JB_Studio38

First and foremost: RentMen won’t allow that. They will shut that down, real quick. We can’t do photos of texts, or barely have texts in our photos unless it’s a light watermark with something of permission. Part of why I went thru the process of building a website, even something simple and not necessarily professionally built: is because I needed to get my message out there. These websites censor us so much. I almost can’t fault the clients too much because: the websites don’t explain much at all. I have to constantly tell clients: “YES MY AD IS APPEARING IN YOUR CITY BECAUSE I’M ADVERTISING IN ADVANCE OF MY ARRIVAL.” They think it’s as easy as: his ad is up, so he must be here today. Magically. That’s regardless whether I have dates or not. On my website, I can write paragraphs longer than the character count that’s allowed on the ads.

And that’s understandable. There’s some clients who I can genuinely understand having to cancel here and there when needed. I try to extend the same grace, as I may need when I have to cancel things, even unrelated to clients. I even allow one of my clients to fantasy text me, even though he hasn’t booked a session since 2020. But he’s hired me for so many overnights, that he’s on my “lifetime” standby status lol. I wish he’d just work up and re-book again some point. But I can pick up between genuine cancels, and just being passive aggressive. In the 2 cases I mentioned, those were clearly passive aggressive moves. One definitely had no basis to cancel, and the other: couldn’t have just found out at 6:30 in the morning that he couldn’t include my service with his bills. Plus, that’s too early in the morning to be waking me up with bad news. It’s sad because, I really did like that particular guy. He had a nice dick, nice ass, talented mouth, was a good host at his place…everything was fine. But he also took me thru a lot of cancel/book/cancel/cancel book patterns. Then came around with the new boyfriend story AFTER we had #1 just prior agreed on meeting every 2 weeks #2 going to a local resort in the state (and he should have been cut off long time ago, just for that). That goes beyond an understanding escort, to being subjected to emotional labor. I can’t be bothered with someone who lies, can’t keep their word, plays games with me, etc. People wonder why I feel strongly about this topic, but they don’t always know the full story. That’s why I post copy of messages. It’s not to be messy or expose the client or disclose privacy, but when you can actually anonymously see what’s going on: maybe there can be a better understanding.

I posted in San Antonio during Craigslist and m4rn time. It was better at that time. However, most visits were generally starting around $60-$150. At that price, one could stay busy. But when I tried to work up to longer bookings: it just wouldn’t be as busy. So San Antonio was one of my more challenging cities to live in: Though at least people showed up. If they couldn’t afford it, they would just say it. I was doing higher volume, but it got to be a bit much having ins/outs of my place all week. I prefer relaxed, planned ahead bookings. I took a lot of last minute stuff back then, and it just didn’t seem like there was much acceptance to higher rates. And Houston: went for the first time back in May, since 2010. I didn’t plan far enough ahead for a Memorial Day weekend, ended up disappointed. It was great to be in a big real city for a change, but it was just nothing happening on the lines. I gave it two days, and got outta there.

I quickly glanced at all what you wrote, in a 5 second time frame. Because that’s all you’re getting from me at this point. It’s nothing about owning the site or thread, it’s simply me informing you that you have the option to not post or read here if you don’t like it. This thread was not designed to address you, and if you’re not even the type of client I’m referring to: it shouldn’t even apply to you at all. So I don’t understand where your animosity is coming from. You’re inserting your opinion and annoyance where it’s not required. I appreciate wholeheartedly the advice you have given, however if you season it with criticism and abrasive tone: I don’t have to receive it. That’s my choice, just like it’s your choice to leave this particular thread. You can stay on the forum all you want. But what you’re not going to do, is keep coming for me after I told you, I’m not going to agree if you can’t talk to me respectfully ☝️ If you want to stay here and continue arguing, we can do that too. But, that’s contradictory to the message you’re trying to give to me. And I really don’t have time to do all that. I had the thread hidden for a day, to cool things down. Now you just bringing the heat back. At this point, I’m just not going to respond to you anymore. I’ve said what I had to say:

