JB_Studio38

Yah but he’s also exaggerating things. If I was billing every minute, I’d of literally had a 1800 number by now. And he can talk all that noise, but I look around and see other guys likely dealing with the same thing. I’ve noticed half of the Saint Louis and Kansas City markets have fell off. Other markets in the area have the same guys “available now” and the same “clients” playing games and wasting time. He’s not fooling anyone. And like I told him, some of these idiots don’t get it until I pull out all the stops. It’s easy to sit around and berate someone for taking big steps to remedy a situation, but unless he wants me to post a bunch of text messages here PROVING what I see on a week to week basis, he ought to just reconsider his “opinions” about why I do things the way I do.

I see what you’re saying, but I disagree with your perception. I’m not “billing” every minute. As I stated before, the is more of a case where I’m taking time out to arrange bookings, and some out there are not following thru. What you need to do, instead of trying to criticize and dictate how I should handle things, is understand the circumstances from my point of view. Try that first. The stuff you talked about with the guy in Vegas showering with you overtime, GREAT. Who said I haven’t/wouldn’t do that? I’m not even talking about in person meets. I’m talking about BEFORE meets occur. For example: since I’ve gotten back to my local market (which I admit is not a very lucrative one), all of the inquiries (3) who’ve contacted me have either cancelled or just not shown at all. So in that case, what am I supposed to do going forward? For each client who didn’t show up, that’s been atleast an hour of free convo. What you want me to do, is carry on doing stuff without being paid. I’ve done that already. I wouldn’t be doing it, if it had worked previously before. How about you consider that logic. Why am I doing? Because the other way wasn’t working. And similar like I said about taking private pics down: my level of calls didn’t suffer at all. That was like 5-6 months ago. Don’t mistake me talking about wanting things to be better, to imply that I’m not benefiting myself. I have a right to do biz as I choose. I already did the no deposits, and having naked pictures all over my ads. Guess what? It was the same shit. It didn’t work. And the extra holiday protocol is necessary too because last year and the year before, all I was dealing was with people calling me wasting my time, and putting me in a bad mood in the holiday season. I don’t need that again.

The sad part is; I find that this time of year even regulars/repeats have potential to flake. This is also a time I find myself burning bridges the most. I don’t really give 2nd chances much. If a new client or regular flakes/doesn’t show and doesn’t send a cancellation fee, it’s over. Unless there’s a really good reason behind it, and most don’t. That’s not me being a dick. And I understand things come up, and I would want others to have the same level of forgiveness for me as well. But over the years, I very rarely find a person who cancels dates/appointments on the day of, to suddenly become a reliable person. Just had 1 today who flaked out, who’s been asking to meet again each time he comes to town, but I’ve usually been away. He reached out to me again last week. Now that he’s here, he says he can’t make it work. Well, sorry that is the case but I was given an expectation that I would be doing a session today. I still need to be paid, it’s not fair that I don’t.

That’s a case by case question. If you ask a guy who’s in a lucrative market, doesn’t have to deal with a whole lot of BS, and/or isn’t really reliant on whether clients show or not: you may can concur the above. I probably do have more problems as an escort/masseur, advertising in a market where segregation, poverty/frugalness, and “Bible thumping” is still happening. Is that any shock to anyone? However, in my experience working side by side other guys I’d say no. I’ve actually seen worse. Some guys don’t really care though. Clients are a numbers game to them. They likely have other jobs and doing this just as a side hustle. Once they get their money, they just move on to the next. They aren’t invested in making client/escort relations better as a whole, they just want to make their bottom line. But this isn’t about other escorts, this about doing what I need to do, to make it thru. It’s like jobs out there that are commission based: you still have to pay employees regular minimum wage. I actually won a case against a company years ago because of that. I worked for them for a week and a half, and didn’t get any “sales”. They tried to not pay me anything, until I got the labor board involved. Same way it’s going to be with clients going forward.

