Relationships/Networking/Staying Relevant In The Business

[Mocha]

I hope I can convey this to make sense. But, the other night I was out hanging with some friends having a good time, when suddenly a wave of emotion hit me, and I had to quickly excuse myself.

 

Eventually a friend was able to help me pull myself together, but the tears seemed to have helped me clarify what I was feeling. The next day, I started piecing together what lead up to the breakdown. I was able to find some solutions within, but I’m still working on the steps to take in order to get there.

 

Basically, I been at a place where I’ve just not been content at where I am, 10 years in it. This is along the lines of a previous thread, discussing porn stars and how I feel they get much more recognition. That’s not being jealous or envious, but I feel just the very word “escort” has been subtracted off of so many websites, that I feel we’re a “suppressed” breed, and porn is the way to get recognition out here. With Rentmen reconfiguring their whole site to advertise “porn stars”, it further insinuates that porn Star is preferred over escort. In a general sense, not individually speaking. Yes we as escorts are valuable and important to our clients. But, that’s not what social media and websites are displaying.

 

That’s just 1 aspect of it. I’ve also realized that I’ve not been networking with other guys in the business as much as I could. Palm Springs weekend was a great opportunity to come out and meet other guys in the business. But outside of that, for most of my time in the business, that’s been the largest way to interact in a setting with other providers.

 

Lately I’ve been trying to commit more to Twitter, not just for business and marketing, but to connect and feel connected. However, I’m noticing that if you’re not doing porn and steadily putting out material about your sexcapades with other names, you’re pretty much irrelevant. And I’ve been wondering why I’ve not been getting the level of followers like other guys have, and after browsing thru and seeing who’s the most popular...it’s the ones who are doing porn, and doing it regularly.

 

Then, it made me realize I’ve been wasting my time all this time, meeting people outside of the business who aren’t doing nothing to enhance my career. All these random Grindr, nights at the club and occasional Facebook/Twitter meets with guys who aren’t in the business. Me thinking I’m “just having fun” and trying to “have some “me” time outside of the business”. It’s all been a waste of time, because other than the sexual pleasure from it, most of it didn’t lead to any sort of committed relationship to build a life. I’m still single, and fucking them didn’t make ends, unless they gave me permission to film them..in which case it likely added some spunk to my Rentmen profile.

 

I’m not trying to say, “I’m only going to have sex to enhance my business”. But these losers I’ve been meeting haven’t been bringing nothing to the table. I met a guy in Las Vegas (via Twitter fan), had an amazing 5 days together. It seemed like he was consistent in staying in touch, but 3 weeks later, things didn’t work out and he blocked me on social media.

 

I just felt so dumb. I got my hopes up over someone who added no value, didn’t contribute anything to my business, networking, or anything. I even suggested to him we would make a killer duo because we both are ethnic, tops (out goes the myth that 2 of a kind ♥️ ♥️ can’t have fun lol) and have big Uncut dicks. But he couldn’t “do this type of work”.

 

At this point now, I’m just trying to figure out what’s the next step. Why haven’t I got into porn? I ask myself that. But I know why. I wasn’t 100% comfortable getting on video most of my career. I didn’t even realize it was necessary. And even now, I could still maintain without being on Twitter and porn. But beyond the reviews, there’s not much other recognition. That’s not to say all attention is good attention (or conducive to business), but I don’t want to be in the business just to be in it. I want to be respected, acknowledged and admired just like the other guys. And I want other people to know that, not just in he privacy of the bedroom.

 

One of my friends was like, are you wanting to be popular? Not necessarily. I’m not really that “I’m friends with everyone type of person”. Lately I’ve slowed down reaching out to other providers though. I feel some guys get so fixated on “the business”, it can almost suppress my own zest and creativity, when there’s so many opinions and “you should do this, or you should be doing that”. So lately I’ve Just been keeping to myself.

 

However at the end of the day, I still want others to help me be known and appreciated and I want to know and appreciate others as well.

[Mocha]

In case anyone is confused on what the question is, there isn’t 1 in particular. It’s just a general point of view, and seeing what the overall consensus is regarding the 3 subjects.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Re: Twitter.