Typical Nordic model…

What days were that? And what makes it any less now than then? You’re not implying that racial discussions constitutes someone needing to feel disconnected, right? I 100% get that last part. I concur. And it also applies to the forum and I also. They can’t change if I feel a certain way about how I’m being treated by clients. Take for example this passive aggressive situation with a client the other day. Now mind you, last month he “bailed” on an appointment even after sending me a deposit, because I was expecting him at the hour he wanted to meet. But then he told me, “mid September” he would be available again. But now he’s singing a whole other tune: (mind you I wasn’t referring to another client’s appointment, it was just a service appointment that I could have easily rescheduled.) And I know I’m being more proactive than what’s typically expected escorts to do: but I try to be so, follow back up, agree to a time etc. But instead of just being upfront that he doesn’t want to do it, he strings me along, makes up excuses, etc. So clearly he’s not reliable so, I’ll take the advice and just stop engaging. And I’ll add another point: I can understand if I was working in a sales job that involved soliciting/cold calling new clients. In those situations, you have to really have a thick skin and patience, and that’s why I left “sales” jobs back in 2009 and never looked back. I even tried it again after a couple years break, and ended up quitting again within a couple months, and sticking with escorting. However, these guys are contacting and initiating with me. In both situations including the original post where I put the guy on blast: they contacted me first. I was minding my own business not expecting a penny of their money, until they started harassing me and then flaking out. THAT is why I got mad and THAT is why I put them both on blast. At this point, the only welcome that’s being worn out: is yours in this thread. So you can go ahead and escort yourself out. And while the discussion of therapy is being thrown around: let me share some tips with you: you don’t have to insert yourself here if you don’t like the topic. I didn’t invite you to respond, if it’s not something you want to do. I never quoted your name or messaged you to respond. I don’t even know who you are, why are you even discussing what I’ve been doing for years? It shouldn’t even matter. Focus on controlling what you can control, which is not coming here trying to disparage me…and that’s one less argument you have to hear about. It’ll benefit you AND me. And that goes for anybody. It’s a million other threads to respond and read. You don’t have to throw shade on my discussion, which is doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to better the situation and only serving to ignore and minimize the issue. So please, leave. It’s nothing else to talk about ☮️ ✌

I thought it had a particular reference to hiring male providers, but it doesn’t say. Also when it say “on going investigation”, it almost sound like something may have happened or been going on in the area to initiate that.

The other thing too: right now is just a challenging time to be starting into the biz. Even though nobody talks about it much here, there’s other forums out there where sex workers have been lamenting almost daily about how slow it’s been. Idk about Canadian economy but, down here it’s a jungle. Despite everyone still seemingly doing well out in public: the sex work and other niche industries aren’t. I just had a friend in San Diego send me this (but at least it’s only 10 cents extra for premium. In some places, it’s more like 50 to even $1.00 extra) And then, all my favorite businesses are charging more for their stuff, yet certain clients be trying to get me to work for less. Or, not a dollar more. Like WTF is that? It’s a slap in the face. Companies are taking more of what I earn from clients, yet sex workers are expected to be okay to see clients for less money, all the while having fewer clients. Make it make sense 🤷🏾‍♂️ On top of that, you have an influx of new and traveling sex workers in markets that don’t even be paying that well in the first place. Just like I said before about Kansas City/St. Louis: lots of providers, few actually paying. The only reason I stay advertising is because, I’m already established. I can still get the bookings, and ask what I like because I have the reviews and profile to command it. I also do genuinely enjoy the work. Just not so much the shoplifters. At the same time, soon as I get a full time place: I’m definitely looking at some other opportunities…

Patience grasshopper… 2 months is hardly long of a time. I probably waited 2 years before seeing my first review, and for awhile even after it still took some time. probably better to keep your profile and just update it, versus getting a new one. You want to stay consistent. Also try to feel the person out, before asking for a review. The last minute wham bam, thankyou sir, might not be into reviews. But someone you planned ahead with may be moreso. I also don’t ask for it in person, as I don’t want to corner anyone. Better to let it seem “suggested” but highly appreciated.

