maninsoma

When I was a young adult (40+ years ago), "trade" definitely meant either a straight identified guy who is nonetheless having sex with men or a hyper masculine gay guy. Watching Ru Paul's Drag Race, and looking at the Wikipedia definition page, it's clear that usage of this term has evolved to now mean basically someone who is particularly sexually desirable. The queens on RPDR will say who the "trade of the season" is and sometimes it's a guy who looks particularly masculine out of drag but other times it's a very cute, somewhat feminine looking guy.

One of the scams that seems most common is that someone different shows up and either (a) the client goes through with the appointment anyway because they deem the guy to be "good enough" or (b) if the person advertising is really just a thief, the guy demands money in a threatening manner, so the client turns over the fee and gets nothing in return other than intimidation. Sadly, just because someone pays for an ad on Rent.men doesn't mean they aren't a thief. A thief isn't going to keep the same ad running a long time, but think about how easy it would be for someone to advertise for a month and rob people who contacted him, and then do it again using a different name, different photos and a different "burner" phone number. It's safe to say that most men who are ripped off in this way aren't going to go to authorities because of the nature of the meeting, so the thief can get away with this with a very low chance of getting caught.

Assuming your post was made in earnest, I'd suggest canceling whatever appointment you made and then taking a step back. I'm not saying that hiring someone for your first-time experience is the wrong thing to do, but I think it might be in your case. You wrote that you are expecting this to be the only sexual experience of your entire life. Why? Might it not be more helpful for you in the long run to figure out why you have been avoiding potential intimacy your entire life so far when it seems like that's something you want? If you want to go ahead with hiring someone to be your first and potentially only experience, I suggest that it makes more sense to hire someone where their legitimacy is not in question. Find someone who has been discussed here whose looks you like, and reach out to him; or, second best (because I think reviews on advertising sites like Rent.men can more often be fake), reach out to someone with a history of positive reviews elsewhere.

I'm not sure that you, as a client, are in the position to figure this out unless it's so blatantly obvious that even a moron would know something is wrong. For example, some escorts in the past worked for a well known agency (now defunct) which took a percentage of their fee in exchange for handling inquiries, making referrals, and scheduling appointments. This was a voluntary arrangement from what I could tell (I never saw anyone suggest that these men were somehow coerced into working for the agency). I never quite understood why that agency was so popular in its geographic area since I'd rather communicate directly with a provider and I don't know why a provider would want to give up part of his earnings for the services being offered by the agency, but it obviously worked for some guys. This is entirely different than someone who meets a young homeless person, sets them up with their first appointment, and then controls their bookings and cash flow. I once hired a guy with very limited English language skills, something I did not know until I showed up for my appointment with him. Obviously someone else communicated with me in advance to arrange the appointment and didn't let me know they weren't actually the provider I was seeking to hire. The appointment turned out alright and I'm pretty sure the guy wasn't being exploited/trafficked; he probably just had someone else handling bookings from him due to his language issues (not speaking English fluently in a country with mostly monolingual English speakers).

I think the truth is in the middle. No, you didn't bully FaustOust, but I think you may be off base in your criticism. He's only been a member of the site since May 22, so it's entirely possible that his original post was not knowingly pot-stirring but genuinely naive. Unless you have good reason to believe that FaustOust has actually been around a lot longer under a different name (which I know has happened with some forum members), I think that taking his questions at face value is the right thing to do.

Pretty sure this is the same guy who worked with Will (TantraWill or whatever name he used) years ago in San Francisco. I remember reading good things about them. I tried to connect with Will but he never replied to either my messages or texts. Kev should update the age in his profile since it isn't flattering to claim to be an age which he's clearly not. It's one thing to age shave a bit if you can pull it off, but just glancing at his current photos and the age my first thought is that for someone in his early forties he looks old. That isn't exactly great marketing.

I hired more off Craigslist and Adam4Adam than Rentboy or, later, Rentmen. I hired a lot of guys who never ended up advertising on any of the major escort or masseur websites.

I can generally ignore the music being played unless it stands out for some reason. I've had a few memorable experiences: One guy who gave a very good massage but who was definitely "out there" mentally from my perspective started his playlist with Gary Wright's "Dream Weaver." I like the song, but in the context it was kind of corny. One guy who gave a horrible massage actually just had the TV on. At some point I asked if he could just turn it off since it was so annoying. I understand a provider wanting to have some sort of playlist because that can help them keep track of the time without needing to look at a clock. I enjoy background music when it's well chosen to fit the mood and not just generic "new age" stuff.

Yes, those people/characters all have the initials BB.

I use Chrome to access rentmen.eu via hide.me. It doesn't work in Firefox for me (repeated requests to click OK to access the site). It also doesn't work on rent.men for me, just rentmen.eu.

Sometime in the early 1990s or maybe it was the late 1980s: I was in a relationship with someone who was very sexually active outside of our relationship. I was quite a shy guy but wanted to hook up with someone who was my ultimate "type," so I hired a guy advertising in the Bay Area Reporter. He was very nice and quite the looker, but what I remember most is that he had one of his testicles removed due to cancer and thus his "functioning" wasn't the best. We did have some nice foreplay/affection, though.

1. It's an internet forum. Except those that are heavily moderated, most online forums have posters who love to be nasty to other people. Whether they are just nasty people 24/7 or just get a kick out of ruffling others' feathers, I don't know. 2. If you just drop in on some threads here and don't know the history of the posters, you might wonder why people are responding to each other with a high level of sarcasm. If you stick around long enough, though, some of the overt hostility begins to make sense even though I personally think it makes sense to just ignore people one finds ridiculous.

