JB_Studio38

I respect that all, however…in the case you mentioned about the guy offering you a Venmo cancellation, I had someone just last week cancel because of some complications involving the same you mentioned. But did he offer me a Venmo cancellation? No. Basically brushed it off and then gave some comment about he can’t afford it and “maybe next time in town”. Because of his cancellation, I had to cancel a dermatology appointment I scored at the last minute, because it was in the same city the client was, in St. Louis which is 4 hours from me. But because my part-time roommate in St. Louis also had a death in the family, he had relative staying with him on emergency, and I couldn’t afford to drive out, and get a hotel for two days without assurance of an appointment. So let’s first acknowledge: clients cancelling PERIOD, has the possibilities of messing up an escorts ENTIRE PLANS. Once people get that in their heads, they can stop minimizing the importance of deposits. Get why first, some charge deposits, then we can discuss all the other stuff. I respect you as a provider, however at the end of the day I think you may forget a fact called “White privilege” (and that is a blanket description regardless of what ethnic background one may be from). Even though I won’t get deep into the factors of that, I think you sometimes post from a point of privilege, and don’t always see things from an alternative perspective. Acknowledging the fact that perhaps, certain providers may receive different treatment from people depending on where they are based at: is not going to be the same as you, a provider who’s set up in an affluent area of the country. At the end of the day, I think a person can have their preferences without necessarily criticizing another’s decision. I ask consultations for a reason. It’s not like I just woke up and said, “ooo let me charge $20 for consultations”. No. I did it because I was spending time after time after time, responding to people who never give anything back for my time. In fact I had stopped doing it for awhile until last week: waited around for an hour at 10-11 p.m. for a client when I was already about on my way home, only to tell me he’s not going to be ready to meet. Then I go and find a bunch of shit that other providers have wrote saying he did the same thing to them. I could have went home an hour ago that night, but I had a small amount of trust he would meet, considering we met before and he sent me the hotel address 🤦🏾‍♂️ Privilege exists when one group has something of value that is denied to others simply because of group membership and not based on what a person or group has done or failed to do Understanding Race and Privilege WWW.NASPONLINE.ORG Across the nation, children of all backgrounds are experiencing a time in which discussions about...

Good point, I have it all mentioned in my site as well that’s fairly easy to navigate. I just wouldn’t want to risk getting scolded for not following the rules. Just the other day I wrote something that I think said appointments, and the whole paragraph got wiped out

Back to your question (and I’m not trying to prove you wrong), I just want people to UNDERSTAND WHY. It’s not as easy as it seems. And lookie, that was faster than I thought:

