JB_Studio38

Good word, and it’s exactly how I feel. Ditto with deposits, which I’ve been increasingly adamant about doing. I did take 2 same day appointments this week, but both had to send deposits to confirm. I try to do that mainly for hosting because people are more likely to no show, than to not be there when I show. But then today, someone didn’t want to pay a deposit claiming to have gotten “burned” a “few times before (in which I replied, I have a few times too) and this was for a same day appointment with him hosting. So, I was open to not do so. Sure enough, the person quasi-flakes. Then responds back over 4 hours later after I said I’ll consider the appointment for tonight confirmed without a deposit this time, with some lame excuse. And I had specifically asked the person a pertinent question about the scheduling, which he didn’t seem to have an issue. So based on what you said, I now feel even more pressed to operate “how I choose to”, and that’s going to be no more appointments without a deposit, regardless if they are hosting or not, same day or not. It’s the type of s**t that I don’t want to be bothered with ??‍♂️ Next time someone says they don’t want to do a deposit because they’ve been burned before, I’m just going to say, “Well I can’t schedule you”. Because they already come to the table on the defensive, and if they can’t trust me, why the F should I trust them ??‍♂️ The issue is, it’s going to be a little hard to fill that void of readily taking appointments on the spot. But with the way people are acting, just about every client who doesn’t send a deposit: ends up not showing up in some way or another. That’s just how it’s been lately.

And that's understandable. I've had many great connections come out of same day appointments. Some days I can accommodate them, but others I can't. But then I find it creates this pattern where once I take someone last minute on the day of, they come to expect that the next time, and the time after that. Then I start feeling like A. They don't consider I have a life and B. I have to always be available when they want it, versus when i can accommodate it. Which may only be 2 hours after they contact me, but then some will say, "oh that's going to be too late." I've already had to turn down 2 appointment requests over the weekend for same day. One was in a town I have just left the day prior, the other wanted to meet with like 40 minutes notice. The exception is: if we have met a couple times or so and built a rapport where we just know one another, then sure... hit me up if you happen in the neighborhood and feel the itch. But many times it's new clients who are wanting short notice, same day appointments...and then not following thru with it. And the funny thing is: those same people are never available on short notice themselves...but expect us to be. And I know because I've reached out to many a client to remind I'm in town or have availability. Very rarely are they in the position to meet when I need it lol. But like I say, I'll still take same day appointments when traveling...but when home likely not. I have to figure out a way to finesse it evenly.

True story: I had to retrieve a porn collection from someone who passed couple years ago. It took like 6 months to salvage it, but considering the content was a mix of gay and straight and mostly all interracial, I not only had to go thru the sister, but her husband...who was intent on trashing it all. When I received the collection, I felt terrible they had to look thru all of it to be honest. I've been a sex worker for years and it was a lot even for me. (Though I was more of kid in candy store overwhelmed and they were probably more of kid at the dentist overwhelmed) Some went back as far as 1996 and early 2000s, on DVD. But the bulk were during the mid 2000s. Never watched the VHS ones since i don't have one. I ended up holding onto them, and now they make fun backdrops during sessions. It's almost educational how much porn has evolved, but equally sad how bad some gay porns were. Straight porns tended to have much better plot and directory. Many gay "studio" porns would just flip right to the action with no storyline. Not sure if that's just preferred or by default. I applaud those who are taking steps to "protect others" so to speak. But I don't think it should be a fear of having a desire for erotic content. It's not illegal and we're adults, and assume the actors are too. If any of us were to die, I can guarantee you'd not care about who's looking at your porn collection ?

Thanks for the wisdom. However, I should clarify: it’s not that I feel I’m dwelling on the possibility (by his grace of course). But I’m just saying, people talk so much about, “what are you going to do 50 years from now, are you still going to be sex working?? But fact is, there’s no guarantee of 50 years from now for any individual person. I think people (maybe particularly affluent Americans) seem obsessed with “the future”. Who would have thought 20 years ago, that the whole world would come to wear masks, and businesses of all types would be forced to make concessions? Did every valet guy working at the Ritz consider his future? Did every gay bar bartender consider their future? Can’t always predict the future. Even if we take it less heavy, my question is always: who is going to do what they are doing now, 10-20-30 years from now? And...so what if they do. When the time comes, they can choose to continue or stop. I think it only adds to the ambivalence for me, when there’s this outside pressure to “do something else”, versus brainstorming on what ways to improve what I’m already doing. Since this thread, I’ve gone ahead and did a selfie photo shoot (many of the pro photographers are on limited schedules), did a new JFF video, and decided not to take anymore same day appointments. It has helped take the edge off. But the suggestions here have gotten my creative juices flowing, and refreshed on things I already knew...but haven’t been motivated to do (namely due to the things mentioned in the 1st post)

