Jamie21

I never upsell. I think it’s bad practice to do so, especially during the massage. I think you agree the content and the rate beforehand and stick to it. Offering an upsell mid massage is taking advantage of someone when they probably aren’t able or willing to decline it. If someone asks for more services mid massage (and it’s something I’d usually charge extra for, such as to bottom) then I usually suggest they book that for next visit.

RentMasseur gives you the opportunity to upload a certificate and then they mark you as certified. They say they check the certificate but I wonder how diligent that is. It’s because in certain locations you can’t advertise offering massage without being certified. However, I’ve never seen a licensed massage therapist who offers therapeutic massage only (who stays clothed and doesn’t touch genitals) and who drapes etc offer their services on RentMasseur. If they do then they’re advertising in the wrong place: look at the semi clothed public pictures (and the explicit private ones!), the descriptions and the inclusion of sensual/tantric massages…If you want a massage therapist who won’t do anything sexual don’t look on RentMasseur!

Although escorts may not give a good massage (very unlikely to have a table for example). If you want a good massage (done properly on a table with decent oil etc) and sexual activity then hire a masseur who does sensual / erotic and tell him what you want, either specifically if it’s a must have; “I definitely want to be kissed” or what kind of activity you’d like; “I’d like it very erotic to climax but I’ll leave it to you to decide how”. If there’s something you definitely don’t want, then tell him; “nothing inside”. Personally I prefer clients to tell me what they don’t want but then to leave it to me to read the cues from their reactions. If they enjoy it they come back and I remember what they liked and the ‘getting to know you’ progresses. I like to keep it interesting by varying things up and exploring with them a little more. Always with clear understanding of their boundaries and their clear understanding of mine. Within that, anything goes.

Yes there is that. They often forget they contacted me previously and message again sometimes years later. Then it’s my turn to ignore them.

It works both ways. I get ghosted by clients regularly! Client “Hi I’m interested in a massage are you available tomorrow?” Me “yes I am available anytime between 10am and 9pm” Client 👻👻👻👻 or this one: I struggle to understand why some clients simply ignore a reply. Just say ‘thanks but I changed my mind or am no longer interested’. Otherwise I’m waiting thinking ‘He asked so I won’t make firm plans until I hear his reply’. Maybe sometimes the message doesn’t get through but often I know it has because WhatsApp tells me so, yet still it gets ghosted. Very strange.

This is great advice. I totally agree.

Yes I had a set up like this for a couple of years. Start on the table, move to the bed was a common situation. People like to think they’re coming for a proper massage (which they get on a table) that develops into something more. I think you can do everything you need in terms of how things could develop on the table but the option of the bed is nice to have.

I get a few clients who found me from my justforfans and Onlyfans sites. They contact me via DM on X (twitter). Don’t ask them on their fans platform because they don’t allow you to discuss hiring on there.

Yes I do…if it’s likely I’ll bottom. Sometimes I’ve taken a chance if he’s small and it won’t go far in 😂.

If you don’t feel enlightened …then use some lube?

I think the analogy is a fair one. Alcoholics affect others massively (try living with one) so do drug addicts (most crime is drug related). I agree with you about the waiting for each partner to react. That happens. It’s a choice though. You choose to do it safe, he wasn’t compelled to do so. Similarly I don’t insist anyone agrees to my choice. If a client wants to top me with a condom that’s fine because I choose to agree they use one if they want to. If the client wants me to top them with a condom then I simply decline, and it doesn’t happen (and as I said, it’s not part of massage anyway). It’s all free choice. It’s very easy to avoid the risk of catching something: you avoid all human contact.

I use grapeseed oil. Tastes fine. Lovely for massage, good for the skin.

I agree with you.

Oh well I must be doing it wrong then. All these years and over 1000 clients and now I learn I’ve been doing it wrong 😬.

I’m cut, some clients are too. If playing with a cut cock you do need a bit of lube sometimes.

