JB_Studio38

Never said he did. What I AM saying was: IF the CLIENT is/was not sure of his plans of traveling then, he should not have been reaching out to providers to book an appointment. If you’re not booking an appointment, then why are you contacting? This is not like other businesses where you get to “call around” for the best deal. You’re dealing with something very intimate and specific. Once you make that text or call, you have booked the session by default. It’s like booking an Uber: you don’t go on the app and ping drivers for availability until you’ve paid the fee and are ready to go somewhere. Not “if” whatever billion other things you have going on, work out. There’s a verse out there: So don’t say yes I want to book, but then no I’m not booking an appointment. And this is not necessarily harping on the OP, but in general because I used to hear clients say ”but I didn’t book an appointment” all the time: Here’s the thing: most times it never gets that far. A provider can spend a whole minimum wage pay day worth of back and forth texting and not have any appointment time set up yet. That’s why I stopped doing all the small talk unless I know the client is ready to book a session.

Well, in reality you can’t really dictate what someone “should” do. Being a sex worker isn’t always a profession where people get a chance to be interviewed and “qualified” for by a recruiting agent. Guys have their reasons for needing to get into it, all the logistical street smarts don’t necessarily come right away. It take months and YEARS of experience. You can’t expect a sex worker to come into the game knowing everything and being perfectly business savvy. Maybe YOU need to not hire escorts, and deal with the sea of last minute possibilities, flakes and “inquiries” on hookup apps? You sound like a sweet guy, and even your screenname sounds hot 😉 but…as I said before: you weren’t necessarily an Angel yourself. You knew you had a flaky boss, you reached out to a bunch of guys haphazardly, and someone got annoyed. That’s not his fault. Like I said: next time wait until you’re at the airport. Or better yet, when your boss has booked your ticket or whatever. Don’t try to get ahead by making tentative plans. Look around, take notes of who you want to contact if you have to, but wait until things are more solidified before making inquiries.

I disagree too. But, it takes awhile to decide whether someone wants to have a steady stream of maybe 🤔 clients, or those who are a sure thing. Like I’ve said before: I used to operate on whoever shows, shows: but my life situation right now doesn’t allow that. With midgrade gas at $3.50+ and mediocre hotels asking $50/$100/$250 deposits (seen this last month in Denver), I can’t take chances like I used to.

That’s because you aren’t looking to get paid. You’re looking for the service. You may not gain the *ex from that particular provider, but the escort regardless of who cancels, loses *ex and money. so people need to stop using that analogy.

This is kind of one of those topics that, it seems both parties didn’t communicate or state intent well, which led to resentment. I’ve been there, which is why the deposit principle is also there to further solidify: is this an actual appointment request, or is it just an inquiry possibility. Inquiry possibilities always sounds good on paper, but it’s nothing to plan a day, travel or life. I got tired of that. I don’t think it has to be part of the business, I just think people have to present boundaries and options. This can be done even without a deposit. 1 example could be, “if you want to book me for your trip, I would need to know by Thursday at 6 p.m. (if your boss is still fidgeting around, then counter back a different timeframe, or find out the best you can) If I don’t hear anything by then, I’m not going to be available and/or I’ll make my own plans. That way, if the OP have not responded Thursday: he would have been instantly deprioritized. A ? Is the least possible initiating in world history. The escort should not have communicated like that, especially in an urgent response circumstance. If you have a question, just f-ing ask. Stop playing games. As I’ve said before: part of this is the RentMen platform not giving us opportunity to share enough info. But, it’s still up to us to do the communicating,