 

You don't need to put out porn to be relevant... You need to have a (figurative) voice that people want to listen to.

 

If you sell yourself as a fuckhole or a piece of meat, that's how someone is going to treat you. If you can piece together relevant, funny, interesting tweets, some great clients can be had from seeing that.

 

Too many guys think that posting low-quality porn vids of themselves is going to land them business. Do you really think that long-term, higher-end clients want to be seen with someone who's got bareback videos all over the web? No.

 

It sounds as if you're at a crossroads. Clearly, you are intelligent and have the drive: You will figure this out.

 

My main piece of advice is to not get on the porn hamster wheel... and wear SPF.

Edited June 3, 2019 by Benjamin_Nicholas

[Kevin Slater]

My main piece of advice is to not get into the porn hamster wheel.

 

Definitely not hamster porn. Ewww.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Definitely not hamster porn. Ewww.

 

Kevin Slater

 

Well, you can see how well that did for Richard Gere.

 

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/richard-gere-gerbil/

[Mocha]

Re: Twitter.

 

You don't need to put out porn to be relevant... You need to have a (figurative) voice that people want to listen to.

 

If you sell yourself as a fuckhole or a piece of meat, that's how someone is going to treat you. If you can piece together relevant, funny, interesting tweets, some great clients can be had from seeing that.

 

Too many guys think that posting low-quality porn vids of themselves is going to land them business. Do you really think that long-term, higher-end clients want to be seen with someone who's got bareback videos all over the web? No.

 

It sounds as if you're at a crossroads. Clearly, you are intelligent and have the drive: You will figure this out.

 

My main piece of advice is to not get on the porn hamster wheel... and wear SPF.

 

Thanks for your input...lol, porn hamster ? wheel though had me cracking up.

 

I don’t want to upset anyone off by picking at anyone’s particular porn choice activities. However, I can say I really think some of the porn out has indirectly brought me business. That’s why I’m feeling so magnetized towards it right now, because when I see the things some of my clients want, it’s similar to the fantasy that the porn industry (more specifically, producers like chi chi la Rue) has driven.

 

But as I’ve said, I don’t want to go into porn until I’ve settled any flaws that may hold me back. I’ve heard how cutthroat the business can be. At the same time, I feel like I should be ready. I’ve done the nude photo shoots, I’ve fucked in front of people at swingers clubs and bathhouses...I feel I’m at the point where I can take that step.

 

I can say I was offended by what 2 people said to me last year (who shall remain anonymous). One asked if I’d wait until I’m 50 to do porn, and another said my “time was up” long time ago. No honey, my PRIME just started. I think the ages of 30-40 years of escorting are going to be the best of them all. I’m already seeing the results. I’m getting clients in their 20s in addition to the main 30-50 segment.

 

When I was in Florida, I had a client call me and call a popular porn escort. The client ended up meeting me instead, because the escort wanted 400/hr. He still ended up giving me 700 by the end of the night. Me and that client are still in touch today.

 

So, people (even clients) shouldn’t make us non-porn escorts feel irrelevant or inferior to those who are in film. By all means, I respect and admire those in the film biz, but ain’t no 1 group running shit out here. For 6 years I wasn’t on any social media platforms, and was still getting them like clockwork. Porn is porn, escorting is escorting.

 

But for the most part, my feelings of where I’m at in the biz still echo the words in this video:

 

[MEDIA=dailymotion]xpqb4i[/MEDIA]

[ChicagoGuy]

FWIW, I’ve only hired two porn actors out of the 10-12 escorts I have hired. Everyone has equal shot at making it in the industry I think. Other escorts’ ability to build beneficial relationships is what sets them apart and gives them longevity.

[Mocha]

FWIW, I’ve only hired two porn actors out of the 10-12 escorts I have hired. Everyone has equal shot at making it in the industry I think. Other escorts’ ability to build beneficial relationships is what sets them apart and gives them longevity.

