JB_Studio38

I’ll also say: I feel tipping is especially appreciated because you don’t always know when a provider could have his next client. For example: today is Tuesday night. My last bookings were last Tuesday night, Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon (3 separate bookings). I was feeling on a winning streak! I might of had a booking Friday, but the “client” was not following instructions to text or call me. And he’s in a hotel messaging me on Adam4Adam. I have a strict stance that I do not meet any clients who can’t furnish a phone number. On top of that, the more he messaged me on Adam, the further away I was going because he had contacted me as I was driving past the particular town he was in. When he finally offered a deposit, I was already 40 miles away. I was not about to turn back around, meet him, and then turn back around again to my destination. In that case a big tip would have been expected. But the point being: my last visit gave a nice tip. However that was the last visit I’ve gotten. I can imagine a decent restaurant waiters going for tips, knows that there’s going to be business everyday that they’re open. We on the other hand, things can be going great, and then just go bottoms up over the course of a week/weekend.

Definitely valid points. Ditto with the part about guys doing it for attention and drama. Even though, it seems odd that they’d like the drama, considering many seem to get extreme defensive if I call them out. It’s almost like: they want to find reasons to fight with escorts/masseurs. And I believe it, 100%. Because if they didn’t, they would do the right thing to begin with. Why do something that’s going to possibly upset or make someone feel unimportant. For a minute, I thought I would let go of dating and the gay scene and devote most of my sex and attention to clients. But now, I feel I have to revert back the opposite direction: Some clients can be great lovers or even friends. But like I told a client the other day who was impressed that I really seemed into it, there’s escorts out there who don’t take this seriously. And there’s also clients out here who don’t take us seriously. So you’re left with a bunch of people who aren’t taking anyone seriously. At this point I’m ready to get back out there and start dating. But this may mean biz will have to take a back seat. That’s where it starts to get tricky. And seems far too many clients can’t seem to think much further than a few minutes in advance…

Unfortunately (and fortunately 😂) I’ve already sent dismissals to a couple of clients. One responded with a genuine apology and explanation, the other 2 as predicted: didn’t reply. Why would they? They didn’t reply previously so no expectation to do so later. Part of the reason I’m doing it is to quit hanging onto prospects, thinking they’re going to do better the next time around. If they can’t do right the first couple of times, why should I leave the door open for more and more possibilities? I want to give them more chances, but the fact some of these guys don’t bother to respond…proves that they aren’t with the effort. If a guy doesn’t know that they set the expectation that there is a session arranged with a provider they contacted…I can’t help them.

Why?

I just talked myself into a brilliant idea! I’m going to write my own client dismissal form. Let me know what y’all think: Hey (insert name), it’s Jarrod. I was doing my weekly client log, and noticed you don’t seem interested. At this time, I must inform that I will no longer be accepting future booking requests from you. Unless you wish to reimburse me minimum (insert expense) for my time, your number will be blocked/deleted after 24 hours of this message.

Going based on a disclaimer I seen at my dentists office on clients who cancel more than once or don’t pay the cancellation fee. In my case, there’s a couple of clients who I have put on my blocked list this week. 1 was a previously met client, another had tried to book me previously twice. I just have an issue with some clients that they’ll do an appointment on the spot…when they want it, but anytime I try to schedule them for a convenient time, they flake or have an excuse why they can’t meet. Or worse, just no response at all. I’m just so tired and developing zero tolerance for inconsiderate types. I had already told one regular client who dicked me around (and will regularly do it), that I will no longer be taking anymore bookings from him. But instead of me getting upset and arguing with them, I’m trying to just work more on blocking them. However, I wonder if it may be better to just inform them that I no longer want to do business with them, and to not contact me again at any point in the future…unless they are willing to reimburse me the full agreed upon fee for not following thru. But of course, this leads to arguments because a select few clients like to lie to themselves that they never made an appointment…when in fact, there was an expectation set that one was going to take place. Otherwise, why would I be feeling the least slighted over it? Grateful for the good clients…But one thing I won’t hesitate to do if I forget to block them, is if they do come back around; whether a month or a year later, is tell them: last time you did something that I felt was inconsiderate, we need to have a chat about why this is the case, and make sure it doesn’t happen again. I keep all of my text conservations with clients, that way if I forget and they contact me 2 years later, I’ll be able to reference if they didn’t follow thru on plans that were agreed on.

