Aaron_Bauder

I've inquired with other escorts about off-clock play, and gotten a yes because they found me mutually attractive
Hired other escorts (not often, a few times when traveling)
I've asked escorts for off-clock play, and been turned down (no more upsetting than being turned down anywhere else)
Played off-clock with other escorts I first connected with via a client who put together a group session (so, so hot)
Turned down escorts I've met in a client-organized group, who were convinced by my in-session acting/performance that I was super duper into them when I wasn't really (awkward)
I've been contacted by other escorts for off-clock play, and turned them down because they're not my type (some get really offended I'm not automatically into them, which is hilarious)
Hooked up with guys, then later found out they escort, then worked together

All sorts of scenarios happen. I would love to date another escort, active or retired, because sex work is a barrier to dating the kind of Ivy League/military "I work a desk job" boy next door type I'm drawn to. But I wouldn't date someone who's not my type just because he escorts too.
 
Very few would turn down a free hookup with a guy they find really hot.

I've inquired with other escorts about off-clock play, and gotten a yes because they found me mutually attractive
Hired other escorts (not often, a few times when traveling)
I've asked escorts for off-clock play, and been turned down (no more upsetting than being turned down anywhere else)
Played off-clock with other escorts I first connected with via a client who put together a group session (so, so hot)
Turned down escorts I've met in a client-organized group, who were convinced by my in-session acting/performance that I was super duper into them when I wasn't really (awkward)
I've been contacted by other escorts for off-clock play, and turned them down because they're not my type (some get really offended I'm not automatically into them, which is hilarious)
Hooked up with guys, then later found out they escort, then worked together

All sorts of scenarios happen. I would love to date another escort, active or retired, because sex work is a barrier to dating the kind of Ivy League/military "I work a desk job" boy next door type I'm drawn to. But I wouldn't date someone who's not my type just because he escorts too.
 
Very few would turn down a free hookup with a guy they find really hot.

I've inquired with other escorts about off-clock play, and gotten a yes because they found me mutually attractive
Hired other escorts (not often, a few times when traveling)
I've asked escorts for off-clock play, and been turned down (no more upsetting than being turned down anywhere else)
Played off-clock with other escorts I first connected with via a client who put together a group session (so, so hot)
Turned down escorts I've met in a client-organized group, who were convinced by my in-session acting/performance that I was super duper into them when I wasn't really (awkward)
I've been contacted by other escorts for off-clock play, and turned them down because they're not my type (some get really offended I'm not automatically into them, which is hilarious)
Hooked up with guys, then later found out they escort, then worked together

All sorts of scenarios happen. I would love to date another escort, active or retired, because sex work is a barrier to dating the kind of Ivy League/military "I work a desk job" boy next door type I'm drawn to. But I wouldn't date someone who's not my type just because he escorts too.
 
Very few would turn down a free hookup with a guy they find really hot.

You know a dentist probably sees another dentist for dental work. Just curious if escorts do that too. Maybe for market research? Or for training? Or just checking out the competition?

He didn't "suddenly collapse at Pride" or "drop dead" at Pride or anywhere else. Pride ended Sunday, and Jules was (outwardly) fine and (almost certainly) happy and (outwardly) healthy to all of us who saw him and spoke to him and laughed and danced and had fun with him over the weekend. Whatever precipitated his coma appears to have happened Tuesday or Wednesday, and he lingered before being allowed to pass on.
 
We are feeling awful out here in West Hollywood and waiting for more details. This was one of the most cohesive, communal, integrated, and hopeful Prides ever; to have it followed by such a tragedy is a jarring reality check. Anxiety and grief are high; in a town full of fake assholes, shallow bigots, and mean girls, Jules and Ryan are genuine, friendly, and consequently very well-liked.
 
Given the situation, premature speculation and disinformation of this kind is pretty tacky, classless, and inappropriate. But par the course for a minority on this board who have no compunction about treating sex workers like disposable commodities with no humanity.
 
I understand the impulse to jump to conclusions: 27 year-olds do not (typically) just die. However, I should like to think that adult men could exercise some sensitive restraint and impulse-control, pending additional info.

