JB_Studio38

A little play on words, but not necessarily one that's been averted with a signature from the president 😄 But I have decided to remove all nude pics from my RentMasseur private gallery, and move all my nudes on RentMen to FULL private. I’ve toyed with this before previously, but this time I’m leaving it for good. I feel I’ve done enough, too much free advertising to people out here who have 0 respect for my time or craft. I have been generous long enough, sharing my photos with potential “suitors”, but the time for that ends today. I’m not doing it anymore. If someone wants to see my private pics, they will need to: 1. Have an appointment, and/or 2. Pay a deposit I’m just not doing it anymore. I don't feel people out here aren't considerate about the work and advertising that goes into being on the site. I’m only dealing with clients on a very “reserved” basis going forward. As in, those who are reserved will receive the material. The rest don’t appreciate it and I’m tired of having my time wasted and disrespected week, after week. Day after day. Over and over again.

The latter you're talking about, if someone having sex in exchange for drugs...that's not a provider. That's what we call in America: a crack ho. Not that is funny or meant to be demeaning, but it's a serious issue and a part of the negative stigma often given to sex workers in movies and crime sitcoms. So, don't even go there.

Excellent point: I was actually just there last month and earlier this year: I actually even thought about moving myself. But, even though I like New Mexico, something is missing there for me. I feel after awhile, I could get a bit “fatigued” of hatch green Chile and long droughts…not to mention despite the wealthy population, crime in Albuquerque and Santa Fe is unusually common for such an “enchanted” state (on my last visit, some lady grabbed my passenger side door handle and tried to get in…at night. Coulda been a mixup but…this was at a hotel off Cerillos, and she literally ran to my car off the street. But.. that’s by no means criticizing it because I’ve really grown to like Santa Fe. I used to like Albuquerque more, but I’ve found it’s gotten so slow over the years, I find myself skipping it in favor of Santa Fe. As for client base: you would think that by staying in an area for awhile, the client “base” would grow…but it’s not that way. If anything, the longer I stay in Kansas City and Saint Louis, the smaller the pool gets. I just had to tell one guy in KC that I’ve met before (back in December, because he’s full of shit and misses me every time) to fuck off today because he refuses, refuses….. REFUSES to follow my instructions given over 1 billion times, that 1. I am not up at 7 a.m. taking calls, and he needs to put in some sort of planning…not calling me out the blue asking if I’m available “now”, because I don’t operate like that. Then when I reach back out to him, he plays busy or doesn’t respond. Then had the audacity to send me a picture of a bunch of money he’s holding…as if that means half a fuck about how serious a client he is 🤦🏽‍♂️ I end up having to tell people this here over and over again, and at this point I’m just like…fuck whatever base I have left because, this shit is not worth dealing with out here. They want to contact at the last minute, but then don’t want to come or be available during the time I tell them I’m open.

lol I think Missouri falls into that category as well. “Midwest” is a relatively new term: back in the 1500s you either had the South, the North, and Mexico lol. Later, western came about. But not sure how much later Midwest came into play. Washington DC and Saint Louis are also one of those weird “sorta north, sorta south” cities…as you can see from the map. I find places like that you never know what you’re going to get. Like with DC: it’s definitely north considered to Atlanta or Florida. But it still has a bit of a southern “vibe” to it. Not to mention, the convenience of having the nations Capitol there, seems to coincide moreso with it being southern…considering Virginia was a big trade state back in the day 😒 Why did you leave Texas and Oklahoma anyhow?

Where in the Midwest did you live? I appreciate some aspects of it, but I’m just so tired of the bullshit. Like I can be in Indy, Chicago, Milwaukee, Nashville, or even Dallas all within a day. And have done it (driving). But it’s still far. And being it’s not places I can just go for a day and turn back around like some cities in Florida were, I have to pack up and plan to stay longer if needed.

