JB_Studio38

My 2 pennies of cents: I’m not particularly thrilled with the layout change. I think the previous format was a lot more breezier to scroll thru, and the emoji’s were a bit more plentiful. This platform doesn’t have enough emojis, but it’s sufficient. At the same time: I know those in charge have to do what they have to do. Hopefully in favor. I know some sites over the years did not survive reformatting. Adam4Adam reformatted their site a couple or so times: each time there was a drop in business, but it always managed to rebound and still bring clients. However, it’s still not as profitable as it used to be, since they did the changes. However, it has seemed to have created a more user friendly platform, and it was just time for them to change. Initially I was annoyed with the new A4A site, but now I enjoy the layout. They stuck with their 90s layout for awhile, but their gradual change ensured a smooth transition. That’s what I think is a good idea for any site. That said, I hope we can adapt to the new layout, because it does look good. but personally I’m having trouble navigating on it using iPhone/mobile. Also I used to like when I had a few minutes to edit a post, before it shows I edited it. Like 5-10 minutes would be nice.

This is exactly how I feel about deposits. This and the rest of this topic. It’s really down to what you’re comfortable with... even though I also agree with @Benjamin_Nicholas that, you have to get past the initial level of over-discretion if you really want to next level in the business AND, weed out extra faff and questions. This is actually what makes me even more adamant to take deposits. Clients get to see my face and my privates in plain view, there should be 0 bitching and popping gums at the request for a deposit. The unbalance is unreal sometimes. That said: in my personal life outside of escorting, I don’t meet guys without a face pic. Mainly because majority are often flakes or catfishes. I know that’s different than the reason of the OP, but I personally don’t for those reasons. However: I do recall that at one point... not showing face pics was very common in escort ads in the early 2000s, and even NO PIC back in the days of magazine and newspaper ads. Times have changed, but it’s still worth mentioning. I know for me: I have a stack of business cards but I do not show my face on them. In that situation, it’s a little more important to be discreet for obvious reasons.

And even when some of them do communicate properly, it still doesn’t make it right. If someone books a provider’s time (especially in this type of business, and I’m not talking about other businesses... I’m talking about this one)...I feel it’s just the right thing to do to provide either a deposit on the front end or cancellation on the back end. Any client who cancels a session and doesn’t send a cancellation fee or deposit, is trash. Point blank period. Even when I tell my other clients things like this, they agree. Only shitty, inconsiderate clients book appointments with no real intention of keeping them. I even had one today do it again: he contacted me back in September and cancelled the visit when I was trying to pencil him in for later in the day. He books me yesterday for a visit: and low and behold, cancels AGAIN. Same pattern. They do it once and do it again. Can’t be trusted, which is why I’m even going to require deposit from previous clients who contacted and didn’t follow thru with their session.

Okay...you seem to be playing the devils advocate quite well. At the end of the day: it costs me money to host. Whether that’s in the form of a booking that could have been scheduled in place, or a hotel that was paid for and can’t be cancelled (and most hotels don’t allow cancellations when booked the same day anyway, even when they offer refundable or cancellation periods). That’s what you don’t seem to understand. I went thru the effort to book a room to host 2 clients who I thought would show, and neither of them showed. I had no other clients booked that day or night. So I lost money on the room. Had a gotten a deposit like I was doing before, I would have weeded them out or atleast covered part or all of the room. If clients think they can cancel without consequence as you say, then I don’t want to deal with them. It’s not about consequence, it’s about making sure I’m not doing work and effort before I get paid. Because guess who has to deal with the consequence of them cancelling if they don’t show? THE PROVIDER.

Well like I said previously: I’m stepping back from what other providers are or aren’t doing. Like I said: I’ve worked side by side with providers who don’t mind the “come over right now” brigade. But I’ve also seen them wait in the wings of, “he might be coming, but I think he’s playing around”. And they deal with that round the clock on every tour. They may tell you as a client one thing, but I know 1st hand what it’s like. I know one guy who came to my town and had a handful of clients, but he also told me about 6 people no showed/no called him. More power to him, but I don’t have that level of tolerance. If I can weed out the ones who likely won’t show with a deposit, I’ve saved myself a lot of valuable time. It’s not just “my area”. It’s the whole of the United States. Every state. Every state has the same predictable ways. I know because I’ve been to all of them. Some worse or better than others.