That was nice that you offered half the fee. Not sure how much that half was that isn’t “enough”, but it’s a reasonable gesture for the situation. Other than that, this is why I only travel/see clients with deposits nowadays. Unless I really have some other reason to be in that particular city. I won’t say it’s his fault for not making sure clients were more confirmed but, this can be an issue when touring places and trying to schedule people. Not to mention: it seems guys who pay for “time” are often very limited on time. I understand those who come to us often have full and busy lives but, the clients also have to make room and prioritize their escort meets. Often times, I’m working with clients who want to fit me in to different things they have going on, on short notice. Or if you’re not sure about your travel, and know it may fluctuate: don’t start reaching out yet until you’re at the airport. Also don’t contact multiple providers, contact one at a time. No need to spend hours back and forth. Have typed up what you want to do/spend and your location…ask the guy you want and book. It should only take 15 minutes, or 4-5 texts Max. If the one you want doesn’t respond, text again in about an hour to ensure message was received. Don’t contact a odd hours (some clients text me first thing in the morning, and I don’t really like to start my morning answering inquiries unless it’s for a client who’s booked from the night before). I know it seems reasonable to book in advance, but booking in advance works best when things are not in the hands of a third party (in this case, the boss who changed the plans).

I have a circumstance that will likely explain why a provider would ask for such a thing: This genius had the audacity to file a claim on part of a transaction he paid me. He then lied and claimed I kept asking for more money. When in reality, all I did was ask to be reimbursed $50 of the hotel that I paid for, for a session that lasted……Wait for it: 10 MINUTES. So I spent half the afternoon, moved a salon appointment, drove 30 miles and booked a hotel room for a session that lasted 10 minutes. Paying just my 1 hour rate doesn’t cut it. We didn’t even get into the foreplay and “real” stuff, because he was quote, “not mentally ready”. Going forward, I’m going to be making sure my clients also use the family and friends options as well. And this is also why: just can’t go out of my way for wishy washy clients anymore. Prospective clients who take forever to book, always seem busy and have an excuse: ARE TROUBLE. BIG, BIG TROUBLE. That’s why the other day: I had a guy send me a deposit PLUS agree to pay $350 when I arrived because he was 1.5 hour away. I decided not to go because at 3 a.m., how can I really trust this person is going to be and say what they’re going to do? Plus I instructed him to send a $75 deposit, he only sends $25. Not following directions, first red flag 🤦🏾‍♂️ And I’ve offered 2 nights to rebook him and it’s been the exact same as mentioned above: taking forever to book with no responses to set an appointment time.

If that happens, I try to slow things down. Some may get nervous if things get right into f**king, so maybe instead start with some massaging, a little wine, chat, background videos, etc. Sometimes just taking 10-15 minutes to pretend you’re meeting like regular interaction can help smooth things out.

I’ll mention something else: I try to be thorough and make sure it’s not anything I’m doing/missing that may be affecting my volume of clients, and to also occasionally view RentMen like a client. Not logged in. I just found out a couple things in the past week that I was unaware of: one, the link to websites in my IM signature when clicked shows a pop up of a warning from RentMen saying you’re leaving their site and warns of possible phishing. I wrote to them, and it’s just an automated message because somehow people were clicking fake sites and getting scammed. Also: I wasn’t aware that when I select “show number for verified members only” that when it’s clicked, it just says phone not available, instead of “please log in to view this number “. I was using that option because I got tired of the 1 or 2 word inquiries that give me nothing to work off if, scam sugar daddy texts, and just overall riff raff showing my number. But considering I have a separate ad phone, I decided to just go ahead and try again to leave it up. Even though: a person can read my ad and see the directions to my contact info, but for whatever reason some people can’t seem to find a way to reach me unless I have a number showing right in their face 🤦🏾‍♂️

Thanks, I do have a couple places in mind. I also applied for an incentive program that is open to pay and take in new residences. However, it seems a trade off in many areas in this country: The weather. Many of the nicer climate areas are more expensive and have lots of providers. The Deep South has longer summers, but it’s too much history. Northern areas tend to reach my ideal base, but the winters are so long. Just a month or so ago, everything was nice and green, and now it’s all brown and freezer burnt. I don’t mind snow but not into just dreary and land locked. So I’m considering New York State. Chicago has not been a huge money maker for me. It’s not necessarily worse in the sense of the word, but I feel after a few years in a city: unless you wind up in a steady relationship or have family/healthy friends, it’s hard to stay tied to an area. In my case, it’s family. I even seen this with a neighbor who used to live upstairs. He met a guy, they started dating, even became “boyfriends”. Then the neighbor’s boyfriend decided to take a job offer in Houston and moved. Well, the neighbor also moved. Not to be with him, but a different town in the next state over. I’ve had at least a couple of times where once I decided to finally leave a city, on the week of the move: I meet a great client or someone with possible relationship potential. Ironic. I’ll take the gurl with the hair part on the right, please and thankyou 😛 That said, I know you also like to crack jokes but: I am trying to get actual observations/experiences about this topic