I’m going to tell you why in a moment, but: I DO mention deposits in my profiles and my website. You may not see it on RentMen because they don’t allow rates, but on RentMasseur and Adam, I have mentioned this. I believe however, last time I tried to update my profile mentioning anything about pay/deposit verbatim it wasn’t included. However I have often mentioned something like a % is asked to confirm. And didn’t have any issues posting. Who said people don’t pay deposits because they don’t know how? It certainly wasn’t me. I was just letting someone know that it’s NOT a matter of it being difficult, and that it’s easy to do so with a number of apps or transfer services like Zelle. Now if it’s a factor or it being difficult due to the other things I mentioned: I don’t have much control over that. Just like I have no control over deposits that hotels and apartments want when I want to host clients 🤷🏾‍♂️ And don’t try to take comments I make, and try to use that in a way to make a point. Just because I said what I said, has nothing to do with deposits. I don’t know the providers you mentioned or where they are based, so I can’t compare. You just mentioned 3 variables that likely don’t compare: your local market, another visiting and one when you were traveling and you don’t even mention what cities they are. So how can I even compare that to anything? If they’re not in my specific area, dealing with the specific type of market I’m dealing with: then there’s no reason to bring it up at all. And slowest month ever, doesn’t mean I didn’t just see $1,000 in 2 days last weekend ☝ The problem is: I can’t make that kind of money anymore in my own region. I had to travel 5-6 hours to the next state just to do it. It seems like many of the gay population here is broke and on a budget, and like I told a client buddy of mine yesterday who lives in the area: there’s more and more fly by night guys keep advertising in this area. Yet 99% most of all inquiries here is a flake or a phony. It’s the perfect storm: few clients, too much competition. Deposits probably only have like 0.5% to do with it because, I try to book people without deposits on alternative sites, and they still don’t want to pay for anything. Or they want to pay $100-$120. Best to have the whole picture, before making statements that you don’t have all the info on. Slowest month is in regards to my home area of Kansas City. And even before I started charging deposits here, people were still not reliable, flaking on appointments, cancelling as I was about to walk out the door…any and everything. Then I would have to regularly travel long distances for appointments to other regions, and I didn’t want to take the risk going to places just based on a couple flirty texts. It’s not eharmony. It’s escorting. All of my clients all understand and have no issue with deposit. And don’t compare me to other providers. You keep making anecdotal comments, which can’t be verified. And anybody can lie and tell you they’re busy, to make you feel however they want you to feel. The real world is talking totally different: Also: The issue is: people are asking questions, yet people keep bringing up how they never have to, how others don’t, etc etc. Is it really end stop if people can’t just agree: “some providers will, some providers won’t. It does not imply in any way anything other than a personal preference, and each escort has the option to do whichever method they choose to do”. Simple as that.

Well that sounds moreso of a personal preference versus actual facts. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with making available plenty of travel locations. Especially within close range of one another. Even if I don’t go to all of them, there may be someone in at least a couple who’s willing to connect. The best way to resolve that is by reaching out to the person ahead of time. Just because other guys may have taken a day or two to respond doesn’t mean everyone is the same. It’s not necessarily that I’m focusing on just small cities, it’s simply what I have to work with based on where I am and where I’m nearby. I’m not close enough to a megapolis to actively post up in those, so I try to focus on areas I can get to within a couple or so hours. One that’s not going to involve hundreds of dollars before I even get my first client, to visit. As for ease of deposit: you can’t sit here and tell me this is difficult: There’s 2 buttons: pay/request and enter the amount. It’s not rocket science. A 5th grader can do it. There’s nothing difficult about a deposit, people do it very easily. The ones who don’t want to deposit and comment about how difficult it is: are often either non-committal, not trustworthy, not trusting of the provider, too paranoid within their marriage (and plenty married clients do fine to send deposits), or they just don’t have the best intent. I can’t sit around and be fixated about what other providers are doing or not doing to make it easier for clients. There’s also guys giving it up for free, if I were to worry about them making it easier for people, I would be not even doing this at all 🤷🏾‍♂️ And as I’ve said before: I’ve not done deposits in the past, and people were still on the same ole games and BS. Only difference now, I’m not on the games and BS. I’m not a newbie anymore who’s willing to take risks going places or setting up hotels, just to be cancelled on. And time and time again, the ones who either don’t pay deposits or I forget to ask: usually end up bailing anyway. I have nothing to lose based on the things I’ve experienced.

