JB_Studio38

Self professed fan of red lobster 🦞 here 👍🏾 lol. I’m already platinum this year, though I think it’s more year to date. I know some don’t like it but, I will say: not all locations are the same and it depends what you get. I’ve been to red lobster everywhere from the east to west coast. Some have been great, others: like in areas that aren’t really prime on tourism, or the people don’t seem to be into sea/lake food: aren’t. There’s also a $20 snow crab platter that I found to actually be quite good. Went with some friends up north over the holidays. Pound of crab legs over potatos. Also there’s a few items on the “classic” menu including rainbow trout that are very delectable. Now as someone from Florida who has lived close to many a seafood restaurant: I understand it’s not the Ocean Prime or Oceanaire. But, unfortunately unless it’s restaurant week…it’s not something I can always make room for my wallet. I’ve also gone to Landrys, McCormicks, Pappadeux and legal seafood, all great places. But when you want a broad menu of seafood in the Midwest under $35, red lobster just hits the spot. Just like Pizza Hut, Fast food, and Starbucks does for some. Last red lobster I’ve went to last week: The place was packed full of people. This is despite one location in town having closed. So you wouldn’t think people in the Midwest liked seafood so much. However, I’m not so much a fan of busy times at restaurants and will actively avoid those periods of 6-8 a.m. I used to work at Shells seafood in Tampa years ago…it gets hectic.

In a perfect world right? But…when is it ever? I’ve posted many a text conversation and it’s plain to see: dealing with men who might not be single, or even gay…ALWAYS leads to drama. It’s either their wife, their work, their money, etc etc. it’s never drama free. That’s both sides of the equation. Just have to act accordingly or move on when necessary. I always thought even the ski resorts have WiFi, but there have been times I’ve gone to remote areas of Montana and had no service when hiking…but by the time I got to the little town, I was able to check messages. And just a reminder: Denver is very flaky, I told myself I will not go to book visits there again. It used to be great, until the pot industry took over. There’s still some good apples but, lots of weeding thru flakes.

Hmm, meh 🫤 just sounds like typical iffy hookup app behavior. It shouldn’t be an issue to plan in advance with some notice. However, you’d be right to say that same day meets do seem like the new planning ahead. In fact, I’m almost considering…in an effort to be a little more flexible, reserve deposits only for same day bookings. But then, that leaves advanced bookings open to cancel (which could even have a bigger negative effect if I’m out of town or planning to travel somewhere) so, I can’t think of enough reason that one or the other is more or less reliable than that other. As much as I want to move to a “no same day appointments” that would in theory making scheduling as easy as knowing what your work schedule is: I already know that’s mostly Fantasy. Pretty much every new client wants same day bookings. Fortunently I try to adjust my life and schedule to accommodate such requests, but for the most part: I’m usually only doing 1 same day booking in a day…so nobody get comfortable thinking that’s the solution. Many same day appointments, I have to say no to.

Good point made. This is where I also wish the RM platforms were a bit more expressive about availabilities and such. “Available now” is just not always doable, even though “online now” I suppose is a compromise. I know the auto reply on messenger is about the best it gets when it comes to being able to explain availability. But fast forward: I dealt with this EXACT same scenario again couple days ago. I went to a city for 1 night only, but I was giving myself until about 6 pm the next day for any other clients to book. So in the meantime, I went to Starbucks, shopping and to the gym. Sure enough, one client was dragging things on for a bit…eventually couldn’t even end up meeting himself. Another was going to be an hour away. Granted, this was all on A4A: the same site where people take their sweet time anyway. Some people, you can only deal with in a capacity where you have nowhere else to be.

