DMonDude

It's almost as if people like different things and your idea of a dream profile is probably wildly different to OPs.

Definitely has been my experience so far after hiring for a little over a year. I've never really thought much of it though. I'm just trying to quickly set something up same as them, i don't need fake flowery intro messages personally. But i know many others enjoy that part. Well reviewed popular guys are getting dozens of messages a day and, if they're properly booked and busy, don't have time write a more drawn out thoughtful message. If they did, I'd personally assume it was a copy/paste auto response or an AI generated message anyway, which would be more off putting to me than a short message they typed. I usually get more cordial or casual messaging from them once I've booked and especially after I've hired and come back or become a regular.

I have 3 close friends who know i have hired once, and a 4th close friend who knows i hire regularly. The latter close friend is one of the few other LGBTQ+ male friends i have. He's in a very healthy open relationship, and is very sex positive in that he goes to circuit parties with fun back rooms and orgy events and otherwise hooks up fairly regularly. And he also just became friends with a provider in his city by chance (this friend does not hire though, he's hot and active in the scene enough where he doesn't want or need to). He and i have a lot of fun sharing our sexcapade stories with each other totally judgement free. No one else i know knows about me doing this though. I'd only ever tell people like my main friend who knows, if i knew more people who'd be cool with it like he is. The only other person i'd tell is a future romantic partner who ideally also would be into the hobby (or at least would be ok with me still engaging in it on my own).

They can but it seems RM requires evidence for them to do that according to SecretProvider. Anecdotally, I see plenty of providers with 1, 2, 3, or 4 star reviews that have been there for months or even years. So they either are choosing to not ask to have those taken down or it's something that's not easy to do at will just because they feel like it. I'm sure there's been notable examples of review removals happening, but i don't think it's as widespread thing as members here think it is. At least specific to warranted negative reviews being removed without evidence. Kind of related to this but going off what @SecretProvider said earlier about how one 4 star review can majorly impact a provider for all future booking clients and what not. Are RM reviews even really that important (specifically outside of CoM, where the the client is much more selective for quality)? Genuinely asking, because I've seen many provider profiles with shit reviews or no reviews who i know get clients regardless. One of my regulars i'd been seeing for a year has no reviews but has multiple clients both new and regular. Another one i know personally only has two 1 star reviews on his page with both calling out the same issue (both very validly and i can corroborate myself), but I've seen his DMs and he still gets an obscene amount of messages and texts daily with people interested to book regardless of the bad reviews and he stays plenty busy with them. Anecdotal obviously, but it really seems to me that reviews aren't worth much (either positive or negative) unless you come to CoM where the bar for what's good is a lot higher. So i just find it hard to believe one non-5 star review pulling a providers average down to 4.8 is really doing any damage to their ability to book. Just seems the bulk of the average client browsing RM doesn't care much about the reviews if they are interested enough in the provider. Maybe it's more an issue on RentMasseur than it is RentMen though?

Stuff like that can go either way. Absolutely could be a simple scam like others have said, or also could just be a guy who's not even a provider in the professional sense. Just some rando trying to make quick cash to pay his rent cause it's so much more popularized now to casually monetize your sex life. You very well might get some cheap action out of this guy but that has it's own bag of things to watch out for and that could go wrong. You might be opening yourself up to pestering "can you spot me $xx?" texts, funding someone's drug habit, opening yourself up to targeting if they get in a desperate enough financial or other situation, or otherwise getting dragged into their troubles. Speaking from experience.

Probably because they booked with another client first. Providers don't always open their DMs in chronological order. OP may have messaged the provider first thing in the morning but if the provider gets online at 1pm and books whoever messaged most recently then that's just how it is sometimes. Providers get lots of messages and sometimes your message gets buried, they can't always respond to everyone and there's no first come first serve queue 🤷‍♂️

Same day inquiries only just means he's only interested in clients who want to see him that day, not that he will respond to all inquiries within the same day.