Asking from a point of providers particularly, but others can chime. I feel I am just so ready to leave my current market for good. Now that the seasons are changing, I’m not even looking forward to spending another winter in this part of the country (I guess would be considered lower Midwest/heartland: In my case, I am so over and tired of my current state and the surrounding locations…I can’t even think about anything else but a way to relocate. Last month I went out to Arizona for a week, and even though it isn’t perfect (the heat, congestion, and biz in Phoenix wasn’t great this time around but I had enough bookings to make it worthwhile) I just felt so much different and relieved to see different things; Palm Trees, mountains, more diverse people and Latino (sadly I didn’t get to hookup with any but I had 1 or 2 who were supposed to come by). Meanwhile, in the boring Missouri Midwest…I am fed up and over this shit. Even though I’m “close” to many major cities and International airports, in reality things are still much further than say; Phoenix and Tucson, Miami to Fort Lauderdale, or the Los Angeles, San Diego, Las Vegas triangle. I’m logging mega miles going between relatively medium sized cities, and I’m not even getting to go as often. Towns like Omaha, Des Moines are good for a couple days, but then you go thru the client base within those 2 days. And it’s too far to travel to every week. Also the problem with the Midwest, and specially Missouri: Once you leave Saint Louis and Kansas City (and very rarely Springfield), there’s no opportunity for A) Gay socializing and B) Male sex work. Like in Illinois: once outside of Chicago, it is surrounded by some very conservative locations where there’s little or no opportunity to make connections. I was even exploring Northwest Arkansas area which is just 3-4 hours south of Kansas City. I’ve gone about 3-4 times, and now I’m just over it. I get hits but then they don’t follow thru. I’ve met 2 or 3 good clients, but places like Eureka Springs which is supposedly the “ San Francisco of the Midwest/ozarks” whatever…there’s like 5 guys on Adam4Adam there, and it doesn’t even register on the RentMen and Rentmasseur as a City to advertise in. And some potential clients in Arkansas are pretty much flakes, like this guy who just completely stood me up, despite having numerous apparent good reviews by other providers (except for one). I tried leaving him a bad review, but I guess RentMen changed it to where providers can’t leave reviews for clients now: https://rent.men/Shanestur I just don’t get these people. Some of the clients in the Midwest even come off a little bigoted, like they just don’t give a fuck about me or my business. Like I have to argue with some of them about how I do business…like keeping appointments that they claim they never made, and me collecting a deposit. Well, you’d collect a deposit too if the first time you came to Kansas City, someone played for a whole week like they were going to come see you, right down to giving YOUR hotel name and room, and they go mysteriously silent. Or 2 clients contacted you around noon in Saint Louis, and you went and spent $90 on a hotel, and neither one showed up. And you didn’t need the hotel otherwise, nor did you ever get your money back because it was prepaid via Priceline. Wouldn’t you want to get a deposit? My point exactly. It just really gets on my nerves dealing with these guys. I’m so over the Midwest, and just looking for a new city, in a new state, and not HAVE to travel so far to other cities because the one I’m in, is so bland of opportunity.

I’m skeptical. Part of me feels like there isn’t really a push for a “cure “ because so much revolves around HIV care and therapy. And how do we know that “cure” is not just another “undetectable” situation? I’d wear condoms for the simple fact some guys just don’t take care. I recall one client had an ENORMOUS amount and size of HPV cancer lumps around his ass. I wouldn’t even fuck him WITH a condom. I used my dildo, and he wasn’t properly cleaned out. I had to quit. He did admit that he was going in for cancer treatment for it, but to have 1 more last fuck prior I think should have stuck with oral.

Between Los Angeles and Chicago, I find the 2 cities have the highest prices for gas consistently. However that sign is a bit odd considering regular is only 4 cents more than premium. Many times in cities like that, premium runs 50 to 90 cents higher. On the occasion that I do drive to either one, I usually prefer to fill up in the state or outlying area before getting into the area. And once I’m on my way out, just throw in a $20 until I get to some reasonable prices. Here in Missouri, it’s hovering around $2.69-2.79…but keeps going up and down. Up and down 20-30 cents every couple of weeks. Considering my commute back and forth to the city is so far, I end up spending as much as if I were paying LA prices 😒

The “PnP” aka party and play scene (Chemsex just sounds like some sort of bioengineered sex lol) is big in just about every major gay scene in America too.

Update: All is well. My client buddy and I discussed and moved on from what happened. He’s definitely learned from the mistake and cut back all together. I’m just glad things weren’t worse. I didn’t recognize he was spiraling, but I did notice he was consuming quite a bit. He had his first small glass of wine today, just over dinner together. So all is well.