I ask because I’m considering this approach, but mainly for local visits. When out of town, it’s easier to take on the spot visits...since my circumstances at home make it to where I can’t always host or travel without atleast a couple hours notice. But it seems more often that 2 hours is too long for many, so I’ve decided the only way to go about is just temporarily stop offering same day appointments. I’m finding this fast food mentality is especially prevalent on RentMasseur, I’m even considering getting rid of that as well. However, I’m also finding the flake factor for same day appointments seems to be the highest. So now it may be a permanent thing, even when traveling to just not do same day appointments. I’m finding even those who paid deposits, are flaking on same day visits, but it’s not as common as the ones who go mute when asked to do so. I’m just looking back at my logs over the last couple weeks, I’ve not had anyone keep a same day appointment request, except 1. Every serious person has been willing to plan a day or so ahead. And that’s local and travel. I generally don’t mind leaving myself open either throughout the day or later in the day for appointments. But I’m also getting tired of feeling like I have to choose between finishing a project or gym, or whatever the case may be, to take an appointment. Only for them to say, “sorry my son, etc came home“ (heard this more than once) Or “I got called into work” nonsense. I feel if someone can’t make a conscious effort to coordinate a day that’s not “today”, what are we doing? I just can’t keep living for the hope of “available now” and then being let down. At the same time, I know day of meets make up a good amount for many. I want to make it where if someone sees my ad, it won’t be “I’ll text him tomorrow/whenever and see if he’s free”, but more of; “I see your ad today, when can I get on YOUR schedule”.

Sending you a ?....

Text him again. Sometimes I’ll get messages that don’t get replied for whatever reason. My phone plays my favorite song anytime I get a text, so I dont miss messages. But sometimes I still do because I may switch it on silent before going into an appointment, or if I’m doing something and it’s going off back to back, and forget. I always feel a message with a name, website seen on, host or travel, city you’re in and maybe a brief describe (age/top/bum) helps. I know that can be a lot for someone texting a number that could be the wrong number, so I always include: Hi, this is Jarrod, for your 1st contact can you start by introducing yourself... That way they know they got the right person. 100%. And I’ll add: atleast respond! It grates my last nerve when someone will ask about meeting TODAY, then not reply back to coordinate. Then hit me up a month or 2 later and ask the same question, as if I didn’t see their message from 2 months ago where they didn’t reply to my last message ??‍♂️ Had someone do that yesterday. I called him out and said, I told you LAST MONTH that I needed advance notice and deposit. He said never mind, sorry back in September (dismissive). Then hits me up asking if I’m available today like nothing ever happened ??‍♂️

I hear what you’re saying, but have you ever heard the phrase tomorrow isn’t promised? I’m not saying disregard your advice or not be prepared for the future...but how many people have we known, young people...get all the career ducks in a row, and suddenly, tragically pass away? You’re talking about senior years...what’s the ratio of gay men who ACTUALLY make it to senior years? I mean, let’s just be real. I can tell you the truth: I’ve lost about 2 or 3 over the years. 2 of my closest best friends: GONE. Dead. Lives on the right track. 1 just became a flight attendant. Never even got to say goodbye. So I’m living for today, When it’s time it’s time, but by his grace I’m thankful for the time being. But since you’re concerned, I do have an exit strategy that I can go into if and when it’s time to make an exit. However, for right now this is what I’m doing. I get tired of people acting like escorting is the only type of business where someone can be “stuck”, but yet we’re supposed to just be able to stop, drop and roll anytime we have an issue or expect better from people. How many people do you know who are business owners, stuck in the business (and yes, maybe they’re successful financially) but struggling health wise because they’re so overwhelmed and stressed? But they can’t leave the business because their stake is in it, and it’s all they can do to support themselves? They can’t just stop, pack up, and “get a job”. I met a client couple months ago who owned a successful restaurant. Beautiful home, beautiful sports car...but he was so overweight that his tummy engulfed the steering wheel. He was admittedly conscious and proactive about his weight loss, but he said eating was his only way to de-stress over the years. He showed me an older picture, he was once a fitness model.