Sounds like you’re on the right track. I even talk to non escort friends about the deposit thing, and they all agree. Non of them would be driving to the next town or paying to book a room without a deposit. I used to do stuff like that, but times have changed. Many sites have shutdown, hookup apps have affected the market, men are flakier. And too: my risk level has changed. I used to like the thrill of maybe getting 5 clients, maybe getting 0. But that’s too much gambling and speculation for me. I need to do things fair and sensible. I would be foolish to do that now. It’s not necessary to get overly technical about it, but just the simple fact: the providers take a bigger risk in the situation and should be given assurance without feeling up against the wall to be a scam. I want to laugh with you, but don’t get it 🤔 Hard to tell in that specific exchange…and yeah some providers like myself, I may advertise in multiple cities. Some I’m WILLING to go to, others I actually will be passing thru. If I’m say: going to Phoenix and someone reaches out asking if I ever go to Las Vegas: it’s a chance the message may not have the urgency to immediately reply to. Or if it’s some place far out, I might bookmark it or reference my site instead. As for the clients asking rates/availability/location: it’s a fine line. If a client gets rate, availability and my address and then flakes out: that’s not just an inquiry. At that point I’m expecting for something to happen. Issue is, many providers don’t have a “head hunter” handling all the inquiries. Or a madam. So I assume when a client reaches out, he’s done his part to read/review my ad and website with rates and ready to book. When someone comes empty handed with no idea of anything, and I take the time to walk them through and get no booking out of it: that’s when I want to start asking for a consultation. At the end of the day, the phone bill doesn’t get paid answering inquiries that go nowhere. The hotel, rent and car insurance don’t get paid when inquiries go unreplied to either. Escorts and providers are still relying on people to follow thru. Answering texts aren’t going to pay for those things if they’re not getting a booking out of it.

Well asking a deposit shouldn’t be any less customer friendly than not asking for one. That should be fairly irrelevant. Besides I always say, if someone is going to pay anyway…what’s the issue? Assuming it’s not a scam but a verified, reputable provider with reviews and longevity. That said, this month alone I’ve had 3 clients who have sent deposits, and bailed on the booking. Thanks but, I’m not about to sit around and listen to people harp on about an escort scamming someone out of a deposit. If anything some people are scamming themselves out of a deposit 🤷🏾‍♂️

As a Pro or a Buyer? That said, since then I’ve put my profile back up…However it’s not been serving its use much in my current market. Few even contact via the number in profile and 9/10 are flakes and phonies anyway. Used it recently in a nearby state and seemed like I was going to get 3 appointments: non of them came thru. Plus, it’s nothing new but: many the ones on there don’t have a sense of price and often want to offer some lowball amount. I’m hanging into it for visibility but, I’ve found a different site megapersonals…which is just as quirky and 🤦🏾‍♂️ as Adam but: at least it’s free. Paying $30 a month just to deal with nonsense, is starting to be too much…

Canada does the same too… Crossing borders is just too much. You pretty much have to invent an entire legitimate reason to be going, and not even think about anything you might be doing. That said, I’ve lost interest in hopes of going to Canada. But if I were to do it again, definitely would stick to train or air, use a clean phone and device, have everything laid out. Like @BenjaminNicholas said, they want your whole life story, how much money you bringing, etc etc. Plus it’s too damn cold up there lol. If I want to go to Canada, I can just go to Minnesota or New York and that’s pretty much Canada for somebody from Florida lol.

Ha Ha Ha. Actually not… I already have a long list of upcoming travel planned. Last time I worked retail (circa 2005-06), the rule of “anyone who doesn’t show up the Friday after thanksgiving, gets fired”. And of course that was precisely the time I was scheduled to go with relatives to Miami 🤦🏾‍♂️ Fortunately I was able to keep my position, but I think I tapped out just before Christmas. The frantic women did it for me 🚯 1 lady wanted to make a snide remark with me about a towel at the register, goodbye 😂 That said, I wouldn’t blame someone for wanting to go that route. If I didn’t travel, I would be in deep shit right about now. My home market is just dead, dead, dead. I don’t think I’ve ever lived in a city, where things have been more consistently down for MONTHS than it has in Kansas City. And then like Los Angeles, I’m seeing more and more ads popping up (though not many gold ads, telling) yet nobody is even paying for nothing out there. Makes me wonder who’s all aware at how frugal and unreliable these men out here can be. Even some of the real clients, show little respect and dependability when dealing with escorts. It’s common some will attempt to book a session, do it very half ass and haphazard (don’t respond for hours and then last minute try to fit something in which rarely works). Then ghost or not contact for months. Unless like last week: I just happen to already be ready, in my car driving around and not doing much else with my time except: getting into the gym just 10 minutes ago. I’m just disgusted, dismayed. Disconcerted. Everything that starts with a D, I feel…and not the D I want to feel lol. I haven’t experienced such an extended period of slow biz until I came here…it used to be fairly tolerable, but lately it’s just gone straight to 🔥 in a 🧺 I see escorts posting, but I know not many actually booking 🤦🏾‍♂️ Once I finish my next tour: I’m hoping I save enough to make a strategic exit plan 🪂 next month.