A gif from an episode of Fresh Prince lol unless the person meant “Doctor Phil”…

You’d be surprised by 2 things: #1, Boise actually has a developing gay scene, I would almost consider moving there myself because it’s one city that’s not become over saturated live Denver and Phoenix western cities have become. And it’s a scenic trip to Seattle and the PNW. It’s still a bit “frontier-ish” but, I actually went on a nice date with a black brotha last time I was out there. Who woulda thought, in Boise of all places lol. #2, from my experience, I would almost assume Uncle Phil has a big dick. I know a guy who looks like the younger version of him…and even my biggest bottom friend, can’t handle his 🍆 😆

Exactly, because what if the tables were turned: Escort doesn’t show face Doesn’t provide phone number Doesn’t host Only takes cash (meaning all the guys who don’t have access to ATM need to leave and get atm money late at night) Basically doesn’t even include a picture of himself at all, just a promise to show up (sound familiar?) I’m thinking of doing an alternative to deposits by just asking for a picture. But some people I know, won’t even do that. But of course that barely matters either because I’m pretty sure either they won’t or, it’ll be something explicit with no face.

I would rather address the other guys who replied, but I’m going to still address you: You seem to ignore or are just ignorant to the fact that: some of the things I discuss are a cause and effect situation. I know it sounds easy and convenient to use my posts as a reason for everything…but you have to think bigger than that. Just like I said about deposits, I wasn’t asking for them because things were always going great, I started asking only when weird things kept happening. What I post on here has nothing to do with someone contacting me trying to book a visit in a different city, and him beating around the bush despite me letting him know: I need to know soon. Now alternatively the other day: a client reached out and even though it was a same day delivery booking in a city 3.5 hours from me(faster than Amazon lol), he reached out early in the day and sent deposit as soon as possible. We met and had a great time. The other guy coulda worked out to, but then when he’s already showing distrust over my deposit which proves he hasn’t read my ad: my patience automatically got shorter.

So, looking around the “universe”, I think it’s stuff like this that makes some clients say stuff like, “I been burned before”. Same thing a potential client said to me yesterday, but he asked me to drive an hour north of town to see him on an outcall, but didn’t want to send a deposit. I was like nah, I’m not about to do that. Anyhow, popcorn 🍿 (not me, from another post elsewhere in the world) and then… followed by… And then these be the same guys claiming they got scammed, SMH 🤦🏾‍♂️

Because after a set amount of time, I can’t edit it. Millions of years from now 🦕, someone may be aimlessly looking up my RentMen name 🤷🏾‍♂️

I do so because I hope to in some way, encourage non-posters who may be reading: to not buy into these “DON’T EVER SEND DEPOSIT” lines because, there’s two sides to the equation. And it is sad to lose potential clients because they expect me to be willing to take more risk than they are and don’t trust me as a sex worker and non-White person in business. So $50-$100 may be small fries, but for me it could mean $50-$100 lost PLUS what I was expecting and whatever else spent. So yeah, I will defend it whenever I see someone trying to make it seem like guys who ask for them are scams.

So the other day, I had somebody texting me while I was driving from one area to the next. Since I was posting ahead of time in a city I would be open to stop in if I had an appointment, but I wasn’t doing that blindly with no appointments. Stopping in cities requires a hotel, obviously to stay and host. But I often have a plan B alternate route in case I don’t. In this case it was exactly that, because if not I was going to go a different direction: (me in blue) In my head I’m like: dude, can you just tell me when you can meet? Eventually I ended up getting annoyed and telling him off because, why are you hitting me up for an appointment if you’re so busy with other people? I don’t like to send off a client but, many times people text when I’m commuting between locations and instead of just doing what’s being asked: they try to turn it into a conversation and what they “might” or “maybe” be able to do. Like no, I have to make a decision before I get to the next exit because one road goes in one direction, the other road goes in another. Once I get on either, it’ll either be too late to turn back, or take extra time if I do turn back around. This is why on my RM auto reply I’ve recently updated it to add questions like: Host/Travel: City You’re In: Days/Times: In this particular client above case, I shouldn’t have had to pick around and figure out when he could meet. It would have been nice if he just initially stated when he was looking for, but it seemed to me he was just poking around to see if I was actually in town 🤦🏾‍♂️ I often have to convey: Even if my ad shows in a place, it doesn’t always mean: A. I’m there yet and B. Even if I am, I may only be planning to go for specific booking and limited time. Not just hanging around with unlimited time to burn.

