DMonDude

My understanding of the difference between those terms is this: Group or Orgy: Some gathering of 5 or more guys who all are playing with each other with no real order or specific plan. Group and Orgy are functionally interchangeable, but most seem to use Group for some amount of guys on the lower end and Orgy for when it's a larger group. There's no exact agreed upon cut off to my knowledge. Me personally, threesome is 3 people, foursome is 4 people, a Group is 5 to 10 people. Orgy is 10 or more pretty much. Gangbang: Is generally any gathering of like 5 or more people where all participants are all focused on a main person. Like if you have 6 guys who are all playing with each other, that's a Group. But if you have 6 guys and one of them is a bottom that the other 5 are taking turns topping, that's a Gangbang. However, sometimes some of the other guys in a Gangbang may play with each other (jacking off or oral or frotting or whatever) while waiting their turn with the bottom. So then that leans into Group. There's differentiation but also a lot of overlap.

I have no info on him, but parts of his profile seem suspicious to me. His one review is an account made only a month after the providers account creation date (and it's already deleted or name changed). Provider lists himself as Straight, and half his About Me/Intos is about being into financial domination (getting you to give him money for nothing kink), selling used underwear/socks, and selling photos/videos. It just comes off like a lot of the profiles of guys who don't actually do anything and just want to direct you to their OnlyFans or some other cash grab they do. Who knows though, he could be legit and he just likes to have multiple sources of income 🤷‍♂️. He's super hot though, pics and the other "intos" in a vacuum i'd be super interested in him too.

Yeah it's interesting. You definitely don't have to be rich to do this hobby, but like you alluded to it really depends on what your other financial obligations are in addition to your income. I work full time, have apartment rent, car payment, and student loan debt. But i am in fact fortunate i have a fairly well paying job that also abuses the hell out of me, but pays over time for it luckily. So i have some extra money to do this hobby sometimes, but i do have a limit i can't go past. I'm envious of others who can hire much more frequently then i can too. Long as I'm working and not between projects, i can hire a handful of times a month for an hour or two each, depending on how much extra hours i work. Any time I'm not working or not doing as many hours, this hobby is the first thing i cut back on or pause doing. I know though there are clients here hiring for multiple over nights, weekends, or traveling and taking providers with them for days/weeks at a time. And that's unfathomable to me at my level lol. From both perspectives of having that much money as a client, and from the perspective of being hot enough that someone would spend that much money on you. Attractive people truly live in a different reality than the rest of us.

In my own experience, i haven't done a group more than 3 guys. But the way I've always done it is i either hire all the guys individually myself (and i run it by each of them who the other guys are and make sure everyone's cool). Or i usually have one regular hire who will be participating in the group and i ask him to pick guys for me. He asks other providers he already knows and has worked with before or browses RentMen himself and runs the options by me and i pick from the list. He knows the types of guys i like and it lets him pick guys he's attracted to too or simply can work easiest with. So everybody wins. Pricing depends. The majority of the time i've done group play, all the guys charged the same rate as if i was seeing them solo. But i have had one time where i was putting together the group myself and the second provider i wanted to join my regular and i wanted double his normal rate. So i guess he charges per person involved regardless of if it's clients or fellow providers he's working with. I ended up not having him join.

I never said it was easy. I said it's an option. And one others working in the same field with the same struggles or annoyances can and are making work. It requires creating a system based on analysis of your network and what cities you're working in as you likely know. Have you considered all this attitude you have is part of your struggles? Genuinely. And regarding this: "**And don’t think the escorts you do see traveling together, aren’t in some kind of situation or commitment together ** " Yeah... It's called team work. The ones i was referring to are a group of 10 or so escorts who all live and travel around to different cities who are friends and know they can work with each other and they made a plan and executed it. They keep in touch, group up when they're in the same city, split an AirBnB (not hotel) and they execute the plan. The experience you had with that one guy you described sucks, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to do unless it's someone you're dating. You just have to try again and find people you can trust and work well with.