He didn't "suddenly collapse at Pride" or "drop dead" at Pride or anywhere else. Pride ended Sunday, and Jules was (outwardly) fine and (almost certainly) happy and (outwardly) healthy to all of us who saw him and spoke to him and laughed and danced and had fun with him over the weekend. Whatever precipitated his coma appears to have happened Tuesday or Wednesday, and he lingered before being allowed to pass on.
 
We are feeling awful out here in West Hollywood and waiting for more details. This was one of the most cohesive, communal, integrated, and hopeful Prides ever; to have it followed by such a tragedy is a jarring reality check. Anxiety and grief are high; in a town full of fake assholes, shallow bigots, and mean girls, Jules and Ryan are genuine, friendly, and consequently very well-liked.
 
Given the situation, premature speculation and disinformation of this kind is pretty tacky, classless, and inappropriate. But par the course for a minority on this board who have no compunction about treating sex workers like disposable commodities with no humanity.
 
I understand the impulse to jump to conclusions: 27 year-olds do not (typically) just die. However, I should like to think that adult men could exercise some sensitive restraint and impulse-control, pending additional info.

He didn't "suddenly collapse at Pride" or "drop dead" at Pride or anywhere else. Pride ended Sunday, and Jules was (outwardly) fine and (almost certainly) happy and (outwardly) healthy to all of us who saw him and spoke to him and laughed and danced and had fun with him over the weekend. Whatever precipitated his coma appears to have happened Tuesday or Wednesday, and he lingered before being allowed to pass on.
 
We are feeling awful out here in West Hollywood and waiting for more details. This was one of the most cohesive, communal, integrated, and hopeful Prides ever; to have it followed by such a tragedy is a jarring reality check. Anxiety and grief are high; in a town full of fake assholes, shallow bigots, and mean girls, Jules and Ryan are genuine, friendly, and consequently very well-liked.
 
Given the situation, premature speculation and disinformation of this kind is pretty tacky, classless, and inappropriate. But par the course for a minority on this board who have no compunction about treating sex workers like disposable commodities with no humanity.
 
I understand the impulse to jump to conclusions: 27 year-olds do not (typically) just die. However, I should like to think that adult men could exercise some sensitive restraint and impulse-control, pending additional info.

He didn't "suddenly collapse at Pride" or "drop dead" at Pride or anywhere else. Pride ended Sunday, and Jules was (outwardly) fine and (almost certainly) happy and (outwardly) healthy to all of us who saw him and spoke to him and laughed and danced and had fun with him over the weekend. Whatever precipitated his coma appears to have happened Tuesday or Wednesday, and he lingered before being allowed to pass on.
 
We are feeling awful out here in West Hollywood and waiting for more details. This was one of the most cohesive, communal, integrated, and hopeful Prides ever; to have it followed by such a tragedy is a jarring reality check. Anxiety and grief are high; in a town full of fake assholes, shallow bigots, and mean girls, Jules and Ryan are genuine, friendly, and consequently very well-liked.
 
Given the situation, premature speculation and disinformation of this kind is pretty tacky, classless, and inappropriate. But par the course for a minority on this board who have no compunction about treating sex workers like disposable commodities with no humanity.
 
I understand the impulse to jump to conclusions: 27 year-olds do not (typically) just die. However, I should like to think that adult men could exercise some sensitive restraint and impulse-control, pending additional info.

Trust me, I believe you. And it is true. I’ve discussed the same topic many times before. I was one of the (only) 1st escorts on this forum, to question why there wasn’t more reviews on Black providers here.
 
But what I am saying is, I don’t care anymore. I don’t care if other White escorts are getting paid or reviewed more. I just care that the clients I do have, keep seeing me, and that I’m doing what I need to do to make it.
 
I may not have been paid $25,000 for something before, but I do have reliable clients in other states who I can contact at any time, and they’ll come thru for me. I’m sure the $50,000 client will likely be a 1 time thing.

Contact him for a meeting (be direct, without extraneous thank yous and small talk and I'm hurt you haven't responded etc). If he answers, great. If he doesn't, also great. Move on.
 