Good grief, that’s got to be annoying for sure. I’m pretty much contending with the same thing, in my area. The flakes ❄️ seem to come in 3s when you need them the least 🤦🏾‍♂️ Never been to Canada “officially”, but I have heard Montreal is more French and Toronto more “New Yorkish” I guess? That said, clients ask me often what’s my best and worst cities. I always reply: there are non. A City that was great and fully booked on 1 trip, can be dead on the next trip. However I can say: there are some cities I just can’t stand, because the inquiries are usually unreliable or just as you mentioned. For example, in my home market I often have to deal with shit like this: no matter how professional and consistent to following up with them, they always have an excuse. One person even sent me a deposit last month, but we never got to meet because he was too limited on time. Yet he’s been contacting me for MONTHS trying to plan a booking, but always flakes off. It’s the same thing I was discussing in my “epidemic” thread. I’m trying to take the advice of my fellows and just ignore them, when they come with the non sense. And then people want to talk about someone needing therapy. No. what we need is more people willing to stand up and hit the picket 🪧 lines like all these other industries are doing, and demand better. No need to ostracize your fellow worker in another city, who may be dealing with a rough patch.

Update: decided to request a change to this thread because I didn’t want it to just be passed off as another rant/complaint. When I think about it, it is an actual epidemic within the industry. There shouldn’t be this expectation that, a provider’s time is less important to that of a client: and trying to speak and think for a provider should not be considered acceptable. Hopefully we can all leave off on a positive note, with a better understanding of the message 📝

Well, this is exactly what I had pushed and projected would be the case, And part of that “strike” I had proposed not long ago. Providers are tired of guys looking at pics and not booking. And providers are also tired of these incessant spam texts day in/day out talking about painting a mural of us, offering a text buddy, a sugar daddy: just about everything besides actually putting money into our hands or accounts. So Hollywood is off strike, but we’re on it…Not necessarily verbatim in the same way, but the “strike” is moreso a demand from the customers to either start paying up, and stop playing around: or less free jerk material. And it’s also: until RentMen gives the option to get paid for private pics, don’t expect everyone to want to unlock for free… It’s funny how RentMasseur doesn’t allow any public nude pics, yet it seems just about every person who contacts me by phone: is from RentMasseur. On RentMen, they private message in droves, but the turnover to text that I request, most don’t do it.

Funnily enough, I usually debate whether to turn my phone on or off for Black Friday. I wonder why 🤔

And I have done certain things to make solutions accordingly. But to insinuate a set of solutions is immediately attainable per one’s circumstances, is a bit assumptive. Just like the article above I stated: change the pity to empathy. But if that’s how you feel, then that’s on you. You don’t have to understand, you already said you could never be an escort and prefer to stick with massage. That’s great. But I don’t think that could be used as a “solution” on a site that’s called “company of men”. So if you’re going to get snappy and start being condescending towards me, you can leave too. Here’s the door 🚪 and please don’t wish me best of luck if you don’t really mean it. The whole point of this thread is addressing passive aggressiveness, and you’re epitomizing that by leaving off with that, after you just insulted me. Don’t ✋🏾

There is no, “charge his account” button on cash app. The only way to wipe any account, is to add cash to your own cash app from your bank account. I try to imply this with clients who use apps or my site. Also: there’s many “text buddy” and “sugar daddy” scammers who contact me by text daily, even multiple times daily. This is another reason I have to regularly remove my phone number from my RentMen ad, and hope clients click my website or send me a messenger which delivers my auto-reply. I recently came up with a clever line in my ad, to further let people know: you can trust me: Meet one of RentMen’s longest 🍌 running advertiser, since 2009! So when someone says something equally clever like: “I’m not going to send money to a stranger”, I’ll know what to do 🚪 ☎️