? I should have been more specific: it’s not that I don’t get along with “women” and “straight men”, it’s just in the “workplace” environment where I have had friction. Straight guys in the workplace tend to act all cool with me, until they find out I’m not married with kids or have a “girl”. I met a guy at the track like that over the summer. He was all cool, until he started noticing ?️‍? on my Instagram. Women in the workplace tend to be super cool too, but can turn at the drop of a dime. okay, if you’re going to be on my side: don’t say complain. Just because I discuss or make an observation about something, doesn’t mean it’s a complaint. But it is very true: Many, many times I’ll sit around with availability today on, and nobody contacts. Then, the moment I decide to get up and do something with my day, someone wants to meet right away. And then, when I take the opportunity to do it, they bail out; or say the time I can be ready by is going to be too late, or where I am is too far for them, etc, etc. I decided 1 way to to resolve this going forward...but I think I’m going to make a new thread of it instead. I was In my feelings when I did this post, but I so I’m kinda in a different mind frame now.

When was then? Have you seen what they are now? The pandemic has certainly created pockets of opportunity. I’ve seen hotels in Boston that were $200-$300 a night, going for $60-$80. Ditto in San Francisco. Hoping I can get to one of the power markets before the year is out. Or...before the vaccine comes out ? However, I’ve not seen any recent breaks on rental cars hardly anywhere. I have a card specifically for rental cars, but now it barely comes out because the prices have been so crazy, atleast in my region. May be different elsewhere.

I want to add another thing to this (I know, I’ve already said a lot). I feel like if I have to do that, then I might as well not put as much equity in the biz. I also don’t think it’ll work as well. Many clients seem to only be able to meet during certain times. I know because I deal with already as a full timer. I‘ll said to clients that I arrive to a city at a certain time, they’ll say it’s too late for them. Then they wait months to book again, only to pull the same “by chance can you meet short notice”. How would I be able to leave my job and do that? And late is usually anytime after 4 pm. I’d say daytime clients make up anywhere from 50-90% of my inquiries in many cities. The only night jobs are generally service industry based which I’m not into. Though I have considered a hotel job to get employee discounts. But thing is, when would I ever get enough days off to travel. These jobs don’t want employees gone more than 2 days at a time. Many guys like to (or need to) book around the afternoon hours. I used to also have a part time job, but I left because I was missing clients to go make a few bucks. Then, too many jobs have bossy women who get on my last nerves...and are toxic. My last 4 jobs over the years, all had female supervisors, and bitch would be an honorable word to use. I do not get along with many women (and straight men either b/c many seem so obsessed with another mans sexuality), and that’s another reason I have stayed away from many of the jobs I used to do.