You don't have to have premium to do it. You have to set your VPN so it appears you are in a different country. You can have a VPN on, but they usually default to a local server and still shows you as being U.S. based, thus RM reviews won't appear. I always change mine to Sweden when i do it.

Yeah this definitely is a good thing to do. I've seen guys who travel together, or know other providers in every big city, and they split an AirBnB and host that way. They split the costs, can all host in separate bed rooms of the house (at the same time even), have an actual kitchen to cook food in. And it makes it easy for them to advertise/offer each other to clients for group sessions. AirBnB i think is often simultaneously more expensive and inconvenient than a hotel these days for an individual non-provider. However, for this specific use case. I could see it being a compelling option for providers.

Yeah, i've seen that guy with at least 4 different names. Can't remember any of them, but he definitely has threads on him here.

I LOVE tattoos. It's an automatic attractiveness boost for me. Especially if they committed to an arm or leg sleeve or a medium-large chest or back piece or something. Or also have lots of cute small tattoos all over. The only ones i can't really find myself being into are face tats if it's more than one or two very small ones (and depending on placement). Or if it's a realistic portrait of a dead family member on their pecs, which I've found to be disproportionately common specifically with latino and hispanic guys. I don't hate it or think it looks bad and i think it's a beautiful gesture. I just don't want to be caressing a guys pecs or be taking it missionary and see the guys relatives looking back at me in the heat of the moment 🤣 As an arachnophobe, i also struggle with the popular trend of arachnid/spider tattoos a lot of young guys get these days.

Maybe changed his profile name? You mentioned he was traveling to Palm Springs. If you set your location to Palm Springs and scroll the profiles you might find him again if he did just change the profile name.

Jude Bellingham is an England/U.K. futbol player. Was very easy to Google it 😉

Not for me. There's almost no one unchecked box that is a deal breaker for me personally if all or even just most other boxes are checked. I'd just find another guy who's known for great oral when I'm really itching for that. In my experience, I've never found one guy that checks more than 3/4ths of my boxes, let alone all but one. So I've mostly just accepted I'll always need at least a couple main guys to collectively cover all my boxes.