The supporting data is right here (not from me, but another provider in the biz).

I just received a deposit today. So…what’s the message? It’s not going to change my mind because: I’ve done the game without deposits, and done the game with deposits. I’m more at peace with than I was without. I was explaining on another forum: I didn’t decide to take deposits because things were “Going great”. I started taking deposits because things got bad at some point. It doesn’t matter peoples opinions on here because: we are the ones who have to shoulder the burden of flaked bookings, not guys on the forum. I still say to this day: I had to abandon my cozy condo in Denver back in 2015 because 2 key clients didn’t keep their word and show up. One was a regular who just all of sudden started flaking on me, another couldn’t make it to town because the weather. Both of them should have sent courtesy cancellation fees considering they were high amount bookings. But I was young and dumb and just let them do whatever. Granted: I would have likely given it up anyway because Denver got slow and the prices steady went up: but I was planning to do that when the time was right. I just provided a whole mathematical essay on how much no shows and cancellations can cost (though that’s more speculative equations for illustrative purposes, not meant to insinuate how much money I actually lost). Dime a dozen? If you feel that way, why pay at all? If it’s that easy to get a guy…You should have no need to be looking for paid encounters at all. That’s the exact mentality why some providers charge deposits to begin with: people will try to pull some slick move and not pay their part. The average gay dude would tell you, “guys are a dime a dozen, why are you paying for one”. So, no need to put down clients who send deposits. I’ve had Sexy and wealthy clients send deposit. It’s not thinking with their Dick, it’s being a courteous client who respects their partner(s). I also have to do deposits because many clients desire me to host: and since I travel and have to host in hotel, that means gas and cash for hotels. For example: hotels also charge deposits, which unfortunately have to be passed onto the client. I was talking to a hotel manager earlier today, he said the same thing: before Covid he never charged deposits but now: somehow Covid must have fucked with people’s brain to make them disrespectful towards sex workers, flight attendants, and hotel rooms 🤷🏾‍♂️

And more tips from professionals:

That not entirely accurate. Like I said earlier, I have heard from clients get ripped off using cash before also. If $50-$100 is all you lose from a deposit: consider yourself fortunate. Wasn’t there a story around here about a girl in Vegas who made out with $50,000 of cash in the guy’s safe? Remember: scams have been around longer than Venmo and Cash App. If someone wants to scam or rob you, they will not let a deposit get in the way. Only way to prevent being scammed is to go to a reputable provider: Also in reference to how you find a professional provider? Only thing I would say “doesn’t apply” is the no nude/XXX pics things. In fact, I’ve seen a scam ad from someone who lives in Washington DC, that was being used in San Jose, Ca. I knew the guy personally, and that guy does not have nude pictures out there. But he’s also not an escort. Whoever was in Cali was using his pictures but didn’t have any nudes in the ad. Which kinda seemed red flag. I have learned at the end of the day: selling s*x is hard. And it’s become a bit harder with the apps. But it can be particularly harder in some areas more than others. Couple that with being a Black provider with a bit of boundaries, that many men can’t respect because all they hear and see on the news is Blacks being involved in crime, etc. ESPECIALLY in middle America but pretty much everywhere except New Mexico, Utah, Idaho, Montana where there aren’t many of us: it’s hard to run a biz and not be automatically labelled as a scammer/criminal. Like I’ve said before, just the very fact of us selling product: people try to label us as a scam. Then add whatever racial component to it, doubles. I’ve worked hard for a long time to build a solid rep, and I never scam clients out or deposits… I even left a date the other night last week day after Valentine’s, to meet a client who sent a deposit without asking. When I tried to schedule him the next day, he responded back that he couldn’t but “maybe next time”. But I don’t live in the city, so I had to weigh “free” time against paid time and integrity: so I told my date I had to take the booking, and he was upset I could tell but understanding because…that was the only appointment I’ve had in two weeks that actually panned out. And if I didn’t take it, that would have been $500 lost.