Thankyou! Nailed it. Like @Benjamin_Nicholassaid, it is good to strive to get to a place where your rate is sufficient enough to not “hang around” for tips. HOWEVER, I have clients who tip all the time. I don’t put down those who don’t, but I also don’t expect it. I just let it happen. My thing is: I once worked in a trust bank and would file accounts. When I seen the amount of money these people had in their account, it’s not going to hurt them to pass over an extra $50-$100. Heck, an extra $5,000 wouldn’t hurt some, but…gay (especially non-White) male escorts have been getting paid far less as escorts than White female escorts for a long time. Once I’m making White woman money, then I can say no to a tip lol. But I don’t even consider it a “tip”. I consider it a contribution to an independent person who’s in biz. And I’m immensely grateful. It may not be $5,000…but hell, this past week I’ve had 2 guys giving 300-400 per session, and adding extra. I used to go week by week taking 100 and 150 sessions, and just profiting nothing. Nowadays, or at least at this point of my experience: I’m glad that most of my visits are atleast 250. But like @Rod Hagensaid also, I feel there’s constantly a drain on my funds. As a traveling escort, I’m not just spending money every day, I’m spending it multiple times a day/week. It’s like, there’s always a bill due, an ad or 2 due, gas (and at these prices, it’s been like $30-40 every day or 2 that I’m spending on gas because I’m going to different areas), hotels, etc. It’s easy to end up in the red. And generally, even after having a good week or couple weeks, the longest I can take a break and be okay is about a week. I’ve only been okay taking 2 weeks off when the stimulus checks were being handed out. But the thing is, when I’m not traveling, I usually do go a week without having a client, because my home market is so shitty. That said: I could have a $1,000 stack sitting right next to me, and it may seem like I’m ahead…but in reality I have to watch like a Hawk because it can go faster than I think. I tip at restaurants, but some of my friends may occasionally tip $50-$100, one guy even tipped $200 to a waitress. And that’s their choice, I stick with tipping off the percentages. I’ve bussed tables before, so I understand the business, but I also got out of it once I seen the smoke and mirrors. I was making tips off the waitresses. And it really wasn’t much at all because they got the bigger cut. But why should I even take their cut? I would have preferred a set amount when I walked thru the door. So lately, I just try to keep it all in perspective. I rarely do dates with guys anymore (even though I’m starting to want to get back into dating again, but so many are just in it for the thrill, nothing serious). When I do go to restaurants, my friends have to understand how my money goes…meaning just because I have it, doesn’t mean I’m covering everybody’s check. I also had a previously met client the other day offer to get me a hotel room, but he’d want to subtract a portion from my donation. I’m like dude, we can do it, but I’m not agreeing to a flat rate less amount. I’d take some off, depending on what he’s wanting. Which would of been $50 off. He wanted a whole $100 discount. Ironically enough: he never went thru with it, but yet I had 2 clients, 2 nights in a row who did the same thing, and did not discount my donation. Swallow that.

How about you take this same message and send it to Grindr. Maybe then they won’t be so fucking trigger happy to ban people who simply tell members they are a paid provider 🤔 And like mentioned, they need to offer a paid provider section. Some guys are just bitches. What can they possibly get out of blocking and reporting someone? They act as if I came knocking on their door or hit them up first. I know exactly who did it too, but it’s like: they not hurting me honestly. Plus, with Craigslist and backpage gone, there’s just so much hits from my ads…I rarely have time for Grindr. On top of that, I’m meeting decent looking guys from my ads just in the same. They may not be my “type” or exactly what I’d go for, but it’s not exactly a beauty contest. what gets me are all the quasi bi/guys out there who contact our ads. It’s becoming a new fantasy for me. However, the downside is many of these guys can’t sustain any type of off clock friendship. Even trying to get them to keep a booking can be a challenge

I’ve done it before myself, here and there. Like if I knew the guy or we chatted for awhile or had a biz venture in mind. It’s just not something I do all the time though. Some escorts get frustrated with me because I don’t just be like up and ready to fuck when they want me to. I’m like dude, how the fuck you trying to boss me around and tell me when and where to be, this isn’t an appointment. If they trying to do a free hookup, they need to be willing to compromise and find out when a time works best for me. I had one guy in Tampa ask me to meet and make a JFF video, and we had been chatting over the months. But he wanted me to come at 10 am sharp. Because he was too busy and it was all about him. For extenuating reasons, I told him I couldn’t do that…but a later meet or later in week would work. Never ended up meeting. So lately, I’ve not been pressed to meet with too many other escorts. And then one client all texting me the other week, talking about how nice and sweet another escort that I know, is. I was like, ummm…yeah but he’s also a bit abrasive and quick to force his opinions on others…so don’t have to convince me about someone who you pay, because that’s not behind the scenes.