thanks for the suggestion, but everything you mentioned I’m already doing (except that specific book you mentioned which sounds like a great read). I have Twitter, I have justforfans with 40 videos (for some reason I didn’t like the only fans platform layout, even though JFF takes a bigger cut). It should be on my signature as well, but it wont show if you’re using mobile. I like it because it has come in handy a few times: helped with ads or a essentials on a road trip. I also have glowing reviews as well. I have been in tune with the game for a long time. But what I’m saying is, one can have all that going, but what I mentioned in the start of this thread, is still the reality of the things at this point. I can try not to be confrontational, but there also needs to be an acknowledgement that there are a lot of people out here, who want to make things difficult for us no matter how well we try to carry things. And not all of us have the mental capacity to just brush things off and be nice. Just this week: A text I sent saying hello, hope you’re doing okay to a client of mine (now former, considering he said he’s going broke due to Covid and his IRA), had deteriorated with the last thing I seen, with him saying “fuck you” and some other stuff that I just had to tune out, because he kept texting me about offensive stuff...and I told him I wanted to end the conversation and be done with him. This guy was a problem regular of mine, who was fine in person...but would often come back around and have something to say about the last meeting. And then it’s other things, where I’ve reached out to previous clients to schedule, or they reach out to me, and they bail. Then I’m thinking like, well...you showing me you don’t really have an intent to maintain the arrangement, therefore you giving me permission to go ahead and cut ties. I’m really trying to stay away from confrontational situations, and it is getting old...as I told my former regular yesterday. But where do we draw the line between just letting people do us any kind of way, versus having a backbone and speaking up without it messing up the potential. Like the other day, I was out of town and I had a guy use up 30 minutes of my time making like he wanted a booking, when I could have been 30 minutes down the road. I try to get there early by being on the way to the address he gave me. He was close enough where it didn’t take long. But 5 blocks away, he texts me he can’t do it because his conference call was an hour earlier than I thought. I say sorry to hear that, but I took time out to respond to you, when I could have been on my way to my next destination. I told him needs to send my cancellation fee. He argues with me that he didn’t confirm and that he cancelled before he “confirmed”. I’m like, you already told me an address and asked me to come the sooner the better. In that case, me just saying “oh okay, no problem...thanks” just wasn’t what I was feeling. He coulda been a fucking man and just said, “hey I know you’re already nearby...I don’t have a lot of time but I’ll leave you with $50/$100 for 30 more minutes of your time”. But he didn’t. Sometimes I tell myself to make the best of the circumstance, and turn those guys into my Justforfans viewers...But I was finding many of those wouldn’t sign up for that either. So I’ve just more or less let them know they can’t book again without a reimbursement.

But who’s wealthy? I know many of our clients do well financially, but the average gay is just scrapping by and really only has enough for their bills and a little bit of play money. And usually getting by with credit. Since I’ve moved to the Midwest KC/St Louis market, I’ve noticed there’s the pockets of “money” here and there, either in the burbs or the inner city. But once you get outside the metros, and even within the metros: there’s no chance of making any kind of money. You have your uppity gays here and there, but they tend to keep the money to themselves and their cause. So to me, the US is poor in many ways, but it maintains this affluent vibe because it’s all about coming up and looking like you’re doing better than the next person. And it’s only people like Trump and sports players who get to reap the benefits of a filthy rich lifestyle. When I think of wealthy countries/regions, I think of Australia, Japan, Italy and France. Even China. Or places like Dubai and the Netherlands (home of RentMen).

The point of the story wasn’t about the figure of $750 being expensive or cheap. The point was: The same apartment is over 50% the cost it was, 10 years ago. Yes I know, $750 is cheap in most cities. But San Antonio was also one of those places where $100 was the expected rate, not the tip like in some upscale markets. Not to say San Antonio isn’t upscale either, but it’s generally low cost of living. Unless they did something in that neighborhood to spruce it up (my last apartment in Nashville went up $150 when Music City Mercedes dealership was built nearby)...that area of town for $495 wasn’t necessarily WEHO Nope, dead ass serious. My condo in Denver I rented with no credit or income checks. He just wanted to rent it. I had the money. I stayed for 5 years. I’m aware that’s far and few in between, but it’s possible. And like I said above, it’s not about whether $750 is reasonable or not, the point was it’s costing escorts MORE to rent a place to host, than it did even 5 years ago. I do believe COVID is going to cause these things to change in a couple of years, but it’s still where we are at (it’s usually a gradual change). With so many people dying, there should be less demand for living space, and more vacancies which should equate to lowering rents. And to add: that same 1 bedroom place in San Antonio for $755, I’ve seen a place going for a little less than that in the Midwest: 2 bedrooms, and a full deck. So what’s reasonable isn’t always “the best value” your can find. I knew guys in Denver paying $1,000 a month for a box. When I was paying $600 for a condo. But $1,000 was “reasonable” for Denver. $1,000 my ass, that’s too much for rent every month regardless of city! When I see what $1,200 can buy for a car maintenance that will last years and do much more, versus $1,200 for a recurring monthly expense in some dank apartment not including utilities, is expensive. People don’t understand the perception of an escort’s pay. People are used to having paychecks, and having bills automatically deducted. But when you’re working client by client, your perception of how much things cost becomes clearer. I have some “friends“ who live in a house, drive luxury/sport cars...but when I suggest they feed their dog canned food sometimes (and have even brought some out of my own escort money), it’s “he’s big and it will cost so much”. $10 a week for canned food is too much, but not a house and car note?

