JB_Studio38

I think this is a big part of the issue here. There needs to be a big shift away from fearing to meet another man for sex over concerns of it being a cop. Hopefully police reform will help curb some of these issues. That’s true, but I feel some of it is also just habitual dick behavior that guys pull. Case in point: a problem client who I’ve blocked and sent away multiple times over the years, because he would flake every other booking, will every so often end up in my inbox. Just yesterday he did again. Because I was very nearby to him, I figured I’d give him another chance to prove himself, he goes thru the whole process, even arranging a time... and no shows. Which I figured he would, which is why I accepted a non business date about an hour after the time we had set to meet. Another client last week reached out to book last Friday. Claims “a friend” gave him my info. But he could’nt meet because work issues. Says he’ll book Saturday. Again, work issues and can’t. He asks how long I’m in town. Asked about Sunday... at that point I said contact me, but I had already decided to go out of town. Sure enough, didn’t contact. I’m just getting real fed up with everything right about now. Part of the problem seems to be there is too many escorts starting out here currently. One escort I met was like, “we’re not competition, they call all of us and they all play games”. It’s almost like he’s essentially saying clients don’t have any discernment, and that I didn’t agree with. I don’t want a client who’s “calling everybody”. But if I can’t get the chance to be a limited commodity, then that’s probably what ends up happening. That can be fixed by changing cities, and I’m pretty much ready to cut ties with certain cities because of that. I think my next step going forward may be to take my number down, require clients to instead give me their number thru IM or email. That way it could be more like, I’ll contact YOU, once I can verify you’re serious. Idk.

ugh, tell me about it. hookup sites are a whole other animal of course. but you’d think as paying members of these sites we advertise on, there would be a little less in the way of faff occurring. Yet I feel I’m wasting just as much time as I would be just doing it for free, and that’s a problem. And I’m sure someone will be like, “well in other businesses...” this is not other businesses. This is advertising on RentMen and Rentmasseur and sometimes A4A (which has surprisingly become less of a time waster site than the other 2). It used to be Adam4Adam was the biggest time waste site, but I’ve easily mitigated that because I just send out auto replies with my number and if they don’t reach out, I don’t bother. With the other sites, people have our number (or IM) to their advantage, so most of the screening out has to be done from my own phone. And it’s just hours and hours wasted each week. Sometimes with not a whole lot to show from it. Just over the weekend I had a “bucket” of inquiries in one of my rotational cities, but only 1 really showed up. I seen how 1 guy I met took calls: he would deal with time wasting clients round the clock (often even the Grindr types) and seem total unphased. But he also didn’t seem to really care about the clients or his presentation (and was usually pretty drugged out). And I’m like, that’s not me. Some guys see clients as numbers, some clients see us as just a phone number. That does not help to build any sort of rapport.

I try to keep a level head when it comes down to it, but some days (or weeks) I just really feel like it makes no damn sense. I can go thru my phone on texts and just see so many responses that just have gone nowhere. Either they just flat out stop responding, or don’t reply to a request to confirm a time, or when trying to arrange something they can’t make it happen outside of the immediate time they want to do it. Or they contact me booking a session, when they clearly are in a position to not be able to (at work, etc etc reason) After a daily dosing of this type of communication, I just end up fatigued of the whole thing because then I start to feel like I’m in a rat race. So I been using the freeze mode of my ad fairly regularly...simply because it’s like a week of break seems a good idea considering the amount of time wasted, adds up to a lot of time that could be expended toward other things. And today I feel like freezing my ad again ??‍♂️

Well I know but...all it takes is 1 bad apple (*coughs” cop) from east of the Cascades, to come into the city and mess everything up. (thankyou, I could not remember the name of the range yesterday! Sierras was stuck in my head). And even though it is 30% of the population, it’s more than half of the state. But I won’t rag on Washington too much, I really don’t know the state too well. I only had a 2 day experience there years ago, when I was stuck in Yakima unintentionally. And a very rude Greyhound driver in Seattle on my way to Boise ? Btw what’s wrong with Spokane?? It does seem like it’s a little “too” popular on episodes of cops and livePD.

That sounds tragic, but anything that is an offer of high rate and a whole week... is just gleaming scam. Not sure if he was new or just convinced Though I must say, the misfortune did sound like a hot fantasy. Wonder if he was being filmed in the process. For all the comparison to Las Vegas, I can understand why. I don’t even like to tour in Vegas without a confirmed client arrangement. I went last month, arrived at 10 p.m. and was out of there by 3 am. It was just a Friday night stop on the way elsewhere lol. But I’d imagine Miami is probably the closest “Dubai of America” just off top of my head. Except for rich Saudis, it’s rich South Americans. Suspicions confirmed ? https://medium.com/@mikebarrytravel/miami-is-dubai-with-cubans-9ab9955196e2

By the way, whom is exactly a Royal as it compares to an American guy? A Politician, Celebrity, or Business tycoon?