I actually have majority of clients making electronic payments. In fact on a recent trip, all my clients in 1 weekend used an app to pay for the session, even without my asking. I even have clients who encourage me to ask for deposits lol. I understand the first time and very new and nervous probably wouldn’t feel comfortable, but they too are more likely to not show up. Again: I’m offering options. I’m not saying every client must provide a deposit. If they can host, I’m willing to be flexible. The thing is when it comes down to me hosting, I don’t want to just plan things loosely on the basis that they might show up. If they have the means to host, by all means. I feel like there’s an unspoken truth that men feel less inclined to commit to sessions, when they aren’t the one doing the hosting. And that’s understandable: But don’t have me going thru the effort to host, and then not show up.

Interesting point you make: I could see how that would seem to be the case. However, I actually do like what I do. At the same time: I’ve been around long enough to know what I feel comfortable operating. Based on the original I posted: It wasn’t case where I didn’t enjoy what I was doing: it was a case where I had done the necessary production to host 2 incall sessions: and ended up stood up in the process. I’ve used this similarity before about wedding planners: they always take deposits. Likewise, I would like to take deposits. The issue comes when guys want to reason and disagree about sending one: yet when I actually let my guards down and do without: I end up getting stiffed. That’s what the problem is. It’s not me who has an issue with the business, it’s some who have issues with how providers operate. 2 different things.

It’s hard to tell. Sounds like he did good to deliver each time previously, maybe it was just an off night. I do think the “I’m not a robot” comment seems a bit snarky, especially during or after sex. I would only use that when talking to my friends or in a general conversation about sex work, but not directly to a client. Sometimes when I don’t feel like cumming, I’ll just tell a client that I don’t want to feel tired after or have that “rush” of energy leave my body so early in the day/evening. And that I’m fine with not cumming if it’s not a big deal for them.

Jokes aside: I do think it’s time to bring back “escorts” now that Donald Dump is out of office. Let’s not forget: Sesta/Fosta was introduced in 2016 and killed off a lot of websites offering descriptive escort services. Since the last election, not much has been replaced... but it seems like police reform is helping. With less of a budget, there doesn’t seem to be as much of a pressure to go after “providers”. But I have heard of a porn shop in Lincoln, Nebraska recently being raided and people arrested for indecent exposure or something like that.

My point exactly! It is inconsiderate. And honestly, I’m not even doing it out of spite. I don’t want clients to think I’m doing this because “other clients” didn’t show up. I’m so past that. For me, it’s more about the fact that there needs to be better understanding from the start. Anybody can say they are going to go somewhere, and not show up. It’s just too easy. I want to get it out of their heads that they can just have these sudden urges to contact me (usually always in the morning or noon lunch hours) and then change their minds...I don’t work like that. I’m tired of working like that. Calling an escort is not “arbitrary”. There needs to be some order. If someone wants me to host, they need to confirm it. People never know what a provider may need to go thru, to accept an appointment. Discretion is understandable 100%... but I’ve gone so far as to even send people barcodes to deposit cash into one of my app accounts. And that’s the option that I’ll continue to give. Sometimes an escort reaches a breaking point in their career: and this is that. And I’m not double backing any more.

Well that’s why I’m being open to give options. The option being: if they can host (particularly in a hotel or verifiable home address), no deposit would be necessary. Granted, I’m sure some providers may have it the other way around: Deposit for outcalls. But for me, I prefer it to host. There’s no worse feeling than giving a client your hotel name/address and perhaps even room number... and they not show up. Except: paying for said hotel and they cancel moments after handing over my credit card 😞 And hotels are unforgiving. I still haven’t gotten my money back, and now have to file a dispute with my bank, which will likely cause me to get either blacklisted from the hotel or my Priceline account. All due to 2 inconsiderables who contacted ME for an appointment and flaked before I even checked into the hotel. And what made it so bad was: It was actually a nice hotel. High rise, amenities, etc. But non of that matters if I leave where I’m already staying, and just sit there on a Friday night with 2 cancelled bookings.