Lol, that’s a good one to do (if there’s many in existence? Though I have a collection of old porn that has some cheesy 1-800 numbers at the start of the video 😆 Some of these guys come off very cunning with it. They give me just enough info to make me feel like they are going to pan out, then come with the, “okay, I have to check on this, that and the 3rd with my brother, sister, cousin, husband, neighbor, etc etc” They act like they’re making tentative plans with a friend. I don’t know them like that, to be casually having conversations that lead to nowhere. You do that with friends who you have some credit with already. They don’t know me. Who the do they think I am? I was telling someone yesterday, I will not rebook him in the future if he can’t keep the session. He goes from asking me if I can visit him at hotel in a city that’s an hour away (which he hadn’t even booked and apparently was just an idea), to saying his cousin wants him to stay with him instead, so he can’t make it. The hell that has to do with me? If you making plans with me, make them with me…not everybody else. I even came to realization the other week, that I’m not even going to prioritize “clients” (bullshitters) in my travel plans anymore when it’s related to friends or family. I’ve missed out on things because of lowlife, inconsiderate clients messing me about, and it ends up messing up my plans in the process. I’m not allowing that anymore.

I’m definitely considering, but I did just get home from a 2 week tour last week. But my local markets in the Midwest have been trash. I’m going to have to work in a spontaneous trip between the next 2 and a half weeks before Christmas. My piggy bank and my patience are running very low. This time last year, it was almost identical. However, part of the issue right now with traveling is the expenses are really high. I don’t do much or any flying, but gas prices have really been stifling. It’s worse in the major cities than it is in the rural areas, so it can be avoided to a degree. But also too, hotels have also been running higher than last year. So despite traveling being a great idea, I can’t really start a trip until I make enough at home. That’s the part where it can get really stuck and frustrating: I want to travel/tour but I have to make sure I have enough to do so comfortably, and be sure people are SERIOUS before I arrive. Hence the reason for deposits. Going to a city like NYC and SF isn’t cheap. I’ll need to arrive with atleast $400 of “free” spending money for hotel/dining/incidentals before my first client, and that’s after the initial travel expense/1st day of hotel to get there. Which is why I reiterate: I don’t have time any more….to be engaging with guys without payment. It’s time to start making $25/inquiry even when I’m not meeting in person. All the chatting for free BS, is a waste of fresh air.

I have to mention: I was being slightly facetious in the wording, and it’s not stated in that way verbatim. That was just a simplified version. The way I am saying it is: “Due to the usual increase in Timewaster’s and game players during the holidays, and the fact that I am not in a place where I can allow people to continually BORROW FROM MY LIMITED EMOTIONAL PIGGY BANK, I am asking that all clients start with a small initial payment ($25) during their first contact. I’m not asking for $50,000. I also included: I am not making exceptions for other guys you booked not showing up. What does that have to do with me? I have 40 good reviews on RentMen and 11 on RentMasseur. I can’t carry the burden of what another escort who has nothing to do with me, did to you. I even told a client I previously met this. He contacted me and asked to send him a couple pics. I stopped him right there and explained: “if you want me to do that, it’s going to be $25.” And I explained to him that I cannot keep lending out time/pics/attention for free, when I’m not being given any guarantee of an appointment. I’ve not had a booking since last Monday (not counting my trusted “sponsor” who lives in town). That’s a whole week plus a weekend without any serious bookings, meanwhile I’ve got bills and expenses coming in. What makes anyone think I’m just going to sit and smile thru this, and not take it upon myself to do ANYTHING to improve the circumstances? You can ask me those questions, but what I want to know is: well what about the ones who are paying nothing yet clogging up my phone lines? That’s not just lost money: that’s lost time, energy, and unnecessary disappointment. I refuse. I refuse. I refuse. What some also don’t understand: certain markets you HAVE to carry out such drastic tactics because the clients are so difficult. There’s some cities where I don’t ever have to worry about asking for a deposit. They’ll either send it without question, or show up without me requiring one. Other places, I have to constantly keep my guard up and be on their asses about keeping appointments and sending one. It’s the same shit I tell people when I’m in hotels. If I only booked a room for 1 night, but they want to show up after checkout time…I need a deposit. If they want to dick around and not send one, guess what? I’m checking out and either going home or going to my next destination. I did the same thing in Atlanta last week, and glad I did. Guy kept saying, “idk how my day is going to turn out”. I told him: well then YOU get a hotel, because I’m not about to drop another $130 for somebody who can’t make up their mind. And it’s situations like that: that I need to be paid for. Even Bobby Blake said it in his biography, he was making porn studios pay him even when the other model didn’t show. It’s all about RESPECT.