Elaborate what you mean confusing rentmen with Grindr? Like…hooking up with other escorts? I totally get it too. Grindr banned me because some Pansy blocked and reported me, for sending him my Rentmen and business card with no rates on it (which I occasionally have done and picked up a client here and there…always when THEY hit me up first). I don’t have time for that either. Who has time for a site that promotes prostitution, but you can’t exchange money for it??? lol. I mean…the way people ask to send nudes and have partners who don’t (or do) know they’re on there, it’s everything like an escort site.

Well…I was talking behind champagne and a couple of drinks last night after leaving a party that a client hosted, where a couple of people tentatively suggested looking into moving to the area. I can’t vouch and say I’d for sure be open to make that move. I was just in Chicago back in May, and I actually did enjoy myself and the clients I came across. But idk, Chicago is TOO much of a city for me (even though there’s tons of suburbs in Chicago that are like their own small town, which I did enjoy) Visiting is okay but it doesn’t seem like an easy place to get started independently. It’s an old city, rife with competition, and even though you don’t “need” a car in Chicago, I would definitely want to keep mine…but long as I don’t live in the city city of Chicago, it won’t be too expensive. That said, smaller markets can definitely offer more opportunities: less bullshitters and higher donations. But not always, and it varies state by state, town by town. Most small markets in Missouri are wastelands, but Kansas City and Saint Louis RentMen have far more escorts than there are reliable clients hiring. I’m not going to share my secrets online…but the small markets I like aren’t simply big cities with a small town/escort population. I’m talking wealthy, fairly remote enclaves far from the big cities that many guys don’t know about, but clients often “inspire” me to visit them.

Sounds interesting, but to be honest: I’m so over Kansas City. I’m not even there right now lol. I just don’t really like the scene there, there’s some nice guys here and there…but majority of gay guys I’ve met in KC come off nice on the surface, but are bitches when getting to know them. The client scene is rife with flakes, no shows, and the “unreliable regular.” I’m actually considering moving to Arkansas and met some people who could get me in the right direction if I want to.

All good points. Idk how I feel these days. Some days (or even hour by hour) I’m riding high and confident, other times…I’m just so over people’s (clients) fucking bullshit. Like, I try to understand and be flexible. It’s a daunting task for guys to see a provider. Or sometimes people get busy or whatever the case may be. But goddamn, some clients can be such BAD COMMUNICATORS. Even previously met, actually good natured clients can do things that annoy me to an extent where I’m just like, I’m going to block you. I have 3 people right now on “block row” who I’m just debating if I could just go ahead and do it. But I try not to be a prick or burn bridges because I’ve done that too much lately. Like just tonight, someone pissed me off. I told him earlier: I arrived to town, but I’m currently at a event, what time are you looking to arrange tonight? He says no rush and he’s open for rest of night. I text him later that I’m headed to the hotel now and if he can meet me in an hour: he says he can’t meet because of early meetings tomorrow. I said, I asked you earlier what time you can meet, and you never specified you needed to meet by a certain time. If time was constrained, he should have said something either at that moment, or followed back up with me to mention it was getting late and he needed to meet by a certain time. Why do I have to fucking think for these guys and ask: IS THERE ANYTHING GOING ON TODAY OR TOMORROW THAT I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT??? So as I started to check into my hotel tonight for my 1st night on travel tour, I started to say to myself: I quit. I’m done. Knowing I can’t do that now, but I’m just so over it. And then in my local market, had 2 prospective clients reach out: neither followed thru. Some clients expect us to always be available the same day they contact us. Sometimes I am, but most of the times: Don’t expect it. Then, it gets to a point where I feel I can never say no to a booking because if I try to schedule it for the next day, they’ll say yes: and then have some excuse as to why they can’t make it…which again: I understand things come up. It does on both sides. But I feel more like it’s a sign of just them not taking the interaction with much value, just if they are in the mood that moment, but no regard to the fact that we may actually have a life away from RentMen and RentMasseur sometimes. It’s like being forced to take a booking the day and moment it comes in, because if I don’t…it may not happen.