Thanks for the tips. I appreciate what you’re saying but, I can’t only hear one person’s side and then expect it to speak for each particular situation. I also still say: there’s no getting defensive, but rather I’m answering the questions and comments that are being given. If someone misinterprets something I say, or do: I have the option to address and/or give my take on that. That’s why it’s a forum, unless I just post a topic and run off and never respond to anyone. Which some do. But I’m also not going to just sit back and say: “you’re right you’re right” to everyone. Not that a person is “wrong”, but maybe misinterpreted. Just like I mentioned about the therapy statement that you said: I have friends who have gone to therapists, but fact is: people are going to be who they are regardless. That’s the thing that you, and a few others just need to accept. You’re not necessarily going to change my reaction or perspective about a particular client. I have my way of dealing with them, to ensure I make it clear: it’s over and done with. Don’t come back around next year or the year after and think it’s going to be all good. As for the rest: I agree with what I need to do. I do plan to move, in fact I have a client who owns rentals in a neighboring state: and last we met we discussed my desire to leave this area. I got in contact with him yesterday, and hopefully the ball can get rolling. But even if it doesn’t, I’m still looking. The other thing is: telling me to move without giving me the means to do it, doesn’t help either. I know I need to move. Yes, I hate my home market. I have never traveled more in my life, than I have since I moved here. I mostly never fully unpack my bags because I already have another trip coming up. The days I try to stay here, all I do is deal with timewasters, people who make fake appointments, last minute appointments that I can rarely accommodate: it’s a racket. And all that traveling makes it hard to save money. It’s really been a merry go round to an extent. Normally I would be able to use proceeds from travel to save and make a move: But RentMen, RentMasseur and Adam4Adam are SLOW ever since the political climate has become toxic. Take for example this real text from a former client (and he’s far from broke; Edited for privacy and censorship obviously): So where am I going to get the money to pack up, uhaul, put a down payment, transfer vehicles, and do ALL of that: when you see right here: I lost $400 between 2 clients, in one DAY. One guy agreed to pay my regular rate $250, the other wanted just my basic $150 rate. And both cancelled on me Sunday. Neither was my fault in any way. I don’t care how people make it seem like the guy didn’t have an exact time, etc etc. He knew what he was doing, being a liar. Now, that’s $400 I don’t have to relocate with. So now: if I’m supposed to move in 30-60 days, where am I going to get that money? That’s what I’m saying: you’re telling me everything that worked for you: that’s great. It worked for me too, I wasn’t always in this position. I been sex working since 2009. I’ve had several apartments, in different cities. I even had a condo for 5 years in Denver. I paid so much for it, I could have practically brought it. But it wasn’t for sale and then, goodbye Rentboy and hello rent prices skyrocking. And guess where that left me? Figure that one out… Don’t look at me now like I’m struggling and have nothing going on, or don’t know how to manage my life. That’s not the USUAL routine. That’s only the current moment, and that’s because of having to work in a market that literally hates sex workers. Like yes: In Kansas City these people literally HATE SEX WORKERS. I hear it all the time from friends, men on hookup apps in the area. They talk about us derogatory, they’re interested until any mention of payment is brought up, the “potential” clients are just the worse inconsiderate types I’ve encountered. It’s easily the worst place I ever marketed in my life (albeit almost a tie with Nashville which however used to be quite decent for me during the time I lived there). But they were also hit with the rental crisis and influx of escorts. And that’s the thing: even under performing markets like Kansas City are filled to excess with escorts, so everybody is all trying to reach the same decent clients who are here. Or, the only ones doing good happen to be the guys lucky enough to marry an older well off White guy (which is very common I see in this area). Many minorities in this part of the Midwest partner up or marry much older White guys with money, and do their BEST to keep other Black men away from them, unless it’s like their trusted trusted guys from high school: even if they are 30 and 40 years old. I’m just over it. I talked to my therapist so many times, that there was nothing else to talk about. Only suggestion he made that was similar, was consider looking for other sources, and worked with me to find things I would like: but But I’ve also had jobs PRIOR to being an escort, and they had not much promise than some of these flaky clients have. Many companies hire an influx of semi-qualified candidates, then use them for a few months/couple years, only to drop them once their busy season is over. Which is okay if that’s what you’re looking for but: that’s a lot of commitment to something that’s temporary. Many jobs want your whole life, each and every day: but don’t want you to depend on them “too much”. Because: it’s “at will”. I have an idea and suggestion right now: how about we raise some money TONIGHT to help me relocate, so I can stop dealing with what I am dealing with. Then I can stop talking about it here 🙂 In the meantime, I’m thinking about removing all of my nudes on RentMen, and making them only available for rent on my website. That way I can have an extra source of income, versus relying on in person visits only. Just put my nudes on sale. If people want to start donating $100, $500, $1,000 to my cash app: it can be used to help me fund a move. Because at this point, with the shit I’ve been dealing with: I don’t have the means to move. Like I said, I’m hoping a client of mine who owns some rentals, can come up with something. If so, I might be moving to Arkansas ✌ I’m tired of over saturated, cesspool markets where there’s nothing but flakes and unreliable.Then you have 20 escorts being contacted all at once by the same flakes at the same time ✋🏾