Well just to be clear: I was just quoting what a client there told me back around 2011. And I was referring to the surrounding Washington area East of the range. I know Seattle and Portland are considered major liberal players in politics. However, liberal doesn’t mean much in the big scheme of things when it comes down to it. People say downtown Kansas City is “liberal”, people say Denver is liberal, people say Austin Texas is liberal. But liberal may only go so far as a person not attending church every Sunday. And many “liberal” cities are often nestled in conservative states. I mean, haven’t we learned much from Minneapolis? Minnesota is 1 of the whitest White states there are, yet Minneapolis is more of a diverse nature, that can’t seem to avoid being in the headlines for how “liberal” they actually are ??‍♂️ In all these so called liberal cities, there’s pockets of intolerance. Case in point: **Pardon me in advance if this borders on “political” discussion.

That’s a good strategy! Thanks for sharing. Especially considering missed clients can be open to book on a future visit. When I mentioned the drying up effect, I was more referring to cities being visited over an extended period of time: 3-4, even 5 years. And that may not even be due to anything within my control, but just the dynamics that change cities sometimes. Like I mentioned: Salt Lake City used to be a hit maker for me back in the day, but I’ve noticed more and more escorts going out there, and it’s also taken on a more “vagrant” vibe in the downtown areas. On my most recent trip out, I only had 1 client show up. The rest flaked. I was disappointed, but not exactly surprised. I had been going there for years previously and was noticing the steady trend. Guys like @VictorPowers might have better insight. But of course it just varies. I think had I stayed for a few more days or even a week, I’d of picked up more. But I was already annoyed, frustrated, and booked a client in another state... so that opportunity wasn’t in the cards.

Wow. This makes me want to start planning that I'm "available" to come out ?. I would love to visit the tallest building in the world... Did you find English was a predominant 2nd language there? Curious to know, were there any mention of whether these escorts were getting more tops or bottoms as clients? Seems closest to get is to be in cities that cater a big international diversity. Only difference like Ben said, it's hard to get that same level of "exotic" factor in the US because all the big cities already have every flavor of escort a client could want. Not to mention some of the royal Arabs probably won't touch America due to the political issues.

I'd be curious to know all these myself. I don't have plans to go to Dubai, but it seems like a place where someone could pull major numbers ? However, in America: I don't recall ever having a Saudi Arabian (or United Arab Emirates) client. I can't vouch that it would even be safe to escort there, and be gay...so wouldn't have a clue. Regardless, it's intriguing to think about. I have met guys before from Egypt, Morocco, Algeria, and India for sure. I know each is unique, but for the most part the strict rule of Islam and Muslim are heavy in those regions. However, that could be an advantage if the closeted guys perhaps seek out some forbidden fruit from time to time. Here's an interesting read: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.haaretz.com/amp/middle-east-news/.premium.MAGAZINE-what-happened-when-four-gays-from-tel-aviv-took-a-vacation-to-dubai-1.9407317

Yeah, I've even been hesitant of changing my stored card info...mainly just for convenience purposes. But hopefully the bitcoin thing doesn't become standard. I was getting into that a lot with backpage back in the day.

Would be interesting to get a reply regarding this, but I know years ago I went out to Seattle. It wasn’t exactly brimming with biz at the time, but I’ve posted there and seem to get hits. I was considering to go last month, but I favored a warmer destination instead. That said, it wouldn’t surprise me. One of my Seattle clients did tell me at the time, that people can be a bit uptight. He said Vancouver is a bit more liberal. I know in my experience riding thru Washington state, it’s gets a bit conservative there too once you get outside of the metropolitan. Though I have been curious to check out Spokane in Washington. Then again, it seems a lot of cities could be like that. I know Chicago and Atlanta feels like a “regulars only” town. Like you just have to be there all the time, to make it happen. And if you’re traveling thru, you’re just one of the many traveling thru. But I personally wouldn’t feel compelled to move to a city that I can’t do good visiting in, because who knows how long it could take to build a regular base. I think you summed it up very well: there is no best city. Just have to find the one that works best for what you’re offering. That should be good news, considering it could mean that one doesn’t have to spend a bunch of money trying to compete in major markets, they can likely make something happen near or where they are. I know in my case, I’ve pretty much just resolved to traveling. It’s my fantasy that I could own a private plane and just fly all over. Some cities (especially small to medium sized) end up drying up after a period of time, and unless you have an alternate gig in town tiding you over...a trip is a must. I go back and forth to 1 city currently. My phone will be blowing up when I post in advance, but after about a week or 2 of being there it starts to mellow out. After about 3 weeks, I usually ready to move on again because it’ll be bone dry.