Do you feel having friends among clients/other providers is more or less better than having those outside of the industry? I feel like hookup apps no longer serve a purpose for me. I think about “free time” and the idea of hooking up with guys my type from time to time, but I feel like I have enough interest and inquiries to ads, that I don’t have as much free time as it would appear. It seems like the quality of many gay interactions beyond clients and “good as close” friends just doesn’t interest me anymore. Particularly new ones. I’ve gone thru so much and so many changes over the past year. Friends and fuck buddies who I thought were good people, turned out not to be. I feel I’m at a place where I’m ready to devote my entire sex and social life exclusively around sex work. Is there others out here who can relate, or still recommend to keep a social life outside of clients, etc? For example, I currently have 3 friends who are clients. Sometimes we have sessions, sometimes we don’t. But we still spend time at their house, however they are either 1.5 or 2 years my senior…so they aren’t into the nightlife and social mingling as much as I am, except for when it’s to do with their work or close friends and family. Some client friends I’ve come across tend to be in bed by like 9 or 10 p.m. And that’s when I want to seek out regular gay social circles. But it’s almost always about drugs, excess drinking, and people’s egos and drama. Not always the most productive scene to be around. Not to mention, it’s just so much façade on the apps. Just in the last year, I’ve had 2 guys I come across go ghost, and I reach out down the line to tell me they are/were in a relationship. It’s like, why waste my time on the lies and bullshit? The vast majority of guys from hookup apps I fuck one time, and we never end up getting to fuck again. Why do I need such emptiness in my circle, when there’s clients willing to book more than one session over time?

I’m certainly not negating your experience. And yeah, maybe you did contact him on a bad day or bad time of day. We all have them. I know I have them. I know you probably feel that escort reviews should be as fair as leaving a Yelp or Google review. You can walk into a store, and if a clerk is rude, you can write a bad review without having ever brought anything. Again, I don’t know the details behind RentMen’s determination and review process. But, I think your assessing the matter moreso about the escort, versus the review process. Fact is: you had a bad time with the provider. I don’t know why the person would leave early and block you. Why? Why would he do that? What happened at the moments leading up to that happening? HOWEVER, I do agree that you should still be able to leave a review if someone you hired blocked you, but I also believe we as escorts should be able to review clients (in a confidential way) on the site as well, and I’m still waiting on that…

Because it’s RentMen. They want to be on the escorts side (we’re paying them every month). They want to also be on the client’s side (hence why you get to leave reviews). Issue is, it leaves a midground of, who’s looking out for who? That said, the only way you’ll get an appropriate answer is to contact RentM directly. An escort being rude in an email to you, isn’t going to compel RentMen to get a review published (and who knows, maybe you came off rude so…how fair would it be for RentMen to take sides or play mediator?). But getting actually ripped off might.

There’s many factors that could be involved. Cost of living is just one of them. I am at the disadvantage and inconvenience of being about an hour away from everywhere my clients usually are, when I’m in one of my locations part of the month. But that’s due to the distance, not the traffic. It’s about 60 miles. In L.A., an hour away could be from one neighborhood to the next. Traffic is the limiting factor. Maybe after awhile some guys get tired of the hustle and bustle and having to do the commute and go elsewhere.

I’m not an L.A. based provider, but to answer your question: yes, there is definitely a good Client base in Los Angeles. But as to the other half of your question, reaching that base isn’t as simple as it seems. I just checked and it appears to be 432 active “pornstars” on RentMen. Of course you can subtract the fake ads, duplicate ads, only fans ads, scam ads, and probably end up with just 50 “legitimate” escorts instead. But regardless, that’s still a lot of viewing material and a lot of overall choices for clients to choose from. That said: in my opinion, the L.A. market is not for beginners or high hopes. It’s a treacherous playing field, and whenever I go (which is usually never, except once every 2-4 years) my booking assistant is screening my clients and/or having visits confirmed before I even arrive. L.A. is one of the most cutthroat locations in the country. However if going for other business matters and what not, or including it as a tour…it can be a great time. I’ve always had a great time when I’ve gone. It’s just not my kinda market tho. San Francisco and Palm Springs are more of my vibe.

All valid reasoning. Hadn't quite thought of it that way. But idk, it's always a little uncomfortable being "sussed out". Not that I'm ashamed in any way, but I prefer to offer it when I'm ready. At the same time, it doesn't seem like it's a big deal in the scheme of things. But I've already had, as been mentioned: some people can seem open minded to what I do, but can be a dick about shit when the going gets rough. I would definitely remain discreet, because last thing I need is some gossipy person stepping out of their lane. That said: today and this week as a whole, I'm not at all feeling discouraged. It may not necessarily be the volume I desire, but I figure it'll happen. I'm just going to keep putting myself out there, adjusting my ads, pics, etc. Posting new videos when I can. May not be studio material yet, but definitely something to keep things interesting. I just had a new client the other day and he texted me a great review. So I know I'm doing everything right, I just have to keep on it and not get discouraged. I also am putting together an extensive tour schedule, I expect to end up more busy.