Thanks for replies. Unfortunately it’s just the way it has to be. I had eased up because I worked with other escorts who don’t collect deposits, and get flaked on. But at this point I’m just tired of listening to what other guys are or aren’t doing. I have to do what works for me. And what works for me, is making sure any client who wants me to host: regardless if I’m hosting at home or even if I’m already in a hotel from another client. I don’t know what it is, why the majority of those who book incalls are the most likely to not show up. I even had a client who couldn’t host, but he went and booked a casino hotel with his points. I’ve also have clients who say, “oh I can’t because my wife/accountant, etc.” or “I’ve been scammed before”. Well...too bad. Not my fault. On top of that, they want to book using text-mail or some other burner phone app, and expect me to believe I should trust them to show up. The sneaky issue is: some will show up without sending a deposit. Then I start to think, well maybe I can be more accommodating sometimes. And let my guard down. But it only takes 1 or 2 no shows to cause a complete catastrophe. And like I say, there’s been times where I’ve already been at a hotel...and clients book to come to me, and still don’t show up. I even had a previously met client cancel an incall appointment that was planned about 2-3 days prior. Once again, no deposit. But because I was not feeling well after my covid shot, I just let it slide. Going forward now, the deposit will have to be ready in hand before even sending any address info. If they have trust/privacy issues...they can book a room or find a time to host. I know there’s still the risk of outcalls cancelling as well...but it’s generally less often and with less of a privacy/financial risk. I know there’s the risk too of putting off clients, but here’s how I make sense of it: if they aren’t going to show up, then they aren’t worth keeping around anyway. And odds are, most incall requests don’t show up so, I won’t really be losing much in the long run.

For a brief period of time, I had eased up on my requirement for deposits for incall sessions where the client comes to me. It had seemed like people were showing up a little bit more. But after yesterday, I’ve decided to permanently require all clients asking to come to me, to make a deposit. I’m putting it across all of my ads and upfront. I will absolutely not be hosting anyone if they don’t make a deposit. You would think it’s more risky to go to a client’s place and be stood up, but more often than not: it’s the ones who claim to want to come to me, which end up not showing up. Just yesterday I had 2 clients fail to show up for their appointment request. I didn’t get a deposit from either, because I was in a hurry and needed to book a room to host an “incall day” (I have a place already, but I don’t host appointments from right now). Unfortunately I had went ahead and booked the non refundable rate for the hotel. So far it’s been hell and high water to change the date or get a refund, and I literally had no use for the hotel otherwise. To add insult to injury, one of the clients became very disrespectful, even calling me names and saying I was silly to get a hotel for him. And the same idiot booked an appointment previously where he hosted, and I didn’t go because he wouldn’t pay the deposit. This time, I try to trust him to show up without paying the deposit, and he STILL doesn’t show up. So for the remainder of my escort career: I won’t be accepting anymore excuses or reasons why a client can’t pay a deposit to come to me. It’s just too many times where people want me to host, and they don’t show up. And I either end up out of money, or out of time setting aside time for them and they don’t show up. If they can’t make the deposit, they either need to host or I won’t see them. No exceptions.

Good replies! Another thing I’ll say, and I don’t mean to be pompous or not understanding of a client’s situation... but the other time wasting thing that inadvertently happens is when the client actually is serious about meeting, but there’s very little notice given. So I may spend (waste) the time sorting the arrangements, only to realize they can only meet right then and there, and conveniently it’s usually right after I’ve accepted plans or resolved to do something else. it really annoys the shit out of me lol. I try to place myself in the client’s shoes: people request stuff all the time at the last minute (like having a party of 10 coming to dine in 15 minutes before the restaurant closes lol). And sometimes yes, I’m glad when a client can meet right away. Particularly when I’m just sitting in a hotel room waiting for someone to come over (which is seldom that it happens as conveniently as that) But what does suck is when I can’t, the appointment may never happen... or happens months later, where they’ll sometimes pull the same, “last minute” thing. Sometimes it works, other times it results in missing the same client 2 or 3 times before finally... hard feelings get in the mix. I’ve had this happen a few times. One client even contacted me, and I contacted him back almost right away. But he waited like an hour and a half to respond. By that time, I was already on my way to a friend’s place. I didn’t want to cancel them because I’ve not seen them in a long time. When I tried to get the client to schedule for later in night, he was open to it but then cancelled saying he has to be up at 6 am. That’s why I’m like, some days...what the fuck? Is this how we have to business?

lol, it reminds me of back in the day when I used to “start up” on gay.com. Back then, the word generous wouldn’t get you banned, like the Grindr police do. Guys in Miami would frequently ask me, “are you a scort?”