I must say regardless of how asinine someone may think or feel about it: Come next week, my phone numbers will likely be down. Because last thing I wanna do is responding to Timewasters who are bored or angry with family over Thanksgiving and Black Friday, and want to take it out by using a provider for free entertainment. Absolutely not.

Sounds like a town I just went to in the “Ozarks” region. It’s Hot Springs central. Lot of affluent people and tourism. One of my clients has a Rolls Royce, just to give an idea of the kinda money there lol. Unfortunately, those type of towns you have to find the business…it’s not necessarily conveyor belt. Lots of straight, conservative…so takes a bit of patience. It’s good for an overnight or multi hour session planned ahead. When I was in San Diego earlier this year, I stayed a couple weeks just walking distance from the Tijuana coast. And just a skip and hop from the entry point. I did learn a lot of people travel to/from San Diego to work and live in “TJ”. But similar to what’s going on the Middle East, going to Mexico for tourism was highly discouraged. Unless you just have a house and resort, but I wasn’t about to go out there alone. Especially considering so many can get to San Diego and book me.

Hello, We are happy to inform you that the recently introduced restrictions of access to the explicit content on our platform have been removed. Registered users are now able to request access to the Private gallery of any performer, regardless of their membership plan. Moreover, all registered users will again have access to the explicit photos in the public galleries of other users. Premium rated photos in Premium galleries remain available to Premium users only. Regards WebAdmin *RentMen * Received an email earlier today (I was asking about this privately). Guess that answers the question. So basically you have to be a member of the site, doesn’t matter if paid or not. Perhaps they just want to keep tabs on who’s browsing nudes. So it’s basically: similar to being on Adam or Apps: you have to sign up to see nudes. I don’t think it’s a bad compromise. If you log out of your account, all the profiles will show G-rated only.

Gotcha… …I mean, I suppose. I don’t think talking about competition in a city though is whining or moaning. Like me for example, I’ve had to learn more than once: running out to the biggest city like it’s a designer label, was not the smart thing to do. I used to think, “ooo there’s LOTS OF ESCORTS THERE, I’LL DO GREAT”. I would end up spending more, and getting less. Less serious clients and less money. Now, I move more carefully and go to cities that aren’t as heavily competitive. I still go to the big cities, but with strategy and limitations. Like when I did DC, I only did it because friends were going. I didn’t do it solely as a biz trip, however I was doing it as a biz journey for myself. At the same time, some cities have next to 0 competition but equally don’t have much business either. Just have to be strategic, but doesn’t mean it’s whining if I say I would never work in Los Angeles without advanced booking, and Kansas City used to be good but now there’s so many more ads that I don’t even make much money here. That’s not whining, it’s just facts of the matter 🤷🏾‍♂️ I travel every week or 2, so I’m doing something about it at least.

It sounded like the poster was posting from a client standpoint though, and perhaps saying the competition he has of “picking” guys? Good point, and yes that was fun! First Denver and then D.C., might have to be somewhere 🏝️ 🏔️ else next year 😜 I get it though, when you’re traveling you have less time to arrange things and someone could potentially fall thru. I still think having some sort of imaginary time frame would help, but I also imagine some clients only take a certain amount of time in a day, and just reach out to a couple and talk to a couple. Though I generally seem to connect only with the ones who have been checking me out for awhile, and are pretty set with arranging a visit with me once I get to their area or mine.