And that’s great, I’m glad you understand the magnitude of it all. As I’ve said elsewhere before; I and probably even @AngusStevensxxx have done without deposits for a long time. Yes: I used to never take deposits. I started in 2008 with a laptop and gay.com. I had a basic flip phone with no pay apps. I get it. I understand some clients like to do “what they’ve been doing for the past 30 years”. But that doesn’t mean shit in the big scheme of things. Times are different. People change. These days, hooking up and ghosting has become ACCEPTABLE. Even clients who pay, I know are on hookup apps. I met with a client the other night, and I could hear his phone making the Grindr ding. I didn’t say anything, but it goes to show: he probably ghosted someone or someone ghosted him, or he’s just browsing killing time. Who knows. I just know I got my deposit and went over to see him. These days, and specifically in the markets I work (Midwest, long distance drives, flaky clientele): I require a deposit. Now: if I was in say a fun place like Palm Springs or South Beach Miami and just had a room or apartment; I probably wouldn’t take a deposit. I’d just be trying to get guys to come as they come. In fact, when I’m resorting to seeking Grindr clients; I won’t take a deposit at all. But that’s because I know they are close range, and I’m putting little investment. Plus I know many of them aren’t trying to pay anyway…so I try to get them in as easiest as possible. But they are always same day, spur of hour or miss the chance. It’s a whole different playing field that I don’t generally prefer.

Again, you’re talking about a one time thing. That would be like an escort saying: “I got a hotel to host a client ONCE and he didn’t show, I never hosted again”. Let’s talk about how many times I’ve had clients who didn’t show after I paid for accommodations and travel since I started in 2008, and how many didn’t show, faked in their communications etc etc etc. Everything from the blatant no shows, to the ghosts, to the ones who I thought would show but didn’t: Just do a low number of 4x a week, multiplied by 16 years. That’s an estimate of 3,328 times I’ve been scammed. Double it for ALL inquiries, and the number is 6,656. Times that by an average of $250 per flaked session: that’s $1,664,000 dollars LOST. Divided by 16 🟰 $104,000 annually. Never recovered. And you’re bitching about your one time? Bitch…goodbye ✌️😆 As has been repeated over and over: we as escorts deal with that ALL THE TIME. People will often say, “that’s part of doing business” and yes it is. But it’s also part of you hiring. Hell, I’ve given many examples over the years of clients getting scammed just paying cash. I will say this plainly: CLIENTS ARE STUPID IF THEY THINK THEY WONT GET SCAMMED BY PAYING CASH. Why? I’ve seen more than once clients get ripped off paying cash. I won’t say the details, but it’s very easy. If I was low integrity, I’d be doing it myself and making more money than I am now. The fact you’re paying for sex alone: is a risk to get scammed. Someone can take your money, and then knock you over the head with a frying pan 🍳 Or have someone else in a closet do it. Or just not fuck you, at best. Not exactly Jeffrey Dahmer, but safety as A WHOLE is not based on upfront money. that’s an example of why deposit has nothing to do with it. You are equating deposit to bad experience when in reality, it has nothing to do with that. You can go on a free site and a dude will do the same thing. I’m pretty sure more people get killed/robbed meeting people on Grindr, than RentMen. RentMen requires members to sign up with a credit card OR drivers license to get photos verified. Grindr does not. I collect deposits because: I can’t afford to gamble money anymore. I also travel across states, pay for hotels etc. I’m not just a guy hanging out in an apartment or seeing clients within a 5 mile radius. Many of my bookings are 3-4 hours minimum away. On the occasion I have local clients, it’s always last minute. For example: I had a client contact me the day after valentines when I was spending time with a new boyfriend. If he didn’t already send the deposit without me asking, I wouldn’t have taken him serious. But because he did: I cancelled movie night with him, and took care of responsibility. I’m not going to invest that level of sacrifice to someone who’s half-assed in their confirms. And to the guy who said he’s a doctor or whatever: medical care cannot be compared to sex work. I understand that’s also an industry where no shows happen: but you are running a standing practice office. You’re not getting hotels AND treating patients. You’re not traveling from Los Angeles to Chicago AND treating patients. If you were, you’d be asking for something right? And here’s another example: regular client of mine from Kansas City. Pays well ($400-$500 every booking), but he still cancelled on me and refuses to reply to me asking for a cancellation fee, even though I let him slide without a deposit last time. Fortunately, I didn’t bother making the drive until the next morning…but that also affected my trip to Buffalo, New York. Both him and a few others ghosted me the week I was trying to make a visit up to the area. I’m appalled (I’m in blue bubble, regular client who’s seen me in a different city in gray)