Well true, that’s what I’ve been doing more of the past couple years. Pressing on social media, fans sites, etc. One of my clients has a company that promotes his biz on Instagram and such as well. However, I’m still trying to navigate the waters. It seems like one really needs a porn backing to propel their social media presence. And that’s been the issue lately, trying to land with a studio from afar. I’ve since kind of toned down and just kind of let it go, after applying for a few studios and hearing nothing back, and just being on social media watching other porn stars promote, gets depressing after awhile. I don’t know if many porn guys have people promoting them, but I don’t really have time to do too much of it myself. Between travel, hobbies, and clients...I don’t have a lot of time to tweet and retweet round the clock like I see some guys do. Some days, I barely have time to come on here lol. But if I start a thread/conversation, I feel it’s only courteous to keep up with it. Sometimes I appreciate being able to just escort, just do nude photo shoots, and go about life...versus getting into the rat race of being a celebrity all the time. At this point, everybody has a just for fans, everybody is a RentMan, everybody and their mother is the next big porn Star. I literally see a new porn star on Twitter with 100,000+ followers everyday, who I never heard of. When I’m still sitting at a little over 1,000...what can I say. At this point, I can only depend on me and my clients to make ends meet, not “followers”. I know social media is a powerful tool and I want more followers, but I just can’t live for it. I have noticed my following has been going up, but it’s been gradual. May not be 100,000 but when I notice 3-4 followers a day, I’m not complaining ??‍♂️

I just want to add: I wonder if some of the things, which I have said before were happening long before Covid, have a greater effect. I was just looking at an apartment in San Antonio that I used to live in: $495 a month 10 years ago. Now, it’s $750. Nearly an extra $300 a month. For one, I’ve seen rents go up the f-ing ASS in 4 different cities. Nashville did it, Denver did it, and I’m seeing San Antonio and Dallas did it. Even though 1 or 2 clients can hypothetically cover the extra $300-$500 a month in rent, that’s not real life values. So how the hell, am I supposed to be able to “host” when properties going up, up, up on prices, just to rent. I got tired of wasting all my client’s blessings on rent, in one case over 30,000....and still couldn’t end up keeping the place. I’m like screw that. But now, I’m in a race to get back into my own place, because my living situation with others has been a nightmare from hell. Can’t host short notice, housemate always up my ass 24/7, people holding shit over my head, like I NEED them for a place to stay. I’ve never been the type to not have my own shit, and I always own my shit or buy it new. Yet I can’t even afford to get approved for apartments built in the 70s and 80s ??‍♂️ I want to see THAT on the Congress bill: Create incentives to build new places, by making it illegal to ask a renter for credit and income checks if the property is over 30 years old ? Why do I need to prove I can afford something that’s been paid for 500 times over the last 30-40 years ??‍♂️ That’s what I talk about, being forced to have a 2nd job, in order to be an escort. We may need to have an extra job, just to afford our incall location. Because everyone wants us to “host”. Which wasn’t the case for a good majority of my starting years, up until 2015-ish when things went cuckoo. And things have never gotten back to how it was. It’s been lagging ever since. It hasn’t gotten better, and RentMen/Mass is just a glorified bandaid. Idk if having a regular gig is how it always was, or how it’s just become. But It seems like unless you’re in a conducive market (which may not even exist in America considering the legal issues and fact it’s so many fake ads and competition), and/or the prototype that’s every gay man’s type, it seems harder to keep all the ? in a row.

Makes sense, good analysis. But like I say, I don’t recall feeling so bleak about the biz since the 2008-2010 recession. But at that time, I was young and thought escorting was an easy alternative. Just like how I’m seeing guys popping on the biz, probably thinking: “Hey, I can just be an escort while my hours are cut.” More like a ticket on flight 11 on 9/11 ? Because the way things are, I haven’t felt so much sap and uncertainty since the recession and 9/11 combined.