Good point (I know, 2 weeks later but…) still. I’ll also say: if people, clients and the world wants positivity from providers specifically: they have to be willing to give out that same energy. And I’ve been noticing not many been practicing and giving that courtesy. For example my latest semi-cancellation I guess you could say, was someone I haven’t heard from in over 3 years. Last message was September 2020 and I told him then how I felt about him and was thru: Fast toward to yesterday, dude reaches out like it never happened just saying it’s been awhile and he wants a massage (and don’t ask me why I didn’t block him, I believe I did but it seems like each time get a new iPhone: blocked numbers aren’t transferred sometimes). And I have so many blocked numbers as it is… Well then he starts telling me about his dad who passed away, and then saying he has to make sure he’s going to have hotel to himself. Long story short, cancels the meet saying his sister is going to be staying with him: And people wonder why I talk about what I talk about. Sometimes I feel it’s a bit insensitive (not saying you) when I hear or read people trying to say we should all just keep a bubbly attitude and not post about anything unless it’s happy. But it has to be recognized how hard that is to do sometimes, when it’s people like this who aren’t reliable and don’t keep their word. Then they come around years later, and when I open a chance: they only do it again. So I have to stay on top of things I need to do to protect myself from people like this, because they give me migraines and mood swings. They bring unnecessary drama to my space and have no intention of being dependable.

That’s disheartening for sure. I don’t think it’s necessary to beat someone up over not willing to do a deposit. I could see where someone may want to defend their choice, or perhaps reference reviews to show that others have done so. But part of doing so is letting people know: it’s not a choice or something to be argued over. It’s a way of doing biz that works for me, regardless of how uncomfortable it may be for some clients. I know it’s more uncomfortable driving somewhere, and the client cancels mid-trip. I know it’s more uncomfortable booking a hotel room, and having people cancel and being unable to get a refund. On my most recent trip, I had 3 clients all send a deposit. Only one who didn’t, was someone I met before, however I almost wanted to because he lived about an hour away (and 6 hours from where I actually reside) Except he hasn’t done flaky things yet, and I also reached back out to him first so I was open to be flexible.

Must say, I doubt it’s anything “new” or unknown. LA is the west coast version level of competition that rivals New York. It’s always been that way since I’ve started. RentBoy back in the day used to have something like 300-400 profile. It’s one of the most, and likely most: competitor provider cities in the country. Doesn’t mean one can’t have fun, but from an escort perspective: all that candy 🍭 could give you a toothache if not properly approached. I would likely suggest just contacting one guy at a time, being in no particular rush however…having a time frame in mind. Today? What time of day? Next week, which days? Something of that line. Don’t reach out to multiple providers in a day. Be patient and wait for the guy to get back to you, and generally allow 24 hours to complete an exchange. 4 hours at minimum. 2 hours at absolute minimum. If you start messaging a bunch of guys and then pick the one you want, you’ll come off like a flake. This is not hookup apps or any of those other timewasting sites where wasting time is part of the deal. Timewasting is not part of the deal with escorting, as some like to believe. It’s just become a common situation that has not been properly mitigated by websites. Give each guy a chance to discuss what they offer, and make a proper yes or no plan. They may not be interested in you, you may not be interested in them. That’s why I started asking $20 for a consultation. It’s not to be greedy, it’s just I understand: it’s not always as simply as “rate? Come over now? Room number?” I have to set aside at least 30 minutes to figure out what a client wants or needs.

And not just that, clients have to be willing to understand why someone has boundaries to begin with. That’s the issue. They’re quick to think hiring someone else is the solution, but in reality they have to be a bit more discerning about who they’re picking. Every time I read or hear someone saying they don’t want to or never have/will pay a deposit (and sorry I know that’s redundant topic), I just 🤦🏾‍♂️ because it’s like: they don’t get it. I’ve tried and tried and tried to do things without one, and it never fails. By getting a deposit from especially a new client, I cut my chances exponentially of having my time and effort dashed. It’s not even a personal issue. It’s just common sense and experience. If I do without, it’s only if the client is very conveniently located: and is available to host AND/OR travel. But not these jokers who be like, “where are you?” can’t always be relied on to show up. And I’m definitely not coming out of pocket booking hotel rooms and driving long distances for that.