You never know what people are going through. He could be ignoring you, yes...or he could be distracted with serious financial problems or health issues, or dealing with death in the family, or having legit phone glitches/text receipt issues. All of which are real life scenarios I discovered after weeks/months of being upset at someone not responding, based on my (wrong) assumptions and lack of info. I learned to stop internalizing the non-responsiveness: when you don't know, you don't know and that's it, period. Part of my growing up was accepting unknowns / lack of closure and moving on. Instead of assuming it's about me -- which was really a commentary on my insecurity and narcissism I needed to fix.
 

Well sounds like you’ve got quite a bit of insider’s information for sure. However, I’m always a bit skeptical ? when it comes down to numbers being thrown around. $50,000 sounds like an “offer”, but did it actually go thru? It just doesn’t sound like a real thing. Not saying you’re not telling the truth (and of course you know I’m a fan of a lot of the tips and advice you share), but I don’t feel the twin’s or whoever it initially came from, story adds up.
 
I already know clients don’t generally “offer” money. It’s more of an ask and you shall receive, and you may receive some extra on top of it too. So maybe the twins asked for 50,000 to do a 3 som. Who knows. But unless I actually see it myself, I just don’t buy “i once knew” and “another guy I know” stories.
 
And about that italicized part...I get what you’re saying, but I don’t want to feed into that too much. I personally don’t feel White/Whitish guys are at any more of an advantage than myself or another person of darker ethnicity. In the past I felt like they were, and in the big overall picture of all gay related things, yes gay White guys are generally going to facilitate more when it comes down to mainstream advertising.
 
But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a high demand for Black either. I recently had the relative of a client who passed away, donate to me his collection of porn (which would have been unnecessarily thrown out, had it not been for my persistence). There’s several dozen videos, all of them except maybe 2 or 3 were focused on black porn models, mainly interracial.
 
I believe the whole Big Black Cock/interracial genre has an edge over the preference you mentioned, because it’s not just gay clients who are into that. I can’t tell you how many straight, male clients of various races have come to me...wanting to bottom. And many have told me, when they want to bottom...they only look to have a BBC.
 
So the potential is there on our end. The issue is making sure we command the value, and get that across. No, I’m not going to fuck you raw for $100 , my rate starts at $250.

But you're talking about things that don't really involve the OP or his concern.
 
As to my reply, I directed it at guys who produce a ton of questionable content, not the Instagays who have a super-slick social media presence.
 
I can't disagree that a hot guy- of ANY race- will always get a second look and likely a first date. Bottom line, it's up that guy to be intelligent enough to handle his business in a way that keeps him desirable and his clients coming back for more. Being beautiful is only one piece of the pie when it comes to being someone's worldwide traveling companion.

Based on the number of prolific bareback porn star / OnlyFans escorts I know who either travel publicly with -- or are kept by -- fantastically wealthy regulars, the answer is yes, emphatically. It's not a small number, and it's growing not shrinking. It's a legit underground economy at this point, with New York, London, Dubai, California, and Zurich as the major players.
 
The truth is a hot face, dick, and body will almost always trump all other concerns, x1,000,000 if that hot face/dick/body belongs to a youngish white or white-ish guy. The "hottest" guys (where "hot" is based on the standard of the average wealthy older gay male client) don't have to do much to live comfortably, and I could name names but I won't lol
 
I'd steer clear of Twitter porn because if you have the look clients want, nowadays you can get the same result from Instagram alone without the baggage/stigma of having their identity attached to porn. The "hottest" Instagays and Insta-gays-for-pay are making a killing in their private messages. I know a guy and his twin, not escorts or porn stars, who got offered by a Silicon Valley exec $50k for a threesome. And they are nice-looking twins, but maybe 7s based on what I see clients here calling "hot." Do the math and imagine what those 8-10s get; they do very well, bareback porn or not.

Based on the number of prolific bareback porn star / OnlyFans escorts I know who either travel publicly with -- or are kept by -- fantastically wealthy regulars, the answer is yes, emphatically. It's not a small number, and it's growing not shrinking. It's a legit underground economy at this point, with New York, London, Dubai, California, and Zurich as the major players.
 