yah, it’s hard to say if they were having issues... but just that they were getting out the hotel biz. if it’s anything like bars are, perhaps the hotel has been sold to a new owner who will repackage the resort. I like the “nude” resorts, but I do wish there were more chains in the area. I know there was a quality inn that the former host assistant used to at, that was turned into a travelodge. 2 separate chains

I know, that’s all the headlines right! But it’s hard to tell whether it’s the panda or just general. Divorces happen all the time. Just ask an escort, we hear about it ? I have dated during the pandemic, and for the most part it’s hard to tell whether it’s just the general “commune” vibe of the Midwest, or not. But it’s been nothing promising. Non of the people I’ve dated has come into anything, but I also don’t really expect it like I used to anyway. Most these guys out here are in it for sex, or a little attention. So whether or not it works out, is really more of a challenge than a possibility. However I don’t think things were any better or worse being a bachelor. I know some people have taken on stressful jobs during the pandemic, which doesn’t help.

https://tortugadelsol.com/ Stayed here on my last visit to Palm Springs weekend couple years ago. Quaint hotel, not as “active” as the other popular locations, but well kept and in a good location. I had fun when I stayed though. They actually did have real turtles swimming around the ponds. Not sure if it was pandemic related or just general hotel ebb and flow.

ah... yah it sounds like there wasn’t enough notice given on his end either. “Ever” made it back to Denver sounds like he could have reached out further ahead to see what your schedule was like before he arrived or even started making plans to go to Denver. So in that case, there was no “wrong” doing, just a bad case of not enough notice and him not being in town long enough (which also happens to us). Can’t even imagine the number of times I’ve had clients request appointments, and maybe I don’t reply right away or say I am free tomorrow (or even just a couple hours later), and they say; “I’m leaving tomorrow/can’t meet that late, I can’t”. I remember saying that to a mechanic in Florida one time, when I needed a service. Said I was looking for it today, as I was needing to head out tomorrow. He got miffed and told me, “well if you need it done sooner, there’s plenty of other shops along the boulevard to go to.” It was rude, but in the same token I understood EXACTLY how he felt... because I deal with that all the time. So I’ve learned to never go to any service provider expecting something to be done “today” or when I need it (unless it’s a big corporate place with multiple employees, or perhaps someone who just happens to have extra time on their hands). Be flexible. If you can’t, don’t go looking for trouble lol. Time and Space is an inevitable force to contend with ? I know some of my regulars in different cities, I have to check in with them first before I even start planning to go... just to ensure they’re even open to still hiring to begin with, and then contact them again once I start sending out prospective dates for arrival.

That always gets a bit tricky. Trying to catch missed connections. But when you say you didn’t respond right away, how much time went by between the time of contact and the time of reply? And was there any comm in between that time? I had a bit of a “miscommunication” with someone as well earlier this week. But considering the first time he had contacted me in another city and sorta “flaked” (didn’t return my message when I replied to his asking about a session)...I did have to ask for a cancel payment. I wonder if there’s any escorts out there who just get tired of the whole “process” of the duck, duck, goose and retire because of that. Just be done, with it. Because for me that’s really what just makes me want to walk away from it most days. It’s not the escorting itself that’s the issue, it’s the constant having to be plugged in, and running after people. Like I say some cities are worse than others. The South and some areas of the Midwest tend to be where it’s the most common. Probably due to the repressive gay mentality that exists. like yesterday I had someone text me at midnight for a booking. I was out getting pub and grub so I just sent a text saying I wasn’t available right then, but to leave me their contact info and I’ll follow up. They asked about yesterday or tonight, and I replied in the morning. No reply so far. But if he waits hours and hours to respond back, the session might get missed because how am I to know if this is actually going to be an appointment at this point? I wish there was a booking system where people could just make appointments thru online, pay deposit and just be done. But it’s not that easy because obviously there’s too many variables. It’s not we’re a hotel or salon that has set hours and 1 location. I mean, I guess if a guy does have his own incall place and doesn’t travel or have other work obligations, that may could work.