Actually, I’m always surprised by how little I have to travel when I’m in California (except for Los Angeles…in fact in the 3-4 times I stayed in the area, clients either wanted to come to me or, I found someone with a place and bunked with them for a couple/few days. I’ve yet to have an actual outcall pan out). However in San Diego and San Francisco, Outcalls were always within the same areas of Hillcrest/Castro/Oakland. I spend more time driving around the Midwest than I do in California. Even at $5 gas in California, once I got there I was barely doing much distance driving at all. Meanwhile in Kansas city, I’m spending $20-$30 every time I leave the house. The longest commutes were the traveling to California or going from one city to the next and getting caught in traffic. I’ve learned to just drive to/from California late at night after rush hour. I get what you’re saying. I want it to be fun, easy and drama free too. We both want the same things. So we’re on the same page. However, that’s not always what’s given back to us. No matter how bubbly you want it to be, there’s things that take place in the industry from clients that have to be addressed. And I’ve said it before: this forum isn’t necessarily an advertisement venue only. It’s for discussions. I know I probably complain more than…what some want to hear, but I feel better to do it here than to do it in my ads. People often say, they don’t want to read someone saying: “no timewasters, serious inquiries only”. Okay, fair enough. But this here I feel, is a place to actually have adult conversations beyond just fantasy and escape. What I want to hear: instead of talking about or being compared to other escorts who don’t pay my bills…is for clients to take accountability. Reliability. Responsibility. I notice, on this forum and from clients on RM, there seems to be a lack of all those things. Not taking accountability for the fact they requested an appointment that the provider may have took seriously, no reliability for the appointment they requested that the provider may have taken seriously, and no responsibility for the fact that…they requested an appointment and the provider likely took them seriously. And what did they do? Ghost. Flake. Cancel. No show. Don’t respond to messages. Play bullshit games and then play the same bullshit game again a few months later like I wouldn’t remember it happened. Like this one guy on RMasseur: First of all, he can’t even say my name. Who the fuck is guy? My name is not guy. It sounds like he sends the same message to…every guy. And those are just two messages. Not sure what happened to his previous messages (I’ve upgraded iPhones about 3 times and sometimes messages get lost), but I remember this guy previously playing games with me, and him being an asshole when I requested a cancellation fee. That’s why I kept my messages very short with him. But then he fails to reply, so now he’s blocked on my phone and RentMasseur. Then, these same people get an attitude and want to fight with me when I tell them: “you owe me a cancellation fee.” But then they want to argue like they never booked anything in the first place. Then why the FUCK are you contacting me in the first place if you didn’t want to book anything? Like…are they mentally ill or just intentionally insulting? It’s got to be one or the other. It can’t be neither because, it doesn’t make sense why a normal person would do stuff like that. Period. And that’s the thing. Clients want us to all be a certain way, yet rare so I see them fighting for themselves like we fight for ourselves. More clients need to be out marching and demanding legalization. In Texas, there should have been an uprising. Not just a, “It’s illegal now so I’m just going to waste a bunch of escorts time and not book anything, just to be safe.” Where’s the clients keeping their appointments and not wasting provider’s time with endless inquiries that never go anywhere? Don’t compare and contrast, be the example. Because guess what? It’s a lot of gay guys who don’t charge for their time and etc etc. does that mean I should be like them and also not charge? That’s about as silly as comparing an escort to what other escorts do, and I don’t like when people do that. Like some will say: “you’re the first guy to ever ask me a deposit”. Well I’m also one of the only Black escorts advertising in a section of town which has a large convention presence, to begin with. And one of the few consistent ones in a town that consistently only has White and Latino advertisers posting. What point are they trying to make that’s supposed to persuade me into believing I need to conform to some invisible standard of what a provider “should” do?