Interesting read. At the same time: I should have better prepared for the typical nonsense that often arises when I have re-market back in my home base area. I should have known better than to make a rookie mistake like I did, but I’m looking forward from here. And the only reason I even took that route that I did, by posting: is because this person descended from being a potential client to: okay this guy is just fucking with me, and it shows from TWO prior messages that he either can’t make up his mind, or is very inconsiderate. I don’t get bent out of shape about clients looking at my profile and not booking, or asking reasonable questions with intention to book. But I draw the line at those who know better: they didn’t do it once, or twice. For every person who says I’m not this or that or need to do this or that with my life: apply that to every person who does the things I mention above. It’s funny how people always want to say what I need to do, but never make an honest assembly about those who instigate the situation: need to do. And in my case, I’m usually trucking along just fine minding my business…doing what I need to do and focusing on good clients: then some bozo clown (not referring to bozoTclown here) wants to come around and be childish. I don’t have time for that. And I definitely don’t have time to be reading texts at 6 fucking 30 in the morning, talking about he need to cancel a booking because he doesn’t want to part with the money.

Well you’ve just included DOZENS of other providers, many who on this board who are over 30, 40, even 50 and 60 and are still in the biz. I definitely don’t “feel” old, I don’t look old, I’m still bagging 20 year olds and have clients who are in college even. So, you really need to lay-off that mentality. 36 is not “old” and if anything, it levels out the playing field because, as a Top; many clients want an older nature guy, they don’t want to get fucked by someone barely out of high school (hopefully, I mean…I would think). The escort shelf life for Tops is likely a bit longer, I can be 70 years old, and still be escorting as a top and I guarantee I would still have some young guys wanting me. I know for a fact because: I just had a (real and in person) client tell me this the other week. He’s 75 and has young guys hitting him up all the time. And I appreciate the career advice but, reserve that for someone who’s asks for it: please.

Well, thanks? I guess 🤨 I mean yeah…I used to talk about race more but, it’s a bit deeper and more complex than that. Plus, I got tired of going down the race rabbit hole, that wasn’t necessarily pertinent to the specific situation at hand. Like for example, I could easily have made this title to: a racist client stood me up. But then, that solves the issue prematurely without really addressing the other factors. When in reality, it was an inconsiderate, impatient client who stood me up: but he probably does treat other Black prospects that way too. Which is a very real aspect of racism. I’ve found that attitude from guys rife, specifically in certain places in the Midwest, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, and Texas. But it’s all over the country pretty much. You can’t come off rude and condescending, then expect to be in the mood to sleep together. Why some guys like to make their potential sex quest upset, is beyond me. But I think it would be easier to address the impatient and inconsiderate part, before trying to solve the racist part because: the latter is something one needs to work on within and can take WORK to resolve, whereas the former directly affects my scheduling and our communication IN that moment. I can’t book someone who thinks I’m supposed to show up MOMENTS after he works up the courage to FINALLY contact me again. After a lousy A4A message where he essentially semi-flaked twice, and then was making passive aggressive statements to try to “think ahead of me” like he suddenly has my whole life figured out. Dude, calm down and have a seat 🪑 You haven’t even known me 24 hours ✋🏾 Which leads to the next article, because I’m just about done. I’m going to let articles speak for me. Just replace every line that says “women”, with “male escorts/masseurs” No More Last Minute Dates! | Dee's Dating Diary DEESDATINGDIARY.COM More and more men seem to think it is okay to ask women out on a date with less than 30 minutes notice! While I...