I think this is a big part of the issue here. There needs to be a big shift away from fearing to meet another man for sex over concerns of it being a cop. Hopefully police reform will help curb some of these issues. That’s true, but I feel some of it is also just habitual dick behavior that guys pull. Case in point: a problem client who I’ve blocked and sent away multiple times over the years, because he would flake every other booking, will every so often end up in my inbox. Just yesterday he did again. Because I was very nearby to him, I figured I’d give him another chance to prove himself, he goes thru the whole process, even arranging a time... and no shows. Which I figured he would, which is why I accepted a non business date about an hour after the time we had set to meet. Another client last week reached out to book last Friday. Claims “a friend” gave him my info. But he could’nt meet because work issues. Says he’ll book Saturday. Again, work issues and can’t. He asks how long I’m in town. Asked about Sunday... at that point I said contact me, but I had already decided to go out of town. Sure enough, didn’t contact. I’m just getting real fed up with everything right about now. Part of the problem seems to be there is too many escorts starting out here currently. One escort I met was like, “we’re not competition, they call all of us and they all play games”. It’s almost like he’s essentially saying clients don’t have any discernment, and that I didn’t agree with. I don’t want a client who’s “calling everybody”. But if I can’t get the chance to be a limited commodity, then that’s probably what ends up happening. That can be fixed by changing cities, and I’m pretty much ready to cut ties with certain cities because of that. I think my next step going forward may be to take my number down, require clients to instead give me their number thru IM or email. That way it could be more like, I’ll contact YOU, once I can verify you’re serious. Idk.

ugh, tell me about it. hookup sites are a whole other animal of course. but you’d think as paying members of these sites we advertise on, there would be a little less in the way of faff occurring. Yet I feel I’m wasting just as much time as I would be just doing it for free, and that’s a problem. And I’m sure someone will be like, “well in other businesses...” this is not other businesses. This is advertising on RentMen and Rentmasseur and sometimes A4A (which has surprisingly become less of a time waster site than the other 2). It used to be Adam4Adam was the biggest time waste site, but I’ve easily mitigated that because I just send out auto replies with my number and if they don’t reach out, I don’t bother. With the other sites, people have our number (or IM) to their advantage, so most of the screening out has to be done from my own phone. And it’s just hours and hours wasted each week. Sometimes with not a whole lot to show from it. Just over the weekend I had a “bucket” of inquiries in one of my rotational cities, but only 1 really showed up. I seen how 1 guy I met took calls: he would deal with time wasting clients round the clock (often even the Grindr types) and seem total unphased. But he also didn’t seem to really care about the clients or his presentation (and was usually pretty drugged out). And I’m like, that’s not me. Some guys see clients as numbers, some clients see us as just a phone number. That does not help to build any sort of rapport.

I try to keep a level head when it comes down to it, but some days (or weeks) I just really feel like it makes no damn sense. I can go thru my phone on texts and just see so many responses that just have gone nowhere. Either they just flat out stop responding, or don’t reply to a request to confirm a time, or when trying to arrange something they can’t make it happen outside of the immediate time they want to do it. Or they contact me booking a session, when they clearly are in a position to not be able to (at work, etc etc reason) After a daily dosing of this type of communication, I just end up fatigued of the whole thing because then I start to feel like I’m in a rat race. So I been using the freeze mode of my ad fairly regularly...simply because it’s like a week of break seems a good idea considering the amount of time wasted, adds up to a lot of time that could be expended toward other things. And today I feel like freezing my ad again ??‍♂️

Well I know but...all it takes is 1 bad apple (*coughs” cop) from east of the Cascades, to come into the city and mess everything up. (thankyou, I could not remember the name of the range yesterday! Sierras was stuck in my head). And even though it is 30% of the population, it’s more than half of the state. But I won’t rag on Washington too much, I really don’t know the state too well. I only had a 2 day experience there years ago, when I was stuck in Yakima unintentionally. And a very rude Greyhound driver in Seattle on my way to Boise ? Btw what’s wrong with Spokane?? It does seem like it’s a little “too” popular on episodes of cops and livePD.

That sounds tragic, but anything that is an offer of high rate and a whole week... is just gleaming scam. Not sure if he was new or just convinced Though I must say, the misfortune did sound like a hot fantasy. Wonder if he was being filmed in the process. For all the comparison to Las Vegas, I can understand why. I don’t even like to tour in Vegas without a confirmed client arrangement. I went last month, arrived at 10 p.m. and was out of there by 3 am. It was just a Friday night stop on the way elsewhere lol. But I’d imagine Miami is probably the closest “Dubai of America” just off top of my head. Except for rich Saudis, it’s rich South Americans. Suspicions confirmed ? https://medium.com/@mikebarrytravel/miami-is-dubai-with-cubans-9ab9955196e2