Lol, I know exactly who you're referring to. Him and I have "shared" clients more than once, but we've never met. He's close to a client friend of mine I've had for years in Montana. I propositioned him to do a Rentmen video to boost our ratings while he was visiting Kansas city, but he wasn't open to it. And we both know the same clients. I have reached out to him on more than one occasion, he doesn't seem in tune with other providers or trying to network. That's not a put down, but I suggested collaborating together and he always just goes silent. I've asked him about Denver and said there a lot of flakes there, he didn't respond. I wish more ethnic escorts would do like R&B and hip hop artists do: collaborate. Idk why there's this competitive fear of working together like one guy is going to take from the other. I even addressed this on the forum before. We can make more money working together, than trying to hog it all to oneself. Fortunately, a bartender in Denver I've known for years just started escorting...and him and I plan to make a JFF video together. And because he's so popular, this'll be an instant hit overnight. Can't wait lol. That’s tragic. But may I ask: will you stop hiring right now due to fear or catching it, or from the way it may affect you financially? A vaccine is still no sure fire way that you won’t end up getting effects of the virus. Also have you been tested to see if perhaps you’ve already been exposed? I also will say: a client friend of mine told me that many people who are on ARV’s aka HIV meds, have not made up the majority dying from it. Think about it: are we seeing a slew of gay men, or gay HIV positive men being disproportionately affected by this? Not from what I’ve heard. Something with this virus is similar to HIV (from what I’ve read, I’m not a scientist??‍?lol), and many gay men are either on HIV meds or are on Prep. And every week, I keep seeing the same queens online from 2 years ago. So the 200,000+ who have died, doesn’t add up to all 200,000 being sexually active or gay men like in the AIDS epidemic. Granted there’s the indirect risks, but I feel a decision between 2 consenting adults doesn’t bear responsibility for the health of multitudes. Unless of course, those 2 consenting adults are Adam and Eve lol. Point is: hire as usual. The industry needs clients to hire. Otherwise, it may not be the same when you return.

Well you just said it right there though. Granted I don’t know their reasons for not having ads, but if they don’t have ads anymore...technically they aren’t still in the business as far as taking inquiries anymore. That’s a different playing field. By having a regular job and not advertising while seeing clients on the side, they eliminate the financial part of paying for ads, and eliminate the time wasting part of people contacting their ads. I have clients as well who I can contact and schedule appointments with. That’s easy. Quit advertising, get a job, and just entertain clients who I already have met. But that’s not the same thing as a full time escort with multiple ads, receiving calls throughout the week, traveling to other cities, etc.

Well you just said it right there though. Granted I don’t know their reasons for not having ads, but if they don’t have ads anymore...technically they aren’t still in the business as far as taking inquiries anymore. That’s a different playing field. By having a regular job and not advertising while seeing clients on the side, they eliminate the financial part of paying for ads, and eliminate the time wasting part of people contacting their ads. I have clients as well who I can contact and schedule appointments with. That’s easy. Quit advertising, get a job, and just entertain clients who I already have met. But that’s not the same thing as a full time escort with multiple ads, receiving calls throughout the week, traveling to other cities, etc.

Well who do you suggest this mentor to be? Someone affiliated or not within the business? Because I’ll tell you: I’ve come across some escorts who will gladly mentor, but they’ll also rip you to shreds. I don’t need that type of mentor. I actually have a mentor, but it’s an online platform run by sex workers in another country. I find it helps reading it everyday. But relying on someone who’s only going to tell me how to manage my life without any sort of tools to make it happen...I could do without that. And most every gay man I’ve come across who’ve played the mentor roll, finds a way to abuse the situation by saying something out of character and uncalled for. Just like @xyz48B who’s statement I didn’t read when I seen your response to it first lol. Just had it happen last week: trusted friend of mine who’s not an escort but we’re same age. He always uplift me, gives great advice, doing well financially by appearance (partnered, refinanced home and new cars every year), but doesn’t quite have much of a better credit score than me. But yet, said something completely unnecessary at the dinner table the other night, and I just walked away. Told him next day that was completely uncalled for, even though he claims it was just a joke. Obviously not a licensed mentor, but goes to show how some people can’t be trusted to not go too far with things.