I’m not stopping window shoppers, baby. Let’s be clear on that. What’s being displayed on the ads is plenty enough to “window shop” with. That’s not the problem. The issue is, if I sit around all week responding to messages, and then at the end of it…wondering where’s the earning from it? You say I don’t stand a chance, but I’ve been doing it all along. I took my private pics down, people doubted that and guess what? Still was getting bookings. I put “a couple” back up only because I felt like it. But I’m still charging for my private gallery. If it people aren’t lined up to buy, atleast I know I’m not giving it away for free to people who have 0 intent on meeting and paying for a visit. My private gallery is not for complimentary usage, it’s a an extended window into what I already have out. And yes, I absolutely do feel that way. I have a right to. Instead of getting unnecessarily defensive, take a moment to look at it from my point of view. Maybe as a non-escort, you can’t envision it. This isn’t about me being intolerant or a bitch by any means. This is simply saying: you need to show ahead of time that you are INVESTED in my time. If you just playing around, and expecting me to give immediate attention and start sending pics out with no real guarantee of getting a booking…keep it moving. I just had TWICE this weekend, my time interrupted to reply to a client who clearly had no intention of showing up. And did I get paid for it? No, but I’m going to cut that shit right now.

That’s hardly enough though. I have my liquid weed in the form of wine, but that only goes so far. Plus I’m trying to lean up and avoid the holiday extra 15 pounds (not that I gain that much, but even 5 pounds can make a difference). I’ve already put a notice in my profile and will be sending a screen shot to every client who contacts me. STOP 🛑 Don’t proceed without reading! $25 Payment due within 2 messages! I don’t have time or patience to deal with idiots. They want to play me like a fucking receptionist, I better goddamn be getting paid like one. $25/hr or per text conversation. Hopefully that’ll keep the nonsense to a minimum and I can ride this holiday out in solace.

Well, like I said: it was most likely due to some tattle tell on the site who reported my profile after messaging me and receiving a pre-written template of my donations. But like I said, any other time since 2018 that has not been an issue. I think someone got mad after my ad had expired for a day and reported me, and perhaps A4A thought I was trying to earn biz without paying for the ad. They have agreed to reinstate it tomorrow though. I do have a couple of clients who’ve reached out wondering what happened.

Wait. Who is “everyone”? Are you sending a blanket email to a bunch of guys or trying to hone down one? And when you say book for tomorrow: in a city like New York, I imagine it’s more of a “right now” brigade of guys. Also are you contacting them directly by phone or over the RentMen app? The latter, I leave a permanent auto responder on for that reason. And until RentMen gives us a payment for having a conversation with us, it’ll remain that way. Until then, I’m going to charge them myself. I have 0 time for bullshit mother fuckers.

Yup, and now he’s blocked me after I sent an Apple Pay request of $35 for wasting my time over the course of an hour and a half. I’m not playing anymore games with these duds. They better come with deposit in hand before the conversation even starts. I’m shutting the nonsense DOWN.

