Jamie21

This is the problem - the reticence (for good reason) to ask for what you want. I describe myself as offering sensual massage. But I include sex acts in that. Clients can and do ask me what’s included, which is sensible of you really want to ensure a specific act is included. Some are happy to leave it as ‘it will be sensual’ and they enjoy the unexpected outcome (always though with the anticipation of them climaxing). Of course this is all possible where I live because providing sexual services for money is legal, so I can be relaxed about describing in detail what is included if asked. But in places like the US you all have to be coy about it…and seemingly that is getting worse.

I got that message too. I guess it simplifies things. No one understood the difference between sensual and erotic anyway. I’m forever being asked ‘what’s the difference’ and there is no right answer.

I think there’s a sweet spot in the ideal travel / sex companion that’s difficult to find. It needs to be someone with similar interests but not too similar. Some overlap but also some differences. If it’s someone who shares your worldview and experience then there’s no intellectual stimulation but if it’s someone from a completely different perspective and background then you have no place to start with shared perspectives.

You’ve been extremely generous and kind to him …and I think he’s just more than paid you back with something money can’t buy.

If your messages on Grindr referred in any way to their RM status or to hiring them etc then they’re extremely likely to ignore you. Not because they’re not into you (although it could also be that) but because Grindr will ban them if they’re engaging in solicitation on the platform. By the way, work engagements and non work engagements are two different and distinct things. Someone hires me, I’m looking to deliver what he wants (not what I want). It’s about him. If I hookup with someone on Grindr I’m looking to get my needs taken care of just as much as the other guy is. It works differently. Don’t conflate them. Hire a good guy and he’ll make you feel like he’d be there with you in that moment even if you weren’t paying him…but don’t test that out because you’ll spoil it for yourself. It’s like buying a lottery ticket before the draw: you could be the winner of the jackpot and it feels exciting. After the draw, when you didn’t win the ticket is just a bit of paper. My advice: buy the ticket but never look at the draw. Your ticket is always a potential winner…

I like being watched. Have done a few live sex shows. No qualms about being watched, it’s fun. But I agree with @DamizzonNYC I don’t want to shock any unsuspecting audience or risk someone seeing it who would be offended, they need to be up for watching!

I know him. Have done a film with him (for my Onlyfans/JustforFans) a couple of years ago. Nice guy and we had a good connection (watch the film!) but he’s not a masseur (I massaged him). Maybe best to hire him as an escort rather than for a massage.

On the one hand you’ll want clients which means making your services widely marketed but on the other hand you want confidentiality which requires the opposite of widely marketed! You can be a provider with no clients I guess…but you won’t make much money 🙂. You don’t need to be overtly public with your face in your advertising but body pics will be essential. And it’s inevitable that many clients will ask for a face pic at some point. There isn’t much of a market for a surprise provider. People don’t buy this product sight unseen.

I’m guessing that the masseur and the husband don’t have a physical relationship together (any longer). You are potentially being used by the husband to restart that relationship but he’s reluctant to initiate that conversation with his husband so he’s asking you to do it. That could turn out badly for you and them.

That’s a large deposit! When booking guys look for reviews and recommendations on here, use your intuition. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Avoid deposits.

Better check what I said. I don’t normally comment from a position of ignorance and because I don’t do therapeutic massages I will never have experienced a therapeutic only client pushing boundaries.

There is no neat delineation between the two. Consider it a Venn diagram with considerable overlap between the Masseur / Rentmasseur circle and the Escort / Rentmen circle. How guys classify themselves is up to them - this isn’t a regulated industry. It’s incumbent on the buyer to do his diligence and ask questions.

Yep, I’m available Mon -Sun but I don’t work them all! You advertise as available and then choose whether or not to take clients. It usually works out that some days there’s no one booked. What you have to do is be very flexible with your plans. Example: Currently I have 1 client tomorrow, that could well change between now and tomorrow morning. If I get no more bookings then I have plans for the time outside of when I’m with the client (gym, other work) but if I get booking(s) then I’ll take them. Similarly for Friday; 1 client booked at moment. That could change and I have contingencies in place if I get busy or if I have no clients. You just need to get used to being flexible with time.

Doesn’t work like that, I think you’re overestimating it. That’s a burn out rate of activity! You also need to factor in: - flaky clients not turning up or cancelling last minute and rescheduling. One might have a day planned with 3 clients scheduled and then half hour into the day they’ve all cancelled… - time spent handling enquiries most of which do not end up in a booking needs to be considered. It takes ages. - no one would work every single day: there’s days you’re unwell, have personal chores to do, socialise, work out, self care stuff. - cost of doing business needs to be factored in: advertising, travel, accommodation, expenses etc. - can’t compare it to a salaried employee. They get other benefits and more job security / reliable income.

He’s a really nice guy. I enjoyed filming with him. You know he does escorting too so you could book a session with him.

All this debate and discussion about what is a fair rate or what is the correct rate etc is otiose. The rate is determined by demand and supply. All that matters is the balance of guys providing and those buying and the knowledge of those two parties. That determines the price. Whether observers to the process consider the price to be fair or correct is immaterial and not relevant.

Many times. The definition of ‘hot’ is fairly subjective ..which is great! @Simon Suraciis correct, it doesn’t change one’s approach. I’ve found that there’s no correlation between physical ‘hotness’ and how sexy they are during a session. Some of the most visually attractive clients are dull / unimaginative/ inhibited etc when it comes to performance and in those situations one has to work harder. That’s where ones approach changes.. but that is to do with the attitude of the client not the physical appearance.

The two words that jump out at me in this sentence is ‘for now’. I expect in a bath house / sauna situation where you’re performing for an audience the ‘for now’ thing won’t last long. Have you discussed that together? If not, do so before you take your plans to a bath house. Maybe hire a pro first, see what happens.

There’s no collusion or cartel here. If you’re going for a certain type of Brazilian in London, in a certain area, then it’s likely they all know each other either directly or once removed. Word gets around at what each other charges. They’ll all end up similar. Maybe that’s what you’re noticing. There isn’t a cartel or any conspiracy to fleece Americans.

The market knows what rates will work and what won’t. Where there’s a lot of providers, those who over charge quickly find they don’t get much custom, so they either drop to the mean or they leave the market. Similarly if someone goes in too low they quickly realise they’re leaving value on the table so they increase rates. It means rates become similar.

I agree. Some element of surprise is important but that should be in the content of the session rather than in who the client finds when they turn up. Recently I had a new client, who had seen my pics etc. He’d booked an hour but after he’d seen me in person, after showering he asked to extend the time. I was very flattered.

Yep I’m the shop steward. Everyone out. Honestly, I didn’t realise everyone charges same. My experience is rates vary a bit. But it’s a very competitive market so rates are bound to coalesce around a market rate.

Done!

If I hired for overnight it would definitely be separate beds! Doing overnights for clients is not on my repertoire.

Exactly. If you approach it with the mindset that he views clients as ATM’s then you’re probably going to find that to be self fulfilling. Of course I wouldn’t be present at that time and place if I were not being paid for it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t approach the client with respect, care and authenticity. A lot of trust is created because both parties are being vulnerable. The more times a client comes the greater the trust.