Well who do you suggest this mentor to be? Someone affiliated or not within the business? Because I’ll tell you: I’ve come across some escorts who will gladly mentor, but they’ll also rip you to shreds. I don’t need that type of mentor. I actually have a mentor, but it’s an online platform run by sex workers in another country. I find it helps reading it everyday. But relying on someone who’s only going to tell me how to manage my life without any sort of tools to make it happen...I could do without that. And most every gay man I’ve come across who’ve played the mentor roll, finds a way to abuse the situation by saying something out of character and uncalled for. Just like @xyz48B who’s statement I didn’t read when I seen your response to it first lol. Just had it happen last week: trusted friend of mine who’s not an escort but we’re same age. He always uplift me, gives great advice, doing well financially by appearance (partnered, refinanced home and new cars every year), but doesn’t quite have much of a better credit score than me. But yet, said something completely unnecessary at the dinner table the other night, and I just walked away. Told him next day that was completely uncalled for, even though he claims it was just a joke. Obviously not a licensed mentor, but goes to show how some people can’t be trusted to not go too far with things.

Ugh, thankyou for the reminder! Many jobs do require wearing a mask 8 hours a day, and even though people tout the benefits of a mask...I often find myself lightheaded and coughing and sneezing as soon as I put on a mask. Not to mention, the reduced airflow of doing so...I’d likely need to do the face shield route. A bit off topic, and this in no way is an anti-mask statement: but masks remind me of those car bras people put on their car. The manufactures tend to consider those as “obstructions” to the airflow reaching the radiator and condenser. Even though it protects your paint (and even protects your condenser and radiator from rocks/bugs) If a fan malfunctions in the cooling system, the temp gauge will spike VERY fast. I’ve had it happen on one of my vehicles. That’s how it can feel when someone like myself with asthma, has to wear a mask for extended periods of time. But just to be clear, I never touted that I wanted to get a 2nd job. I just stated what others have said to me. I just made an observation that it “SEEMS” like that’s something that is required to maintain in this biz. We have to have consistent income to get a nice incall place, otherwise we won’t make much money because 80% of clients (at least in repressed Midwest towns) can’t host. We have to have steady income to pay for ads+our regular bills. The “1 appointment will pay for those ads” analogy sounds good on paper, but that’s not how it actually is: Let’s say I have only 1 appointment the week my RentMen ad is due. You have to subtract that from the rate. RentMen ads are not a Revolving credit card. I don’t just immediately get that money available to me when I pay the bill. I have to then wait until the NEXT appointment, in which I may have already paid for 2 or 3 other ad spaces. And I say that because I met a guy in my neighborhood who does massages and has a very nice townhouse. When I inquired further, he had a full timer doing nails, and his massages were also in one of those Asian salons. He only did at home massages by appointment only. No, gone bad because they contacted me to schedule time, and then didn’t uphold their end of the bargain. And then when I mention I have a cancellation fee for missed appointments, some want to fight and argue with me about something THEY INITIATED TO BEGIN WITH. I told off a client who I’ve known for couple years who always comes to Saint Louis from Michigan to visit his parents the other week (and truth be told, we had a couple of issues in the past anyway). He hits me up in the afternoon, says he is in town and wants an appointment, sends me the address we were set to meet at 11 that evening. By 7 o’clock he’s telling me something may be coming up, and now he can’t meet. I told him I understand his circumstances. But he’s done it before and this time he didn’t bothered leaving me a cancel fee, I told him if he can’t keep the arrangement, don’t contact me again. How many times do escorts get to do the same thing?