 

That’s quite surprising for Chicago. I’d imagine it’s the XXX Capitol of the Midwest

[Aaron_Bauder]

Do you really think that long-term, higher-end clients want to be seen with someone who's got bareback videos all over the web?

 

Based on the number of prolific bareback porn star / OnlyFans escorts I know who either travel publicly with -- or are kept by -- fantastically wealthy regulars, the answer is yes, emphatically. It's not a small number, and it's growing not shrinking. It's a legit underground economy at this point, with New York, London, Dubai, California, and Zurich as the major players.

 

The truth is a hot face, dick, and body will almost always trump all other concerns, x1,000,000 if that hot face/dick/body belongs to a youngish white or white-ish guy. The "hottest" guys (where "hot" is based on the standard of the average wealthy older gay male client) don't have to do much to live comfortably, and I could name names but I won't lol

 

I'd steer clear of Twitter porn because if you have the look clients want, nowadays you can get the same result from Instagram alone without the baggage/stigma of having their identity attached to porn. The "hottest" Instagays and Insta-gays-for-pay are making a killing in their private messages. I know a guy and his twin, not escorts or porn stars, who got offered by a Silicon Valley exec $50k for a threesome. And they are nice-looking twins, but maybe 7s based on what I see clients here calling "hot." Do the math and imagine what those 8-10s get; they do very well, bareback porn or not.

Edited June 9, 2019 by Aaron_Bauder

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Based on the number of prolific bareback porn star / OnlyFans escorts I know who either travel publicly with -- or are kept by -- fantastically wealthy regulars, the answer is yes, emphatically. It's not a small number, and it's growing not shrinking. It's a legit underground economy at this point, with New York, London, Dubai, California, and Zurich as the major players.

 

The truth is a hot face, dick, and body will almost always trump all other concerns, x1,000,000 if that hot face/dick/body belongs to a youngish white or white-ish guy. The "hottest" guys (where "hot" is based on the standard of the average wealthy older gay male client) don't have to do much to live comfortably, and I could name names but I won't lol

 

I'd steer clear of Twitter porn because if you have the look clients want, nowadays you can get the same result from Instagram alone without the baggage/stigma of having their identity attached to porn. The "hottest" Instagays and Insta-gays-for-pay are making a killing in their private messages. I know a guy and his twin, not escorts or porn stars, who got offered by a Silicon Valley exec $50k for a threesome. And they are nice-looking twins, but maybe 7s based on what I see clients here calling "hot." Do the math and imagine what those 8-10s get; they do very well, bareback porn or not.

 

But you're talking about things that don't really involve the OP or his concern.

 

As to my reply, I directed it at guys who produce a ton of questionable content, not the Instagays who have a super-slick social media presence.

 

I can't disagree that a hot guy- of ANY race- will always get a second look and likely a first date. Bottom line, it's up that guy to be intelligent enough to handle his business in a way that keeps him desirable and his clients coming back for more. Being beautiful is only one piece of the pie when it comes to being someone's worldwide traveling companion.

[Mocha]

The truth is a hot face, dick, and body will almost always trump all other concerns, x1,000,000 if that hot face/dick/body belongs to a youngish white or white-ish guy.

 

I know a guy and his twin, not escorts or porn stars, who got offered by a Silicon Valley exec $50k for a threesome. And they are nice-looking twins, but maybe 7s based on what I see clients here calling "hot." Do the math and imagine what those 8-10s get; they do very well, bareback porn or not.

 

 

Well sounds like you’ve got quite a bit of insider’s information for sure. However, I’m always a bit skeptical ? when it comes down to numbers being thrown around. $50,000 sounds like an “offer”, but did it actually go thru? It just doesn’t sound like a real thing. Not saying you’re not telling the truth (and of course you know I’m a fan of a lot of the tips and advice you share), but I don’t feel the twin’s or whoever it initially came from, story adds up.

 

I already know clients don’t generally “offer” money. It’s more of an ask and you shall receive, and you may receive some extra on top of it too. So maybe the twins asked for 50,000 to do a 3 som. Who knows. But unless I actually see it myself, I just don’t buy “i once knew” and “another guy I know” stories.

