JB_Studio38

Yup, stuff like you mentioned tends to occur throughout my week. Thanks for sharing. Except in my case, when I’m on tour it can be fairly easy to replace lost bookings. In a hotel, hosting, or just ready to go. And usually always centrally located. My situation at home is a bit different, 1 cancelled booking may be all I get that day, or in a case like this week: the whole week. Thank lucky 🏳️‍🌈 🌈 stars for my trusted reliable regulars. That said, I don’t like when someone minimize these things to mere complaints and negativity. Before someone tries to judge, they should at least try to better get an understanding. Some people out in this world don’t believe that there’s a such thing as a disadvantaged market. A person can have all the right things going, looks, personality, marketing. But if they live in an area where not enough people support it…shit out of luck. Not to mention, I live in a heavily a Trump supported state. I still see Trump stuff despite the election is over and done. And outside of the select few closed knit enclaves of wealth In the 2 big cities and recreational/lake goer types in the country, Missouri is a relatively “tight” state when it comes to money. The only business’s I see out here really getting lots of customers are auto repair shops, Walmart, and BBQ restaurants. But speciality shops, and sex workers ain’t making big hits out here. The guys I’ve come across: they do this for “fun” or extra money. So that’s what’s important. People are quick to pop off and point the finger, but they don’t have a real insight into what someone may be up against. Not that I expect it though. At this point, I’m just going to get thru this by marketing my ass off in other markets. I’ve already came up with a tour schedule today, I know that’s just the formula I need to get out of this rut.

Guess what? If that person reads it…great. What does it matter anyway? I’m not calling anyone out by name, number and address. People on here talk about providers all the time. And maybe then that person could be aware of how ‘not’ to book a provider. Matter of fact, I would tell him that myself…and will if I see him again. Nothing wrong with communication. My thing with what you’re saying is: it’s not making much better of the discussion. Question is: are you really vested in sharing and coming up with a solution, understanding the topic at hand and getting an idea of what can be done to improve. or are you just talking shit out of your ass? Because if it’s the latter, you can’t be disconcerted if I don’t eagerly take your advice.

I already have a full life and schedule. I get the jist of your suggestion, but the way it comes off is as if I have nothing else going on. You say volunteer like I have too much time on my hands. And that’s not representative of me. As I type this, I’m busy and in the middle of something. I’m making phone calls on one ear, talking to a clerk with the other, and typing this up. That’s why sometimes I go on random breaks from the forum because I end up too busy. And it’s not just chasing clients that keeps me busy either. But I get it. Whenever I have these discussions, it’s always going to re-direct to me and what I’m doing/not doing versus finding ways to improve the culture. That’s why things are slow to change.

That is true too. But also too, one shouldn’t gaslight the matter and pretend like clients don’t bring negativity and drama into our lives as well. It may not be direct, but I can’t tell you how often I may have been having a fairly okay day, just going with the flow, when a client contacts me to arrange a session and then becomes dismissive or unreliable in the process. Next thing I know, I’m in a not so great mood. That said, I am getting better with it. Like I said about the one strike rule (and others can call it negative or dramatic all they want, but for me I call it a solution to a reoccurring issue). Instead of allowing these guys to push me day by day, I’m not wavering from deposits and I’m taking great pride in blocking and cutting off certain clients. One the other day, a repeat client…called my phone over and over first thing in morning like he’s lost his mind. I called him back, no answer. Then text him. He wanted a session. But he was pushy about scheduling. I told him he needs to be patient as I was in the middle of something and couldn’t drive to him until after a certain time that afternoon. He goes back and forth between doing it or not doing it, then tries rebook and asks if I have meth and he’ll want to meet. But I’m the one with the drama? Right.

No offense taken (and if you have to start off with “no offense”, you automatically know that what you’re about to say has the potential to offend, so why even defend yourself 🤷🏾‍♂️ That said, you’re entitled to your opinion. But if having a discussion about certain things in the business on a discussion forum is unpleasant to you, then perhaps YOU want to change your perspective on it. That’s what it’s all about. Who you hire is who you hire, but I don’t have these discussions in my ad…so that part you’re saying is irrelevant. It’s like saying tourists will avoid going to a state just because a city council meeting got heated. Ummm, no. That’s a city council meeting, and this is a message board. I would hope one would not make decisions solely off what’s posted here.