I’m just trying to catch your drift, but you ask if being on party drugs is necessary to secure longer appointments? Definitely not. I personally have come across many clients who are open to longer sessions, without having to add party favs to the mix, on both sides. And even if they’re doing it, doesn’t mean I have to do it. Though…I’ve become less inclined to say, “I don’t care if you party, but I don’t” because that’s how weird situations arise. And I just don’t want to be a part of someone’s bad trip.

Brilliant. I’ll dedicate you a song

Well that’s certainly different than your previous post about his issues. And yeah if he’s a junky, that’s more of an issue deeper than you can really take blame for. At the same time, giving him tidbits of info and mulling over it, just isn’t going to do much justice. I don’t mess with or trust druggy guys under any circumstances. Even when it comes to sex, you might not be getting the real thing. I had sex with a fellow escort earlier this year, he was always aggressively horny and wanting me to fuck him. When we finally fucked, he wouldn’t return messages for a round 2. Couple weeks ago, my suspicions were confirmed: he’s in a relationship. Seems he’d fuck when he’s high, and probably not even remember it.

Makes sense. But part of the difference is like you said, YOU would head OUT immediately. Versus, they would want to come to you immediately. I even noticed my barber get frustrated once, because he generally takes his calls in the morning, yet someone he knows called in the mid afternoon….when he’s usually ready to go. However, I want to keep other industries out of this. I hate it when people are like, “but McDonald’s takes people at the last minute, stop complaining” (I can hear it now) 🤦🏽‍♂️ My thing isn’t even so much last minute, it’s how some of these guys are very inflexible AND, AND……AND want it last minute. I could see if someone is like; “yeah I can either host at my place or go to you. I don’t have anything else going on at the moment. Let me know what appointment time you can do, and I’ll figure out a way accommodate.” But some guys expect me to move mountains, when they not even hopping over puddles. And I hate when someone is like, “I don’t feel comfortable sending Deposit to someone I don’t know”. But yet they want me to feel 100% comfortable with someone who I don’t even know what they look like, and, AND…. AND spend my own money to accommodate a location for them. And sure, they probably expect a person to already have an incall location set up, but when I’m visiting someplace: if I don’t get any booking requests, I will more often than not find alternative staying arrangements. Nothing worse than paying $100-150 nightly for a hotel (which may or may not include deposit) with no bookings on the roster. And then someone wants to contact at 2:45, to come to me…when checkout was noon. Brilliant.

...when I write a 1 word thread post, it's usually a lot more to it lol. But my thing is, how do people expect to get appointments with a provider without doing much in the way of ad reading/coordinated reaching out? Not trying to be a bitch but, I had to explain this to someone earlier today. I'm telling this person, "you're visiting, I'm visiting. We're both visiting this area". I always tell people, if you have a very limited time window, these things have to be planned in advance. I waited around all day Saturday and all day Sunday, and even all morning Monday...no bookings, so I decided to go home. Then, this person texts me after I decided I was going to commute the opposite direction of where he was. I could have accommodated, but this person was trying to get me to be ready 15-30 minutes earlier than I needed, because he had plans. Well, I have plans just like they have plans. And he should have made them sooner. Half the time I don't understand what they're thinking when they make these requests. I spell it out pretty plain in my ad that I need advanced notice. Granted, he mentioned the site doesn't give much "user friendly" usage, but he also claims he's hired for many years. I reached out to RentMasseur and asked them to consider updating their site. Seems 99% of people are breezing thru my ad and going straight to the phone number, instead of wanting to know how to arrange with someone individually. Question for lookers: would YOU be available NOW to host or come to me, if I just randomly messaged you out the blue with 0 planning? I know the answer is going be no...but that's the point. Some of these people don't understand, if you can't do it, don't expect me to. It doesn't make any difference who has a paying ad or not. Basic consideration is required on both sides. All the "come over right now" stuff is very 90s and early 2000s. People come on these sites with the mentality of cruising for gay sex at a park. ESPECIALLY in the age of COVID. Most every business out here is appointment only. Even Walmart tire and lube is by appointment only now lol. How these guys not know this? Or just playing dumb and getting on my nerves 🤦🏽‍♂️