Completely agree and i think about "why aren't providers/clients all on Signal or Threema?" a lot too. I have the same critiques of WhatsApp and all Meta/Facebook companies in general. I greatly dislike using their products/services and options like Signal or Threema are better in terms of privacy/anonymity. WhatsApp is widely popular mainly just because it'd already been the most widely used messaging app globally for a long time. It was one of the first messaging apps that really took off in widespread use during the times when regular SMS/MMS texting used to cost money, especially for international messaging. It's never lost that first mover/most popular app advantage. You may be aware of a lot of this, but under the hood, WhatsApp actually uses the same open source encryption protocol that Signal created and uses. The WhatsApp messages contents are truly encrypted, by default, in transit from device A to device B to the same level as they are on Signal and Meta can't read the messages. Which is actually a notable advantage over Telegram which does not encrypt messages unless you activate "Secret Chats". Which you have to do separately with each individual person you're messaging. Telegram's encryption for Secret Chat's uses MT Proto 2.0 protocol which is Telegram's custom, but mostly open source, encryption protocol and to my knowledge it works similarly but it's not the Signal protocol like Signal and WhatsApp use. Check this out for a deeper dive on WhatsApp encryption/data handling: https://www.securityhero.io/is-whatsapp-safe/ The same is true for Google RCS texting. RCS is the replacement to SMS/MMS that Google uses a closed version of (there's an open standard version but Google and phone carriers made it so that version doesn't get updates to make it usable for third party texting apps like Textra or other texting apps) and is the default messaging app on nearly all Android phones. It also has cross compatibility including encryption with Apple iMessage as of fairly recently, so iMessage texts with an Android user no longer fall back to SMS/MMS but to RCS on supported iOS and Android versions. This is also another main way sex workers/clients communicate. It also is encrypted, but Google and the phone carriers have the other identifying metadata just like WhatsApp and Telegram do. These big companies largely don't want or need the actual content of our messages anymore, but they do keep the metadata logs of who we message, when, where you are, device IP addresses, how much/long you use the app for, and other metadata (for years) and this is largely the info they are using to still build advertising profiles on us and to turn over to law enforcement when compelled to do so. That can then be what's used to get a warrant for a device search and they get message content from the actual devices of the users if it is still on the device. The advantage Signal has is that the messages/underlying protocol are fully encrypted and open source, the user facing app and server code itself is also open source meaning you or a trusted auditor can actually check that the app functions the way the developers say it does (not the case with Telegram and Whatsapp), and 3rd party code audits repeatedly show that basically the only data they ever have is when you made your account and the most recent time you last used the app/pinged a server. They don't even have the metadata for who is messaging who and when, let alone message content. It's all encrypted along with the message content. I feel like Signal isn't well advertised outside of tech minded/privacy minded people and spaces. It's most popular with politicians/government workers, reporters, political activists, and privacy seeking regular users. So i don't think many in the sex work space even know it's an option or they don't fully see the upside when WhatsApp/Telegram have the option to encrypt message content too (which of course is not the only aspect of messaging privacy that matters). Signal also has the problem any app competing with an entrenched dominating competitor in it's field has. Getting large swathes of people, even those just among a niche group, to switch apps/services is always a near impossible task unless something monumental happens that causes a mass user exodus from the popular app to an agreed upon alternative. This is objectively not true. Privacy is still a thing, and it's why the powers that be are still trying to increase their encroachment on it. Many countries/governments are still actively trying (and have not yet succeeded) to ban or gain backdoor access to things like encrypted apps or VPNs specifically because they do provide privacy. Privacy is important, is still attainable to varying degrees if you're willing to become technologically savvy and give up/find alternatives to certain conveniences we're all used to in the digital age. Many just simply aren't willing to put in that effort/give up those conveniences or don't know how or don't care how to figure it out. Which is why those that feel the way you do default to that position. It's not that we can't, it's that you don't want/care to because the conveniences you get in exchange for your privacy are worth it to you. You don't understand or just aren't usually the one directly affected by the instances when that trade off is abused. And that's truly totally fine, but just be aware and honest about it at least. Lack of privacy is not at all something you have to just accept, and some semblance of privacy is something everyone needs to varying degrees. Whether you think you have something to hide or not (and whether you do or not is subjective and sometimes isn't always up to you).

To my knowledge, yes. I've spoken with a new escort on this forum who was in process setting up an RM ad and he mentioned he was having trouble with it processing his ID during account creation and that was holding up him launching his ad. So it seems to me that is indeed part of the process, RM is checking IDs.

I guess i misread. I took OP saying "I haven't been able to tell if this would be a dealbreaker for me" and also saying that his current plan was to say "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I just want to see your teeth and your smile and make sure that I will be attracted to you. Could we do a video call and just make sure that this will be fine?". (also implying he needed a better look still) initially as him implying he saw a glimpse of maybe not great teeth but needed to see more to confirm. Which is why i suggested what i did. Maybe OP didn't explain properly? If he knows he's not into the smile then this is much simpler, he should just say he's not interested anymore or make up some other excuse like a financial related one 🤷‍♂️.

I've known one escort who travelers within the States regularly that as of last time i asked him about it hadn't had any issues. I've also heard multiple anecdotes of some non-sex workers who on paper should have had no issues, but did. As others said. From my understanding, on paper, ICE is mostly at the big airports and the main thing they're looking for are foreign nationals on expired visas (whether flying domestically or coming/going internationally). TSA is sharing passenger info with ICE. So that's how they then know who to target. On paper, theoretically, escorts traveling within and maybe even coming in from outside the country should be ok long as all their papers/visas/permits are correct and current (i can't speak to the facial recognition and possible escort database flagging aspect of this that BaronArtz smartly brought up but i think is a valid concern too). But that said... I'd also definitely still feel nervous and would think hard about traveling to the U.S. now if i were in those shoes. Other than just having hosted the World Cup, we've seen huge multi-billion dollars worth of tourism decline across the board here. Specifically tied to how ICE has made a pattern of being heavy handed and casting an overly wide net in regards to all this, since they're currently trying to meet quotas first and foremost. Which has resulted in some notable instances of even people who do have their papers in order, being hassled or held, among other things, by ICE. Which has rightfully got locals and foreign travelers alike, spooked.