Well I’ll just say this: if I were a client, I would feel safer having an escort come to me. In fact, my hookups usually go that way. Reason being: I have wasted time once in awhile going to meet guys at their place, and they pull the dreaded, “I don’t feel comfortable” excuse. I know that’s not a discretion standpoint, but I’m much less likely inclined to go visit guys than I am to have them come to me. Not to mention, I can handle the annoyance of someone not showing up, better than I can of going on a blank trip. And some guys out here just be having guys come over to waste their time. The only time I travel (go to their place) for hookups is for clients. I don’t trust the vast majority of guys out here to be who and where they say they’ll be, especially having been played a few times before. I even had to cancel a hookup tonight with a guy I met before: he said, “I’ll sneak you thru my window, because of my roommate.” Young college kid but still. I’m like, bruh: I am 33 years too old to be sneaking in anywhere. There’s too much going on in the news, I don’t even want to chance it. Either introduce me or we can meet at a hotel or air bnb like the 1st time. It’s silly how many guys out here who do host, have to seemingly “sneak” someone in. I tell them everytime, I won’t feel right doing it... I’m 33, not 13.

that was very nice of you to do! I recall a similar instance: I was in Phoenix the other month and was upgraded to a nice spacious, two room suite with a view downtown. I really wanted to host, but all my bookings were outcalls! Nobody showed up to my room the whole 2 days I was there. I was like, oh the irony. The days I’m hosting, I end up with outcalls. The days I am not hosting, they want to come to me ?

Yeah that’s definitely a good point here. Sometimes you just have to go to a city over and over again, in order to build a rapport. Sometimes just going to a city 1 time and staying for a couple or few days just doesn’t cut it. However, it’s also true that after awhile... sometimes a person can “burn” thru a city to a point where each visit can become substantially less profitable. Or sometimes that regular anchor client is no longer available... and then you realize without that person, it’s actually not worth the trip. I’ve had that happen with a few cities: places like Boise, Idaho and Salt Lake City were good for a couple of years, then it dried up and never rebounded. Even Minneapolis used to be a hit maker for me, but after a couple of years it too started drying up. I’ve attempted to go recently, but the level of unrest in recent months has me stalled. I have found though that taking 2-3 year breaks from a city gives a chance for the pond the “replenish”. The town I’m in is so dead and dry: I haven’t had a “new” client in almost a month now, and even he has contacted me previously. There’s also some cities that I just rather not compete with. Dallas Texas is one of them. The potential is there, but on previous trips I get 1 client out of a banquet inquiries. When I do go, I make sure it’s not for the sole purpose of finding clients.

Well recall I did make a post about an attempted 3 way session, where the other escort wasn’t wanting to do the service that the client wanted after being lowballed... the bowing out by the client certainly wasn’t graceful. I’m more than willing to accommodate clients for incalls. But the issue also tends to be, “oh I can’t meet at that time, I have (insert various excuse as to why they can’t meet at the time I suggest). So it’s like, not only can they not host, but they want someone to host at the times it’s convenient for them. That said, I don’t negate the benefit of having ones own incall place. I actually used be brainwashed that having a car was more important than having your own place. But nowadays, it seems you increase your chances of hooking up if you have your own place... even if you don’t have a personal vehicle. Because many guys can’t host, even open and out gay men. I even know some guys who live alone, and purposely don’t “host” because their living quarters aren’t fit for 2 men to meet and have sex. Whenever I’ve had my own place, I always designed it with an extra person in mind, just in case ?

I can understand that 100%. Especially in places like DC or other metro areas where outcalls would be a production of sorts. However, there been times I've gone to DC and EVERYONE the entire trip wanted me to come to them. Which was fine because, I could stay at a friend's hotel while his company was paying for a convention, or stay in a run of mill hotel in Maryland or Virginia that I would be a little embarrassed to host in lol.

