Tajoki

Funny enough — I had a provider tell me BB usually comes at a higher rate.
His reasoning was just “better experience,” but it also felt like something he could leverage to charge more.
I remember laughing and going,
“okay… but you’re enjoying it more too, right?”
Because it never really feels like a one-sided upgrade.

Can we pretend you and I are on Grindr and you can offer me the discounted rate?  😉 

1. The reason why we want to text outside the Grindr platform because Grindr bans accounts that talk about transaction and money.  

2. I actually had a very good experience with Grindr. Over the summer of 2025, I remembered I was averaging around 20ish clients per month from July-September just from Grindr alone. It is harder to get clients on RM if you stayed in a city for over a year, because you are no longer the new face. On Grindr, you will ALWAYS be a NEW FACE when you move around to different areas since profiles are distance-based.
 
3. In my experience, RM heavily relies on clients with Asian fetish. Grindr clients are picky and very into looks; they are very discriminatory toward Asians, so being a muscle Asian helps out alot. Relying on Asian fetish wont get me far on Grindr. So you need to make sure your body is as muscular as possible and hit the GYM. 

4. Any Asian guy can get clients on RM, but on Grindr it is an uphill battle especially if are not muscular/attractive. 
 
5. I would say I get more clients from Grindr when RM starts to slow. On RM I go more expensive because all of the guys using the platform are 100% clients and they will pay your asking rate. On Grindr, I go cheaper because you are targeting normal people who have never used escorts before. Plus, you cannot go too expensive on younger clients.
6. On Grindr, go cheaper on young or hot/attractive guys. More expensive on older.

7. In my case, my clients from Grindr are mostly young guys in 20-30s. I dont often get older clients on Grindr. Most of the attractive clients I ever encountered were all from Grindr. And yes, believe me hot guys do actually pay for these services. On RM, there are more older.
8. Just two days ago I went to Queens, NY to visit my friend and I got a cute Colombian client right away from Grindr on my first day there. I paid my buddy a fee to host at his house 🤣. My Latin buddy was stunned that I was able to get client on Grindr that easily. He would not have believed me had he not seen it in person. Grindr is life!

for me, without a name attached to it, the complaint means nothing.  I had an issue with a provider (non-deposit related) and when I posted here about it, the provider was suddenly very quick to want to resolve it. I would imagine you will have similar reaction, so I encourage you to do so. 
 
side note - I have followed this simple common sense rules -  SMALL deposit ($50 max and/or uber covered) to well reviewed provider both here and rentmen, and never to a provider who lists or indulges in PNP.  Any and all horror stories I hear on these forums people have deviated from these common sense rules. 
 

To me deposits themselves aren’t really the issue here. It really comes down to booking risk.

As clients, we worry about being scammed or ghosted after sending money. On the other side, providers worry about driving across town, booking hotels, or blocking out time only for the client to disappear. In a way both sides are just trying to shift the risk to the other side.

From a client perspective, the more useful question isn’t really “deposit or no deposit,” but who you’re sending it to and why. A new provider with no reviews? Probably no deposit. Someone well reviewed, or a longer booking or travel involved? A small deposit can make sense.

For me it’s less about hard rules and more about risk management. Every booking ends up being its own decision.

You are truly the expert on the subject! If anyone hasn’t already subscribed to your guide, they need to!🔥

Whether he’s “worth it” really depends on what your body responds to - happy to share how it actually felt for me if that helps.

Funny enough — I had a provider tell me BB usually comes at a higher rate.
His reasoning was just “better experience,” but it also felt like something he could leverage to charge more.
I remember laughing and going,
“okay… but you’re enjoying it more too, right?”
Because it never really feels like a one-sided upgrade.

Whether he’s “worth it” really depends on what your body responds to - happy to share how it actually felt for me if that helps.

It’s not uncommon in my experience for providers to charge more for special requests and if they don’t normally do BB they charge more if they’re willing to make an exception.

Whether those photos are real, stolen, or AI, that is one of the most beautiful specimens of manhood that Bozo has seen in a very long time.
With that in mind, 5 name changes is a definite red flag and never a good sign. That's even more times than Sean Combs aka Puff Daddy aka P. Diddy aka Diddy.
BTC
🤡

There are bottoms for whom it is important.  It feels different, reaches different spots, or maybe fulfills different psychological desires.  I know what I prefer, and if I'm going to hire, I want to satisfy my desire (not someone else's preferences or worldview).  

It's fine that it isn't important to you, but it's very clearly important to others -- there's a reason it's a sorting stat on RM or Sniffies.
Declaring that an interest in size is "disrespectful" is like a feminist arguing that porn is disrespectful, or arguing that TERF lesbians are anti-trans because they don't want to fuck a pre-op transwoman -- we can intellectualize it all we want, but sexual desire is what it is.  Don't yuck my yum.
This forum is a great place for men to be candid about their desires, and discuss them, but there's no need to impose our own preferences on everyone else.  