Start by asking them if they work both solo and together, if they don't already list that on their profile. In my experience with guys who work in pairs (couple or just friends/co-workers) or larger groups. They always are totally fine if you just want one/some of them. The one you don't hire either just finds a client who is hosting and leaves to go work with that client while you have your session with the guy you chose. Or depending on the setup of the place they are staying in like a multi-room apartment/house AirBnB, they just hang out in another room or the living room while you have your session with the guy you did hire. It's not like having a real threesome hookup with a couple and you are more attracted to one partner or the other, which definitely could possibly cause some hurt feelings or jealousy. This is work for the guys you're hiring. They largely could not care less if you don't want both guys. No need to feel guilty.

In addition to what Vegas_Millennial said. Escorts you add to your Buddy List will also give you notifications when they list themselves as available. This is a separate feature to when the escort is simply Online. They might list themselves as being actively available for the next 5 hours and that will pop up in your notification list for escorts in your buddy list. It'll also give a notification for when your Buddy List escorts change their location or specifically are in your city.

Fixed that for you. The term/hobby for the body type of the guys you've mostly seen that you were looking for is bodybuilder. Guys of any body type can be narcissists.

You already addressed this in your post when you said "I know this can't happen here due to legality issues". It just doesn't work that way outside of those places in the U.S.

Bump

I bottomed. He lists verse/top on his ad, but i did not ask him about me topping him.

Kind of like @Pd1_jap mentioned, you could make an advertisement for yourself on https://rent.men/ or https://rentmasseur.com/ (or both, or any of the other sites he mentioned). Rent.Men is more "escort" focused and Rent Masseur is more Masseur + happy ending (and maybe more) focused. So depending on what you want to do and offer to your clients, advertise accordingly. You can list some stats about yourself, make a brief description of yourself and post a couple pics of yourself. The ad is can be posted here and that's what the clients here would use to decide if they want to hire you. Those sites also have their own user bases that will see your ad. How much of your face and such you post is up to you, but it will affect client interest to varying degrees. If you're trying to do this on the DL, you can post just body pics/nudes, but most clients will at least want to FaceTime you before meeting you to make sure you're real. Or you can send them face pics in the DMs. And you can link your twitter or OF if you have them on your rent men or rent masseur ads. Big city. Definitely plenty of clients here, just gotta get your self in front of them.

That's so odd... I've never encountered this on Grindr/Sniffies. On there in my area, nearly everyone who can't host is all about car/public play. Going off this and your prior comment. Maybe the demographic of guys you're having this interaction with are very afraid about going to some strangers house in the middle of the night and feel a hotel is more neutral a meeting spot while still being private? I don't know what A4A is like these days. OR maybe it's a possible scam setup thing? Like they're trying to get you to send them your half of the room fee, then they'd order it for themselves and not invite you over/give you the room number. So they'd be getting the room for half the price? I don't know. Seems very odd.

I'm fairly particular about teeth/dental hygiene too. Have never figured out a good way to ask about this either, because it's definitely blunt, arguably rude. But it can be especially make or break for me. Both for RM and even just dating or hook up apps in general, most guys don't post photos on their profile of them smiling. I just have been rolling the dice every time and have been lucky so far. I personally don't think i could bring myself to ask about it directly cause it's so specific and something many can be very insecure about. If it was me in your position, i personally would maybe still request to do a video call with him as a verification or last compatibility check and make him smile/laugh big and you'll be able to see. Then decide internally. He doesn't necessarily need to know the teeth check is the main reason for the video call. This method also would work for basically any other thing you'd want to get a feel for that isn't present in photos but that you also don't want to specifically ask about. Like maybe wanting to hear the guys voice/accent if that was something you were particular about for example.