I can concur with that. I don’t think there’s anything necessarily to be ashamed about if it does comes down to counseling or therapy. I’ve known clients to have done it, and I have even consulted into it myself. However, I think at times one can have a right to feel discouraged or discontent with the state of things, especially as it surrounds their profession or professional circumstances. Hell, when I hear my friends voice gripes about their work…I usually say that’s why I’ve left the workforce and haven’t looked back. I think it’s good to understand where someone is coming from though, before defaulting to it being the fault of the person. Let’s take this real life scenario for example: I’ve been back home from tour since Sunday. Other than my trusted regular “sponsor”, I’ve had 0 bookings. And now it’s Friday. 0. And this week alone I’ve had a handful of obligations/bills/repair stuff to meet. Meanwhile, my RentMen ad that SHOULD be generating prospects, for one reason or another either can’t align at the same time or just don’t follow thru. And don’t even get me started on RentMasseur. Even though I do meet a lot of clients from it, 3/5 of the calls from it are a joke. I didn’t even bother renewing my ad yet because I know mentally I’m not ready to deal with it. Many of my blacklisted clients come from RentMasseur, but being that RentMen doesn’t get as much bookings in this region, I pretty much have to rely on RentMasseur as a co-producer to my RentMen ad, because my RentMen ad alone won’t generate enough business. If it were 5 years ago, I would not do RentMasseur, I’d be doing Men4Rent and Rentboy and the occasional posting on backpage if neither site was particularly busy in the specified area.

It does restrict business to a degree, but at the same time…the days I actually do book set aside a day or 2 to do incalls, only 1 person may show up. I thought about maybe doing something like, I host on a certain day each week (perhaps, “hump” day”), but it doesn’t ensure that I won’t just be posted up in a hotel if nobody can make it. I also have to ensure everyone isn’t trying to meet at the same time, or something like 1 pm if I can’t get in until 3 pm. I’ve had private incall space on more than a couple of occasions, but being I was traveling every month it was counterproductive. I liked being busy traveling, but since it was dead at home…I’d have to send back a chunk of what I made on the go back, AND pay for expenses while traveling. So I gave that up and stuck with the travel lifestyle, but the caveat is coming back home to a place I can’t host from…and in the Midwest, just about everybody wants the provider to host.

That’s facts. And I’m still doing my workout routine and stuff. Right now, the only reason I’m in afloat in my local area now is because I have a regular who gives me a sum every other week or 2. But right now, it’s just a deeper level of discouragement that exercise can’t assist lol. I need things to get better, and people to do better. I also think that I may be pushed to move out of the Kansas City/Saint Louis market this year if the deal for my private incall space doesn’t pan out. At the same time, state to state and city to city, there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of difference except in a few select towns where I know is consistently solid for biz. But I’m also tempted to no longer offer incalls at all when in Kansas City or Saint Louis, and only deal with advanced or same day notice outcalls only. Like I say, I’m not like “starving” or doing “bad”, I just want to be on another level.

@CuriousByNature I’ve definitely done some reevaluating. But at the same time I do that periodically anyway. The issue in my market is I’m just limited. Like just today, someone contacts me the day of at noon asking if I can meet at 2:30 (over RentMen messenger at that). I don’t really host and when I do, it’s definitely not short notice. This happens without fail atleast once every week: Someone contacts for me to host or go to them without much notice, and when I try to arrange, it doesn’t workout. I wish I could just take clients anytime, like a barbershop and just be available…but there’s a difference between having 2 clients a week versus 2 clients per hour. Therefore, it’s just not workable to always be available. People expect us to have it all together: a place to host, a phone to be contacted on, and available right away. But they’re not doing their part to make it easy. I can easily host someone: if they contact with notice like a normal person. Who the fuck else do you just call out the blue and ask to come over? This is not a salon, this is someone’s home or hotel. It doesn’t take precision planning. A simple email/text: Hi I see you’re in town/available, I would like to visit you. What’s a DAY AND TIME OF DAY we can work out? And I just got an email today from my bank saying they aren’t going to refund the $93 that I spent on a hotel, after 2 clients failed to show up after I clicked “book” on Priceline, and I had no other reason to go to the hotel in May. But it’s things like that why I won’t double back, every client who wants me to host is going to need deposit until I get situated back into my private incall space. And on my last trip, I had a hotel for 3 nights and it was all just outcalls.

