting (not saying you’re doing that, but assume that’s what you mean). For example: rather than contacting 5 escorts in 5 minutes, you could perhaps contact 1 at a time, and if you don’t hear back within a certain parameter of time (say, an hour or 2 if it’s for same day visit...), then reach out to others. However, this is also why I have been suggesting people to schedule me with 24 hours notice. I don’t like to be in constant fear that if I don’t clutch my phone round the clock, I could miss an appointment. I like to set the stage that, it “COULD” be 24 hours before I respond as well, but it takes out the idea that I’m competing with other guys for who responds first...

Explain further: Was there actually a delay verbatim as you say, or did said escort say he needed more time to get ready? Because there is a difference. If the appointment was at 6 and he didn’t respond until 6:22, then yeah...something is off. But if he said he needed more time to get situated, and you left anyway...that’s not the best move. I feel like many people (not you) are impatient and just need to find the will to wait. I see it all the time at stores. If a person has to wait or feel like they’re being ignored, they just fucking walk off and leave. People act like they’re afraid to chase or run people down anymore. It’s not necessarily being a doormat, but sometimes people like escorts in service industries are trying to do a million things at once, and shit happens. However, as it pertains to your situation...I know 15 minutes seemed like a long time, especially when someone new...but if was simply a case of him needing more time to get ready, I think it wouldn’t of hurt to stick around.

The fallen Men4Rentnow.com had previously had a section where escorts could rate clients and search numbers/emails. A few times there were some beneficial warnings, other times it helped to ensure the client was legit when a good one was made. Some clients even asked ME to review THEM lol. They wanted good reviews. Sadly, M4RN fell to the pandemic of SESTA/FOSTA...but I have wrote to Rentmen and company about doing the same. They’re kinda dragging their feet on the idea, but I don’t see any harm in doing so. In fact, I think well to do clients could benefit from escorts giving them good feedback, and dissuade the messers from having an endless bounty of providers to waste time. As is the case for Rentmen messenger, which is why I won’t engage in chat, and have it always set on auto reply.

Oh really??? Ha. Businesses have been fucking people over for far more than an escort posting a client’s number on a niche online bulletin board. This whole fucking country revolves around your credit score, and how a person pays their bills and creditors. I’m only learning from what the corporate world has done to us for so long... https://www.experian.com/ https://equifax.com/ http://transunion.com/ I’ve had a couple guys pull that on me. They don’t seem to understand that: A) If they “sue”, they will essentially be a plaintiff. Which means going to trial, with us to testify. B) if they “press charges”, they will still be listed in the report as well. Whenever they pull that on me, I’m like: have your attorney call me. Matter of fact, what’s your attorney’s number, I’ll call them! Just don’t forget I have the texts showing you contacted me first lol. But at this point, I put an end to the mayhem. Over the past several weeks, I’ve only had 1 idiot mess me over, and only because I bought into his “I don’t do deposits because I been burned before” craft. I don’t meet anyone without a deposit anymore. It’s nothing about not trusting people, it’s just about making sure I’m not spending my money and time, before I get paid for my time. Nothing personal. Even my married discrete clients seem to have no issue doing so. They have separate accounts. I used to make exceptions, but when even former regular clients leave you high and dry, it’s become so standard for me, that I don’t even think twice. And lately all my coordinating of appointments have been much better and less on edge about the probability of it taking place.

Exactly, not to mention the latest trends seem to be people booking 9 minutes in advance lol. Hence why slowing down on same day appointments. It used to be guys booked 2 weeks in advance. Sometimes even 2 months. Not so much.

True or not true...I don’t think it belongs in an ad. HIV status has its part and reasons for being a staple in many advertising venues, but not when it comes to COVID. Not to mention, if HIV antibodies=HIV positive and transmittable, that hypothetically could put COVID antibodies in the same category.

Good word. But sometimes, when you’re new...these mistakes are just part of learning the biz And becoming smarter. I know lots of guys, myself included who have gone on these trips expecting something more than what was possible. Like some of my early trips to Chicago and Houston, thinking seeing lots of big dicked muscle black escorts meant that I would do really good as well...because if they’re doing good, I could hypothesize that I would do good too. NOT. But then it took awhile to realize: if there’s “no” clients booked and confirm (even 1 is okay, I’ve gone to many places with only 1 client booked and it was still worth the trip), don’t go. So when it comes to working in another country, I would need to have something extracurricular going on plus extra funds in the event something didn’t go accordingly. Because it would seem hard pressed to plan, in the way I want to... when I have to book a flight and accommodations weeks or months in advance.

