ApexNomad

I’m really sorry you’ve been in those situations—I can’t imagine how frightening that must have been. For me, I tend to hire providers who are bigger, taller, and more muscular, and with those who aren’t regulars, there’s definitely an intimidation factor. It takes several meetings before I feel fully comfortable. The reality is, especially at my age, I’m well aware that any of these providers could overpower me if they wanted to. I always meet at a hotel—neutral territory for both of us (though I’ve stayed at some so often that the staff knows me by first name). If I ever felt my physical safety was in jeopardy (fortunately that hasn’t happened), I’d end the session and still give them the full amount. No questions asked. For me, the money I bring into this is theirs no matter what—I already know that going in—it’s simply not worth the risk or potential conflict to do otherwise.

A good rule of thumb is to allocate no more than 20-30% of your discretionary income to non-essential expenses. (One could argue that mental health improvements are essential, so there’s that.) At $1000 per month, you’re still within a reasonable range that offers plenty of opportunity for regular indulgence—especially depending on geographic location, where some providers’ rates might allow for longer sessions or even multiple providers at an hourly rate. Ultimately, it’s about balancing enjoyment with financial health. Since this was posted nearly two years ago, how has it been working out?

That’s a peeka-BOO!!

Interesting theory, but it’s not the full picture. Symmetry may play a role in universal attractiveness, but cultural ideals absolutely influence what is desirable at any given time. If beauty were purely biological, standards wouldn’t shift so drastically—even within the gay community. Think Tom of Finland’s hyper-masculine fantasy men of the 70s, the lean and androgynous twink aesthetic of the early 2000s, or today’s gym-sculpted internet influencers. Media amplifies and reinforces these trends, creating a feedback loop of aspiration. Biology sets the baseline, but culture shapes the narrative.

No need for a conspiracy theory—it’s called systemic bias. Media reflects societal preferences, which are shaped by historical power structures, and they reinforce each other. But sure, imagine the boardroom scene if it helps you grasp the concept.

Of course not, but the heart has a mind of its own. Sometimes emotions defy logic, no matter how much we try to stay grounded. If someone is new to this, it’s even harder to control. Boundaries are vital in these transactions.

You do you my friend. Normal is subjective—it all comes down to what you value and how it fits into your life. If it brings you happiness or meets a need, who’s to say it isn’t worth it?

Going into negative numbers - I love how you think!