This isn’t to say I’m not grateful for the great clients and fun times I do have, and I know I probably have it fairly ok for the most part in the big scheme of things. But by discouraged, it’s just from a general feeling that I’m still not really getting “ahead” and the biz right now just feels so stagnant. I know part of it is my market and the other part being I haven’t had a “private” incall place in awhile. So it’s just been hotels and outcalls. I’d like to get those things done, but I’m not getting enough bookings each day to make any changes. On my last tour to a city, I had 3 regulars and 1 newbie during a week long visit at end of June. On paper that’s not bad, but over a course of 7 days, it’s really not enough to get anything “done”. It was enough for essentials, bills and entertainment, but nothing like, “hey I’m going to go rent a studio or office space for the next few months“ type of Money. Not to mention, the sites now are so restrictive to me. So much stuff is being censored out, feel like you can’t really be yourself. They’re also not doing much to build a network of dependability between us and clients. And with sites like Craigslist and backpage, there’s not enough hits coming out of the smaller towns. It seems a all the action is centered in the bigger cities. Add to the fact, hotels have now gone way up, and in some repressed markets, incalls is the only business you’re going to get. I’m fortunate that I’ve got a “network” of regulars now, but they aren’t necessarily “sugar daddies”. Plus I like to handle my own. But I wouldn’t mind building up more of a base. It just seems like there’s a shortage of clients especially with apps and more guys on the market. Also seemed like things were a little busier last summer than it is this summer. Are there any new reputable sites that have come up? What’s been the vibe in your city?

One thing I haven’t been able to find is a lobster buffet? However I know in Orlando there’s also a place near the main drag to the parks (Tourist hell lol) called Boston lobster feast. I haven’t been before but stayed at a hotel next door to it. Can’t say one way or the other how it is.

Wait a minute now! Lol. I will totally do buffets (the misconception that buffets are only for overweight/unhealthy people is misplaced…I think buffets are a body builders dream lol). Nothing like an all you can eat after a hardcore chest or leg workout. Thay said, no box wine for me unless a gay bar actually served “White wine busts” instead of these god awful “beer busts”. Considering the alcohol content of wine, it’s more masculine than beer IMO lol. That said: there’s a superb buffet in my home state down in the Florida keys between key west and key largo called Whale Harbor. I went last year pre-pandemic in February with a sponsor of mine. Idk if they had “king” crab but snow crab and stuffed lobster was plentiful, along with a variety of other items: I actually posted a pic of me digging in on my Instagram last year 😂

Right, and I was more referring to your last sentence: I know for a fact it’s happened atleast a couple of times, in one case the client flaked, hired another escort, and then later on seen he reviewed him. In your case, it sounds expected that the interaction doesn’t sound like any harm or foul done. Technically a provider shouldn’t be upset or jealous about a client contacting someone else. But as I’ve said before to others, it’s all about tact. Me personally though: I don’t really get too caught up in who reviewed who. I’m the same way with “products” and even hotels. Even though reviews may be true, I need to be able to get the experience for myself and tell. Likewise, I’m not necessarily eager to read a client’s review of another escort either. Though I do admit that I’ve on occasion gotten tempted enough to read some bad reviews and responses…and some of those BAD reviews of escorts by clients, have actually proven that it was the client who was misbehaving, not the provider ☝

Interesting. Curious to know if any others have used that and if it’s been useful. The challenge I can see with that is you could have people booking times and getting reminders, but that’s not always a guarantee that I can do the time frame. For example say someone last minute books for 1 p.m. and I don’t check into my hotel until 3 p.m. A big part of the schedule process challenge is the fact of some clients having limited windows to meet. I had a regular client reach out to me the Monday after Pride Sunday last weekend. He reached out to me around 1 p.m. But it wasn’t until about after 6 that evening that I was free. By then he couldn’t meet anymore that day, or apparently the whole rest of week I was there. Sometimes I want to 1 strike regulars like that as well. But some can be interested down the line. I had a chat with one the other day in person, that he can’t keep contacting me last minute expecting me to drop what I’m doing and see him. Even though that wasn’t his intention, I told him previously he had done that and then when I tried to arrange for the next day, he ignored me all day and then got back to me in the evening saying he was busy all day. I know I sound like an easily irritable person, which I’m not…but like I said before I don’t like the idea that if I don’t drop what I’m doing, or that if I don’t leave my friends or my “Wine and movie evening” that I could potentially end up losing that client until they decide to contact me or I’m in town again which could be months later.

And that’s why we are currently in the Sesta/Fosta (Google it if anyone isn’t aware of it) era. Many brothels translate to “human trafficking” which is just a legal term for pimping to some degree. Long story short, it’s the reason why Adam 4 Adam no longer offers escort as a pro choice and why RentMen doesn’t allow us to post rates, and markets us as “porn stars”. The brothel’s of today are online. It’s better for the provider and the client. The closest one can get to that nowadays is likely a bathhouse.