Well do you mind if I give YOU some "unsolicited" feedback? lol It sounds like you have good intent, but you may be coming off like a jerk about it. Just by calling him a "slick fucker" in itself, demeans the sex worker. What was this suggestion really for? Was it to say you didn't have a good time, or was it to better him and see him be a bit more successful? Because if it's the latter, you accomplished your goal. He probably assessed the advice, though unwarranted, and is trying to take it in stride versus taking it as a jab. And if you gave him some initial feedback, why follow up with more feedback later? And then you're going to go and tell/ask your "regular" provider about him? What more do you want? This reminds me of a client I met the other week. He was polite and fun, but he kind of went on and on about other escorts/massage guys he's hired. Including his partner, which he wanted to take a picture of me and send to him (I countered and gave him my biz card instead). I appreciate the comfort they find to talk about it, but at the end of the day: you don't really know this guy. You're not his father, or business manager, or advertising consultant. You're a client. If you're not trying to hire him again, don't berate him with advice...otherwise it'll just come off pushy and unappreciative. I think clients need to be mindful not to fall into a habit of being gossipy. It's okay to share and discuss a provider you're interested in, but some people really take it to a whole other level. Like one client in Kansas City annoyed me by talking about 3 other providers, and I've not even met him! And he's already not kept 1 of his appointment requests. Then he later tells me of an escort/porn guy who came to town, saying that he came by but didn't meet him. I didn't even bother responding to it, I just skirted the comment all together. This person who was in town had nothing to do with me or me meeting him, so why bring it up? Stuff like that makes me not only stop responding, but all together blocking them and putting on the DND list. When someone starts purposely and willfully wasting my time, they lose their place as clients, and simply become nuisances.

Let's create 2 threads in one: Who Pays For Parking when the escort travels out? I ask especially as I do a ton of outcalls. I also don't host much at home and prefer outcalls. However, I do cringe every so often (used to be a common occurrence in Orlando and Denver) I get invited to big posh hotel. Yes, I'm excited to see the architechture, and it's likely going to be a good booking. But some hotels and even residences (as I found out in kansas city the other day) obligate you to pay for parking. I've seen some upwards of $28 even for a couple of hours (Opry Nashville for example). Sure, I can commute to the client...but when it comes to parking I've resolved to often ask the client to lend me their key card, and I'll pull around to the lobby and give it back. One client in Chicago couple months ago, the overnight garage parking was like $50, and he had no problem validating the ticket on his room. Meanwhile, I had a client the other day who I feel maybe got upset at me...because as I was leaving the apartment building garage which he instructed me to park in, I couldn't get out unless I paid $5. Apparently, "validating" the ticket didn't make it free, it just made it $5 instead of $4 an hour. I called him a couple of times informing of it. And it was card only. He's like, "you don't have a credit card?" I know it was only $5, but I wasn't prepared to pay that...considering I wasn't aware that was the case. I would have more gladly picked up street parking if I needed to. $5 is a lot, considering the current gas prices have me putting in $25-30 and not getting but a few drops of the 91 my cars run on, and I live a good 125 mile round trip from downtown and do that commute 2-3 times a week. It would be 7 times a week, but half these fuckers don't give enough notice, or aren't serious about shit to begin with.

I'm not much of an uber guy but...this sounds pretentious. Your boss may expect you to get to the job site, but many companies once hired...will fly their already well-paid employees around, and pay their hotels and meal allowances. Those things come out of the escort's pocket so...yeah.

That’s so true! But sometimes baggage can be too much, and as we all learned from the late Aaliyah tragedy: that can cause 🛩💥 But I get the gist of what you’re saying though. What would you define as baggage? Past relationships? Or just general difficulties that someone faces? I can’t say what I do or don’t believe in, but I used to think holding off on sex would better help me find someone (outside of escorting). But, in Gay culture today that’s just very hard to come across. Usually if a guy isn’t trying to have sex with you, that often means there’s nothing there. However, there’s so many guys out here who go into dating situations like sex is REQUIRED, and that’s what is turning me away from dating. I’m not trying to be someone’s personal escort, as someone here once referred to dating being. I’ve dated guys where they not only want sex right when I walk in, but again the next morning and again the afternoon after that. It’s nice to feel wanted, but I’ve left some “dating” situations feeling like a used cum rag (not literally), versus someone who was developing an actual relationship. And as a sex worker, last thing I want is to be feeling my resources are being “sucked away” by dating someone.