Ugh, thankyou for the reminder! Many jobs do require wearing a mask 8 hours a day, and even though people tout the benefits of a mask...I often find myself lightheaded and coughing and sneezing as soon as I put on a mask. Not to mention, the reduced airflow of doing so...I’d likely need to do the face shield route. A bit off topic, and this in no way is an anti-mask statement: but masks remind me of those car bras people put on their car. The manufactures tend to consider those as “obstructions” to the airflow reaching the radiator and condenser. Even though it protects your paint (and even protects your condenser and radiator from rocks/bugs) If a fan malfunctions in the cooling system, the temp gauge will spike VERY fast. I’ve had it happen on one of my vehicles. That’s how it can feel when someone like myself with asthma, has to wear a mask for extended periods of time. But just to be clear, I never touted that I wanted to get a 2nd job. I just stated what others have said to me. I just made an observation that it “SEEMS” like that’s something that is required to maintain in this biz. We have to have consistent income to get a nice incall place, otherwise we won’t make much money because 80% of clients (at least in repressed Midwest towns) can’t host. We have to have steady income to pay for ads+our regular bills. The “1 appointment will pay for those ads” analogy sounds good on paper, but that’s not how it actually is: Let’s say I have only 1 appointment the week my RentMen ad is due. You have to subtract that from the rate. RentMen ads are not a Revolving credit card. I don’t just immediately get that money available to me when I pay the bill. I have to then wait until the NEXT appointment, in which I may have already paid for 2 or 3 other ad spaces. And I say that because I met a guy in my neighborhood who does massages and has a very nice townhouse. When I inquired further, he had a full timer doing nails, and his massages were also in one of those Asian salons. He only did at home massages by appointment only. No, gone bad because they contacted me to schedule time, and then didn’t uphold their end of the bargain. And then when I mention I have a cancellation fee for missed appointments, some want to fight and argue with me about something THEY INITIATED TO BEGIN WITH. I told off a client who I’ve known for couple years who always comes to Saint Louis from Michigan to visit his parents the other week (and truth be told, we had a couple of issues in the past anyway). He hits me up in the afternoon, says he is in town and wants an appointment, sends me the address we were set to meet at 11 that evening. By 7 o’clock he’s telling me something may be coming up, and now he can’t meet. I told him I understand his circumstances. But he’s done it before and this time he didn’t bothered leaving me a cancel fee, I told him if he can’t keep the arrangement, don’t contact me again. How many times do escorts get to do the same thing?

Makes sense. But it’s just a real cruel game to play. I have even had a client or two use the “I’m afraid of Covid” excuse, and I tell them...you weren’t scared enough to go looking for connection with another person. If they knew all the while they were concerned, they should have been knitting or painting...not cruising ? for a bruising ? That’s true. And that’s also the part I’m somewhat “afraid” of. Not afraid in the sense of the word, but in a way: what if I do leave...then can’t go back to it because I don’t only just miss it, but afraid that if I put myself out there again, I’m going to lose interest in the biz again, after the 1st flake. Or just afraid of having my time wasted again and again. I don’t even see how people who do have a regular real time job can even do this “on the side”. If I had a regular job that was paying me decent money, I would have no interest or very little tolerance dealing with this level of inquiries. Maybe a cancelled appointment doesn’t sting as much, but I can’t imagine having someone cancel after I done worked 8-10 hours all day long...and not feel a bit annoyed by it. I’d be like, why am I wasting my time dealing with this shit, when I already am earning money? Or be at work and listening to mother suckers say, “Can you meet last minute by chance”, or “the time you get off work is too late for me”, or “I’ll try back another time”... which never comes or comes months later, and it’s the same shit: last minute and they can only meet in their tiny window of time, never the time that works best for me. I had to explain to a young client today (he hired me once, but we’ve been back and forth communicating as “pen pals”, which I’m starting to wonder about these things now). I told him I’ve been dealing with flakes all weekend. He decides to throw in the convenient, “why not get a full time job”. As if I can just stop what I’m doing, and find a job as quickly as finding a corner ATM ??‍♂️ I said first off, don’t tell me how to manage. And 2nd...I’m tired of people blaming the provider. I’m not some hobo out here looking for handouts. It cost goddamn, $150 a month to advertise on RentMen, RentMass, and A4A. I’m not just out here posting Grindr ads looking for money. So to sit around and be toyed with day in, day out by people who can't be bothered to READ ads, plan things with no coordination, or flake and bail and leave me high and dry...is not something I need to be reprimanded for. I’m just doing my duty. Address the ones who need to be reprimanded. That got him together real quick. Like I said... if you read what I said, that didn’t make up for the other 2-3 weeks where I made nothing. That $1,200 didn’t last much past the weekend because I was already behind on bills, not to mention the hotel and the cost to get to the city. And I could have made more, but I had some other flakes here and there. This weekend, I’ve not had a single confirmed booking. And at this point, I’ve gone ahead and iced my RentMen platform, because I don’t need the clock to be ticking if I’m not getting any hits in this area. I’ll defrost it once I get into a better market. The others will have to do for now.