And surely down in Fort Bottomdale or Man Diego

It’s not cost though. It’s about who can I trust to properly handle my bookings. Again, we’re taking sex work here. Back in the day, or even now for women: there were “agencies” that took the cut. I’ve never worked for an agency before, but I’m pretty sure it was cut and dry and to the point. However Idk how agencies would handle a client who didn’t show up or wasn’t there when the escort knocked. But that’s why providers take deposits. It’s not to victimize the client. It’s like Uber and every other online ordering service known to man: you pay first, get the product later. And these companies make ‘em pay full price. I just ask for a portion

@purplekow, I’m actually unsure myself the extent of how much my friend knew about “us” prior to this interaction. But he did have some inkling as to the fact that him and I was trying to go in a certain direction. Eventually I sent him a text message a couple days later showing how the “fuck Buddy” double backed in Chicago…claiming he just wanted to be friends with benefits despite going on a vacation together and introducing me to family. Followed by, “I’m not looking for anything serious, especially with anyone under 40”. He’s an opportunist. Even though I wasn’t mad at my friend, I was trying to let him know it would have been a bad move for him to sleep with him also. The guy hooked up with me, and then proceeded to ask me 2 or 3 times whether I was positive AFTER the fact. Instead of just taking my initial answer as fact. My friend who came to visit is HIV positive. So I was like, why would I even sit there and watch him go down that road? Absolutely not. As for a 3 way: I have done 3 ways with friends, but that’s general in a capacity to where neither of us have had prior connections with the guy. But I have reached out to a couple of his friends he introduced me to, to tell them how he had acted towards me. He introduced me to a couple of his friends and was trying to “promote” me to them since I do massage and they previously expressed interest in having one. But I told them, just because he did that doesn’t mean he’s gets a free family and friends pass lol. He initiated those connections. It’s like someone inviting you to their home, and then that person just shows up unannounced to your home and says, “I had you over for dinner, I should be able to just come over anytime I want now!” That said: I’m still friends with my friend, and he understood that the guy was a jerk because of how he talked to me. The “fuck Buddy” I told him I’m done and did NOT accept his apology. Here’s the lowest form of trash out here in Kansas City (and there’s a lot of it here). Has a lot of charm and fakes a good catch on social media (even posting the pics the 3 of us took at the mall, completely omitting the fact that neither of us are dealing with him anymore).

Similar to the other thread about 1 strike and our clients (and I believe I’ve gone ahead and blocked this one), this person contacted me at a later hour and expected immediate service, then wasn’t willing to give me an hour to get to him. Not to mention, he was in a suburb of Kansas City outside of the main metro. Maybe he got flaked on by another provider, which is why the call came last minute. But he also claimed to “possibly” be able to book me the next day, which never happened.

Considering this is “ask a provider”, I figure I could chime in. Of course I disagree with the sending money ahead of time equating to being a predator or red flag. Rather critical verbiage. I actually state in my ad that new clients may need to confirm (hard to say “deposits” in many ads these days). Just like clients may come across fake providers, so is the case of escorts coming by fake clients. And A4A is among the top for having flaky clients. As for verifying: I use my Jarrod Brandon name in my ad and include my JFF handle. A profile with an actual name is likely more true than something with a screenname sounding name.

Thanks @Monarchy79 and others for the replies. You were spot on right that the very fact of me introducing them was something better left undone, and I knew that. I was more expecting it to be a case of them not getting along (I told my friend about he would talk down to me even prior to me introducing them). But I should have known, whether they did or didn’t get along it would have been a recipe for disaster. I did mainly as a test: but I should have grabbed my friend and walked away much sooner. Also to add: this fuck buddy didn’t start off as a client or in that capacity. He added me on Instagram or vice versa and somehow we connected on there. But our initial meet was a date that lead to some wild sex lol. We had also linked up again a couple weeks down the line As to @jeezifonly and @jeezopete, I did flip out but it wasn’t simply because of him trying to get with my friend. I had a client waiting at home, and other interests. I flipped out because the former “fuck buddy” guy responded with hate filled rhetoric in public. Then when I tried to talk, he continued…adding in, “you’re a sex worker” in some attempt to gain additional leverage that he should have a free pass to my friend. My disagreeing with it wasn’t out of jealousy, control, or being a cock blocker. It was out of the fact that fuck Buddy wasn’t sincere about our initial starting point, and for him to graduate on to my friend on the first introduction…was in bad taste. If any of you 2 agree with that, I would have to wonder your level of integrity as well. I’ve been introduced to a lot of friends of clients and/or fuck buddies. It is just common sense that you never go and try to sleep with someone’s friend/partner who you fucked/dated UNLESS the person who introduced you says it’s okay. I’ve had that happen before successfully. Or at the very least: do so in a capacity that’s somewhat discreet. I would have been totally fine with them hooking up clear out in Chicago down the line. But not on a town stroll in Kansas City while my friend is just out of a bad relationship, and visiting me. That said, @Monarchy79 I’m on the same train as you: I’ve really cut down on drama llamas myself. I had a really toxic but long time on and off friend pass earlier this year. He was a great friend part of the time, but majority of time was toxic, abusive, and unsupportive. We ended on a bad note. It made me realize more, lot of these guys out here are not just toxic to others but to themselves. They’re liable to bring that same toxicity into their friendships. So now when I come across a friend who’s constantly pushing me to the edge, I let them know I’m no longer interested in the interaction (this keeps me from hanging onto the friendship, only to have it surfaced later). I’ve already let go about 5 “friends/fuck buddies” this year alone.