Way too many variables at play here. Especially the "what are busiest days" as that can vary wildly. Though I can say: Friday's usually are consistently the most likely day of the week to get an appointment. If I don't get a booking any other day of the week, I can usually count on Friday. One Friday when I was visiting a city last month, I had 4!! appointments in one day. Almost a world record, but it was spread out evenly from 9 a.m. to midnight... so I had time to relax in between. However Friday in Kansas City seems to always be bookings wanting like before 4 or 5 pm, and I'm sometimes not available until Friday evening. As for competing for escorts time, like @Shawn Monroe said, no point in making up things in your head or thinking stuff that might not be true. People often think we're busy with clients only. Nope. You never know WHAT is going on. And I hate when prospective clients say stuff like, "sounds like you're busy, or your dance card is full" or anything that suggests they're getting impatient and assuming it's because I'm entertaining other clients. On a typical day, I could be doing anything from barbecuing on the patio, to detailing my vehicle, or standing in line at a store, or doing technical edits to my ad or other things, at the gym, the movies, the barbershop, with a friend, at a pool, sitting in traffic, driving, etc etc. Actually client sessions take up a very small percentage of my time spent each week. I'm not sitting in some boudoir with a window facing a busy street, just waiting for the next client. That's a stereotype. Online escorting has given us the freedom to not have to be constantly on the ready. However, lately it seems like I'm often always having to be plugged in: answering texts, RM messengers, round the clock. I'm not complaining to be in demand, but some days I feel like I don't get enough time to focus on myself, because as soon as I commit to an activity or project, a client will contact and want a visit. Which is great, but many don't do it with hardly any notice. It's just very bizarre. One guy contacted me today on RM messenger asking if I'm available tonight. Less than an hour later, he says he can't because a friend is flying in early so he couldn’t host (and I don’t host same day appointments). Understandable things happen, but I did take gym time out to correspond, so that is an unnecessary distraction without a productive outcome. That's why lately, I'm contemplating taking a step to no longer take same day appointments when I'm home locally. Travel wise it's okay, but not when I'm home. I can't stand to be rushed off my feet to meet when I'm at home, in the same manner as if I was traveling staying in a hotel.

I'm not even going to respond to this. Of course I'd hate to brag, but this person I've known since December and he usually doesn't give me less than 400-600 per encounter. And we meet very regularly. HOWEVER, and this may just be the self conscious in me...I hated the feeling that the people in the restaraunt could have been thinking that I was "taking advantage" of him by drugging him up. This is in a fairly prestigious part of town, at a fairly affluent restaraunt. Not a good look, and easy to see why I felt how I did. It wasn't the time or the place. 5 pm on a Sunday versus 1:30 a.m. at a gay bar are 2 different scenarios. You can expect a bit of intoxication at the latter, but the first one: that's just not. But again, I'm not beating the guy up for what happened...I'm just emphasizing why it's so important for it to NOT happen to begin with.

Yeah, even though I was very annoyed about the incident (and believe me it wasn't even close to some of the worst instances of gay drunkenness I've experienced and seen over the years lol) I still tried not to make him feel too bad. BUT, I did make sure to call him out on it, and even mentioned the same concerns. However he was gracious enough to apologize for everything, even though he couldn't even remember anything that happened...including the trip to the restaraunt. I told him that it's not even so much the alcohol, but moreso the mixing of things WITH alcohol that can lead to trouble. I suggested he stick with one thing or the other. Definitely not both, and with diligent moderation.