When Should Businesses Require a Deposit? WWW.BUSINESS.COM Upfront deposits show customers you're providing something of value. Learn when to require a deposit and... When you’re an employee, you don’t have to worry about invoicing for your work. Collecting customer payments is someone else’s job and you receive a paycheck regularly to compensate you for your work. However, small business owners don’t have this luxury. They provide the service and must invoice clients and collect payments. They often put in a significant amount of work and investment upfront, shouldering all the risk and trusting their clients will pay them. Many freelancers, independent contractors and small business owners require an upfront deposit to protect their interests. We’ll examine circumstances where requiring a deposit is a good idea and share best practices for collecting upfront payments.

A psychology expert shares 7 toxic signs of a passive-aggressive person: 'They look for fellow haters' WWW.CNBC.COM Passive-aggressive behavior "pollutes the work environment," says Stefan Falk, a leadership...

What Is Black Fatigue, and How Can We Protect… GREATERGOOD.BERKELEY.EDU Here are eight tips for organizations embarking on a diversity, equity, and inclusion process. You cannot empathize if you do not know anything about the person or group with whom you wish to offer empathy. You can sympathize, which often leads to pity and patronization. Empathy takes work. When you can empathize, you will be more likely to take action. So the person who said, “I pity you”…please don’t.

Dealing with Difficult Clients RESPECTQLD.ORG.AU Most clients are easygoing and easily led by a sex worker when they feel that they are getting the services they... Clients who insult workers Clients can be insulting when they are in your company, on the phone, in an email and on forums. Sounds familiar 🤔

Nobody is fighting, until you said what you said. And those “potentials” you refer to weren’t potentials at all. They were about as real of clients as was mentioned in this thread And I included about how some escorts out there aren’t real either. You may not think there’s been no resolution, but it’s already happened. Don’t take a simple rant on the forum, to imply there’s been no solution. That’s just the steam coming from the production. If you really want to help like you say you do, just contact the people on the list I’m going to formulate for you…who you should be referring to therapy. Talk is cheap. If you’re going to suggest therapy for one, suggest for all who are involved. Because it takes 2 to tango. Why don’t you go find an article online: about passive aggressive behavior, how to respect customers/self employed people, and post it here. You doing all that barking but not doing shit encouraging or uplifting of value. Since you can’t, I will: give me a few minutes.

Bro please, keep that well wish to yourself because you don’t mean it. Especially after everything you just said above that. Don’t come to me with that fake well wish, and you lie in your sincerity. You clearly have animosity against me, and it shows in your post. You can’t even make up your mind whether you’re for me or against me. You know the stuff I say is accurate, but you only side with the parts that you can relate with. Yet, you disparage my business model, and have no basis on anything directly relating to what I say. You don’t have to defend me. Leave. I can do that all on my own. I’m not here to have you defend me. Sorry you were mistaken. You don’t even know the half of everything. Go to my RentMen ad right now, and see all the good reviews. What circles are you talking about? I can talk about whatever I want to talk about. Other posters like @Simon Suraciand @BenjaminNicholas are actually using factual and informative dialogue that understands what I’m dealing with, and takes that into account. It’s not always about you, me or a common denominator. I have a right to express things in a way how I feel it needs to be said, and I said it exactly how I wanted. Some of these guys do come off impatient, and needy and passive aggressive. But I don’t need them to use that as leverage while they dangle money and then try to take it away from me. I don’t need them. For every client who falls thru, I always find someone else to replace. But these websites have done very little to help us avoid it. They just want our money every month, and collect. I’m being innovative and coming up with strategies to help, and you have the audacity to make a joke about: I’m losing prospective clients because they don’t want to adhere to my deposit guidelines.” I never said that. You putting words in my mouth. My issue with you is, your tone is ratchet to me, and you’re coming at me condescending and trying to put me down. And I’m not even with it anymore. I’m definitely not going to let you do that. So you can see your way out, please. Leave…