Superb 👌🏾 input. I will say: you’re in San Francisco so you have a bit of an edge being in one of my favorite markets. The money, the (wealthy/open-minded/older) gays and the big businesses are all out there. One could argue that’s the case in Kansas City, albeit on a much smaller scale. However there’s been trips I’ve done to SF where all my clients were outcalls…despite me hosting (though I often hosted in Alameda or SFO to save on costs and have easier access to parking). I may have another way to get an incall place that doesn’t directly involve starting a job (also idk how that would really pull off unless it’s a night shift job because many incall clients want to meet right during the daytime between 12 and 5, I would be at work if they wanted to meet). I had a former client/fuck Buddy with benefits who was letting me move into his place for incalls while he was away out of state for work. But then he started becoming a bitch when I was changing some things to make it more neat and decorative (he was among the younger ones, only a couple years older than me). He thought I should be content with the way he had it decorated (which was more like a old bachelor pad versus the temporary makeshift vintage boudoir look I was going for ). I was so disgusted and annoyed because I had finally started getting more biz, and he didn’t even come down to see the place before doing something very nasty and trivial that ruined the whole flow. Exactly why many gay men can’t be trusted until proven innocent. And true story, I actually did pick up a dead end part time office job years ago in Dallas/Fort Worth. I had needed some money and biz was slow. I eventually quit within a month before they fired me, because I had met 2 clients who paid me more than what they were paying me for 2 weeks of working. Obviously if I look for a job, it will definitely be something more interactive and higher end. I used to not like the idea of retail/clothing, but since many of the gay guys work/shop in those stores…it could be an additional way to get laid/visibility (off clock of course) Speaking of visibility: what would I do if a co-worker or boss sees my ad with face and nudity? Would someone have to revert to faceless pics due to the chance of termination if found out?

Right on. Also too I have Justforfans (JarrodBrandonXX if any interested/collabs). I have a fair amount of videos. Though I think I may go thru and revamp. I’ve always got extra unreleased content and some clients have even been willing participants lol). However, I’ll say a 9 to 5 was not very secure for me. Hence why I left. I always felt like I was living on the edge hoping I didn’t do something to get “laid off” (ironically some people think doing this is living on the edge). I’m not downing the structure of a 9 to 5, and eventually I think I’ll pick up something part time just to fill “space”, but every year when I think about doing it, I get too busy with other stuff (clients, home projects, traveling, model shoots, etc). I spent a couple of nights with a long time friend and his partner. They were both tense about work issues. But for some people, jumping from a 9 to 5 into freelance culture is foreign concept. As long as they don’t judge and support me, I won’t judge and will support them.

By the way: not to discredit your advice. But I am curious: how long were you in the biz and what made you decide to leave?

Curious to ask: how many bags do other traveling escorts carry on a 2-4 week “tour” or just a week? The consensus seems to be many people carry about 1 big bag with everything in it, or 2 bags. Me on the other hand, I’m crazy when it comes to packing lol. I have a separate bag for clothes, shoes, toiletries (I can’t get used to travel-sized anything), and then another bag for “bedroom/entertainment (extra sheet, towels, electronics, candles, tripod stand), and then a dedicated quickie outcall client bag. I wish I could just carry 2 bags, but most luggage doesn’t have enough compartments. Things have a way of spilling and poking and damaging items. And using just 1 bag for everything, it’s easy to end up with a grossly overweight lug pushing 60 pounds (I don’t fly much anymore, but I know anything over 50 pounds it’s going to be $75).

It sounds like an easy solution, but similar to some people who are stuck in demanding careers, I can't just take a a long break. I may be putting out the wrong impression that I only have negative feelings about the biz, but reality is a good part of my being and finances revolve around it. It's not something I can just drop and walk away from. I need a few G's 💵 and several months, to take a break and make a transition lol. I am not ashamed to say I am reliant on my client base, even if some think I don't appreciate them. I do regularly take mini breaks from the biz. Each month, I Covid freeze my ads on RentMen and RentMasseur (So glad they introduced that last year). Sometimes it's just for a weekend, other times it's been for 2 weeks. That said, I do think about other jobs I can do that align with my interests. But it's hard to understand that I really don't have a lot of time to do that. If i need $500, I know how to get $500. But finding the right job, going on interviews, etc etc...that can take months even year or 2. Meanwhile, there's bills and obligations to be paid today. Otherwise, I'm not too much looking for advice on how to get out of the business, moreso what ways others pass the time or stay productive when their escort spirit is not at its best. But thanks though.