A previous post in another thread, got me thinking of this. It seems to be an age old dilemma, but I’m just curious. It seems like the days of cruising parks and beaches for sex were for the purpose of finding someone, but not so much as because one or both parties couldn’t host. In this biz, it seems like more and more clients are wanting me to host. Idk if that’s due in part to my current market, but it seemed like back in 2008-2009ish, it was much easier to just offer outcalls and still be able to make a decent earning. Most were at hotels, while a few were at their places. However, I find nowadays the majority of my bookings (mainly seeming to be the middle America cities) want me to host. Which is no harm no foul. I like my ambience and set up. But the issue comes because there are weeks/weekends, where I’ll want to spend a week or 2 with friends or family in their hometowns. I even alternate living arrangements currently between 2 cities. One of which, makes it difficult to host because it’s so far outside of the city. When I host it has to be carefully planned: advance notice and deposit usually. And majority of the guys contacting can’t seem to manage doing that, for the world. And it is very frustrating. I usually end up missing appointments all week long until someone can either host or book with more than 10 minutes notice. My thing is: why does this even need to be an issue? I would think if a client is looking to have some fun time with a particular provider, and can’t host from his home: He would go to the nearest hotel and spend $60-80 on a place to host (assuming it’s not New York or Seattle hotel rates). But even then. I don’t understand the increasingly expectation that the escort can host. I understand there’s likely a plethora of valid reasons that a client can’t host...but again, the options for hotels are there. Usually when I end up hosting in my home town, I end up with just 1 client that day. So if I’m already spending on a room, that’s a big chunk out of my donation. A 250 session can be more like earning 150. And any less than that, it only leaves 100 or less. Not worth it. So sometimes I’ll just say I can’t host or won’t host unless they book a full service or 2 hour visit. It makes it even worse when a client says, “well don’t get a room just for me”. But then they can’t host either. It just boggles me at times. If it mattered that much, they should be willing to furnish the accommodations. I know of a guy who would have me drive to his town outside of the city, he would get the hotel for me or pay me on top of my donation. Then he’d leave and let me keep it. Not the expected scenario, but certainly an ideal one. Adversely, many seem to essentially dismiss an escort who doesn’t host.

The Covid vaccination selling point is just about as safe as the “I’m on prep” selling point. All free and clear until you get the dreaded text/call: “I tested positive for...(any of the numerous stds that is NOT hiv)

Good points. And just a follow up I posted in another thread about "don't waste my time" that someone posted. A "client" who sent me a couple of pics of himself including one of a hard one (and upon further inspection, looks like they could have been 10 years old for all I know). Turned out to be a complete fraud. I played along with his game for a little while, but when I told him I'm parting ways because he #1 hadn't called or answered my calls from his number which seemed odd, he kept wanting me to call his hotel room #2 never cash apped me to confirm the session, and #3 didn't follow up to our supposed appointment yesterday. He got angry and came with a long alibi about this, that and the 3rd. Followed by "fuck you". I didn't even bother. There's some sick mother fuckers out here that live for nothing more than to give illusions. That's exactly why I signed back up for a site that verifies phone numbers. Majority of the time if that number pulls up empty info, it's a phony on the other end. Unless they have a good explanation of why they are using a burner number to schedule me.

definitely facts. And at the end of the day, one can’t always tell how much a client is “worth” beyond what they choose to pay us. I know a guy who drove an old (not antique, but old) Pontiac around in his “vacation” city. He upgraded to a regular Honda car. But one day, he invited me to his home up north. He has a Lincoln SUV, a Cadillac convertible, and a pickup truck. Sitting on acres of land in a McMansion. He originally told me he has a mediocre job, like a chiropractor. But later revealed he owned a medical practice. I guess he trusted me at that point to not go haywire, but our 1st meet was at a Ritz Carlton mountain resort, so that was a dead giveaway lol. But just goes to show. People will only let known what they want to be known, so it’s pointless trying to do a “sliding scale” of rates. But if an escort is true to themselves and know their worth, they can get their rates regardless if the client shows up in a Pinto or a Bugatti

? that’s why I even put it my ad that I do not host when I’m in a certain area. But....I’ve still had 2 people yesterday want to come to me, because they wanted me to host. I’m not bothered though because I already stated it in my ad. I understand in many cities, clients can’t host. And that’s okay because not everybody can create the proper ambience I desire for a session. My appointments are like a performance. I have music, candles, maybe some porn, wine, I welcome in with a sexy outfit or just a towel. I want guys to get their money’s worth and know that every appointment is a unique production. But I don’t want to get caught into the rat race of having clients who just want to “come over” at the last minute with no real planning. The other day, I was out of town and gave a client my hotel and room number (something I don’t normally do but he claimed to have been Ubering over). He never showed up. That said, your reference to trade shows and how a “tire kicker” could become a potential client makes sense. However, as I’ve said earlier: it’s not the same. I don’t think people go to trade shows with the intent to waste another’s time. But when a client from RentMen is scheduled to show at a particular time, and doesn’t. Or strings a provider along for several hours or days, that’s not cool. I wouldn’t compare our biz to trade shows and other high turnover type of gigs. I would more relate it to hotels, airlines and wedding planners who more of a stringent guideline to appointments: because with this type of bookings: a canceled visit cheats another person out of an opportunity to book. Or, there’s upfront costs and work involved to ensure appointment can be made. If you don’t show up, you get charged. If you wouldn’t book a hotel and no show, wouldn’t book a flight and no show, or bail on a wedding planner who requires deposits, those people shouldn’t do it with a RentMan advertiser either.