I just updated the post to reflect even moreso the level I’m at right now. I feel the only way to handle this at this point is to just require everybody to make a payment upfront before even discussing a session. Just this weekend already had 2 inquiries play games and just leads to nowhere. They always want to use the excuse of inquiring and getting information, but all of that is already listed in the ads. Last thing I want to do during a time that I’m already going thru things, is sit around and bullshit with a bunch of lowlives who have nothing better to do than use us as free entertainment. Why does anyone think, somebody would enjoy talking to a client, thinking “oh great, I have a client today”…only to be told, “oh I can’t make it work today, because of blah blah blah” (shit that could have been figured out BEFORE contacting me). I’m not giving anymore leeway. They can either pay for my time arranging a visit or leave me the fuck alone and don’t get a session. PERIOD! 😤

My problem with sending pics is that people abuse the privilege. That’s why I don’t send them. Like just today: a client contacts me from RentMasseur asking to send him pics and asking if mine are “actually me” (like a red flag in the making). I redirect him to my ad and reviews. Then he’s asking for a hard pic, which I decline because if he’s discreet and married like he says he is, why would I want to be sending out pictures to his phone? And he sends me a pic, but it’s only chin down. We spent an hour texting about arranging a session, then he says he can’t do it because of blah blah blah that should have been figured out before he reached out to me. That’s exactly why I don’t send out pics.

Well, I reached back out to them again and broke it down. I told them that just because I send a message that discusses sessions, non of it is verbatim “illegal sex for money”. They’re simply buying in to what some bum with a free profile getting mad, because they hit me up and I told them I’m for pay. They agreed to reinstate my profile, but going forward I’m making sure every person who contacts, texts me 1st before I send any info on rates going forward.

I agree 100%. And rightfully so. However, the point I was making is: a client (or forum person) shouldn’t be flabbergasted at the mere question of a pic, considering it’s fairly easy to pull out an iPhone and take one…not even with your full face, but neck/chin down, at least. Which many who are very discrete may do. And 1 other question: why do clients ask us for pics when we’ve already got them up? All in all I don’t think it’s a big concern. I’m also not particular about needing a pic from a client, but many volunteer to send one anyway.

Why would a client send a provider a pic without us asking? Happens all the time. That said, it’s 2021. The whole “I’m too discreet to send a pic” is so 2001. It’s not that you MUST send a pic, but many clients out here are sending/including pics anyway. RentMen allows clients to create profiles and include pics. That also goes back to what I was saying about Adam4Adam. Despite it being an inefficient site, it does allow providers to have a better idea of who’s on the other side of the call. I don’t require pics, but my philosophy is this: if you can see what I look like on a ad, I shouldn’t have to meet a client not knowing “anything” about them. It’s more than just a Preference thing, it’s a security thing. If we reverse the story here, it would probably do good for a provider to at least have some idea of who they’re meeting beforehand

As some may know, A4A has a section for providers…but it’s limited to “massage” only. I’ve advertised there for years, but my current profile I’ve had since about 2018. Recently, my pro membership expired…but I had forgotten that I needed to renew. So, the other night I logged in and seen lots of responses. I sent my template out with my service as I usually do, but apparently it must have been to guys who seen my profile in the non-pro state, and I must have got reported. I received an email saying I’ve been suspended for “illegal activity”. I wrote to them that I wasn’t thrilled about it, considering I’ve been a supporting member for at least 3 years. Also didn’t imply anything illegal, but I guess they felt differently. As much as I find use for the site, I also feel being on there is a waste of time. I may get a single client over the course of an entire “tour” (that’s visiting cities over a week or 2). But most times, it’s just people wasting time and BSing. I even got a separate number for that site, to keep track of when I receive texts and to also not display my main ad number, as there’s more often than not, trolls that be on the site. But for the most part: nearly every city I visit, I seldom get bookings from A4A. Despite it only being $30 and likely to be made back, sometimes it’s more of the mental cost involved that isn’t worth it. It’s similar to how backpage, HourBoy and Craigslist were: sure you’d get some clients, but at the end of the day: what is it to only get 1 or 2 bookings over the course of a month? That said: I did meet a pretty good client from it couple weeks ago. That’s what makes me continue to post on it for many years. But when the site is catering to tattle tells instead of making it a useful platform, that’s where I really doubt continuing to support it.