I've definitely considered costume requests, but never pulled the trigger on asking yet. Things like changing facial/body hair or covering tattoos or anything like that are things i generally wouldn't consider asking a provider to do. I just don't have enough interest or specific desires for that and because since it's something that would also affect other clients decision making in hiring them, i would think it's something they'd likely not agree to without charging a ton extra for it unless it's a change they were already going to do anyway. Body hair in particular, clients can be super particular about and the provider can't switch styles/regrow the hair fast enough to appease everyone. So it just seems easier for the client to hire another provider with their preferred look to me (but also is easy for me to say in a big city with a ton of providers).

Any provider can have erectile function/performance issues in a given session. This can happen to anyone. This is not a "oh he's actually just a bottom" issue. Kind of a silly thing to do, specifically with OFs/Twitters because, just like with RM ads. In porn, guys often are doing what sells best, not what they personally do the most often. Someone who bottoms often in OF/Twitter content because they "look" like they should be a bottom and the audience expects them to because of it, may actually prefer topping in real life. It's not because they can't do it. Because like I'm saying, it's just an action anyone can choose to do or not do as they please. It's not innate to anyone's personality. Treating it as such just limits your self and your own perceptions of everyone else. I've personally not experienced what you have, I've known plenty of people who top the vast majority of the time but can still bottom well the few times they do it, they're just picky about who they do the latter with. And vice versa. So i see "once a bottom always a bottom" type mentality as very nonsensical and based in silly stereotyping that isn't based in anything real. Thus it's something you can free yourself of if deconstruct it. I'd be very curious to see if you still felt like guys aren't bringing the top energy if you had hired them without having seen their OF/Twitter or Grindr/Sniffies/Scruff as i personally think your ideas about people being intrinsically bottoms or tops taints your view of them once you see it regardless of how they actually are performing. Or if you did still feel like they didn't top well if you'd then just leave thinking "he's just not a good top" or "we just didn't have chemistry" which is the more realistic take. But if this is what works for you, go for it i guess.

Sure. But again, bottom/top isn't "who you are" and doing one more often doesn't mean you're incapable of doing the other, definitely not so across the board. Some bad experience with some other provider doesn't prove anything about this current provider.

You might be able to get past this by re-framing how you see bottoming and topping. Bottoming and topping are actions/activities, not personality traits or who someone is deep in their core. The community as a whole has a bit of an issue with this. The guy you're talking about may be perfectly capable of making it feel like he's totally into topping you and could top you very well. If he's well reviewed and exclusively advertises and is hired to top, surely he's doing something right there. If you just have to "feel" like they're into it, him bottoming in his personal life doesn't actually rule out that he could do that for you if you haven't given him the chance to show you yet. And if your requirement is them actually being into everything they're doing, then hiring in general kinda can't work for you because if providers were actually into us we wouldn't have to hire them in the first place.

He has a post here under his old profile name AlphaTor

Definitely has always been a mix of the two since the start for me. One of my regulars likes group play, so we try new guys together a lot. Two birds one stone. But at my peak hiring era; i had local regulars i'd see a lot, traveling regulars i would see every time they were in town, and then also would try new guys.

I start an interaction on the RM messages but prefer to move to texting or other messaging app at some point. Once it becomes time to meet it's just more efficient to text travel updates and "i'm here, what's the gate code?" or whatever type messages. I don't bother with using RM on my phone and even if i did just for browsing, i never enable any website to send notifications to my phone. Also, seconding what @ApexNomad said. Current photos are important. In addition to the upload date being shown. Some of us can tell by the image quality/resolution or roughly by what phone you have in a selfie how old the photo is and very very old photos are not a good look either way 🫣

Definitely a type of guy i love. I have no experience with him, but if you reverse image search his pics on Google. His Twitter with 218k followers and a link to his OnlyFans will come up. Plenty of pics and videos of him on his twitter of him solo, and a few pics/vids of him with other OnlyFans guys with the same look/vibe (young, latin, tatted, cute face, twink/twunk/muscular build, masculine, probably have social media followings, etc) on their Twitter pages will come up. One of the guys he collabed with, half the comments are of course people enjoying how hot he is but the other half on that guys posts are people making fun of him, Starkla (not his Twitter/OF name), and the other guys they collab with for being bad gay4pay actors and calling them out for not looking like they're into what they're doing or like the content is all very "teasing but don't actually do much" content as is common with many gay4pay OF guys. But there's also definitely videos of them kissing and sucking each other and stuff. So maybe they've expanded what they do over time or maybe they're actually gay/bi. Or maybe those commenters are just catty haters (they definitely have that vibe), i don't know. I'd be pretty tempted to hire him myself, but especially cause he seems to be new to RM i won't be surprised if he asks you for pics, has a very high fee, and probably be very limited in what he does unless he was into you (but i don't know that for sure, that's just me judging the book by it's cover and comparing to guys like him I've hired in the past without having messaged him yet).