Having familiarity with Dallas myself: it’s definitely not as competitive as NYC…but has over the years grown to be nearly as competitive as San Diego. I started there back when there were only 10 escorts in Dallas. Now there’s like, 70? With a mix of traveling and locals. Also, keep in mind that buying sex work in Texas is now considered (in a loosely defined way) a felony. I know that’s not fun to talk about, but it’s always good to be aware of what’s being passed in legislation and how that could affect potential client’s behavior and your bottom line. No surprise to me because Texas and Dallas can be very conservative, and known for being Bible 📖 thumping state. Some of the largest mega churches in the nation, are located in Texas. Nothing wrong with the Bible or churches, it’s just that when it becomes a weapon to disenfranchise people, that’s the problem. One can argue that’s good for business, catching the sinners on their days off: but do you really want to deal with that? Meh, bleh. How do you know that? Of course they may not complain directly to you or anyone else about their clients, but you never know what they talk about behind closed doors. They probably don’t even post on here, because they don’t want to give that impression…as they shouldn’t if they aren’t in a position to share and discuss such things without fear of criticism. But you can’t make a blanket statement to imply certain providers never contend with clients, hotel costs or cancellations. You can’t be pejorative towards those who might not like, but want to change or improve certain things in the business. Sure YOU may not HEAR these people talk about such things, but are you with them 24/7, watching what they do to handle the situations that all providers face? Because I’ve been in the gay scene for awhile…I know what goes on behind closed doors. Anyone can make you to think, what they want you to think. And even if you don’t hear it from them, I’ve spoken to clients who have a different story to tell. So don’t assume there’s “perfect” guys out there who have it all together. You’re just getting a glimpse. There’s not a single guy out there in the gay community that I know: who isn’t dealing with a personal challenge of sorts, but on the outside and in conversations: portrays like they have it all together. Everybody has problems. Which is okay. But don’t make it like the guys who may be in better shape financially or getting more clients, are somehow immune to the issues at hand and never complain. They probably just never complain to you. I only say that because it’s a lot of dudes out there putting on this fake facade, and then look down on those who may be going thru something. That doesn’t intimidate me. People need to be more real, especially gay people: and uplift each other, not put one another down.

That’s always good practice. However, what I contended with last week was just downright bizarre. It gets to a point where, it becomes silly and immature. Game over for the flakes and bullshit. Thats why I’m just like, fuck it. I’m not doing the book a hotel and hope I have 5-6 clients per trip thing anymore. That’s 2012 strategy. People these days aren’t reliable enough, to trust that is going to work. I feel the pandemic has changed sex work to where, numbers don’t matter anymore. It’s all about loyalty and quality. Going forward it’s 1 or maybe 2 clients max in a day, and not even everyday: when I travel. I’ve already started adjusting my ads to imply I only want 1.5 to 2 hour visits minimum when I host. I’m trying hard not to resort to only $500 and higher/per session meets. I mean, I was given that just the other day…So it’s not out of this world, but I don’t want to alienate a large part of the market.