Well that and just someone very obsessive and maybe into mind games if they called between a time that soloyo was busy. Then again, if they were “dating”, it sounds like they met more than once? Idk, hell I could name a million situations where a potential possibility failed to communicate properly, both in and out of sex work. Like saying goes, it takes 2 to tango. If 2 people really want to make something happen, they’ll do so. Sometimes it’s not about who said what or didn’t say what, miscommunications etc etc. Like in one of my examples above, the other party had the option to put more effort into planning the booking.

Yeah, typical weak yet controlling client…not wanting to do the work to communicate, and throwing his toys 🧸 on the floor. He should have better explained his situation. But then again, that’s why I am doing consultation fees, deposits and not showing my number as much. Dealing with that a few times, over a few days and not getting anything to show at the end of the week: and you lose your patience very quick…

Well, in another universe…this exact same thing has been discussed recently: I think gay culture has made many male escorts treat this like a “side gig” that isn’t to be taken seriously. Many even self profess not taking it seriously either. Some are also on drugs, no matter how professional their ads come off. Weekend warriors, or they are partnered to a man or women. I also notice this from the client side, like the guy in the above post I made. He’s wanting attention without actually giving me anything to work with. GI creative professional tells me 0 about the client and what he’s looking for. Absolutely nothing. Doesn’t even address me by name. He might as well sent that to 1,000,000 different guys. And sure enough, he never booked a session this time around. I actually stopped at a rest stop while driving to text him…because I needed to quickly decide whether to take the highway going north to where he was, or west to go home because I needed to figure out before I got to the crossroad. All he does is tell me he doesn’t want to send a deposit, nor isn’t available at the time I would arrive to town. But that he would “try” to break free tomorrow. After saying he was free all day Saturday…assuming I had no plans of my own. I told him: (he’s in Grey texting me in blue) A thumbs up, really? It’s stuff like that which is why I don’t want my phone number displayed. Even “registered users” are just as much timewasters as any others. They just blatantly not read my ad otherwise they wouldn’t say the exact same shit that I have plainly in my profile 🤦🏾‍♂️ That’s why in my RM auto responder now, I’m making sure they agree to TWO (2) things before they see my number. Like I literally have to block myself out behind a message in order for them to comprehend. I prefer to work in a professional manner. That’s why I’ve taken the word “Consultant” and applied it to what I am. Escort has lost its professional meaning and has been replaced by “RentMan, Masseur”. I told RentMen I’m sick of the BS clients on the site. We need to be getting paid for these exchanges whether they book us or not. I want minimum $20 every time a client on the site contacts me. PERIOD. If I wanted to have my time wasted for free I’d just stick with Grindr. No reason to pay $79 a month to deal with this nonsense.