Yeah, so you agree, this is nuanced and layered which means there is stuff to read into and process (which you said there isn't in your prior reply). And that includes why is it affecting OP and why did seeing what they saw stick with them. Not sure why you somehow see all this nuance and layers but don't see that specific one. Part of how people interpret the situation has to do with how affected they are by confronting the fact that the performance a provider puts on is just that, a character and performance. And how they handle seeing the provider out of character. There have been many posts here on this forum about people who struggle with that and get emotionally attached to providers specifically because not everyone can easily keep their feelings separated from the reality. Which is why people are bringing it up. It really shouldn't be difficult for you to acknowledge that that may be part of what's at play here. We're bringing it up as a point of concern for the OP, ignoring that doesn't help them.

I think you're maybe overlooking it. Again, i didn't say OP was wrong to not hire the guy. I wouldn't have either, their interest in hiring being affected is indeed reasonable, but that's not what the person you replied to or myself are talking about. What i am saying is that after choosing not to hire the provider, i would have immediately moved on after that and not thought about it anymore and i wouldn't have made a post about it. It's not important enough to require any other thought, consideration, nor need any other opinion/validation from others here unless one is taking it somewhat personally and they want validation in that. There's not much other opinion to have on what OP saw and their decision not to hire because of it other than "yeah i wouldn't have either". So that's why some are then asking the question what is it OP is hoping to hear from us about this, if they aren't ruminating on it more than they should be? The question of why did this stick with OP enough to need to post about it is also reasonable. If you don't see that, i think you're only seeing this on the most very surface level.

They aren't saying it shouldn't factor into the hiring decision (it does and should and OP was totally fine to not be interested in hiring after seeing that and i'd have done the same). They're saying why does OP feel anything about it beyond that? OP was bothered/offended enough by it that they felt the need to make a post here about it instead of just deciding not to hire and moving on. That's where OPs ego/hurt feelings come in and it's something OP definitely should internally reflect on. It's about OPs ability to handle the illusion being shattered and that lingering with them beyond deciding to not hire that provider anymore. If OP actually has a healthy relationship with engaging with the fantasy and illusion, seeing behind the curtain shouldn't still stick with them this much after the initial "oh ok i'm no longer interested".