I’ve first relocated to my current market in 2018, on and off traveling to other cities. There’s 2 cities which I ”base” myself between (Kansas City and St. Louis). Things were always “hit or miss” in both areas. Some weeks seemed pretty lucrative, but there were some extended lulls. Especially this time of year and during the summer it seemed. Lately it seems the lulls have gotten more frequent, and extended. Neither location is really bringing steady biz. I had 2 new bookings in KC last week that went well, but then I went to St. Louis for some personal affairs and got nothing in 3 days. Finally threw in the towel and left. On top of that, I had 2 “regulars” mess me about: one who started claiming my base price of $250 that we’ve done like 3-4 times already was too much for him (which I offered him a reasonable alternative). He didn’t book me while I was there, but tells me he can meet next week, but then this week rolls around and he can’t make it. Fortunately I had already left and changed my plans going back anyway. Another who I began a “friendship” with, became evasive, even though we kept in touch over texts and met a few times since August. He would share his plans, but when I would suggest something, he’d beat around the bush or be unavailable. Finally, I told him it’s best we part ways, and I’m moving on. Add salt to the situation, I have only 1 or 2 real friends in each area, who are clients I’ve got along with. Everyone else have just been fuck buddies/acquaintances but after a couple or so meets, they aren’t consistent. I have a counselor that I confide in, but he is a married, gay man of color which helps relate. However he seems to be more used to a traditional lifestyle, that I’m not able to take on. The environments aren’t ideal, so I don’t see a reason to immerse myself by picking up a job that obligates me to stay all the time. And most of the clients in the area don’t seem to have a genuine appreciation of the escorts. It’s like a 1 or 2 time, last minute when they’re horny type of deal. Most can’t keep their word. It’s always lots of inquiries but not enough following thru. At one point it was tolerable, but I feel like 4 years is too long to stay in some markets. Maybe if it were a San Francisco or New York traffic, but I’ve only lived in medium sized areas that “blew up” overnight. All that blowing up doesn’t always do much to improve gay social/biz life. It just raises rents and adds competition. Even though I travel twice a month, it’s not enough. Lately I haven’t been able to do trips longer than a week or 2 since the Spring. Anyone have their own time frame for how long they prefer to live in an area?

I think I read this the other day but then got sidetracked. Think I was on my way to meet a client at the casino 🎰 Anyhow, these are all valid points and very sensible at that. However it’s also things that just have to be discussed during the booking process. This is why I start off the bat with questions: Name/Age: City You’re In: Website Seen On: Host or Travel: and sometimes I’ll even say: “are you top or bottom?” Get everything out the way quickly so no time is wasted, but do so with tact and flexibility without assumptions. It’s not just, “hey are you available now, I want to come to you?” Available for what now, and for whom? And when and where is now?

It wasn’t that your humor isn’t appreciated, it’s just I don’t feel it was the right thing to say in reference to the quote. I know you’re quite sensible and we’ve talked 1 on 1 about things, so I know your intentions aren’t bad. But there’s a time and place to crack jokes, and this wasn’t one of them.

I’m glad you think invalidating a personal observation is a backdrop to make a flirty joke out of: Invalidation sends the message that a person’s subjective emotional experience is inaccurate, insignificant, and/or unacceptable. https://drjamielong.com/validation-5-things-not-to-say/

Likewise, experienced as well. That said, I’m not opposed to payment after the session. However when you say never but then mention “only having a problem 2 or 3 times”: I think a little clarity is needed. Surely you’ve had clients walk in and pay upfront without waiting until after the session? So…though it’s not a mandatory requirement, it’s still a preference. Having a problem 2 or 3 times in 25 years may seem small, but what level was the problem? 2 or 3 times could be a dozen times for someone who travels often, and is a bit lenient on screening and deposits.