Well I was able to catch a break and woosah 🧘🏾‍♂️ over the weekend and squeeze in a 1st timer and a return visitor, and rescheduled one of my cancellations who booked me a room in his city. Exactly what I’ve been asking the universe for. Finally. However, I am still motivated to make (more) changes due to the number of flakes and phonies. Had someone off adam4adam who I was considering to meet without a deposit. Texted the first part of the day, no response around the time we set to meet. And nothing the next day when I seen him online 🤦🏾‍♂️ As for big city/small city: I don’t know. The answer seems obvious but, the bigger cities aren’t always the better results. In fact I was in DC back in September, I was disappointed. Luckily I had friend’s hotel downtown so didn’t spend but 1 night on a hotel room the 5 days I was there, but other than 2 trusted guys on here 😉: I didn’t get any bookings. I was like, what the hell? In DC? I’ve done other trips to DC in the past and some were better, some weren’t. DC seems very dependent on how politics are looking (which is crap at the moment it seems). I might of went too close to after Labor Day, and not enough advance notice (I was meeting friends short notice on their conference schedule). I would have preferred to advertise for a couple weeks more ahead than I did 🤷🏾‍♂️ I always assume it’s best to do it the day prior? Seems after 3-4-5 p.m. the rates can go up. But I think I have noticed every so often, a price will go down mid afternoon. so I’ll try to look more for it. For me though, it’s not just the price part. Even if I get a perfect steal on a 5 star hotel for $50 (and due to 98% of “inquiries” out there these days being phonies: I’ve stopped using the money saving 3rd party discount websites: so that’ll likely never happen) if nobody shows up the day or 2 I’m there: that’s not favorable. To me, getting a hotel is like a photographer renting a studio and having no models show up. That’s time away from home, time spent waiting around bored, and money spent. There’s nothing more depressing than a provider going to get a room, and the people who were expected to show: don’t. And I had to pop off on like 2-3 bookings last week because of that. Then they get an attitude with me, and I’m like wait: you’re the one who initiated all this. By being a fake: they’re not just wasting my time, they’re wasting my money and entire schedule. Thats why going forward, I’m not even going to host in hotels locally for less than 2 hour sessions. Whether they need the whole 2 hours or not. And when traveling, I’m definitely going to have to stick with deposits as usual when hosting. But I may just start making sure all my first day in City arrival bookings, are Outcalls. I did that couple weeks ago in another town, where I asked the client to book the room: and it just got the whole trip off to the right start. I did the booking, then stayed at a friend’s place.

Have you worked there before? If so: try it out and see. But my experience has been, traveling there for a couple days wasn’t so great and I often would feel it wasn’t a good market. But earlier this year I stayed for like 2 weeks and was able to meet a handful of clients. Similar to NYC, San Diego is also a competitive market. It may have fewer than NYC, but it’s still a lot compared to the places I tend to go where there may only be a handful of guys advertising. Not to mention, it’s been discussed San Diego is “results may vary” in my opinion. You’re dealing with a lot of Navy (active duty don’t “typically” tend to pay except, but retirees more likely will), and college (same but, there’s a lot of money rich college students in SD too). The thing I liked the most with SD was the gay bar scene. I was like wooooooo. A Wednesday night in San Diego is busier than the busiest night in some of these Midwest cities. The line was down the street, and it was already shoulder to shoulder inside. It’s just hard to partake in that every night, when the goal is to earn and try to save money to go back home with.

And another thing: I wish people would stop saying, “well you don’t have to come all the way here/book a room JUST FOR ME.” Well who said I was?? And even if I was, why ask me if/when I’m coming to a city if you don’t want to be the reason for it? Why come off so contradictory. You may not be the only reason but, you may be the reason I’m coming that particular day or hour…When I may want to come at a different time if it were my decision. I would like to think clients trust that we are smart enough to have a secondary purpose for traveling to a city or booking a room. Regardless if that’s to book other clients or sightseeing personal venture. But that shouldn’t mean they get to be loosey goosey about meeting, and be left with 0 obligation to keep their word. Couple years ago I drove from St. Louis downtown (right on Illinois border) to Indianapolis (1 hour time change) just to see 1 client who was hosting. I didn’t have a desire to stay in Indianapolis and “work inquiries”, so I went to see him for a 2 hour booking, and turned around and came back that same night. So what if I went just to see him, I got paid and can make my own decisions on how much more I want to or don’t want to do, beyond that. I used to travel 13 hours to a small town, just to see one client for overnights every summer. But I would halfway stop over in a bigger city along the way. So even though I was going there just for him, I was able to add onto what I was getting…and it was always an advantage.