 

And about that italicized part...I get what you’re saying, but I don’t want to feed into that too much. I personally don’t feel White/Whitish guys are at any more of an advantage than myself or another person of darker ethnicity. In the past I felt like they were, and in the big overall picture of all gay related things, yes gay White guys are generally going to facilitate more when it comes down to mainstream advertising.

 

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a high demand for Black either. I recently had the relative of a client who passed away, donate to me his collection of porn (which would have been unnecessarily thrown out, had it not been for my persistence). There’s several dozen videos, all of them except maybe 2 or 3 were focused on black porn models, mainly interracial.

 

I believe the whole Big Black Cock/interracial genre has an edge over the preference you mentioned, because it’s not just gay clients who are into that. I can’t tell you how many straight, male clients of various races have come to me...wanting to bottom. And many have told me, when they want to bottom...they only look to have a BBC.

 

So the potential is there on our end. The issue is making sure we command the value, and get that across. No, I’m not going to fuck you raw for $100 , my rate starts at $250.

[Aaron_Bauder]

Well sounds like you’ve got quite a bit of insider’s information for sure. However, I’m always a bit skeptical ? when it comes down to numbers being thrown around. $50,000 sounds like an “offer”, but did it actually go thru? It just doesn’t sound like a real thing. Not saying you’re not telling the truth (and of course you know I’m a fan of a lot of the tips and advice you share), but I don’t feel the twin’s or whoever it initially came from, story adds up.

 

I already know clients don’t generally “offer” money. It’s more of an ask and you shall receive, and you may receive some extra on top of it too. So maybe the twins asked for 50,000 to do a 3 som. Who knows. But unless I actually see it myself, I just don’t buy “i once knew” and “another guy I know” stories.

 

Oh, I wasn't seeking approval or validation lol. I know what I said it true and happened exactly as I described it. If others don't buy it or don't believe it then that means...they don't buy it or believe it. It's not the end of the world, it doesn't change the reality I lived or make my description of it any less true, and it doesn't affect me at all. People can believe or not believe what they want, who cares really? Life goes on.

 

And yes they took the offer, and the twin I know promptly squandered his half on bs. You can spend $25k really, really quickly anywhere, but especially living in California.

 

The issue is making sure we command the value, and get that across. No, I’m not going to fuck you raw for $100 , my rate starts at $250.

 

Facts.

 

But some of these guys I reference, though, demand $400-$500 a pop and get it. It's incredible to me that people pay this, but they do. Most clients here are apoplectic about those amounts, but every now and again I see a comment indicating that for certain guys, even our picky clients posting here would pony up. So there is a very high end market, and the reality is it is almost all white dudes. Getting paid multiple $1000s just to *travel* as eye candy with no sex (a straight friend of mine); there's another bodybuilder guy I know who gets close to a $1000 a pop from certain clients in Los Angeles just to be sucked off (and this provider is known to clients here, although he does not sell that as a regular rate). I'm not so much bitter and jealous as I am stunned and amused. Watch whiteness work, as they say. It is what it is.

Edited June 10, 2019 by Aaron_Bauder

[Walker1]

Good luck. Just my experience , I have always been disappointed in the porn escorts. One price is way high, two I go in expecting to meet the two dimensional figure and get a real human:p

 

There is some of that with an escort, but not as much with someone who does a lot of porn. But that is just me.

[hypothetically]

Bottom line, it's up that guy to be intelligent enough to handle his business in a way that keeps him desirable and his clients coming back for more. Being beautiful is only one piece of the pie when it comes to being someone's worldwide traveling companion.

 

Most escorts do not understand nor know how to properly execute this sentiment. There’s so much that goes into having success and longevity in the business, and resting on beautiful isn’t one of those things. It actually requires a lot of strategy and intellect.

[JTtorretto]

Most escorts do not understand nor know how to properly execute this sentiment. There’s so much that goes into having success and longevity in the business, and resting on beautiful isn’t one of those things. It actually requires a lot of strategy and intellect.

 

 

 

Couldn’t agree more. It also requires making a CONNECTION in order to build a repeat clientele. I find this enormously important if you are seeking a long term, lucrative career.