Okay, for the most part of your post you seem to have my back...but at the beginning it sounds like you're kinda slagging me off a bit. So I'll clarify: My good client/friend does NOT "tend" to lose control. This is actually the first time I've seen him get to this level. Which is good, because it's not a regular thing. Many guys (myself included over the years lol) have accidentally gone over the edge. I also wasn't "just thinking" about my professional image or embarrassment, but that was a by product of the situation. You missed the part when I said I left the restaraunt because I noticed he was dozing off at the bar, and that in itself is dangerous because I've had a friend (same one who is now deceased) who fell ass 1st off a barstool after dozing off at a bar. So immediately at that point, that's when I knew WE had to leave. Notice I said WE, because I was going to make sure he got home at-least. And I even stuck around afterwards as he dozed off almost immediately when we returned. I guess what got me so much about the whole thing, is it was like 5 pm, and he's an older guy. That IS embarrassing to be at an upscale restaraunt and everyone is White and they're looking at the one Black guy with some older White guy who is clearly inebriated. So you're goddamn right I'm going to be feeling more shame than concern for safety...regardless if I feel BOTH concerns at the same time. And we're still not sure how he cut his thumb. I'm hoping it wasn't at the bar while cracking lobster claws. Else that trail of blood would be even longer than from the car to the front door of the apartment.

All good points. Not to mention, I feel especially so in the “Black escort” community (not to insinuate there should be a fine line between the White and ethnic providers). Generally (and not speaking for you or me), I would imagine your average Black or perhaps non black escort doing relatively well for himself, is not going to feel it necessary to immerse themselves in an opinion and Q/A environment. Is it really conducive? Will it open the door to become a target? Not to mention, when guys are steadily posting photos of ripped White guys, and talking about White guys, where does an ethnic provider see a benefit in joining? Add to that, there’s a vast majority of providers who don’t take the industry seriously: some “drug” themselves thru bookings, and are high and strung out half the time. And this is based on fact. So, if they’re doing that, it’s unlikely they’ll find a reason to be in a seeing where they can conference with a bunch of clients for free. As for me: I stay because I like the networking aspect that is built here. I like reading other escort’s experiences, and getting client’s perspectives. I’ve made some good friends here. But I also been limiting my time as well because too much “noise” is distracting sometimes. There’s a euphoria in being completely tuned to my clients, and not always being in the know about what other guys are saying or doing. I think that’s partly why I’ve found it hard to keep interested in Twitter lately (which is where you WILL find far more providers conversing with clients/fans). Once my responsibility load settles down though, I’ll likely put more effort into different platforms.

This isn’t the predictable, “be safe when around escorts because they may rob, steal, give you bad service “ tip. But rather a recognition about how to keep in check any vices like drinking or “partying”, even the use of “video head cleaners”. Had a good client/friend last weekend have too much to drink, too early in the day, along with some other type of THC “goodies” (which I don’t do and have turned down every time he’s offered). We went out for happy hour at our favorite semi-fancy restaurant, and I didn’t realize how inebriated he was until we were already there. After about 30-45 minutes and a couple drinks between us both, he was really going over the edge. Very touchy feely, other patrons looking like what the heck is up with that guy, and at one point he seemed to almost dozed off at the bar. I immediately recognize, especially since he’s an older guy…this is a recipe for disaster and possible injury. So I flag down the waitress and get what’s left of the food to go. I felt very embarrassed and humiliated, not to mention: suppose a potential client sees me out, it almost gives an impression I’m “drugging“ my clients, which is a damaging look. To prove my suspicion, the waitress asks to make sure he isn’t driving 🤦🏽‍♂️ To make it worse, at some point between my client getting out of (the passenger side) of his car and going into the flat he lives, he cut his finger. Apparently there was so much blood that a neighbor called the janitor, and the janitor called the office and the office called the police. And guess who was the last person who was with him? Me. And I didn’t realize the stains I seen on the main entry door was his blood, the night before. Fortunately they contacted him, instead of me. But you can imagine how easily I’d of ended up being a suspect if he bled to death after I left. Even though he’s fully apologized and admitted that he needs to manage his drinking and “partying”, I’m still reeling because that could have really put me in a bad predicament. I had it already happen to a friend earlier this year: he overdosed on drugs, and his friends all pointed to the guy he used to “party” and go out with to blame, just because he was conveniently with him that night, and/or didn’t notice he was dead soon enough or call 9/11 sooner. So I guess the point I’m making is: if you’re going to engage in “extra” curricular activities: be sure to keep it manageable or abstain, because you don’t want an innocent provider being charged or suspected of contributing to any accidental wrong-doing. Unless said person doesn’t care about the implications that could be left behind.