This doesn’t sound like a porn, this sounds like 2 people were misguided on what the other wanted...and it just ended up as a shit show. One thing I have noticed that clients need to stop doing: is walking out of a session. I’ve seen this twice last week. One I was able to keep it going and it ended well because I was the only person, and it was more of a case of the client being a little nervous and not communicating. However, one ended bad because the client wanted more than the other escort in a 3 way was willing to do. But it was the client who ended things, so he technically forfeited his session. I was trying to tell him to just stick around and let things continue because I was going to make sure he got what he wanted... but he had already made up his mind that he was done. And I don’t blame him because the other escort had did him wrong, and the setup of the massage was horrible, no ambience, and rushed. That said in your particular case, I think the communication could have been better (care to massage me longer, please?) and you should have not made a fuss and left. But also, look at the facts: He’s a foreigner, y’all haven’t met in 4 years, and I’m not sure what you refer to as “handler”, but sounds like a Pimp. It’s just not a good situation. I won’t say you’re wrong because clearly the other guy had an intent to get you in and then out, but it could have been handled better. I do most all of my rubs on a bed, but I never get any complaints. But not every bed massage is the same. I have no desire to travel from City to city, hotel to hotel with a massage table. If a client wishes to have a massage table massage, they are welcome to provide one and I’ll go to their place. But if someone has an issue with a bed massage, then I wouldn’t want them to come with a chip right off the bat.

But you also have to understand what kind of era we are living in right now. Before we call out the guys who say, “don’t waste my time”, let’s try to understand what is currently happening and why this might be the case: 1. Rates haven’t been allowed in ads since Trump’s Sesta/Fosta Bill circa 2016. 2. Grindr and other apps that foster conveyor belt style sex has become the norm 3. Likes ?? is how people get to express they are attracted to someone. 4. The word “escort” has been removed from just about every site in America. 5. There’s no guidelines from websites like there were back in early 2000s about how to be a reputable escort. If someone browses hard enough, they may come across blogs like @David-SF who has volunteered to share their experiences. 6. There’s not much of any in the way of resources for clients to arrange visits with providers. 7. Many guys don’t take the business seriously, or see it for the purpose of making money. Not for the purpose of freedom or having a genuine liking for what sex work is truly about. 8. it’s 2021 and prostitution still has not been declared legal and decriminalized in all 50 states. I’m sure there are more reasoning to back it, but when you add it all up: it makes sense that this isn’t simply like “other small businesses” like someone said. We are living in oppression. Nothing is being geared in our favor right now. There’s no direction. Everyone is left to their own devices. On the bright side, it’s still possible to be successful and do good in the biz. And you don’t have to come off aggressive or off putting. I mean, I struggled with that myself. Sometimes still do. But not as much. I have ways of doing things that are very automated and kind of avoid too much of the riff raff, but some still slide. But let’s not pretend like some people out there don’t like to waste sex worker’s time as a hobby. They’re always browsing the sites, always looking for the next one to pop up, and bullshit them. That’s facts. But escorts should make sure a timewasting client does not continuously get to waste their or other’s time. I have one right now who’s been on my line for the past couple weeks or so. Apparently there was supposed to be an appointment tonight. No word. After this, all I’m going to do is send him my cancellation/rebook fee request...then nothing else. If and when I see the funds in my account, then I’ll talk. But after today, he’s cut.

Now I’m curious what this porn scene is, exactly ? Now: to be serious, I wouldn’t necessarily want to be “hired” specifically to recreate a porn scene. However, I am open to “simulate” a porn scene...and I would even want to be watching in the process. I know some clients (on the board) have objected to an escort watching porn during a session, but my new thing as of lately has been to pretty much always have a porn going on the big screen, even when I travel. It’s not that I need it or divert attention off the client, but it’s just good visual to have. Watching porn, getting turned on, see a move being done...might make one or the other want to try it. I’ve even done a couple “gangbangs”, and honestly I have to thank porn sometimes because, I believe porn fuels guy’s desires. I’ve had guys get turned on by a White girl sucking a BBC on porn, and they call me. He may not even be “gay”, but they want to be the girl on the other end of the dick. So I understand, a fantasy is a fantasy whether it’s from a porn or just thought of.