On top of that, many clients come off dismissive right off the bat. Instead of compromising and discussing an option, they immediately resort to passive aggressive departure. That’s a sign of a weak, yet controlling man who is afraid of any level of conflict. That’s why I told RentMen and RentMasseur: I’m tired of this shit. For the money we pay to them, they should be doing more to micromanage these guys. It’s too much work. If someone is going to not read a profile, at least have the decency to follow what a provider asks for. Too many of these guys expect far too much upfront, but do very little to convey they are willing to put the effort.

I’m still trying to figure out: what color bubble is the client and which is the escort?? I assume the client is the one saying he doesn’t want to waste his time? Yeah that’s passive aggressive client behavior I see often…(I’m in blue) My vote is YES: and I was going to post a topic about this exact thing but, I promised I’d make less threads and just respond to others, but it’s like practically revealing itself😂 My topic was going to be: THE FRAGILE CLIENT EGO. It’s a very real thing. I’ve dealt with it twice in the past week: Then a couple messages later: And I’m paying $49 and $79 a month to deal with this shit? This is an obscene. I’ve been dealing with shit like this ALL YEAR. People wonder why I ask deposits and charge to be contacted: because 90% of tripe from RM is all nonsense and flakes, I can’t run a biz that requires SPENDING MONEY on hotels, travel, etc. relying that unreliable, dishonest fake clients are going to show up. I’ve made sure going forward in my ads I make it very very clear what’s to be expected, and I’m not taking excuses because it’s all in writing! I feel like I’ma teacher of middle school students some days!!! We need to be getting paid an actual salary, this commission shit isn’t working 🤦🏾‍♂️

Funny thing is: when I send inquiries a detail response asking them to tell me a bit about themselves: many don’t even respond back. But then few months/years later they try the same thing again 🤦🏾‍♂️

That’s the level I’m at currently. I used to charge between 150-200-250 but now I’m at 200-250-300, although I want to push to 250-300-350 (I offer tier level sessions). However, instead of chasing the price increase rat 🐀 race, I’m just offering add ons like 75 min, 90 min, Two Hours. At the end of the day, I’m still getting 250-500 for most appointments. Problem is, the bookings are fewer now even before the rate went up…so I’ve had to in turn, make sure I’m asking more. One semi-regular I was seeing dropped me last year because I wouldn’t see him for $200. But I told him: you can’t just meet once every 6 months and expect a discount. I have to remind people this all the time. Stop popping up out the blue expecting me to charge the same rates as 2022 ✋🏾 Well, I’ve noticed with Minneapolis in general: I’ve been trying to plan trips there lately and I keep having to not go myself because the level of commitment seems low there. I used to do well there but lately I haven’t been able to get enough serious clients and most seem scared to send a deposit (which I’m going to address more below). That’s because as I’ve said throughout the forum: business is slow. Especially in cities like Chicago because so many guys are posting on there. The big cities now are just chock full of ads, and now it’s anybody’s guess who’s a real client anymore. It used to be guys would contact and book. Now, every inquiry is a time waster (at least from my observations and experiences). I sent RentMen FOUR (4) emails today basically roasting them over hot coals letting them know I’m sick and tired of having to micromanage clients from the site. Lately it’s become like a Grindr: people are hitting me up not talking about money at all, being unresponsive in communications, just basically being a big time waste. They’re doing minimal effort and collecting our money, while we have to do all the legwork to deal with the nonsense everyday. I just came back from Nashville and I have about 10-15 texts over a 1 week period of people contacting. Only 1 client managed to book out of all those. I have suggested solutions to them before and they refuse to take it. I deal with far less Timewasters on my own website than RentMen. When people go to my site, they know I mean business and I’m talking about money on every page. I feel RentMen is making it optional, and guys are getting away with wasting our time for free. I’m nipping that shit in the bud immediately. No phone numbers are going up, every communication is going to be automated and making them agree to my terms before any engagement occurs. See above response. I’ve told RentMen they need to bring rates back. It’s become a Grindr and the pay seems optional.