Good! It’s important when hiring that things are clear. I wasn’t thinking your reply (or any reply) was judgmental. My stance on BB is fairly academic anyway because almost all my work is sensual/erotic massage so I don’t offer to top or bottom as part of that service. Sometimes it happens of course but never as an expectation.

Maybe I misread it but I didn’t feel it was really judgmental (but then I’m thick skinned, I don’t care if anyone judges me!). I like the range of opinions on here. Some people focus on extreme safety some much more open to risk. Who knows what someone’s background is that leads them to their position. If they express it as judgmental on others then I think that says more about them than the person they’re judging.

I think you may be an outlier. It feels different to me. It’s also really annoying in the moment to try and open the condom with oily or lubed up hands (I know this is a first world annoyance but still….it kills the mood). Plus many bottoms like the load in them…which actually I find kind of difficult but that’s a different discussion! Also…isn’t all sex mental? If it’s just a physical act you’re missing something. It happens in the head. The brain is the sex organ - that’s where it all happens and where you focus if you’re really wanting to get it on with someone, not their cock or ass. Bareback sex is elemental, it’s in the head.

Yes that’s correct, it doesn’t go ahead.

I know Prep doesn’t protect me against other sexually transmitted infections (by the way…STI is the term used now). I understand the risks and make a personal decision (as with anything). People should be able to take informed choices about this. I choose not to use condoms when I top (and if the person I’m with doesn’t choose that then we don’t go ahead). It’s always got to be a personal choice. Similarly I choose not to smoke for example or to drink alcohol. Those are my choices made on health grounds. I’m always surprised by those who are censorious about people not using condoms but who smoke and drink both of which have serious health consequences for both themselves and others. Why the focus on sexual activity and not on other lifestyle choices?

Yes I’ve found clients from this forum. I always ask new clients where they found me. A few say it was from here, which is fabulous. It’s a good place to interact; well moderated and generally respectful. I’ve also made some good connections with other providers.

In that respect…yes!

If you’re making porn no one uses condoms in that. 99% of the guys I film with are bb. If you put out a condom film it bombs so it just doesn’t happen. Also you can trust that guys who make content are getting tested regularly (if it’s your work you test regularly because if you catch something you’re out of work for a couple of weeks). If you’re at a party usually those are bareback only these days although in my experience the parties are where it’s most likely you might catch something (along with sex clubs). Also, if you’re being hired by clients and you’re not confident they test regularly and many guys who hire intermittently don’t seem to test regularly then it’s just simpler to ask them to use a condom and be on the safe side.

It depends what you’re offering, how you describe it, and on the laws in the jurisdiction you work in. I’m on RentMasseur. On there I list as offering sensual and erotic but not therapeutic. There’s no generally accepted or regulated definition of what sensual or erotic is (this is debated at length in many other posts on here!!! ) but therapeutic is regulated and one needs a license and insurance to practice (at least where I work in the UK) and any sexual activity would invalidate your license and your insurance. So therapeutic massage is very different from sensual / erotic massage. One does not need a license to offer sensual / erotic massage and because of the sexual elements it is considered sex work. Within certain parameters it’s perfectly legal to do sex work here in UK therefore I don’t have concerns about law enforcement and as long as I’m not advertising therapeutic massage it’s not necessary to have a license. That said I do have formal massage training because I think it’s important to know how to give a good massage and to avoid injury (to myself and my client) and be aware of any contra indicators for massage…things like varicose veins etc. I also have insurance which is now available here for certain kinds of sex workers. I think it’s generally understood that masseurs advertising on RentMasseur are offering more than therapeutic massage (just look at the pictures and the inferences in the masseurs description and profile!). They just need to be a bit careful about how they promote it if the jurisdiction they work in is hostile towards sex work.

This. Turn him over and ride him until he ends happily. You can massage his pecs at same time. That’s what I’ve done. Works fine.