I’ve seen that, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a great idea. It’s our right to have privacy for medical records. Obviously it’s different than disclosing HIV status, but I don’t think it should be used as a selling point. People are still traveling. I’m hoping to not take any hit, but just gotta chug as usual. Holidays can be hit or miss. My plan is to catch what I can the days leading up to each holiday, but I think I may be turning my phone off from thanksgiving eve thru the Sunday after. Last year in Denver wasn’t great even without a pandemic. And it bears repeating: some cities are going to be more lacking than others. I know for me: Saint Louis and Kansas City have pretty much fell off. Lately it’s just been regulars and the occasional guy from outside of the city. I plan to get thru the holidays by traveling as much as possible, because staying local doesn’t seem productive. Just on the day of the holiday, plan on staying with a friend or relative.

I came across an escort who sounds like that in Kansas City. But I wasn’t convinced that he was offering payment. It was more like, come and fuck him raw... with no real purpose. Then he was like extra bossy with it at that. Ushering me to come at his command. I finally told him, dude go ? yourself I had to tell one of my little bottom fuck buddys today: I’m not the one to be bossed around. Better fix that quick, because that’s the quickest way to turn me off ???

...but of course one need not wait that long to get some decent spunk ? In other news: I recently “hired” another “provider” for a 3 way session with a client/friend of mine. However, this was done differently: we had met 1 on 1 previously without payment exchange (and it was ? lol. But we had suggested to one another the possibility of doing a 4 hands massage if a client was interested. I didn’t actually pay him, but my date was open to the idea. So I was more of the “realtor” in the situation. Even though the whole thing was my idea from the start lol. I had just suggested to my friend that we add in someone else to spice up our regular encounters, which I admitted...were becoming boring. Not because the sex was boring, or that routine sex is boring...but the “freak” factor just wasn’t there. It turned out to be a hot scene and we all got along, and I think the guy might of even found himself a new “massage“ client...but I’m not intimidated because our connection has been solid enough, but for me...it seems the 1 on 1 encounters with my regular have run their course, for now at least. So I’m willing to be a team player. That’s why I was telling @keroscenefire, other escorts shouldn’t shy away from being proactive when it comes down to sharing or doing gigs with other providers/clients. If we all just worked together, it could help open doors in other ways. Of course, that’s fantasy but if 2 guys can click, and a client is open to experience both, why not.

Some of my clients who have college aged kids come to mind...One just dropped $20 Gs on rides for both. Even $500 for half an hour with a provider, is cheap in comparison lol. That's why I'm just like...ain't no time to be selling myself short. Some of these guys are making enough to raise 2 kids on their own, and they're single. I'm not charging nothing less than what I need to cover my overheads and expenses for the week.

I still don't understand Instagram lol. I mean I'm on it and have followers on it, but it's so generic that I've found myself toying between entertaining friends, potential fuck buds, all while having a client here and there mentioning their existence on it. All the while, trying not to show any nudity lol. Twitter is more raw and uncut, and I seem to attract more hits from it than Instagram. I must add that in person advertising still goes a long way. I can't count how many guys (and women) chat me up in public as if they want something lol. I have sense to know not every interaction has a sexual connotation, but in a gay environment... I've more than once turned it into a client situation. But it's rare. Like once every 2 years. I also carry biz cards that are quite oblivious, in the event the internet comes crashing down on sex work (I trust Kamala, but I don't trust Kamala lol). There's also grindr and scruff sites, but with my lower level of tolerance for nonsense, I haven't posted on those in months. Then there's Adam 4 Adam, which I'm just barely hanging onto to that. At $30 it's the cheapest site in theory, but one has to have a good filter and high tolerance dealing on there.

that is true, but seems like majority of it comes from same day bookings. But like I say, I think I’ll keep same day bookings for now, but they’ll absolutely have to still pay a deposit. Even if they’re a mile away and I just happen to be available. Because even those ones have proven to be flakes. I hate to be cliche and bring Covid into the mix, because everyone wants to blame it on everything...but it’s seeming that it certainly is adding to the Flake factor, however that’s been the case ever since Craigslist and backpage shut down. The issue is 2-fold: Covid boredom and former Craigslist lurkers. Hence why every legit sex worker would be doing all of us a favor, to be charging deposits now. Because most of the serious guys seem to send it with no reluctance, whereas the bullshit mother fuckers seem to always have an excuse. Which I won’t be falling for again ✋?