Not to jump in, but I got my 2nd MP vax the other day… The only sucky part is that because I get the tricep one, and I sleep on my side. The pain and swelling for me lasted a week or 2 the first time. This time doesn’t seem as bad…but I remember it seemed to get worse day by day. But it literally just feels like I worked out my arms. I used to never get vaccines but now I’m just like, whatever. I pop a ton of vitamins and supplements so any symptoms I get done last long. I take my Tylenol and Advil and Benadryl/hydrocortisone. Fluids. It’s crazy out there. Wish there was a syphilis vaccine, but… https://historyofvaccines.org/blog/the-historical-impact-of-the-tuskegee-syphilis-study-on-modern-vaccination-efforts

That’s understandable, but your preference shouldn’t define another’s truth. I’ve been in it for about half as long, but probably have just as much experiences. I’ve told a handful of situations here alone: The most recent where the guy has a wad of money equaling $27 when I was trying to settle upfront. In which he said he’d brb and never did. Which story would you prefer to hear? There was also a former forum member years ago, who said he’d just done an overnight and when he got to the airport to go home, he opened the envelope to a bunch of single…dollar bills. Anything could happen. It doesn’t have to be a lot, only once. You may get lucky and not have to deal with that issue. I know I’ve done both with varying results. But I prefer to go with the one I feel most comfortable with. Granted: I will say, the PayPal situation in the above post does sound a bit suspect. At the very least, forward. But, from experience I understand some like to push chargebacks, and you have to fight like hell to get it back. Even when it isn’t chargebacks, PayPal randomly freezes up transactions for no known reason.

That’s not out of the question however, hookup apps are more often and likely to be where issues come up. Fake providers post on there as well…

There’s definitely a vintage perk about booking an older provider over 30. However, some of the older guys like myself did start in their 20s. In the above example that @Jamie21 mentioned, “He was young, early 20’s and I find this kind of attitude more common with younger guys.” that seems to be similiar. However despite the video shoot with the guy I was planning with falling thru, a client requested a visit not far from the time. So I picked up a new client in the process. Sometimes if someone want to act like they can’t be bothered, another person will. Some people want me to bend over backwards for them, but they won’t even do the same. Would that porn guy have driven 600 miles to my city, got a hotel room for us to shoot in? Probably not…

This why I feel it’s important to get all the “deal breakers” (or screening, in escort language) out the way first. Some start right off the bat with questions about availability, like “hey I’m in xxxx at hotel xxxx. Are you available now? Am I supposed to say yes, before I know anything? I know escort meets isn’t dating, but there has to be some common sense and consideration that we’re essentially meeting someone over text or phone we know nothing about. Fortunately I’ll say most prospects don’t mind sharing pics, or at the least Name/Age (some of us don’t wish to book someone under 21 or 25), Basic description, etc. If they skirt the questions, then it’s likely they won’t get around to actually meeting.

From having visited recently, Denver is quite rough around the edges. However, it’s nothing really new: it’s been going the same direction since I left in 2016. Lot of druggie amateur types getting into the biz, costs of hotels have gone up unnecessarily. Clients are likely just as flaky as the providers. However, that’s also why having boundaries and structure is important when dealing with cities like that. I used to freely post in Denver with no deposits. If I did that now, I’d be a sitting duck. Even when I attempted to have 1 guy meet without a deposit, he kept flaking, 2 times a row. it’s like I have to be reminded a million times why I collect deposits now, despite the forum telling me no, no, no. Now, that’s just something totally different and disorganized. That’s NOT the time windows I refer to, at all. Especially since you went to his place. In my case, I was informing the guy ahead of time, and just having a reasonable conversation about coordinating time with him, before he even stepped foot out of his place to come to me. Who is the you, that you refer to? I relate to your concerns, however what “should be” versus what it actually is are 2 different things. A provider should be able to accommodate client’s schedules. However, at what cost? At what level? I had a client earlier today, asking if I could meet in the next hour…and he also added that he has too many people at his place so he needs to come to me. All understandable, it happens. But, who says I don’t also have a bunch of people at my place? Who said that? And since when did I need to be ready to accommodate “within the next hour” to host? I told him: I’m glad you reached out, but I’m not available within the next hour today, because (insert real life stuff). However, I can see you (insert time I can meet). He was like cool, got the basics and he sent the deposit…and we’re all good: to meet 2 days from now. So I understand accommodating someone’s schedule: IF the provider is given the appropriate time to do so. Which should not mean, unannounced.