I've never understood paying the going rate for an escort for a guy who is advertising on a massage website. It really isn't even clear what he's offering based on the text in his ad. It could be just a very expensive rub & tug.

There's a lot more to do in Vegas in terms of entertainment, so if one has the funds to go to shows regularly I'd choose Vegas. I like Palm Springs a lot more, though. I'm not interested in gambling. Seeing gambling everywhere is just a turn off to me. I also don't think that Vegas feels particularly gay, even though there are obviously a lot of gay men living there. Most significantly, however, are the views in Palm Springs versus Vegas. I really enjoy seeing the mountains in the near distance in Palm Springs.

I still remember a new coworker (who didn't last long, but I don't know why she left) several years ago who asked a lot of what I considered to be too personal of questions on the first day she met me: What's my religious background? Am I single? Why haven't I found a boyfriend? Etc. I learned relatively early in my adulthood to recognize people with poor boundaries and I keep them at bay.

After reading some of the replies, I went back to reread the original post. I think my issue is that the prospective client wanted an escort to pretend to be a boyfriend in a committed relationship with him. That's quite different than going to a gathering with a client and being introduced simply as a date, which could mean that the two only recently met. For those escorts who replied that they would do this, are you saying you would actually go along with the fantasy to the extent of talking about a fake life together with your client's friends/associates? I still think that sounds incredible awkward, to say the least.

I don't see how what the client suggested would even work unless the two of you already knew each other somewhat from repeated appointments. How can one pretend to be someone's boyfriend without knowing anything about him? I fully support your decision solely based on not wanting to attempt to deceive others.

After reading your various recent comments, I want to suggest that you try not to view this guy as a black-and-white situation. By that I mean his lack of response as to whether you'd see each other again was perhaps just an honest lack of having an answer, not an unspoken communication. His not continuing to see you at the moment doesn't necessary mean anything about all of the time you spent with each other in the past; it's just in the present he has other priorities. Yes, that does mean that you aren't his #1 priority but it doesn't sound like you ever let yourself get so far down the path of believing something that wasn't true that you are surprised that you aren't his first priority. Maybe he was just a good actor and his time spent with you was all about the money, but that doesn't sound true to me based on everything you wrote. Sometimes relationships/friendships come to a close, but that doesn't mean that everything that came before was a lie.

There is no set definition. Here's the most recent discussion here regarding what BFE means to different people: Maybe a moderator can move this to "Questions About Hiring" or merge it with the other thread since this isn't asking about a specific escort?

I also think he's very attractive, but I can only spend so much time watching a hot, naked man who's just a tease. Good on the guys who can make a living doing this (as long as the subscribers realize that's all they are going to get), but it isn't for me. I'd rather watch BritishTwunk (a similar sort of guy in terms of looks) who actually enjoys getting fucked on camera.

The site is definitely not ready for prime time. Two major issues I found within the first two minutes: 1. If I search my area and then filter by massage type, only a small number of listings shows. The list does not expand as I scroll down, even though there are more ads in my area that feature the type of massage I selected. Nor is there any navigation button or arrow to load more ads. If I remove the filter, the full list returns and I can continue scrolling down until I see every ad in my area. 2. Filtering my distance is a mess. I got a few listings in my city (not sorted in the correct order of distance because I've hired some of these guys and I know where they are), and then my list is is a hodge-podge of men as far away as Sacramento (I am in San Francisco). I didn't select "available now" or anything else, so I don't know why it's showing me so few men who are actually near me and then showing men in Oakland, Hayward and Sacramento. Filtering by distance also does not work on rentmasseur.com when I'm not logged in, but it works properly when I am logged in.

Here's an analogy (and I'm sure there are others): Does a psychotherapist only pretend to be interested in and care about his patients, just because that interest and caring has limits and occurs within a business transaction? I don't think so. Does that genuine caring and interest mean that the therapist would relax professional boundaries and start spending time with the client outside of paid sessions? No. I don't think that negates what happens during that patient's "hour," though. Just as with escorts, though, I think it's important that clients acknowledge the limitations of the relationships. With an escort, it's a "boyfriend experience while you are together" not a "boyfriend." Psychotherapists have legal and ethical standards to follow, so they risk disciplinary action if they befriend a client outside of their professional relationship. Escorts have no such external guidelines, so the way to know that you have developed an actual relationship (whether that be romantic/sexual or platonic/friendly) is that the two of you spend time together without any compensation exchanging hands. If that hasn't happened, then it is truly nothing more than a business relationship even if there are fond feelings during the appointments.

I know we've discussed age shaving a lot on this forum, but my rule is basically this: 5 years or so is acceptable for someone who can pull that off. Much more than that and it begins to get into fraud territory. A lot more than that and it's just downright silly. There is an escort near me who hasn't changed his age in over two decades. I don't care what kind of shape you're in or how youthful your face looks -- a man in his 60s is not going to pass for a man who is 39 years old except in his own deluded mind.

My answer is "it depends." If the "white lie" was provided in order to cover up the fact that the guy just isn't attentive to time, I could overlook it as long as the delay wasn't too large. In fact, hiring escorts was one of the things that caused me to become more relaxed in terms of arrival times since I had to admit that someone arriving right on time wasn't nearly as important to me as someone providing an excellent experience. If the "white lie" is given to hide significant issues that would cause me to not want to spend time with the guy, then it matters.

Well, I had a basic breakfast dish (maybe it was eggs, toast, breakfast meat or maybe it was an omelet -- I don't really recall) and I didn't think it was any better than Denny's. I just compared prices online and, for that kind of meal, the cost seems pretty similar so either Denny's raised their prices more or I was just under a mistaken notion regarding the relative costs. I almost never eat at chain restaurants unless it's a local chain with just a few locations.