 

This past week while I was in LA, I was rehired by 3 separate clients that I’d been hired by previously in SF, Dallas & Chicago, respectively.

 

In the past Ive encountered a couple escorts who expressed they’d rather be hired by a “new client” rather then a repeat client if needing to make that choice in an evening. (Expressing how much more “exciting” it is to meet someone new and the “potential” of them being someone super “special”, “hot”, “wealthy” etc). ?. So dumb in my opinion.

A quality repeat clientele is essential.

[Mocha]

Oh, I wasn't seeking approval or validation lol. I know what I said it true and happened exactly as I described it. If others don't buy it or don't believe it then that means...they don't buy it or believe it. It's not the end of the world, it doesn't change the reality I lived or make my description of it any less true, and it doesn't affect me at all. People can believe or not believe what they want, who cares really? Life goes on.

 

And yes they took the offer, and the twin I know promptly squandered his half on bs. You can spend $25k really, really quickly anywhere, but especially living in California.

 

 

 

Facts.

 

But some of these guys I reference, though, demand $400-$500 a pop and get it. It's incredible to me that people pay this, but they do. Most clients here are apoplectic about those amounts, but every now and again I see a comment indicating that for certain guys, even our picky clients posting here would pony up. So there is a very high end market, and the reality is it is almost all white dudes. Getting paid multiple $1000s just to *travel* as eye candy with no sex (a straight friend of mine); there's another bodybuilder guy I know who gets close to a $1000 a pop from certain clients in Los Angeles just to be sucked off (and this provider is known to clients here, although he does not sell that as a regular rate). I'm not so much bitter and jealous as I am stunned and amused. Watch whiteness work, as they say. It is what it is.

 

Trust me, I believe you. And it is true. I’ve discussed the same topic many times before. I was one of the (only) 1st escorts on this forum, to question why there wasn’t more reviews on Black providers here.

 

But what I am saying is, I don’t care anymore. I don’t care if other White escorts are getting paid or reviewed more. I just care that the clients I do have, keep seeing me, and that I’m doing what I need to do to make it.

 

I may not have been paid $25,000 for something before, but I do have reliable clients in other states who I can contact at any time, and they’ll come thru for me. I’m sure the $50,000 client will likely be a 1 time thing.

[Mocha]

Couldn’t agree more. It also requires making a CONNECTION in order to build a repeat clientele. I find this enormously important if you are seeking a long term, lucrative career.

 

This past week while I was in LA, I was rehired by 3 separate clients that I’d been hired by previously in SF, Dallas & Chicago, respectively.

 

In the past Ive encountered a couple escorts who expressed they’d rather be hired by a “new client” rather then a repeat client if needing to make that choice in an evening. (Expressing how much more “exciting” it is to meet someone new and the “potential” of them being someone super “special”, “hot”, “wealthy” etc). ?. So dumb in my opinion.

A quality repeat clientele is essential.

 

I can understand the thrill of the new client, however there’s a saying in business that it costs (I believe) 3 times as much to secure a new client than to keep a current one. And it’s true.

 

I have regulars I’ve known for years. And I also want to pull @Robster into this conversation because we both misunderstood a situation I discussed awhile back, about escorts “taking” certain clients of mine. To be clear, there was no taking of Pelham 123 (10 year anniversary haha).

 

 

I was so wrong. This particular escort didn’t take my client. It just so happened that the escort was in closer proximity to my client, therefore they began linking up more often, and naturally, my client couldn’t afford to hire us both.

 

Well...just this past week, I finally reconnected with my “client friend” (we’ve known each other about 5 years, but haven’t met in about 2). Spent a fun 3 days together, went hiking in Yellowstone Park, took some AMAZING pics, and in fact I reached out to the other escort (at the suggestion of my client) and let him know I’m open to link up. Even though he wasn’t available...there’s a good chance that at some point we could end up in a 3 way situation, as all 3 of us seem to be open to it.

 

Just goes to show, a good regular will always be around for a good escort even when other client or escort options abound.