Did a little research.
The hiring frequency picked up 2024-10-16. It averages to ~5-6 reviews a month before that, but ~18 reviews a month after that date.
Sunday and Friday reviews are especially higher than other days pre 2024-10, but more evenly distributed after 2024-10.
Dates do line up for traveling providers.
Most reviews posted between 14:00 and 01:00. A spike for reviews posted 08:00 to 11:00, presumably overnight sessions.
In general, patterns do not look like the typical fake accounts. Not saying they are absolutely true, just inconclusive.

currently not hiring because my favorite dude is back in prison......messed up probation, I think.......shoot

That's him. He was great . . . until he wasn't. 

I had an interesting situation a while back where my regular top buddy got upstaged by a provider I hired and took it so personally that he stopped seeing me. He was a decent top but the pro was a beast and he put it on me in front of my buddy so good that my buddy got insecure and basically got cucked.
anyone else ever have this happen? I felt kinda guilty about it but tbh he was lazy and after that he knew it 

It’s a risk with any threesome, isn’t it?

No judgments here - I have a lot of kinks. But I also have rejection issues, whether I'm the one being rejected or the one doing it. And cucking feels too close to rejection. 

It's been years, but I used to sometimes hire two tops at once. Even if I felt like one was doing better than the other, I tried very hard to make them feel equal appreciated. And usually in the trying, they both ended up being well-received, so to speak. 

All that said, there is a certain hotness to what unfolded. Just not for me. 

PS - I would like to add that I have had scenarios where both tops understood that one of the tops would be more or less taking the lead. But they both knew that going in and were both fine with it and no one was cucked. It was more than one was Batman and one was Robin, so to speak. 

Interesting topic! As with many of the other people who have replied, I tend to go with regulars over new hires but do both. That's because I also find the first-time hiring process increasingly problematic. But even more, I find the encounters get better around the third meeting onward. 

Of course, providers leave the biz, move out of town or things fizzle, and the only way to find new regulars is to do the first-time thing again. And then sometimes, I just spot someone new who really gets my attention. But I'd say 75% of my hiring is repeat business. 

I share the same feelings.  I bet some of us here do as well.  That's probably why a few members here use the concept of "cheating" to describe seeing someone new.  I know the analogy is a joke, but loyalty / faithfulness is a very strange factor that can somehow influence the decision making process.   😅

Once I find a few providers I like, I stick with them, and try to hire them wherever finances allow.  Every now and then I’ll try someone new but I always come back to my established regulars.  Right now I’ve got one gentleman whom I’ve hired about 15 times and another that I discovered here on CoM and have hired four times.  Unless one of them leaves the business, I probably won’t be shopping around anytime soon.  To me, hiring is very intimate, both physically and mentally, so once trust is established, I’ll hire the guys I’ve come to know.  My selfish hope is that I’ll help keep them in business…

Limited experience here, only hired 5 providers in 10 years. Just recently found a provider I want to be a regular with due to the connection/chemistry. I only hire when I travel for work, and with virtual meetings, I'm doing a hell of a lot less travelling than I did when I was young. I live in a rural area, so no opportunity to find a local provider that matches my wants.

My area used to get a lot of visiting escorts. So I mainly tried new ones. We get fewer visitors nowadays. So I see regulars more often.

To me deposits themselves aren’t really the issue here. It really comes down to booking risk.

As clients, we worry about being scammed or ghosted after sending money. On the other side, providers worry about driving across town, booking hotels, or blocking out time only for the client to disappear. In a way both sides are just trying to shift the risk to the other side.

From a client perspective, the more useful question isn’t really “deposit or no deposit,” but who you’re sending it to and why. A new provider with no reviews? Probably no deposit. Someone well reviewed, or a longer booking or travel involved? A small deposit can make sense.

For me it’s less about hard rules and more about risk management. Every booking ends up being its own decision.

YES to both.  I have had regulars I have seen for as long as 15 years.  I also hire new men for the variety and to search out new regulars.  In NJ, I had four regulars and an occasional new friend.  Since I have moved to California, only one of those regulars has visited.  That has forced me to boldly go where many men have gone before, to RM to check out the menu.  I have found one gentleman who I have seen once a month or so for 2 days at a time.  There have been a few other men I have seen twice or three times and a few who were one and done.  
In reality, I have not missed the NJ regulars all that much, though I would certainly welcome them should they come out this way.  When I first moved here, I did try to tempt two of the them to come for an extended visit and picking up the travel expenses, but without success.  I speak with three of the four NJ guys on a regular basis, just to catch up and compare notes.  
So while regulars are comfortable and known, there is something exhilarating about a new guy when he turns out to be someone you want to see again and again.