The truth is a hot face, dick, and body will almost always trump all other concerns, x1,000,000 if that hot face/dick/body belongs to a youngish white or white-ish guy. The "hottest" guys (where "hot" is based on the standard of the average wealthy older gay male client) don't have to do much to live comfortably, and I could name names but I won't lol
 
I'd steer clear of Twitter porn because if you have the look clients want, nowadays you can get the same result from Instagram alone without the baggage/stigma of having their identity attached to porn. The "hottest" Instagays and Insta-gays-for-pay are making a killing in their private messages. I know a guy and his twin, not escorts or porn stars, who got offered by a Silicon Valley exec $50k for a threesome. And they are nice-looking twins, but maybe 7s based on what I see clients here calling "hot." Do the math and imagine what those 8-10s get; they do very well, bareback porn or not.

Protecting my mental health in client cultivation, from most important to...nearly as important:
 
1) Use canned response app
2) Keep initial interactions energetic but direct/dispassionate
3) Move on when clients won't close; don't donate too much free time
4) Develop and nuture regulars
5) Block at first sign of drama / high maintenance
6) Take a self-care day once a week: off-grid, no notifications
7) Clean inbox frequently, deleting missed connections
8) Stick to my bedtime most days
9) Vaping and edibles
10) Use app with separate number, setup for business texting, with auto responses as needed
 
My balanced, can't-have-it-all approach. Downside is some income loss: a few legit clients end up as collateral damage, lost to my days off, (relatively) early bedtimes, and block-happy trigger finger. But I had to make the trade off. Engaging 24/7, fully invested, with *every* prospect no matter who, when, how, or what created super high levels of anxiety and burnout.

A missed connection is a non-appointment who hasn't responded in 48-72 hours. Could be a cancellation, someone with whom I've communicated extensively, or someone who called or texted once then ghosted. Either way, I will usually swing back around once in the next few gays to gauge interest. If still no response, DELETE DELETE DELETE
 

 
This is the trade-off I talk about. I'm 100% certain I've deleted, blocked, or otherwise dismissed a potential client who would have worked out had I put in a lot of effort. However, I've learned I can't invest that kind of time and energy 24/7 into everyone who reaches out. It's draining. So I accept that boundaries I need to protect my health and quality of service may lead to collateral damage.
 
A client may come across as entitled and high maintenance not because he's an a-hole, but because he's a newbie who doesn't "get it" yet. A client may flake multiple times not because he's rude, but because he's scared (and not out). With some guidance and patience, these scared newbies could become lucrative regulars. But I can no longer exhaust myself mentally, wading through all the bullshit to separate the jerks from the legit. So that means my blocking and deleting is likely losing me some business. But the trade-off in improved quality of life is worth it.

Protecting my mental health in client cultivation, from most important to...nearly as important:
 
1) Use canned response app
2) Keep initial interactions energetic but direct/dispassionate
3) Move on when clients won't close; don't donate too much free time
4) Develop and nuture regulars
5) Block at first sign of drama / high maintenance
6) Take a self-care day once a week: off-grid, no notifications
7) Clean inbox frequently, deleting missed connections
8) Stick to my bedtime most days
9) Vaping and edibles
10) Use app with separate number, setup for business texting, with auto responses as needed
 
My balanced, can't-have-it-all approach. Downside is some income loss: a few legit clients end up as collateral damage, lost to my days off, (relatively) early bedtimes, and block-happy trigger finger. But I had to make the trade off. Engaging 24/7, fully invested, with *every* prospect no matter who, when, how, or what created super high levels of anxiety and burnout.

Protecting my mental health in client cultivation, from most important to...nearly as important:
 
1) Use canned response app
2) Keep initial interactions energetic but direct/dispassionate
3) Move on when clients won't close; don't donate too much free time
4) Develop and nuture regulars
5) Block at first sign of drama / high maintenance
6) Take a self-care day once a week: off-grid, no notifications
7) Clean inbox frequently, deleting missed connections
8) Stick to my bedtime most days
9) Vaping and edibles
10) Use app with separate number, setup for business texting, with auto responses as needed
 
My balanced, can't-have-it-all approach. Downside is some income loss: a few legit clients end up as collateral damage, lost to my days off, (relatively) early bedtimes, and block-happy trigger finger. But I had to make the trade off. Engaging 24/7, fully invested, with *every* prospect no matter who, when, how, or what created super high levels of anxiety and burnout.