This is an unfortunate story, however I’ve been in this situation at times. I hate to say sometimes you gotta kinda “go with the flow”, but sometimes a situation can make you feel like you rather run before you actually get a feel for it. That said, I just had a situation like that last week in Georgia, and the client had the nerve to bitch at ME and write a review. Long story short, he dicked me around for 3-4 hours the morning I was due to check out of my hotel, then when I paid extra to extend, he still didn’t show up. I offered to instead go to his place since he was saying he was “on his way” 30 minutes before the 3 p.m. checkout time I arranged. Even offering that I could “stay with him” When I went to his place, he came out shirtless (in broad daylight in a suburban subdivision). He dithered around in the garage, then wasn’t showered when I arrived (his statement). Sheets weren’t on the bed. I proceeded to get my massage/lotion bin out…but he turned on some wicked themed porn and wanted to mess around orally. Also, I step out the room to use the bathroom, there’s some guy walking from the kitchen to the living room who looked grungy and high and I had NO IDEA he was there. After an hour and about 20 minutes, I needed to go meet with family, and so did he. Before I arrived to his place, HE offered to let me stay at his place (which I declined having never met him before). However, we were supposed to had met later that night after our family events. I was texting and calling him and getting no answer. Later in the night, after I got back to my hotel: he started sending me all these text talking about I didn’t even give him a massage, that I scammed him, wasn’t worth it and blah blah blah. I’m like dude, I waited for your fucking ass all morning to show up to my hotel AND then came to his place and he wasn’t prepared at all. Then he held me up giving the other part of the payment (I had him cash app me $100 before going to his place because he had already kept me waiting long enough). I posted a alert on him, and I guess he seen it and went to put a report on me. Even saying, “I’m going to slam your fucking face into the ground” (good try). And no surprise: this was an Adam4Adam client. I once again question the merits of dealing with clients from there. Most of them are fine, but every so often a risky one pops up. 1 is too many. Even though I didn’t immediately feel in danger like the poster here described, it still was a headache to deal with, and the client certainly seemed to be on something. I guess moral of the story: there’s 2 sides to every story. I’m not doubting the experience the client here had, but I’d be interested (not) to hear the side of the provider in this situation. “You don’t want to fight me” sounds a bit forward. There has to be more…

Yeah I’m pretty familiar with Milwaukee. Only trouble with traffic I’ve had there is the snow and craters/sinkholes in the road😆 beyond the small stretch of 94 that goes into downtown can get a little jammed at times. Next time I go between Nashville and Florida, I’m just going to either take the Nashville down to Birmingham route…or let Atlanta be my overnight stop (versus Chattanooga which is not worth shit to try and catch clients in, I’ve come to realize). it’s not just Chattanooga either. When I lived in Nashville and would travel to DC or west to Little Rock on i40, there was ALWAYS (without fail) some debilitating back up with no way to exit. That state is similar to Missouri which occasionally has similar backups: they’re so fucking stupid to only have 2 lanes on a major east-west highway system that’s a gateway for many, and then also the locals drive like they got their driver’s license from the 3 stooges. It’s horrible. Georgia and Florida learned long time ago that you need 3 (and preferable 4) lanes of traffic on the interstate, if you want to attract a lot of tourists to the area. Missouri and Tennessee are behind and still struggling with development…so backups never cease.