Hmm, well I think you just have to be a little more patient. 30-60 minutes out of, how many years of your life? Though I understand being on time is important, When it matters. But I find many gay dudes who overly fixated on being on time; tend to want the world to revolve around them, when they snap their fingers. F your hunger, f your stretching and stress relieving routine: show up for me when I want you to. Example: I had planned to do a video shoot with a porn guy (in Denver in fact). We discussed in advance, to meet on a certain day. But that certain day was the day after I had just arrived. And I needed to go to the gym, because couple days prior: The hotel gym time was ruined because 15 kids decided to go to the pool, which was connected to the gym. Which they turned into a playground. So I had to cut my session early. Now: I arranged the hotel, and I drove in from out of town (luckily not just for him). I said I could do 5 p.m. He’s like: let’s do 4:30. Then around 2-3 p.m. he’s hinting he could meet even earlier. Meanwhile, I just had 2 bookings the night before and the morning of, I’m trying to adjust to a different city, I skipped breakfast already and needed a gym and proper food. So I offered my availability for the following days. He just flew off the hook, got a fit and cancelled on me. I told him, if you made the concessions today…just come, I don’t want to have you hanging. He’s just like nope, he’s not feeling it anymore. I was available for 4 more days and he couldn’t be bothered. Sometimes when you’re dealing with other people in a sexual capacity, you have to somewhat set aside what’s “proper”. Married guys likely don’t set timers to arrive in bed on time for sex. You’re dealing with something intimate and variable. Maybe the person is late because they need more time to prepare before sex, whether that be gym, food (I try not to eat too close to sessions anyway…but if I’m going to drink with a client I don’t want to be quickly inebriated on an empty stomach), etc. And if you’re dealing with a traveling provider, one needs to be even more lenient. Stop working on 30-60 minute windows. Plan to set aside an entire time of day. Clients will reserve all day to spend with their annoying family members that they can’t stand, but won’t even give an escort a 45 minute grace period.

That’s great, but you’re also comparing Canada to Denver. Which is in America. As far as I recall: Canada doesn’t prosecute sex work or do they operate on the Nordic model? I haven’t been to Montreal before (would love to, and Toronto) but you’re likely dealing with people with more European influence. America is full of rude flakes, whether you paying or not. And in the Midwest states, it’s actually courteous to ghost and flake on someone.

My Gawd. I just read that thread. I don’t mean to be harsh but, how does any of you even fall for such stupidity? Can people really not even tell the difference? His ad shows he hasn’t been on since May, 1st of all. 2nd, his ad is like 5 words talking about ride around and getting a drink. Even if I was fucking him for free, I would be dubious because there’s no real info or instructions in the ad. It goes to show that some clients only see pictures and are blind to anything else. It’s not because he didn’t have a phone number, it’s because the Ad is trash. I make sure to lay out as much info as I can, and fill every character allowance possible in my ad AND auto-reply. I also include my number in my auto-reply and website for the actual genius’ who read and click on the ad. My number is not hidden, it’s just that leaving it on without clicking the “registered users only” option often gets the lowest form of garbage and shit including clients who don’t/won’t/ will read and ignore it anyway and the Nigerian/Russian scammers talking about looking for a sugar daddy.

I can consider it misquote. But it would have been better to formulate it as a question versus laying it out like it’s facts. And what you mentioned didn’t have anything to do with taking deposits anyway. And you apologized but just rolled your eyes. How can I take your apology seriously at this point.