Thanks all for the perspectives and replies (though a couple I was confused about e.g. the provider who had 3 bookings all in 1 line). Doesn’t really sound like anything bad happened, I wouldn’t of immediately blocked the client over that. But if it was a case where the person said they would contact at a time that night and didn’t, that’s when I would find it inconsiderate. I just got back over the weekend from doing my rounds in Denver. I was glad that 4 clients who booked me followed thru. I had 2 regulars who quasi-flaked on me. Seems like they wanted to meet, but couldn’t front the time. However, I did come across 1 person who did something so annoying, I didn’t have to think twice about blocking him: I’m at a nice Sheraton hotel, he CALLS me in the morning (and for this reason I keep reminding myself why I don’t like to take phone calls). Tells me that he is in the area, and I can see it based on the Adam 4 Adam locator that he was. He wants to come “now”. I’m like, I can see you in 30 minutes at 11. Then he starts saying like that’ll be too late. Then I tell him he can come over now and wait in lobby, I can see him in 15 minutes. Says he’s going to get cash, but then backs out while on the phone, with some excuse. Then says he’ll contact me next time I’m in town. I blocked his A4A and number shortly after. And like @italianboyph and @HoleTrainer said, some of these guys get off on the idea of chatting us up and may even flake again down the line. I also have read that since the pandemic, stuff like flight attendant abuse and inconsiderate drivers have been on the rise. What doesn’t get reported: treatment of sex workers and masseurs are also likely worse. It’s not necessarily physically abusive, but it’s definitely an increased aura of it…at the same time it seems like the calls have gone down since many states have reopened. I was actually a little busier during the start and middle of the pandemic than now. But my overall tolerance for bullshit is down. I also get tired of arguing and getting into debates with clients over the phone about whether or not they believe they made an appointment or not. If a person didn’t want to make an appointment, then why the hell bother to contact a provider to begin with. And even though the suggestions about delayed replies and not taking late messages are golden advice, many or most of the “now” requests come at morning and lunch hours. I periodically put my ads on freeze, and even though 4th of July weekend might of been a good time to post up for some clients, I opted to take down my ads or not renew. Holidays can bring clients, but also bring about people with too much time on their hands.

this is me 100% I actually carry a designated “client bag”, but have gone thru a few over the years. Recently I decided not to carry a “client bag” when I’m traveling because it just adds to my bags. In addition to the things you mentioned, I also may have to pack a bottle of wine and change of clothes. It’s been hard to find a sturdy bag that won’t be too heavy or fall apart. I see a lot of bags at the discount stores that look great, but they just fall flat because some are packed with tissues.

Pretty much as said. And I’ve seen first hand guys using fake pictures and turn up as someone else. All turned out to be well, but my thing is when a client does disagree…then turns the guy away and a confrontation ensues. A client of mine told me about this once. The guy pictured was a hot guy, but who showed up was some old guy. When the client turned him away, the “escort” gave him a mouthful. Scary situation indeed. I’d even say some people may think clients are so desperate that they’ll take anyone regardless of the photos. Maybe back in 2002 that was okay when print was out and photos were uncommon in escort ads. But definitely not these days.

Thanks for your perspective about conventions. And I can understand it being problematic. But that’s why I’m taking the steps to give instruction. Unfortunately, their convention variables shouldn’t be my problem. I didn’t call them, they called me. So it’s not fair to just expect to boss me around and be there at the drop of a dime with no ability to plan. They should have thought ahead of time, contacted me ahead of time, and figured it out. There’s no reason I should just have to drop everything and immediately see them, or live in fear that if I don’t, the appointment will never work out. And I definitely don’t like having to leave my couch/bed after 10 pm for some last minute outcall appointment that I had no idea even two hours ago, that I would get.