Exactly. But on my way out of the downtown going north last Sunday, it was pretty smooth sailing. The problem traffic came when I hit Chattanooga. Idk what’s up with that town but it seems to also have stalled traffic and accidents. Seems you have to go after midnight to be in the clear. I’m currently in the Midwest, but with the exception of Chicago and Saint Louis, you can usually detour around it. But the caveat with the Midwest in comparison to Atlanta is: it gets very tired and sleepy here in the Fall and Winter. Even though Atlanta isn’t my taste in a city, I appreciated the liveliness and the fact that it seemed like people (especially men of color but also others) desired to be there. In Kansas City and St. Louis, many in the Gay community just talk about wanting to relocate elsewhere. There seems to just be no zest or aspiration in these parts.

+100 about Atlanta!! It was nice to connect with @Shawn Monroe in Atlanta last month as a 2nd half of the holiday weekend. I haven’t done the gay nightlife in Atlanta so it’s good to know someone who knows the city (I often travel solo, and Atlanta seemed intimidating, despite me having done Dallas, LA, Miami, SF and DC clubs in the past). However, Atlanta messed me up TWICE with traffic and parking. On the way to Florida, it took 2 hours longer than planned to get to Florida, because despite me driving thru the city a few hours before Friday rush hour traffic, traffic from Chattanooga to at-least an hour south of downtown Atlanta was still jammed. I wish there was a TRUE by-pass route (instead of the equally congested 285) to get to Florida from up north. Like actually build an “out of state tags only” highway that goes thru Atlanta with no entrances for city folk lol. While actually visiting Atlanta, my car got hit with 2 boots while parking in midtown. Apparently I had no idea that the street parking set up is designed to be obscure and no warnings are given out. Just automatic immobilization. It was horrible. That said: I avoid downtown hotels 99% of the time. The only time I’ll do downtown hotels is a place like Phoenix, Salt Lake City, Denver…western cities. BUT even then, I’ll ensure it’s a free parking hotel. Paying for parking is #1 why I avoid downtown. For $25 I rather buy breakfast. Why pay for parking when I’m already paying for gas and hotel anyway. So you’ll very rarely catch me staying downtown. I’ll usually stay the closest proximity to downtown without being there. Some cities don’t make that easy, others like Dallas with market center and Park central neighborhoods make that very convenient.

I probably talk about this every year, but every year maybe different. But we’ve made it Thru 2 holidays so far. I count Halloween+thanksgiving because there’s often a lull leading up to Halloween also. But despite all the “Happy, happy, joy, joy” that’s constantly pushed this time of year, I often feel myself waiting for it to end. It’s not that I don’t like holidays, food and the season…but with sex work I feel things are unpredictable. I may get a couple or few good clients, but the usual pattern is just a drab pace day by day. And to throw salt on the mood, Timewaster types seem to come out the woodwork AND more guys seem to pop up overnight. For example: the days before and during Thanksgiving: I was only averaging 1 client every other day/per location I was visiting. Not dire, but certainly not beating records either. The ideal solution would be to get some part time holiday job, but every year never happens. I find myself busy enough September, October, and first half of November. But after Thanksgiving/Black Friday, I just find things grind to a halt. May get some hits on maybe the 2nd/3rd week of December, but then drags on again until after New Years. And it almost never fails, every holiday season I have some double unexpected expense, and anything I tried to save up is spent well before Christmas. So Black Friday and Christmas gifts don’t generally happen. BUT, I am grateful this year because I’ve already purchased all of my needed electronics over the summer, so there’s really not much I need anyway 😆 But yah, it’s depressing. Fortunately I’ve started counseling so, maybe that’ll help in some ways.

Bump..

Wow, what town in Wisconsin is that? I’ve been traveling there for years and gone to some of the more rural areas. I don’t feel it’s any imminent danger to go to the rural areas. I mean there’s the likelihood of being pulled over (I was once stopped 3 times in 24 hours traveling between Milwaukee and some rural parts, but for odd reasoning). That said: I would say this, racism in the industry isn’t always as “Black and White” as ”not liking” a person. It can come in different forms. Even a client who likes an escort of color, may be racist in ways that seem cordial at first.