Protecting my mental health in client cultivation, from most important to...nearly as important:
 
1) Use canned response app
2) Keep initial interactions energetic but direct/dispassionate
3) Move on when clients won't close; don't donate too much free time
4) Develop and nuture regulars
5) Block at first sign of drama / high maintenance
6) Take a self-care day once a week: off-grid, no notifications
7) Clean inbox frequently, deleting missed connections
8) Stick to my bedtime most days
9) Vaping and edibles
10) Use app with separate number, setup for business texting, with auto responses as needed
 
My balanced, can't-have-it-all approach. Downside is some income loss: a few legit clients end up as collateral damage, lost to my days off, (relatively) early bedtimes, and block-happy trigger finger. But I had to make the trade off. Engaging 24/7, fully invested, with *every* prospect no matter who, when, how, or what created super high levels of anxiety and burnout.

I'd say send three short texts:
1) Hi, I'm JohnDoe, discreet married 60ish (or any relevant indentifying info), got your info from yyy.com. Hot zzz!
2) Are you available now/later/00.00pm for incall/outcall at [insert location]?
3) I'm a top/bottom/oral only/vers/etc looking for [insert a few details here]. Thanks!
 
Emphasis on brevity, clarity, normalcy.

I'd say send three short texts:
1) Hi, I'm JohnDoe, discreet married 60ish (or any relevant indentifying info), got your info from yyy.com. Hot zzz!
2) Are you available now/later/00.00pm for incall/outcall at [insert location]?
3) I'm a top/bottom/oral only/vers/etc looking for [insert a few details here]. Thanks!
 
Emphasis on brevity, clarity, normalcy.

I'd say send three short texts:
1) Hi, I'm JohnDoe, discreet married 60ish (or any relevant indentifying info), got your info from yyy.com. Hot zzz!
2) Are you available now/later/00.00pm for incall/outcall at [insert location]?
3) I'm a top/bottom/oral only/vers/etc looking for [insert a few details here]. Thanks!
 
Emphasis on brevity, clarity, normalcy.

And for the love of gawd, if you're bottoming, douche.

It all boils down to respect. Disrespectful clients are the absolute worst. I'm sure clients feel the same about disrespectful escorts.
 
1) Follow instructions. If he asks you to give an ETA when you leave your place to head over, give an ETA when you leave to head over. Not 30 minutes after you leave, not when you're 5 min away. If he says to call when you park, don't just show up at his door, do what he asked you to do. If he asks you to text not call, text, don't call. If he asks to call not text, call, don't text. Not following instructions is my #1 client pet peeve.
 
Besides that, 2) being respectful of time is key. Flaking is terrible. Assuming he has unlimited time for endless small talk, or to text or chat with you while you make up your mind is also very bad. Ghosting after exchanging a ton of messages is rude. Hitting up an escort to meet with the expectation that he doesn't need any prep time is something the worst clients do. This assumption that some have that providers have no life outside of escorting and no resaponsibilities besides catering to one guy's needs is very off-putting.
 
3) And lastly, a related to all of the above, please don't treat providers like they're stupid or unworthy of respect. That's a big no-no. If he's giving you instructions, there's a smart reason for them, show respect by following them. Respect his time. Don't talk down to him. Use complete sentences -- he's not an idiot. Don't order him around (unless that's part of the scene). Don't force him to drink alcohol if he doesn't want, don't push/pull him around etc.
 
4) Be clear, concise, and direct about your needs and expectations. That solves a lot of problems. Do not force him to probe and drag it out of you what you're looking for, when, where, concerns, needs, expectations, etc. Just spit out. Tell him. It's so much easier for all involved than a neverending series of hellos, his, how/where are yous, wyd, and i like your pictures/reviews.
 
Kindness and respect go a long way. Unfortunately, the clients and escorts who need to hear this aren't on this forum.

I don't mind charging clients less for sessions that require less work. Everyone is different. I don't mind negotiation. Haggling has such a negative context.