ApexNomad

What’s “skinny fat?”

You are so funny about your quibbles, especially your number 2. I thought the same thing. In fact, the longer the scene went on, the more it took me out of it because I thought it was not plausible. Especially with Daphne not jumping in.

Meeting men as escorts is a transactional setup, where the power dynamic is entirely different. Expecting something more like a FWB or a boyfriend is not realistic. If you’re looking for that center-of-attention feeling—great—but remember, you’re paying for that service. Don’t leave the encounter thinking you’ve just made a new best friend or that something more permanent is on the horizon. Please manage your expectations accordingly.

If pleasure is what you want in the moment, I’m not here to stop you. Please enjoy yourself responsibly and respectfully with others. But if what you really want is to break free from this cycle you describe, it might take a little more than just finding the next thing to throw cash at. You deserve something that feels real, and that’s worth holding out for.

You say you want an FWB or a boyfriend, but it seems like you don’t actually believe that’s possible. You’ve decided the dating pool is trash, apps, clubs, and social circles don’t work, and cities are too flaky. So, how are you supposed to find what you want when you’ve ruled out every path to it? You also say you’re not concerned, but earlier you mentioned you’re afraid it won’t work out. So which is it? If you’ve tried everything and nothing worked, maybe the problem isn’t just external. Blaming cities, apps, and poor quality men keeps you stuck in a cycle where nothing will ever feel good enough. If you approach all of this with frustration and resentment, even the best opportunities will feel like disappointments. The escort path might offer a temporary escape, but it won’t give you what you’re really looking for. Intimacy—whether real or transactional—depends on what you bring to it. So, what do you actually want—a real connection, or just a way to break the monotony?

First of all, mid-30s is not old. Second, it sounds like you’re looking for something real but trying to find it in places that aren’t giving you what you need. Maybe it’s time to rethink where and how you’re looking instead of doubling down on what’s not working. Intimacy from an escort is a transaction, not a relationship. If you want something deeper, this route will only frustrate you more.

Whenever I have a shit day… I am watching this. Too cute for words.

I hope you continue to enjoy. Let me know what you think of the finale. (A season 2 is on its way.)

Bonds are only created between equals? Power dynamics exist in all kinds of relationships—mentorships, marriages, friendships, even parent-child relationships—and yet meaningful bonds still form. Financial disparity doesn’t automatically negate emotional connection. If that were the case, then friendships and marriages with economic imbalances wouldn’t exist. I appreciate your perspective. I think we have a difference of experience and philosophy. I will say if someone’s been having sex with me for eight years straight, there’s a bond forming, whether we acknowledge it or not. My barber isn’t in my bed. There’s a difference between being familiar with someone who provides a service and having an ongoing intimate connection, even if money is involved. You may not define that as a bond, but I’d argue that kind of consistency means something.

Guess I can always make it up to you another way. 😘

So you’re saying I shouldn’t expect a card from you?

Being in a relationship doesn’t automatically prevent someone from developing a bond or feelings with someone else. Connections can form in all kinds of situations. Just because there’s a financial exchange doesn’t mean a bond can’t develop. Maybe not for you it seems, but if I were seeing a man for 8 consecutive years—partnered or single—I’m almost certainly forming some kind of bond. To me, that’s natural—it means I like this person and care about them on some basic level to want to see them for 8 consecutive years. Doesn’t mean I love them. Some of the most genuine connections can form outside of traditional relationship structures, where both parties are clear on boundaries but still manage to bond in meaningful ways. Maybe the better question I should be asking—what do you mean by bond? Never forming a bond during a session? Maybe I’m not understanding.

In my bed, we say “makeroom.”

Thank you for this review! I remember watching the movie’s opening, when Madeline/Meryl Streep is performing on Broadway, and thinking to myself, I would actually pay to see that show everyone was walking out on! LOL.

Even people I do know go to voicemail.

What’s noteworthy doesn’t have to be something big. Your story and experience has value. If you ever feel like sharing, I’d love to hear it! 😊

That’s fascinating—thanks for sharing. I’ve never had an 8-year consecutive regular, and honestly, I’m not sure I could handle that. I’d have to really think about that, especially without forming some kind of bond during a session over that many years. Interestingly, I had a regular for almost two years before I started dating a man who eventually became my partner. Once I stopped seeing my regular when I was partnered, we decided to be friends—one of the few times that’s happened. Years later, when my partner and I went our separate ways, my former regular was still escorting, but our friendship had become so genuine that the idea of reverting back to a transactional relationship was not even a question. We’re still friends today. Also, I’m curious — how can he do an excellent job but not pretend to enjoy your fetishes? I couldn’t be with a provider more than once if I felt they weren’t enjoying it. Put aside whether their enjoyment is genuine or not - a great provider should never make you feel or see that they didn’t enjoy it.

To be honest, when I first saw his ad, he wasn’t someone I would have been immediately drawn to based on his tattoos and piercings. He also comes across to me in his photos as very intimidating. It’s just not typically my type. But there was something in his ad copy that caught my attention—he described himself as a “gentle giant,” and I thought, really? Okay, why not give it a shot? Once we started texting and talking, I was really surprised in the best way. He was incredibly sweet and easy to connect with. When we met in person, I was impressed not just by how strong he was physically (rock hard body), but also by how true he was to his words—he really was the gentle giant I was looking for. Present. Engaged. Really cared about my experience. It was an unexpectedly great time, and I thought he was a lot of fun. The lesson here, and one that I was reminded of, is don’t always judge a book by its cover. I was very wrong about him.

Yes! This man. https://rent.men/JimmieDaniels

You should consider your writing as ways to explore and express your desires, feelings, thoughts—let your imagination soar. And if ever you feel so inclined one day, I think many would benefit here from reading about the insights you’ve gained over the course of your journey so far.

Tone is definitely important, and being friendly and cordial is always a must. But even if you do all the “right” things, a lot of this is still subjective and depends on the individuals involved. Tone can sometimes be hard to read in text when there’s no voice or facial expression to accompany it. As for the “right questions,” it really varies. Someone completely new to this might unintentionally raise red flags for a provider, whereas someone experienced knows what to ask out of the gate and how to navigate the conversation smoothly. Finding that balance is key, but it’s not always a guarantee. Nowadays, a provider’s ad copy, the language they use, whether they receive an automated message when they text them, and how that message is worded—all of these things create a initial impression in the absence of face-to-face interaction. That really sets the initial tone. How the prospective client receives it can shape their approach in return. If the message feels warm and welcoming, they may respond with the same energy. If it’s more transactional or direct, they might adjust accordingly. That initial exchange lays the groundwork for the interaction, influencing expectations on both sides. But not always a guarantee.

He’ll be fine.

When you say his profile measurements are inaccurate, which you mention often, are you referring to dick size?

I guess starting a new thread, “More Bottom,” is out of the question?