It's pretty normal yeah. You are not messaging the wrong guys. Most you might get asked is what you like/want to do if you don't open with that yourself. How you want to pay. Whether you want to come to the provider or have the provider come to you if you don't make that clear yourself first. Some of the newer/younger provider guys actually will ask you for a photo to see if you're attractive or not, but that's actually very much not the norm for most male providers. Most are totally prepared to see you sight unseen. They don't! But the odds are low. Female providers just are more likely targets for law enforcement, physical/sexual assault, human trafficking, and they are more at risk for STDs because women have less protections against them outside of vaccinations and condom use. So they have to put in more effort to protect themselves against all of that. Male providers who see male clients and the male clients seeking them on the other hand are much smaller portion of the sex work industry and as such are less likely to be targeted by law enforcement. Male providers are less likely to be victims of assault by client (not to say it never happens, it's just less likely). Also, lots of gay/bi men are used to anonymous meetups or meeting total strangers for sex based on none, one, or a few pics in the middle of the night at places they've never been via hookup apps like Grindr or Sniffies. So that same cavalierness transfers to this. Not sure if you're just new to hiring male providers, or totally new to men in general... But STDs are somewhat less of a concern because men who have sex with men specifically have access to medications like PrEP as well as Doxy Pep that drastically lower our risk of catching STDs. These medications are targeted at the the men who have sex with men community because we're a smaller community that is having more sex, so when STDs do go around they spread in the community much faster. So the focus on STD spread suppression and medical study and preventative treatment dissemination is generally focused on the LGBTQ+ community because we had the AIDS epidemic in the 80s/90s. And simultaneously most of those medications are not tested on or approved for women yet. So with female providers, all the onus of STD mitigation is largely on the client. They have to trust you'll bring condoms or use the ones they give you or trust you on whatever your last test results you had that you tell them, with not much else to fall back on. Male providers can take these medications on their own and be more in control of the amount of risk they're taking when they engage in sexual activity. PrEP is a pill you take once a day and is 99% effective against preventing HIV infection. And there are newly available injection versions. One is a once every 2 months shot and the other is a twice a year shot. Both with the same effectiveness as the once a day pill version. Doxy Pep is a pill much like the morning after pill/Plan B that you take after a sexual encounter. You have up to 72 hours to take it but the closer you take it to when the sex happened the better it works. It lowers chances of getting syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia by 50-80%. Those and most other STDs are curable or treatable or are something you won't get because you likely received a vaccine for it as a child, like HPV. Gaining and keeping access to PrEP and Doxy Pep requires that you get tested for STDs every 3 months too. So people who do catch something are finding out quickly and getting treated sooner which ultimately lowers spread overall. So we're at a point where many male providers and men who have sex with men just in general feel ok to just take the pills/shot and have their fun/do their job with no questions asked. They accept the much reduced risk. There are concerns that STDs are becoming resistant to these drugs (there's a particularly strain of gonorrhea that is becoming an issue, but also just last year a new highly effective treatment was FDA approved), but it's something the medical field is closely watching out for. Which is part of why access to PrEP/Doxy Pep requires you be tested regularly so they can keep track of infection spikes and such. Not much else to be done about it till it actually happens in a more serious way beyond that. So, yeah male providers just don't really ask many questions. It just makes the initial interaction/setup way more efficient, but it probably feels sketchy as hell when you're new to this side of it as a client. That's absolutely how i felt when i was new to this.

The message he's actually sending, like Venite said, is "buy something or get out". Lots of clients ask to see pics just to get the free porn with no intention of booking. Providers get annoyed by this and they often will not open the photo gallery for you unless you message them first and actually talk to them about possibly hiring them which tells them you are at least serious about maybe hiring. Then they'll open the gallery for you. They want you to actually come into the store and talk to them, not just peep through the window.

Ghosting him just for asking about poppers (no where near as serious as actual hard drugs) seems a bit egregious. You could have just said "no thanks and please don't bring them around me even if just for yourself either" if you were otherwise going to still meet him. Ghost if he had said "nope i'm bringing the poppers anyway!" (which no normal person would have done).

I would have asked is it verification OR deposit, or verification AND deposit. Because those are two different sets of options. I personally have no issue verifying via video call or something. So if they were giving you the choice between verify or deposit, then you opted out without even making a choice (assuming the main thing you were trying to avoid was just the deposit part). As far as the drugs, i personally would have just said "no I'm not interested in any drugs, no need for that and i'd prefer you not be on anything during the session". If they resisted to that at all then yes i'd walk away. But just the mere offer or seeing "PNP available" on their profile isn't inherently an issue to me. No provider I've hired who procures or sells has had an issue with keeping that stuff away from me if i simply asked and none i've hired have ever brought it without me asking. Even those who dabble themselves have never come to a session with me on something and especially don't if i specifically ask them not to. I don't really care what they do in their other personal time or with other clients. I'd have at least asked a follow up question. But that's just me and has been my experience 🤷‍♂️

Anyone hired this guy before and can share experience/opinion? Or does anyone recognize him and remember past names he might have used if he has been reviewed here before? https://rent.men/Josh_BIGmeat

Massage ad doesn't really make a difference. Massage with full service extras/add ons (which can often be covered by "Sensual Massage", and that is on his ad too) being 300-400 still isn't crazy or abnormal in LA. Depends on what you actually asked him for in your message i guess, but yeah if he's specifically quoting you 400 for only therapeutic, that is definitely not a good price. He's charging the twitter/onlyfans model premium, just trying to make as much fast cash as possible.

You're saying this like 400 for 90 min is unreasonable. 300-400 for 1 hour full service is pretty normal in big cities, is it not? Or do you just feel like this guy specifically is not worth that?